I've never been good at keeping a journal, but perhaps i can place my notes here now and then.
Perhaps, in time, this place can serve as a method of making sense of me as a person, for those looking in.
And with that out of the way, let's begin.
I've been Rayl on the internet since i was 16, as of writing that was 20 years ago.
I've worn many hats since i took on this name and not all of them have fit, but that's life, right?
Graphic design for a start, i took that one on pretty early, taught myself from start to my first few works, sadly these don't exist any more for the sake of comparison, but i improved on my own for a good long time, it never really went anywhere besides making the odd desktop wallpaper and forum set, mostly for myself. I always knew my style wasn't for everybody and even the people who liked it wouldn't use it personally, that was fine, it was a hobby and as long as people gave me some praise now and again my young pride was easily uplifited but it slowly became less satisfying as the years went on, i couldn't even tell you when i stopped doing it or even why at this stage but hey i know how to wrangle a copy of photoshop well enough to make something when i need it.
Some quick examples of things i've done over the years:
I've tried my hand at video editing, helped organised "game rooms" for con meets for a certain forum (wonder which forum that was for *cough*) being a forum admin/mod, clan leader for a gaming clan, i was a mod on SheezyArt for a time (hoo boy those last three really didn't work out) and a bunch more that i've likely forgotten over the years and despite things not working out and alot of my choices and actions resulted in an eventual downward spiral into some pretty heavy depression, i don't think i'd change anything. I am who i am because of the things i've experienced after all.
I like to think that at the end of the day i've become a pretty decent person, somebody people have turned to for advice, if they need cheering up, a laugh or to speak in confidence. I feel i've earned a measure of trust for a few people and that is a remarkable feeling.
But for people new to me, i feel like i'm not approachable, the years have taught me to temper my passions and i feel that makes me seem somewhat cold and sometimes even jaded, alot of the things i love i'm more critical of and i can speak harshly of them but i wouldn't be that way if i didn't care and i care deeply about a fair many subjects.
And here we are, at the point:
For anybody reading up to this point, god i'm sorry for the ramble but i wish to ask of you, if you are interested in me or my thoughts on a subject, please go ahead and ask, i'll leave you some notes and maybe we can make some sense of me.
Stay Safe, Stay Well.