"We should duel sometime." - Joey Wheeler (Emotive's ALJ)

[Emotive]

Yes

*bearhugz* I'm glad you did. ^_^ Sleep is a nice reset for the mind.

[PharaohAtem]

Yeah

[Emotive]

Yeah

All hail sleep. ^_^ Well, except nightmares. That's when it's not so appealing to try to sleep. I know I've forced myself to stay awake after some really bad ones. Have you ever done that?

Oh, gonna make myself some instant coffee 'cuz I'm getting a little sleepy. But I'm determined to stay awake otherwise I'd sleep til midnight. lol It only takes 1 minute, give or take 30 seconds for the sugar and stirring. MUST STAY AWAKE!! Reminds me of an awesome song by Combichrist "Throat Full of Glass". I'll post a vid after my cup of coffee.

[Emotive]

@PharaohAtem here's the song I was talking about. Combichrist has a certain sound to them though, so you might not like them. Just in case though, wanted you to know what song I meant.

[Emotive]

That was an interesting vid. I haven't seen that though so I didn't really get the scenes but they still looked kewl. ^_^

[Emotive]

I plan on it at some point, but it might take a while. I don't really watch Toonami on Saturday nights anymore. Or that might be Sunday morning. Or both. It gets too frustrating for at least someone when trying to resolve timers for shows. I'd rather not contribute to frustration when I can help it. That doesn't seem to really make a difference though. A lot of assuming about what I do, and what I say isn't being heard as what I'm saying. It shouldn't have to be such a chess match to be home though. Bleh.

Might be a while, but I'll be in a better position to when the whole series gets released and I can buy the different seasons. I'd hate to get the season(s) it has out now only to have to wait and possibly forget until the next season gets released. I still have it on my radar though. ^_^

[Emotive]

Since it's snowing and foggy out there I can't listen to my YouTube Music without it pausing in a song for 3 or 4 seconds to play 1 or 2 seconds of said song I've been listening to the FF8 soundtrack. I wasn't expecting one of the tracks on that OST to remind me so much of my Big Sis. She was someone I was able to talk to without an eye rolling response when I couldn't see someone doing it. Little whispering about me doesn't help my paranoia. Man, I could tell my Big Sis anything. Aaaaaanything, and she wouldn't be rolling her eyes at me like I know mom and dad do. And yes, I understand that everyone's having a hard time right now so this might not register on the bigger picture but I'm going to say it anyway. I miss my Big Sis. Not being able to see a psychiatrist for not being insured doesn't help anything, and that's been for years I think. So while I see and hear criticisms from mom and dad when they probably think I can't see and hear them, I'd love if I could just talk to someone without that eye roll response I get and without my words or thoughts criticized like I could with my Big Sis. She never had any judgements or criticized. I know I'll probably never grow up, but I want my Big Sis to talk to. This is just a recipe for something bad to happen... but the song that's really reminding me of my own Big Sis is Fragments of Memories. I still don't know why though. Probably because Squall called

  Spoiler:  

Ellone

that? I mean, I think he did. I might be remembering wrong though.

[Emotive]

Time to try to sleep before it gets too late. Take it easy, everybody. ^_^ Stay safe. And g'night~

[Emotive]

I haven't gone to bed yet, so I'm still up. ^_^ The Holzer Files are always interesting, every episode.

[Emotive]

That they are. ^_^ I won't be staying up all night though but it's an interesting series.

[Emotive]

I will. ^_^ It always ends bad if I do stay up all night so I'll definitely sleep here shortly. Thanks for the concern though. It took a lot of trial and error though to realize that staying up had such a bad result for me. Not being insured though makes it difficult to get pills to help sleep other than over the counter stuff, but some of them work. But omg after years of not being insured I'd like to be so I could get prescription anti-depressants and sleeping pills again. It's just a safer feeling too when insured. Like, if I had to go to the hospital the bills for it would be pretty steep.

[Emotive]

Yeah, that's true too. I also wish the vaccine was like a one and done kind of thing but it sounds like if anything it might be annual like the flu shot. /: That's so discouraging.

[Emotive]

Yeah, bored. Apparently doesn't matter what I do, I ruin something. Very tiring. Ugh, so damn tired.

[Emotive]

Omg, I hate the realization of being selfish. >.< Mom's been feeling under the weather so she kind of didn't know today was my bday. I forgot she's been sick recently. Luckily it isn't COVID or she'd be in a hospital, but still. I always assume something rooted in paranoia that I blow out of proportion one way or another which is something I really wish I'd stop doing. The fact that I do that proves I'm selfish to some extent which is far more than I'd ever want to be. I just hate assuming something when it's my own mind working against me and not something with any tangible reality to it. Ugh. I think I've ruined my own birthday. lol Or most of it. >_<

[Emotive]

33 years old though. Sheesh, I feel so old.