Flighty Dreams and Harebrained Schemes {PortgasDAce}

[PortgasDAce]

Had a fight with my boyfriend today. It started with me saying I was too tired to go to my therapy group. This pissed him off and it went to him snapping at me about how it's my only job, and that I don't do anything. I've had mental health issues for years, and he's been my sole support, emotionally and financially. He's pretty much sick of me not having a job or a "real" hobby (I kept trying to say that social media is my hobby, but he says it's not really doing anything for me). I keep asking him how I'm supposed to fake my way through a job or "studying" some hobby that I have no interest in, and all I kept saying is "figure it out, it's got nothing to do with what I'm doing." So unless I find a way to fake my way through a job or some "productive' hobby I'm looking at being dumped and hopeless. I wasn't sure about posting this, but I'm feeling lousy at the moment. Been dropped off at the library instead of therapy to research self-help books and hobbies. but it really does feel like I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life faking my way through everything, because everyone else says that's what I'm supposed to do. I probably sound lazy and spoiled, but I remember the last time I did something because someone said I should was college, and I was miserable for 8 years. i'm not sure how to cope with another 40 years of something that's probably not going to make me happy either. I'm interested to hear what advice you guys might have.

[PortgasDAce]

I keep messaging him, but he doesn't want to respond....I hate today.

[Momogari]

Had a fight with my boyfriend today. It started with me saying I was too tired to go to my therapy group. This pissed him off and it went to him snapping at me about how it's my only job, and that I don't do anything. I've had mental health issues for years, and he's been my sole support, emotionally and financially. He's pretty much sick of me not having a job or a "real" hobby (I kept trying to say that social media is my hobby, but he says it's not really doing anything for me). I keep asking him how I'm supposed to fake my way through a job or "studying" some hobby that I have no interest in, and all I kept saying is "figure it out, it's got nothing to do with what I'm doing." So unless I find a way to fake my way through a job or some "productive' hobby I'm looking at being dumped and hopeless. I wasn't sure about posting this, but I'm feeling lousy at the moment. Been dropped off at the library instead of therapy to research self-help books and hobbies. but it really does feel like I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life faking my way through everything, because everyone else says that's what I'm supposed to do. I probably sound lazy and spoiled, but I remember the last time I did something because someone said I should was college, and I was miserable for 8 years. i'm not sure how to cope with another 40 years of something that's probably not going to make me happy either. I'm interested to hear what advice you guys might have.

Go to a temp agency.

There are 24 Express Employment Professionals offices in Michigan. I bet there's one near you. I've gotten four jobs from this franchise, two of them are jobs I've gotten before I walked out their doors, and I'm technically still working for them now but only until my company hires me on directly, which is in process with the company's HR right now. I've worked with two Express offices thus far but they've both been great. I got jobs quickly with them and they've always paid pretty well for what they were.

Did you finish college? That won't matter to just getting work but it could help in other ways.


Anyway fuck hobbies you can't force yourself to have a hobby that's ridiculous.

[unoduetre]

Had a fight with my boyfriend today. It started with me saying I was too tired to go to my therapy group. This pissed him off and it went to him snapping at me about how it's my only job, and that I don't do anything. I've had mental health issues for years, and he's been my sole support, emotionally and financially. He's pretty much sick of me not having a job or a "real" hobby (I kept trying to say that social media is my hobby, but he says it's not really doing anything for me). I keep asking him how I'm supposed to fake my way through a job or "studying" some hobby that I have no interest in, and all I kept saying is "figure it out, it's got nothing to do with what I'm doing." So unless I find a way to fake my way through a job or some "productive' hobby I'm looking at being dumped and hopeless. I wasn't sure about posting this, but I'm feeling lousy at the moment. Been dropped off at the library instead of therapy to research self-help books and hobbies. but it really does feel like I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life faking my way through everything, because everyone else says that's what I'm supposed to do. I probably sound lazy and spoiled, but I remember the last time I did something because someone said I should was college, and I was miserable for 8 years. i'm not sure how to cope with another 40 years of something that's probably not going to make me happy either. I'm interested to hear what advice you guys might have.

There is one thing to understand. You need money to live. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU MAKE IT. (unless it's illegal (which will hurt you sooner or later)) (unless it's something that hurts you in any way or is boring as f… (which will hurt you sooner or later)). Just find a way to make money that you feel comfortable with.

You like anime. Maybe try something art-related? Try to make some stuff anime fans might like and try to sell it. Cosplay goodies? Jewelry? Plushies? Cool anime-themed glasses? Cool beanies? (But remember about copyright of course.)

Or maybe try to get a job in a bookshop? Or a library? Or get a job as a babysitter and watch anime with kids. Well, maybe the last one is not the best option for a person with mental issues, but try to find something suitable.

Or do the temp thing Momo mentioned. Just jump between different jobs until you find something you at least partially enjoy doing. Or just try the weirdest jobs you can find. Or just learn software development.

[PortgasDAce]

Go to a temp agency.

There are 24 Express Employment Professionals offices in Michigan. I bet there's one near you. I've gotten four jobs from this franchise, two of them are jobs I've gotten before I walked out their doors, and I'm technically still working for them now but only until my company hires me on directly, which is in process with the company's HR right now. I've worked with two Express offices thus far but they've both been great. I got jobs quickly with them and they've always paid pretty well for what they were.

Did you finish college? That won't matter to just getting work but it could help in other ways.


Anyway fuck hobbies you can't force yourself to have a hobby that's ridiculous.

Thank you for the advice.

I did finish college, but my original major didn't work out. It's embarrassing, but I kind of ended up with an unskilled degree.

My boyfriend keeps saying I won't know what I like or am good at until I try it.

[PortgasDAce]

There is one thing to understand. You need money to live. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU MAKE IT. (unless it's illegal (which will hurt you sooner or later)) (unless it's something that hurts you in any way or is boring as f… (which will hurt you sooner or later)). Just find a way to make money that you feel comfortable with.

You like anime. Maybe try something art-related? Try to make some stuff anime fans might like and try to sell it. Cosplay goodies? Jewelry? Plushies? Cool anime-themed glasses? Cool beanies? (But remember about copyright of course.)

Or maybe try to get a job in a bookshop? Or a library? Or get a job as a babysitter and watch anime with kids. Well, maybe the last one is not the best option for a person with mental issues, but try to find something suitable.

Or do the temp thing Momo mentioned. Just jump between different jobs until you find something you at least partially enjoy doing. Or just try the weirdest jobs you can find. Or just learn software development.

Thanks for the ideas! I'm always afraid that I'm going to get in trouble if more jobs don't work out (fired from two and quit two because of anxiety in the last 5 years). Trial and error makes sense though. I swear, getting an interview at a bookstore or library is like pulling teeth. I've applied a lot, and one of the apps requires you to know a ridiculous number of movies and books. *lol*

I do keep wondering if there's something I can easily learn and earn money with on the computer, since I'm on it all the time anyway.

[PortgasDAce]

Thanks you guys. I'm really glad this is a safe place to talk. I feel like if I'd posted this on someplace like Facebook it would have angered a lot of people.

[Luffynatsu87]

Thanks you guys. I'm really glad this is a safe place to talk. I feel like if I'd posted this on someplace like Facebook it would have angered a lot of people.

Yeah here you have people that listen to you and not judge which what i like about being part of this site, i hope everthing gets better for you and that new year bring. good things come your way

[Momogari]

No degree is useless. What degree do you have though?
We can help with your resume too. You can keep your name and shit off it of course.

[Teeny]

Is there any self employment work you could try? Something you're really good at that you could do from home if anxiety is an issue?

[unoduetre]

[mention=117579]PortgasDAce[/mention]

You mentioned computers…

Have you considered a career as a software tester? You can earn ok money and many companies are looking for them, but you don't need to know how to program (unless you're actually interested in programming, that's a different story then). I think you should be able to do a course on software testing and you should be able to find a job as a junior.

This job is a bit repetitive, but depending on who you are, it might be ok for you. The requirements are clear and if you follow the procedure carefully, there is no risk to fail. Is it something you might be interested in?

[Pixiedora]

I'm sorry you had an argument Hope you manage to make up later

Have you considered volunteering as a start? It could be something fun, and you could do different things? My husband has anxiety and is thinking about going for a new job in the future, so is volunteering now to get experience and see what he's interested/capable of doing. Also you shouldn't be punished for not staying in jobs, so please don't let that feeling impact you negatively. I don't know about America, but here (in my experience from people I know) if you have gaps or less time at other jobs they usually just ask for a reason on applications/interviews, and mental health is an extremely valid reason. More and more companies are getting much better at supporting and understanding mental health. (I know it has a long way to go but it's slowly getting better!)

[PortgasDAce]

@PortgasDAce

You mentioned computers…

Have you considered a career as a software tester? You can earn ok money and many companies are looking for them, but you don't need to know how to program (unless you're actually interested in programming, that's a different story then). I think you should be able to do a course on software testing and you should be able to find a job as a junior.

This job is a bit repetitive, but depending on who you are, it might be ok for you. The requirements are clear and if you follow the procedure carefully, there is no risk to fail. Is it something you might be interested in?

I think it'd be something I'd be willing to try. I'm a slow learner, so repetition is a good thing for me.

[PortgasDAce]

Yeah here you have people that listen to you and not judge which what i like about being part of this site, i hope everthing gets better for you and that new year bring. good things come your way

Thank you so much.

[PortgasDAce]

No degree is useless. What degree do you have though?
We can help with your resume too. You can keep your name and shit off it of course.

It's a degree in Interdisciplinary Humanities. Basically in addition to college core crap, you pick three subjects and earn at least 15 credits in them, and take classes like Economics, Geography, Finance, or Philosophy as part of the "Quantitative Studies" requirement. I feel like I'm missing some things, but I can't remember. I attached the resume to this post if you wanted to take a look at it. I haven't had a job last long enough to be counted on my resume (my longest lasting one was 7 weeks, and I got fired from it so I removed it from the resume).