i'm a mess of a human being

[lolin]

i definitely complain too much too

[Master of Vvardenfel]

but you don't let your personal trauma control you and you're accomplished and put together and doing well in life and all that jazz

i saw a post MoV said about him going back to school too and i know he's been put together for ages as well

idk, i feel at 30 i'm just way too delayed in way too many categories

I appreciate the sentiment but like Arya said, we do our best to put up fronts, we've been lucky enough to have each others support through this and I understand that not everyone has that.

I am far from put together, I have no formal education, never got my GED, I have 3 unfinished degrees, 2 from universities and one from a tech school, with all the associated debt from that, I work full time at a dead end low tier job because I literally don't know what else I want to do with my life.

but I try not to think too much about that.

Instead I focus on things that are achievable.

you're not too delayed because you're 30, hell dude, you're only 30!

[Master of Vvardenfel]

i definitely complain too much too

venting is important, we all know bottling up emotions is bad

[Arya]

but you don't let your personal trauma control you and you're accomplished and put together and doing well in life and all that jazz

i saw a post MoV said about him going back to school too and i know he's been put together for ages as well

idk, i feel at 30 i'm just way too delayed in way too many categories

My personal trauma did control me for a good long while. Years. I was quite content giving in to the pain. I only began to fight back out of guilt and responsibility if Im being 100% honest. To regain control, I had to find purpose which was not easy, because again, I was content having none. Ultimately, that's what drove me into the medical field. Even though its too late for me to change my tragedy, I will do everything I can to save others from a similar outcome. It wasn't easy. It's been brutal. Ask MoV, pretty sure Ive told him Im a masochist a million times just this week, and not in the hot kinky way....in the, why do I punish myself so much way. XDDD


MoV is an exception to every rule. v_v Im not sure how nature created him but I agree he is a rare phenomenon.


That said, I don't think either one of us are where we pictured ourselves being at this age. There's plenty of things I want that I don't have, that make me depressed to think about.


Lolin, do you know how to eat an elephant? :3

[Arya]

i definitely complain too much too

oh Im a chronic complainer.

But Im a snob about it. There's only 2 "people" I wanna tell my problems to.

MoV, because well....hes my best friend.

and my cat. because no matter what I tell her, she still always sleeps on my feet. <3

[Arya]

venting is important, we all know bottling up emotions is bad

>>;;;

<<;;;

[Master of Vvardenfel]

My personal trauma did control me for a good long while. Years. I was quite content giving in to the pain. I only began to fight back out of guilt and responsibility if Im being 100% honest. To regain control, I had to find purpose which was not easy, because again, I was content having none. Ultimately, that's what drove me into the medical field. Even though its too late for me to change my tragedy, I will do everything I can to save others from a similar outcome. It wasn't easy. It's been brutal. Ask MoV, pretty sure Ive told him Im a masochist a million times just this week, and not in the hot kinky way....in the, why do I punish myself so much way. XDDD

It's true, she does.

MoV is an exception to every rule. v_v Im not sure how nature created him but I agree he is a rare phenomenon.


That said, I don't think either one of us are where we pictured ourselves being at this age. There's plenty of things I want that I don't have, that make me depressed to think about.


Lolin, do you know how to eat an elephant? :3

you put me on far too much of a pedestal, you know better than anyone what I'm like, and how much I struggle.

If it weren't for you I honestly don't know where I'd be right now, you changed a lot of the worst parts of me for the better.

[Master of Vvardenfel]

>>;;;

<<;;;

you make this face like I'm not also a professional giving some of the most hypocritical advice of my life

[Arya]

you make this face like I'm not also a professional giving some of the most hypocritical advice of my life

Well I mean you are. But then again, so am I. Takes you a good while to get me to tell you whats actually bothering me when Im in a mood. XD

[Master of Vvardenfel]

yeah you're pretty bad at the whole talking about your feelings thing.

[Master of Vvardenfel]

except when you're feeling pissed off about how messy the house is.

[Arya]

It's true, she does.





you put me on far too much of a pedestal, you know better than anyone what I'm like, and how much I struggle.

If it weren't for you I honestly don't know where I'd be right now, you changed a lot of the worst parts of me for the better.

You're the most put together person I know.


and thats the thing, [mention=881]lolin[/mention] being "put together" isnt a measure of achievements. One of our lead cardiac surgeons lost his job a few months ago because come to find out.... this doctor who probably makes a few million a year...has a mansion out on the beach...drives a Benz G-wagon.....beats his wife in front of his children. He was beating his wife so bad one night it could be heard from the beach and a tourist who heard the commotion called 911. This guy was highly esteemed and had been for 20 years....but he was also a raging, wife beating, alcoholic.

dont beat yourself up. <3

[Arya]

except when you're feeling pissed off about how messy the house is.

v_v well I mean, yeah. Im vocal about that. Cant have those feelings pent up.

[Master of Vvardenfel]

You're the most put together person I know.

well someone needs to take care of you D:

v_v well I mean, yeah. Im vocal about that. Cant have those feelings pent up.

I mean you could.

I wouldn't mind.

[Arya]

What >/