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Post by Emotive » 15 Jan 2022, 05:31

I knew I liked "Understand" by Combichrist for a reason. I kind of let myself go for a very short while, but longer than anyone is probably used to seeing or hearing me do. Then that song came on.

The opening lyrics almost instantly calmed me down:

"Today is not the right day to fall apart
Pick up the pieces, walk out of the dark
It won't discriminate
It will swallow you whole"

I'm glad I have the option to listen to that song. Otherwise I would've kept chasing the rabbit of anger, and probably not ended up in a good place. So, I'm still trying to calm down more, but this song really stopped me in my tracks, because the darkness will absolutely swallow someone whole, without hesitation and without any remorse that darkness is not my friend. It would lead to all kinds of wrong choices, and today truly is NOT the right day to fall apart. So, I just need to calm myself down. I've got it on loop right now though. So, I'll be ok. Just a little hiccup.

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Post by Emotive » 15 Jan 2022, 11:32

I'll be staying up all night playing Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage to get the Platinum Trophy. I've completed all of Kenshiro's Meridian Chart, so finishing his Legend Mode won't be difficult. I've set it to normal on the difficulty though out of the 3 options of Easy, Normal, Hard, and I remember Hard was really too lengthy, but Normal should be quick enough to where I'm not taking forever in Toki's, Kenshiro's, or Raoh's Legend modes and Dream modes.

But, after chugging a bottle of energy drink I'm still tired enough that I might be able to sleep. So I guess we'll see if I can sleep or not.

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Post by Ivory » 15 Jan 2022, 16:25

*pops in and waves at Emotive*

I love your recent sig/avi set btw! Wolfs Rain is a great anime. :3

Did you end up getting some sleep btw?

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Post by Emotive » 15 Jan 2022, 22:29

Ivory wrote:
15 Jan 2022, 16:25
*pops in and waves at Emotive*

I love your recent sig/avi set btw! Wolfs Rain is a great anime. :3

Did you end up getting some sleep btw?
Hey. :^_^: I think I've talked to you before at some point too. Unfortunately though my memory has only gotten worse though, so I'm not actually sure what it was that we talked about the last time we did talk, but it's really good to hear from you again. :^_^:

And thanks! It's one of my all-time favorite animes. It's managed to capture how the wolves can have a supernatural theme to them sometimes. I've always loved wolves, so when I first saw this anime I dropped everything else when it first came on tv. lol But the ending is really sad though. It makes me choke up every time. There's more depth to the ending than I thought though but when watching it it's hard to think about anything other than what the last episode shows, but omg the ending really does make me cry every time. :(

I did actually eventually get some sleep. I just got woken up by someone slamming things around, probably intentionally getting me to wake up before I got enough sleep though, it'd fall in line with all the other things he's been putting me through. But, it's really not worth me getting all angry over, so I've calmed down... substantially... and I'm just enjoying my games atm. If I get tired enough though I do plan on going back to sleep, unless a certain guy wakes me up again by slamming things around. Thanks for asking though. :^_^:

It's so nice to hear from you again though! How have you been? * BEARHUGZ *

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Post by Ivory » 16 Jan 2022, 19:08

Emotive Syndrome wrote:
15 Jan 2022, 22:29
Ivory wrote:
15 Jan 2022, 16:25
*pops in and waves at Emotive*

I love your recent sig/avi set btw! Wolfs Rain is a great anime. :3

Did you end up getting some sleep btw?
Hey. :^_^: I think I've talked to you before at some point too. Unfortunately though my memory has only gotten worse though, so I'm not actually sure what it was that we talked about the last time we did talk, but it's really good to hear from you again. :^_^:

And thanks! It's one of my all-time favorite animes. It's managed to capture how the wolves can have a supernatural theme to them sometimes. I've always loved wolves, so when I first saw this anime I dropped everything else when it first came on tv. lol But the ending is really sad though. It makes me choke up every time. There's more depth to the ending than I thought though but when watching it it's hard to think about anything other than what the last episode shows, but omg the ending really does make me cry every time. :(

I did actually eventually get some sleep. I just got woken up by someone slamming things around, probably intentionally getting me to wake up before I got enough sleep though, it'd fall in line with all the other things he's been putting me through. But, it's really not worth me getting all angry over, so I've calmed down... substantially... and I'm just enjoying my games atm. If I get tired enough though I do plan on going back to sleep, unless a certain guy wakes me up again by slamming things around. Thanks for asking though. :^_^:

It's so nice to hear from you again though! How have you been? * BEARHUGZ *

*squeaks as she hugs him back*

It's alright, my memory isn't the best at times either. xD I'm sure we have talked randomly in the past but I couldn't tell you about what. >.<

I've seen the first few episodes of it but I really need to go back and watch the whole thing, wolves are one of my favorite animals too second only to snow leopards. :3 I love anything that has to do with supernatural and wolves, vampires etc.

You should tell the guy slamming stuff around to knock it off :< Which game are you playing first?

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Post by Emotive » 16 Jan 2022, 22:23

Ivory wrote:
16 Jan 2022, 19:08
Emotive Syndrome wrote:
15 Jan 2022, 22:29
Ivory wrote:
15 Jan 2022, 16:25
*pops in and waves at Emotive*

I love your recent sig/avi set btw! Wolfs Rain is a great anime. :3

Did you end up getting some sleep btw?
Hey. :^_^: I think I've talked to you before at some point too. Unfortunately though my memory has only gotten worse though, so I'm not actually sure what it was that we talked about the last time we did talk, but it's really good to hear from you again. :^_^:

And thanks! It's one of my all-time favorite animes. It's managed to capture how the wolves can have a supernatural theme to them sometimes. I've always loved wolves, so when I first saw this anime I dropped everything else when it first came on tv. lol But the ending is really sad though. It makes me choke up every time. There's more depth to the ending than I thought though but when watching it it's hard to think about anything other than what the last episode shows, but omg the ending really does make me cry every time. :(

I did actually eventually get some sleep. I just got woken up by someone slamming things around, probably intentionally getting me to wake up before I got enough sleep though, it'd fall in line with all the other things he's been putting me through. But, it's really not worth me getting all angry over, so I've calmed down... substantially... and I'm just enjoying my games atm. If I get tired enough though I do plan on going back to sleep, unless a certain guy wakes me up again by slamming things around. Thanks for asking though. :^_^:

It's so nice to hear from you again though! How have you been? * BEARHUGZ *

*squeaks as she hugs him back*

It's alright, my memory isn't the best at times either. xD I'm sure we have talked randomly in the past but I couldn't tell you about what. >.<

I've seen the first few episodes of it but I really need to go back and watch the whole thing, wolves are one of my favorite animals too second only to snow leopards. :3 I love anything that has to do with supernatural and wolves, vampires etc.

You should tell the guy slamming stuff around to knock it off :< Which game are you playing first?
That's a relief. lol It might sound strange, but when someone else has a difficult time remembering it eases my insecurities about my own memory not working. :sweatdrop:

It's awesome when someone else has the wolf as their favorite animal. :^_^: Werewolves though, they scare me on a primal level. I don't know what it is, but they're just incredibly horrifying. I still love werewolf movies though. lol The first one to scare the crap of me as a kid was An American Werewolf in Paris. I love that Stingray mix of "Mouth" by the band "Bush" too. I've loved it since that day too, along with some of Bush's other songs.

It really gets interesting when it picks up. They meet a lot of people along the way that are interesting, including another wolf pack. Although they're more dispirited than Kiba, Tsume, Hige and Toboe. But it's for a good reason, it's just surprising how serious it is and yet has its funny moments, like when Hige always seems like he's hungry. lol

Well, I was playing Xenoverse 2 for a while on my Switch, but there's been a mental decline, so, I'm playing my go to game to vent: Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage. I'm just blaring my Korn playlist as I play too. It's a good fit to the gameplay. :sweatdrop:

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Post by Ivory » 16 Jan 2022, 23:07

Emotive Syndrome wrote:
16 Jan 2022, 22:23
That's a relief. lol It might sound strange, but when someone else has a difficult time remembering it eases my insecurities about my own memory not working. :sweatdrop:

It's awesome when someone else has the wolf as their favorite animal. :^_^: Werewolves though, they scare me on a primal level. I don't know what it is, but they're just incredibly horrifying. I still love werewolf movies though. lol The first one to scare the crap of me as a kid was An American Werewolf in Paris. I love that Stingray mix of "Mouth" by the band "Bush" too. I've loved it since that day too, along with some of Bush's other songs.

It really gets interesting when it picks up. They meet a lot of people along the way that are interesting, including another wolf pack. Although they're more dispirited than Kiba, Tsume, Hige and Toboe. But it's for a good reason, it's just surprising how serious it is and yet has its funny moments, like when Hige always seems like he's hungry. lol

Well, I was playing Xenoverse 2 for a while on my Switch, but there's been a mental decline, so, I'm playing my go to game to vent: Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage. I'm just blaring my Korn playlist as I play too. It's a good fit to the gameplay. :sweatdrop:
It makes sense xD I know I feel better when I'm not the only one who forgets stuff. :P

It's funny, I can totally handle werewolves, vampires, ghosts etc but the one that actually freaks me out is zombies... >.<  I can't watch movies with them in it or play realistic looking games (most are these days though) because I get spooked too easily. xD

I'm not familiar with either of those games to be honest but they sounds interesting. o.o

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Post by Emotive » 16 Jan 2022, 23:19

Ivory wrote:
16 Jan 2022, 23:07
Emotive Syndrome wrote:
16 Jan 2022, 22:23
That's a relief. lol It might sound strange, but when someone else has a difficult time remembering it eases my insecurities about my own memory not working. :sweatdrop:

It's awesome when someone else has the wolf as their favorite animal. :^_^: Werewolves though, they scare me on a primal level. I don't know what it is, but they're just incredibly horrifying. I still love werewolf movies though. lol The first one to scare the crap of me as a kid was An American Werewolf in Paris. I love that Stingray mix of "Mouth" by the band "Bush" too. I've loved it since that day too, along with some of Bush's other songs.

It really gets interesting when it picks up. They meet a lot of people along the way that are interesting, including another wolf pack. Although they're more dispirited than Kiba, Tsume, Hige and Toboe. But it's for a good reason, it's just surprising how serious it is and yet has its funny moments, like when Hige always seems like he's hungry. lol

Well, I was playing Xenoverse 2 for a while on my Switch, but there's been a mental decline, so, I'm playing my go to game to vent: Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage. I'm just blaring my Korn playlist as I play too. It's a good fit to the gameplay. :sweatdrop:
It makes sense xD I know I feel better when I'm not the only one who forgets stuff. :P

It's funny, I can totally handle werewolves, vampires, ghosts etc but the one that actually freaks me out is zombies... >.< I can't watch movies with them in it or play realistic looking games (most are these days though) because I get spooked too easily. xD

I'm not familiar with either of those games to be honest but they sounds interesting. o.o
lol Zombies also scare me away too easily. Like, back when the first Resident Evil on PS1 I tried to play it, but the opening movie scared me so much that I even thought it was supposed to be based on true events. xD Although I'm admittedly not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Some people will say otherwise, but I've got no illusions about how below average I am. Zombies though, some of the scariest creatures I've ever heard of. lol

Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 is on the Switch, but you can also play the Xenoverse 1 story in it if it's on the Switch, something which I think is awesome. XD Ken's Rage is for PS3 though. I've never got the platinum trophy for it yet, but I'm closer to being able to now. :^_^:

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Post by Ivory » 16 Jan 2022, 23:34

Emotive Syndrome wrote:
16 Jan 2022, 23:19
lol Zombies also scare me away too easily. Like, back when the first Resident Evil on PS1 I tried to play it, but the opening movie scared me so much that I even thought it was supposed to be based on true events. xD Although I'm admittedly not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Some people will say otherwise, but I've got no illusions about how below average I am. Zombies though, some of the scariest creatures I've ever heard of. lol

Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 is on the Switch, but you can also play the Xenoverse 1 story in it if it's on the Switch, something which I think is awesome. XD Ken's Rage is for PS3 though. I've never got the platinum trophy for it yet, but I'm closer to being able to now. :^_^:

I think I've only seen one of the Resident Evil movies (might have been the animated or CGI one?) and it was in the movie theater sooo long time ago xD
Also there's nothing wrong with being average. :P Yes they are quite scary ;-;

I hope to get a Switch or Switch Lite at some point down the road but we'll see. Other things have to take priority first though. Adulting really sucks sometimes. haha

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Post by Emotive » 16 Jan 2022, 23:56

Ivory wrote:
16 Jan 2022, 23:34
Emotive Syndrome wrote:
16 Jan 2022, 23:19
lol Zombies also scare me away too easily. Like, back when the first Resident Evil on PS1 I tried to play it, but the opening movie scared me so much that I even thought it was supposed to be based on true events. xD Although I'm admittedly not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Some people will say otherwise, but I've got no illusions about how below average I am. Zombies though, some of the scariest creatures I've ever heard of. lol

Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 is on the Switch, but you can also play the Xenoverse 1 story in it if it's on the Switch, something which I think is awesome. XD Ken's Rage is for PS3 though. I've never got the platinum trophy for it yet, but I'm closer to being able to now. :^_^:

I think I've only seen one of the Resident Evil movies (might have been the animated or CGI one?) and it was in the movie theater sooo long time ago xD
Also there's nothing wrong with being average. :P Yes they are quite scary ;-;

I hope to get a Switch or Switch Lite at some point down the road but we'll see. Other things have to take priority first though. Adulting really sucks sometimes. haha
I haven't seen a CGI Resident Evil movie, but I loved the Milla Jovovich movies. Everyone else hated how it didn't fall in line with the game, but it's a movie so why would it be exactly like the game? But hey, there's haters with almost everything. Well, if not everything. lol Too scary. But if the movie is awesome enough then I'll watch it. It's really odd, I've got a bigger problem playing zombie games than watching zombie movies. I never really understood why though. Also I'm terrible at shooting games. lol One time I played one called Black on the PS2, I kept holding down the trigger button until the bullets ran out. rofl Each time I had the controller, I never realized it's supposed to be fired in bursts, I just thought it was different since it was a game, plus my experience with firearms is basically non-existent. There's nothing wrong with being average though, just insecurities that possibly make me think my capabilities are less than they really are. Most likely anyway. The greatest enemy to someone is themselves, more often than not. :^_^:

I haven't managed to adult yet... I try, but I always switch to the same reactions that I had as an adolescent: loud music, slamming things... sometimes yelling way too loud... I'm surprised nobody's called the cops for a domestic disturbance from me yelling yet. I keep trying, but I -always- shrink back to those behaviors... it probably doesn't help that familiar things make me feel more comfortable, and there's been the idea that I might be in the spectrum of autism, just some kind of high-functioning level, but mom says it would make sense of my whole life. Honestly, I kind of want to have a reason as to why I've felt so different and never could be normal, but on the other hand there's so much wrong with me already that I don't know if it would necessarily be a good thing to have that diagnosis... And dad will be retiring really soon, so there won't be enough time to do anything about it even if I do have it. I mean, is being mature really just not something I have the tools to be? I keep falling back into the reactions and behaviors I had when I was growing up and angry, no matter how hard I try to be normal it's never something I've been able to be. ... Although mom and dad keep expecting me to act normal like everyone else. I don't think they realize how I'm just not normal.

If you ever do get a Switch let me know so we can exchange Friend Codes. :dance: I still can't join any multiplayer games or anything, but 0 Friends gets depressing to see when you login to a gaming account after a while. :sweatdrop:

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Post by Emotive » 17 Jan 2022, 00:30

I've switched to my Maynard James Keenan playlist though (A Perfect Circle, Puscifer, Tool) and it meshes really well, even using Raoh. :dance: :dance:

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Post by Ivory » 17 Jan 2022, 00:32

Emotive Syndrome wrote:
16 Jan 2022, 23:56
I haven't seen a CGI Resident Evil movie, but I loved the Milla Jovovich movies. Everyone else hated how it didn't fall in line with the game, but it's a movie so why would it be exactly like the game? But hey, there's haters with almost everything. Well, if not everything. lol Too scary. But if the movie is awesome enough then I'll watch it. It's really odd, I've got a bigger problem playing zombie games than watching zombie movies. I never really understood why though. Also I'm terrible at shooting games. lol One time I played one called Black on the PS2, I kept holding down the trigger button until the bullets ran out. rofl Each time I had the controller, I never realized it's supposed to be fired in bursts, I just thought it was different since it was a game, plus my experience with firearms is basically non-existent. There's nothing wrong with being average though, just insecurities that possibly make me think my capabilities are less than they really are. Most likely anyway. The greatest enemy to someone is themselves, more often than not. :^_^:

I haven't managed to adult yet... I try, but I always switch to the same reactions that I had as an adolescent: loud music, slamming things... sometimes yelling way too loud... I'm surprised nobody's called the cops for a domestic disturbance from me yelling yet. I keep trying, but I -always- shrink back to those behaviors... it probably doesn't help that familiar things make me feel more comfortable, and there's been the idea that I might be in the spectrum of autism, just some kind of high-functioning level, but mom says it would make sense of my whole life. Honestly, I kind of want to have a reason as to why I've felt so different and never could be normal, but on the other hand there's so much wrong with me already that I don't know if it would necessarily be a good thing to have that diagnosis... And dad will be retiring really soon, so there won't be enough time to do anything about it even if I do have it. I mean, is being mature really just not something I have the tools to be? I keep falling back into the reactions and behaviors I had when I was growing up and angry, no matter how hard I try to be normal it's never something I've been able to be. ... Although mom and dad keep expecting me to act normal like everyone else. I don't think they realize how I'm just not normal.

If you ever do get a Switch let me know so we can exchange Friend Codes. :dance: I still can't join any multiplayer games or anything, but 0 Friends gets depressing to see when you login to a gaming account after a while. :sweatdrop:

I'm pretty sure that's just human nature hun. :3 Most people are more likely to seek something that's familiar rather than something that's new or unknown to them. Maybe you just need to do some research and see if there are any other tools out there that might help you such as meditation or exercise etc Though to be honest, I think you're fine just the way you are. :3

I will be sure and let you know if I do get a Switch ^-^ I honestly wish I could find my 3DS but it's lost somewhere in the house, most likely the bedroom. x.x

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Post by Emotive » 17 Jan 2022, 00:54

Ivory wrote:
17 Jan 2022, 00:32
Emotive Syndrome wrote:
16 Jan 2022, 23:56
I haven't seen a CGI Resident Evil movie, but I loved the Milla Jovovich movies. Everyone else hated how it didn't fall in line with the game, but it's a movie so why would it be exactly like the game? But hey, there's haters with almost everything. Well, if not everything. lol Too scary. But if the movie is awesome enough then I'll watch it. It's really odd, I've got a bigger problem playing zombie games than watching zombie movies. I never really understood why though. Also I'm terrible at shooting games. lol One time I played one called Black on the PS2, I kept holding down the trigger button until the bullets ran out. rofl Each time I had the controller, I never realized it's supposed to be fired in bursts, I just thought it was different since it was a game, plus my experience with firearms is basically non-existent. There's nothing wrong with being average though, just insecurities that possibly make me think my capabilities are less than they really are. Most likely anyway. The greatest enemy to someone is themselves, more often than not. :^_^:

I haven't managed to adult yet... I try, but I always switch to the same reactions that I had as an adolescent: loud music, slamming things... sometimes yelling way too loud... I'm surprised nobody's called the cops for a domestic disturbance from me yelling yet. I keep trying, but I -always- shrink back to those behaviors... it probably doesn't help that familiar things make me feel more comfortable, and there's been the idea that I might be in the spectrum of autism, just some kind of high-functioning level, but mom says it would make sense of my whole life. Honestly, I kind of want to have a reason as to why I've felt so different and never could be normal, but on the other hand there's so much wrong with me already that I don't know if it would necessarily be a good thing to have that diagnosis... And dad will be retiring really soon, so there won't be enough time to do anything about it even if I do have it. I mean, is being mature really just not something I have the tools to be? I keep falling back into the reactions and behaviors I had when I was growing up and angry, no matter how hard I try to be normal it's never something I've been able to be. ... Although mom and dad keep expecting me to act normal like everyone else. I don't think they realize how I'm just not normal.

If you ever do get a Switch let me know so we can exchange Friend Codes. :dance: I still can't join any multiplayer games or anything, but 0 Friends gets depressing to see when you login to a gaming account after a while. :sweatdrop:

I'm pretty sure that's just human nature hun. :3 Most people are more likely to seek something that's familiar rather than something that's new or unknown to them. Maybe you just need to do some research and see if there are any other tools out there that might help you such as meditation or exercise etc Though to be honest, I think you're fine just the way you are. :3

I will be sure and let you know if I do get a Switch ^-^ I honestly wish I could find my 3DS but it's lost somewhere in the house, most likely the bedroom. x.x
I can't actually get any medication because I'm not on insurance. We keep meaning to get me on Medicaid, but there's so much that we need to do and my bad memory it's still something we need to do. Maybe someday. :^_^: Thanks for saying that too. :^_^: My friends probably have their patience tested every time I forget something they tell me and I keep asking, then I forget again and ask them the same question I forgot. I mean I can never remember but there's always this feeling in the back of my head that I've asked the question before. I think they say I have, but I can never remember. It honestly seems like a total 50/50 of if I remember something or not. I'm still not sure why. :?

Oh crap! I hate when I lose a gaming device. I've lost a Gameboy Advance but since found it, luckily. Though that isn't always the case. There used to be a purple Gameboy Color I'd use to play DBZ Legendary Super Warriors which is still one of my favorite games to play. lol I hope you can find the 3ds too. I'll never be able to get either one, but what's the difference between the 3ds and 2ds? Like, is there any significant difference or just subtle?

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Post by Emotive » 17 Jan 2022, 10:44

Well, I'm not in a mental decline, sharp or otherwise. So, I think I'm doing better, but I'm still not tired enough to sleep. :=/: Hallucinations that come with mental illness really are something to reckon with... but, soundproof headphones really are helping a lot in this situation. lol Really unexpected, but I'm glad I asked for them that one Christmas when I got them. I mean, they really do work like a charm. I can't hear anything else going on, all the arguments that I hear that are not only not possible but apparently not even happening... so, that was sobering to find out. I mean, dad was in my parents' room and mom was in the front room watching tv, so an argument literally physically couldn't have been happening. I just need to figure out what to do now. These soundproof headphones though really do keep me from getting overly riled up like I otherwise most likely would be though... I mean, the situation is a little complicated, but it's actually got a solution now. Well, kind of a strange solution, but... hey, these soundproof headphones really are helping the overall situation. :^_^: No sharp mental decline happening here~. :dance: :dance: :dance:

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Post by Naughty Kitty » 17 Jan 2022, 19:53

I'm glad they are helping Emotive stay strong your doing great! :)

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