Discussion: Writing dialogue

Channy · Post by **Channy** » 12 Sep 2019, 17:35

I think dialogue can be categorized in a few different ways. Some examples are:

Conversations between two or more characters.
Exclamations.
Inner-thoughts, such as questions, opinions, etc.

Very often, especially in conversations between characters, I describe their facial expressions, or their feelings. If it is a newly-introduced character, I may add some background. I do this between exchanges, but not always.

For an example, here's a scrap from an unfinished chapter I typed up last night. It only took about 15 minutes, so it's rough. Character names and the overall content are funky and I'm chiseling those out too, but I wanted to focus on the dialogue pacing specifically. For a little context (didn't want to dump the whole thing in), it's the sixteenth birthday of my main character, Nika, and some other characters are introduced here. Her society is split on the opinion of antiquated arranged marriages, something Nika absolutely does not want.

So, my question in a case like this is, when introducing new characters, is it better to cut straight to the dialogue, or give a little background between lines? For instance, 'who is this person?', 'what are they wearing?,' 'what do they look like?'.

Edit: this portion does not start at the beginning of the chapter.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1D7pFvA ... Dz6CN/view

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LKG · Post by **LKG** » 13 Sep 2019, 03:59

To give the surroundings of the subject , can either vilify, or convey likewise other connotations, such as a hopeless back drop , only adding to better the tale being told . Your on the right path , the reading was fluid , and easy to understanf actions , the onimonapia of the gasping at the question of who nika was to pick.

Post by **Expendable** » 15 Sep 2019, 02:26

Depends on how you're presenting the piece. If, for example, we're dealing in the first person, I might start off with introducing a new character with conversation if the new person was not immediately seen by the main character.

"Mrs. Carter?"
"Ms. Carter!" I snapped, turning to glare at the blonde standing in the doorway. She looked to be dressed for a ball, not a court room.

Endynyp · Post by **Endynyp** » 16 Sep 2019, 15:31

I agree with Naughty Kitty and Expendable. It really depends on what's happening. For example, when you convey as much detail as you did (about Pippin that is), you are also conveying that this character will be important to the story. Getting that established right away (again like you did) is probably a good choice. It seemed like you wanted the reader to have an understanding of their relationship right up front. It also served to slow down the pace, which seems right. This is an awkward exchange and slowing down the pace served a purpose: the reader had to linger in the situation longer. On the other hand, if you meant this to be a tense witty situation then breaking up the dialogue like that would have broken the mood. Of course those are just examples.

P.S. Sorry it took me so long to read this. I have family in town.

I liked the snippet BTW

Channy · Post by **Channy** » 16 Sep 2019, 16:22

Endynyp wrote:I agree with Naughty Kitty and Expendable. It really depends on what's happening. For example, when you convey as much detail as you did (about Pippin that is), you are also conveying that this character will be important to the story. Getting that established right away (again like you did) is probably a good choice. It seemed like you wanted the reader to have an understanding of their relationship right up front. It also served to slow down the pace, which seems right. This is an awkward exchange and slowing down the pace served a purpose: the reader had to linger in the situation longer. On the other hand, if you meant this to be a tense witty situation then breaking up the dialogue like that would have broken the mood. Of course those are just examples.

P.S. Sorry it took me so long to read this. I have family in town. I liked the snippet BTW

You hit the nail on the head. I wanted to emphasize the strained sort of relationship they have, but also communicate that he's a major player in the story. It was supposed to be awkward. Pippin isn't a very nice guy.

And right, I've been a bit uncertain on where to put exposition in conversational scenes like this.

Endynyp · Post by **Endynyp** » 17 Sep 2019, 07:29

I think you put it in just the right place here.