One is crying. The other is 'numbness.' It just happens that way. If she has any emotion it would be fear as she just lost her family.
Also, the second paragraph after the letter, you opened your eyes, but straight after that, you talked about the light that burned through your eyelids while it was still closed. That didn't work either because in my mind I saw you open your eyes to shout to the heavens, but there is no mention of you closing your eyes again.
Just some things I wanted to mention. I am not great at grammar since I grew up Afrikaans- hence I am not saying anything about grammar here, but story writing I know plenty of. Otherwise, you look like a really good writer. It's just the small things that can break a reader's attention. Once that is fixed with your final draft, this story will be fantastic. For now, I know it is a work in progress. Good luck
