[CL] Some poems and junk

[Mykalwane]

Just beaten the game, so probably just a rough draft here.

Review: Deadpool
Rating: M

Graphics:0
Fun: 1
Gameplay: 1
Sound:0

Score: 2/4

Deadpool is a budget game sold at brand new price. It does its best to hide the flaws,
by incorporating them in. Can't make a lot of different enemies, say they're all clones.
It makes killing the clones, a fun game. It's more about the journey then the end.
Outside of the appeal of, its Deadpool, the hacky slashy nature becomes stale.
Deadpool appeal is a love letter to Deadpool. It comes off as annoying, masochistic,
silly, balls off the wall insane, and boring. For some that's Deadpool to a D.

Boring being the worst. This comes from it feeling and looking like a budget
game. So end up spreading things so thinly. Having uninspiring repetitive backgrounds.
Full of sewage, office buildings, and destroyed building is cheap. The enemies being repeated.
That's cheaper then trying to find something creative, well just swap clothing.
The whole story is a joke to justify doing so. Its done to focus on it being a love
letter to Deadpool. Where all the great moments of the game come from. Where else are
would you get a musical number with death, or slap fight falling from a building into
a bouncy house?

Drudge of the game's repeatative enemies are worth going threw to relive those moments.
As bad as jumping on floating terds, its made up for by the surprise party and fun diologe.
There is no shortages of great moments, which pop up. As many that cause laughter and joy,
cause groaning and misery. Trying to do so much, yet failing short. Every fall is met with
a rise. Leaving this rather medoric experience after the game is done. Even the "challenge"
mode is the same. Feels like a joke that was slapped on, in hopes of selling more "challenges".
Slay enemies in a tutu, what joy that must be.


All in all, its worth the price of admission. Just a rent rather then buy for most. Still it is
a joy to go back to find something missing. In the desert of summer where there is no new game
in sight. Deadpool is cool glass of beer. The silly and fun do run short. For what it delievers,
that's good enough.

[quote="Kilidath"]

Deadpool is a budget game sold at brand new price]

[Mykalwane]

Pretty much past couple of days at work I could sum up as there are 3 lights. Now most are more familiar with the fact Picard of next gen says there are 4 lights. Most forget that after he has been torchered that with the ship's counciler that he believed there were 3 lights. That he was broken, if it wasn't for the Enterprise coming in to save him. He would of been lost. Its one of those things that has more weight to me because its a single words that mean a whole lot more. There are 4 lights is often what I say to my day after a bad day. The day isn't going to beat me. Rather saying there are 3 lights means that I've almost lost it. Its not exactly a metaphor. Just the closest thing I could think of regarding my life right now. Since thepromt said

1. Write a poem about your own life, using some sort of a metaphor to describe it. Has your life been like a stroll in the woods, or does it remind you more of a boat trip in the storm? Has your life had deciding points that made a difference, or has it been a series of random occurrences?

Figure it is the closest I could do to it. Been the first thing in awhile to write on since still stuck with the Deadpool review. I still need to fix it, it isn't exactly right. Thought not sure how to make it right.


There are 3 lights.

Each number ticking by.
For the remainder vie.
Result clearing supply.

In one, out other
Wonder why bother.

Defray of the day.
Wailing ass bray
Hailing dismay.

Daggers at throat
Response emote.

Not today.

I find it interesting you decided to go with subtracting syllables as the poem goes on. Basically you go from 6 to 3 as the poem progresses. It creates an interesting effect in the poem. Although I do have to say the line "wailing ass bray" really confuses me. Might because the NextGen reference is lost on me, though.

[Mykalwane]

This one was for another prompt. The idea came from the fact that there was someone at the light, turning it green when I waved. Things were just timing out so well. That for a solid 2 weeks I did that. Each time I came to the light I was wave at the red light camera. It would turn green exactly when I waved. Turned out that wasn't the case, but that is the idea this comes from.

A light
~

Wave hello
to know.

Ever in passing
Do each meet

Lone at night
Along the street

Wave to you
Green to go

Little flick on
Allow such flow

Never to know
That waved hand

Never was so
For it unmanned.

Hm, I'm beginning to notice you like to write using rather short lines and syllable counts - well, at least recently. Is it intentional? It's creates a rather curious, abrupt rhythm to your pieces. Is it your voice as a poet, or something you do consciously?

I read the poem without reading what it was about first and I have to admit I didn't quite get it; especially the ending felt strange to me. What do you mean by "unmanned"? The "green to go" also seemed a bit sudden. The beginning I really liked, however; especially the second stanza. I had this mental image of two people brushing each other by in the street.

I'm not sure how I feel about the repetition in this poem; I think you did it intentionally, but somehow it doesn't quite fall into its place. Maybe it's because the lines are so short; any repetition of a word (wave) really jumps out. I think if you want to keep it, you might want to make the way it's repeated more uniform so that it seems more intentional.

Having read the subject matter of the poem, I still struggle with the last line, but heee, what an interesting topic to write about!

[Mykalwane]

~
Off collar

What dark eclat lark.
Mental mark that hark
Pitapat depart

Felt quark result titlark.
Flutter bark exclaim murk.
Dwelt skylark
~
A break down in case unclear.

at, rk, at, rk
x , rk, at, rk
at, rk

lt, rk, lt, rk
x rk, x, rk
lt. rk

was the rythem I used. Things that work on grammar for their structure I have trouble with. I never learned grammar threw school. I didn't learn it in x grade, and they assumed I knew it. Even when I ask for a break down of simple things they go, its elementry stuff go on to other stuff. So most of what I have learned is threw the years bit by bit. Kind of why I cherish critiques since what I do know of grammar is from that.

A break down to help out.

What dark eclat lark.
What dark showy mischievous

Mental mark that hark
Mental mark that recalls

Pitapat depart
Quick tapping steps depart.

Felt quark result titlark.
Felt out of place oddity result songbird

Flutter bark exclaim murk.
Flutter bark exclaim gloom.

Dwelt skylark
Dwelt in frolic

Which is all about an off collar joke.

[Jigglypuff]

This one was for another prompt. The idea came from the fact that there was someone at the light, turning it green when I waved. Things were just timing out so well. That for a solid 2 weeks I did that. Each time I came to the light I was wave at the red light camera. It would turn green exactly when I waved. Turned out that wasn't the case, but that is the idea this comes from.

A light
~

Wave hello
to know.

Ever in passing
Do each meet

Lone at night
Along the street

Wave to you
Green to go

Little flick on
Allow such flow

Never to know
That waved hand

Never was so
For it unmanned.

Hm, I'm beginning to notice you like to write using rather short lines and syllable counts - well, at least recently. Is it intentional? It's creates a rather curious, abrupt rhythm to your pieces. Is it your voice as a poet, or something you do consciously?

I read the poem without reading what it was about first and I have to admit I didn't quite get it; especially the ending felt strange to me. What do you mean by "unmanned"? The "green to go" also seemed a bit sudden. The beginning I really liked, however; especially the second stanza. I had this mental image of two people brushing each other by in the street.

I'm not sure how I feel about the repetition in this poem; I think you did it intentionally, but somehow it doesn't quite fall into its place. Maybe it's because the lines are so short; any repetition of a word (wave) really jumps out. I think if you want to keep it, you might want to make the way it's repeated more uniform so that it seems more intentional.

Having read the subject matter of the poem, I still struggle with the last line, but heee, what an interesting topic to write about!

[Mykalwane]

It goes back to a love of cottony accent, and have trouble rhyming. Though that last line is because it was unmanned, because it was automatic. Green to go was a bit sudden such as what actually happen. Felt kind of like were brushing by. Now a lot of rhyming I tend to try to replicate what I like hearing. Since that is probably the closest I can get to understanding how to do it at the moment. Unicorn by Irish Rovers, Johnston by Sweeney's Men, Mermaid by The Morrisseys for a few examples. Seems to be the closest I get to doing something on my own.

[Mykalwane]

Another prompt. This time if something common changed.

Boolavogue

Levity breath reality
All a joke
Serious be nope
Some would hope

Piacere drank elixir
No more tears
All be cheers
Some in arrears

Extemporise heart's apprise
No more impart
Without a counterpart
Life schismatic

Life be a bore
Joy another sore
Without sorrow to soar.

[Mykalwane]

Lost thinking about my Femshep and Liara lead to this. Was sampling Irish ballads on Itunes for new songs at the same time. Just listing to it got me writting.

Mo Ghile Mear

Waking up is the nightmare.
Broken never to be repair.
Yet still she stays.

Lashed out.
Thinking there's a bout.
Her arms wrapped around.

Lost in battle.
Mind's left the saddle.
Calmly she whispers.

"We're safe" she weep.
Kissing a check.

Never did she lose composure.
Knowing this wouldn't be over.

Every day repeat.
Every day bleak.
For the peace we seek.
Did this old gun become obsolete.

Still did she stay each day in conceit.
Without this old gun's heart beat.
Could she be complete.

[Mykalwane]

Baulk of Fox
~
Young a man walked his block.
Round it every day.
Now curious a fox came across.
"Why around and around?"
"For it is where I'm bound," he respond.
Devilish a thought, the fox blocked his walk.
The man stepped over the fox.
Fox not detoured came around the next day.

Woman of beauty was along the path.
Legs lower, hooting and howling.
Young a man walked his block.
Furious a fox return to foam.
"There's a pretty lass, why pass?"
"For it is where I'm bound he respond.
"Why?" the fox said flaring his tail.
"Its the path I choose."
The fox stomped a foot.
Fox not detoured came around the next day.

A brute stood in the way.
"No you will stay," the brute boasted.
"Not today," man replied.
Fist after fist, punctuated the man's body.
When the brute was done and huffing.
"Are you done with your roughing?
The man asked as the brute pasted out.

Furious fox returned to rant about.
"Why stand your ground as your body was pound?"
"For it is where I'm bound."
"Why, when doing so risked your life?" the fox retort.

Now the fox had good reason.
For it was fox season.
As the fox was trying to find why he was bound.
Was the hunted fox found.
Unaware, was the fox, in line for a shot.
Out of a sling, rock came hot.
The man moved to block.

Scared the sling, went away.
Yet the fox stay.
"For it is where I'm bound. If not you be found dead."
He said, knowing this the end.
Fox howl and cry.
The sun itself sunk low to ask why.

"If I wasn't trying to stop his block.
He be around to walk ." the fox baulk.
The stars out, dancing about.
Brightening the sky heard the fox's words.
Knew what deeds to spur.

Starlight took the man before they ascend.
Now a new star appeared in the sky.
North star to show the way.
Fox headed home with that as its guide.
Seeing that normal routine was important as his chaotic tricks.

Hmm... I hate to say it but none of these entries were as enchanting as I'd hoped. The first one had potential, however, I didn't enjoy the way it was presented. Entry two also features a stimulating concept although the ending seemed rather cliche. Entry three... This one was particularly hard to follow. Still I find myself wondering where or why this man was bound so that helps it stand out along with its interesting structure and word choice so #3 GMV. Everyone had the right idea with their fables/myths, I just felt like they could've been executed much better.

entry 3 was a little hard to follow, I think due to it being presented more as a poem, with parts that don't fit well due to forcing to fit into the poem. Personally I think it might have flowed better as more normal prose, though that's just my opinion. That said, it was an interesting idea and way of presenting it, even if it wasn't to my personal taste/preference.

I really enjoyed entry three. I wish it would have flowed a bit easier.
but all in all the symbolism in it was beautiful. Order and chaos.. fate, Life and death. It has a very yin yang feel to it.
Along with showing that you just don't know how a stranger can influence your world. Or what your destiny is.
So its got my vote.

The third is interesting, with a good build up. But there was one bit of it -

"
Now the fox had food reason.
For it was fox reason.
As the fox was trying to find why he was bound.
Was the hunted fox found.
Unawear, was the fox, in line for a shot.
Out of a sling, rock came hot.
The man moved to block.
"

Was this supposed to be 'Fox Season' in the second line? Otherwise the rest of this makes little sense. And "unaware" is mis-spelled.

[Mykalwane]

Had a request threw tumblr for a Kasumi Goto that I am working on. What I have so far.

Dubious delicious deceit.

Slipping threw the dark
through pockets of each mark.
Taking goods and heart.

Left a rose to bare.
Softly resting derriere
Petals ready to be pared.
A beauty to ensnare.

A little prick

Diving in the topiary
Delightful spread to bury
A vain place in a cherry.
Left only to sing merry.

[Mykalwane]

What I said at my dad's funeral

When you live your life, like its your last day. Eventually it will be your last day.There are many pieces that are empty in that appearance. Something that will be missed. In exchange we were given pieces to go on with. Little things we might not take notice of. Something as simple as the appreciation for the word anit. Watching the end credits of a good movie. Appreciating the world as, it will be as it will be. Saying goodbye to the one who gave you courage, and being able to face the world alone. Best to remember the pieces that continue on threw each other. For matter isn't destroyed or created. It only changes. His last words were, I need some sleep. So let's let him be, and continue on forward. We're probably already making a bigger deal then need be. So we'll move on not in mornment, but in celebration of the life he had. What he has given us.

This is a very profound speech and I agree we should take more consideration of those little things for they are often more precious than we give notice. I'm very sorry for your loss, Mykalwane.

[Ioreth]

This is a very profound speech and I agree we should take more consideration of those little things for they are often more precious than we give notice. I'm very sorry for your loss, Mykalwane.

[Mykalwane]

The funeral was November 2. Just a bit forchant that it was on All Soul's Day Just had to gather everything that was said as well as pictures before this Wensday when family would come by. Saturday we are spreading his ashes. Figured I post it here since it is one of my things. Though thank you for commenting on it. Haven't heard a comment or a critique in quite awhile. Thought no one read this other then me.

[Mykalwane]

Aberantmon

Type: Virus
Class: Rookie
Attacks:

Sinister Slash
Slashes a dark energy in front of Aberrantmon that allows Aberrantmon to dive into before appearing out of the shadow of the enemy to slash with dagger claws enemies. Allowing it to attack before slipping back into the shadows.

Dodging Dance
Eyes glow brightly throwing the enemies' concentration off. Eyes piercing into the enemy throwing off an attack. To spin out of the way of an attack.

Conundrum Crush
Out of the silver on Aberrantmon's collar a dark energy shoots forth from. That confuses and disorients the enemy bring them down to their knees. Allowing for escape into the shadows.

Personality: Is quiet often a fixture in the background. Quiet is tough to trust, those it does will kill or die for. Is often feared because only red is noticeable. Allowing it to scare off enemies stronger then itself. Those thinking to attack, are defeated by their own attacks. Is very defensive and always thinking a fight is nearby. Regardless of the situation has a smile. Never showing true intent except to those who Aberrantmon trust. Even then, it is hidden behind a smile.

It needs a hug. A big, cuddly hug. Also, re-read your descriptions. They're quite the tongue twisters; the last sentence for the first three abilities are great short-versed descriptors.

[Matthias]

It needs a hug. A big, cuddly hug. Also, re-read your descriptions. They're quite the tongue twisters; the last sentence for the first three abilities are great short-versed descriptors.