i'm a mess of a human being

[lolin]

that's all thanks for coming to my ted talk

[Master of Vvardenfel]

[mention=619]Arya[/mention] clean up on aisle 3.

[Arya]

Dude, you are seriously not the only one.

Actually, you're doing a lot better than you think. We are always our most harshest critic.

[Arya]

[mention=619]Arya[/mention] clean up on aisle 3.

thought you said you'd do the cleaning.

[Master of Vvardenfel]

oh right.


[mention=417]Master of Vvardenfel[/mention] clean up on aisle 3.

[lolin]

Dude, you are seriously not the only one.

Actually, you're doing a lot better than you think. We are always our most harshest critic.

i rarely cook, i rarely clean, i feel depressed all the time, i need someone else to both drive me AND go outside with me, i'm basically in need of constant care

ergo: i'm a mess

[Master of Vvardenfel]

i rarely cook, i rarely clean, i feel depressed all the time, i need someone else to both drive me AND go outside with me, i'm basically in need of constant care

ergo: i'm a mess

none of those things make you a mess though?

Depression will fuck all of you at once and every day can be a struggle, but you keep on struggling right?

You get out there, you might need someone to drive you and go out with you, but you go out.

You might rarely cook or clean, but you DO cook and clean.

just because you need help doesn't make you a mess, everyone needs help from someone.

[lolin]

also i pronounce gif like jif

[lolin]

and you can look at it as just depression being a jerk to me, but i view me as a mess

most people in the world have some semblance of control over their lives and i feel like i have zero

the one thing i wanted to do recently i couldn't, i find out today

[Master of Vvardenfel]

also i pronounce gif like jif

oh.

oh.

my mistake

[Arya]

i rarely cook, i rarely clean, i feel depressed all the time, i need someone else to both drive me AND go outside with me, i'm basically in need of constant care

ergo: i'm a mess

MoV has a good point. And sometimes we think people have things together because they're good at keeping it concealed. But, we all have our battles and burdens we carry.

Would it help you if you knew that I rarely cook XD I actually dont enjoy cooking at all. If Im on my own its pretty much frozen cauliflower crust pizza every meal. And I clean because I get anxious if Im still too long, hence my crazy work habits, and I struggle with ptsd from a personal trauma that happened several years ago when I disappeared from AL. It hits me the worst at night. I still have really terrible nightmares. The first two years after it happened MoV would read to me every single night for hoooooooours until I literally passed out from exhaustion. I found one series of books specifically comforting (I dont know why...the series isnt that great XD). But he would finish the series and then literally open the first book and start reading the same series again. He can probably recite those books now. But it was the only way I could get my mind to shut off. Sometimes it still is.

Im not trying to dismiss your feelings or anything, I just want you to know, you're not alone, Lolin. And you have a support group of friends here if you need us. <3

[Arya]

also i pronounce gif like jif

I like jif but Peter Pan brand is my favorite. :awesome:

[Arya]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand fuck me, I've over shared again. This is my cue to go do homework. @@;;

[lolin]

but you don't let your personal trauma control you and you're accomplished and put together and doing well in life and all that jazz

i saw a post MoV said about him going back to school too and i know he's been put together for ages as well

idk, i feel at 30 i'm just way too delayed in way too many categories

[lolin]

sorry, i was attempting to distract myself with 3DS but it it did not work

maybe i'll just go to bed...

at 8:30 pm

...in the middle of summer

without the AC on