Star Journey

[Tera]

A bit about me: 40 years of age. Female. Residing in the UK. 

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[Complete work of fiction as I write the following journal]
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ONE

A lesson needed to be learned. Whether it was now, or in the future, I understood what needed to be done. The year right now doesn't even matter, as I look over the few people who sat in the cave- their faces marred by dirt and dejection. Somewhere deep inside, I wanted to scream- forlornly- into the humidity that simply snatched the air from my lungs. I could feel the dirt beneath my fingers as I felt the rough gravel irritate my skin. Even my heart was beating slowly, and slightly with an irregularity, but all I wanted, was to be done. This singular need to end things was all encompassing- stifling- a cry into the unknown to be released from the all-knowing planet that destroyed my people. A planet I hated more than life itself, yet all I could do was grab the dirt in frustration and toss it aside- as easy as we were discarded by this planet's raging ambitions. Even memories of my childhood on this twisted planet cannot override the horrors we were facing now as a species. 

As a scientist I had a dream once. But that dream disappeared, and was replaced by the stark reality of our situation. We were dying. We had nowhere to go. Even now the rage and sadness within me, twisted within an unending story of lost hope and eventual certain death. Still, as I looked at the few of us left in this cave, I had a small glimmer of hope. It really is such a small chance- this miracle- that I did not have the heart to give those who were left the hope they sought or craved. Thus, day by day, I would sit with others, and share the measly rations we had among us. We dared not venture outside, but there were times I would brave the dangers and slip out, unseen by the others. I would only go out at night, as the day time was literally something that could kill in all reality. At night, we had the other 'things' we had to deal with, but our fortifications have held up until now. Why we are dying, you ask? It is a long story. A story of stupidity amongst my people who believed in weapons of war. My expertise as a scientist didn't extend to anything magnificent either, and so, when our home- our planet- was ravaged by those 'things' - I did the logical thing and prepared for a potential outcome.

The problem I face now, is there is only 15 or so of us left. The last of our species. We were starving for lack of better words and water was running out. The world's natural resources were destroyed, along with whatever civilization we had in one massive attempt to create a weapon of such magnitude that it would subject the entire world to its mercy. Back then, it was us and them. We, the star bearers as some called us, and them- the natural inhabitants of this world. Whatever space faring secrets we had, were illuminated in a few pages that sat near me and nothing could have prepared me for this day. As my people have settled, we chose to live harmoniously amongst each other, but the natural inhabitants were violent beyond words. They were also clever, and quick to understand technology. It was then when the council of my people decided to create a specific weapon. It was to bring everlasting peace. It would destroy a fair amount of the natural inhabitants and the rest would see us as the chosen ones. The ones they should never anger- the ones they should never cross lest ill will befalls them. It was easy back then to think that way. 

Everywhere we all agreed. We needed peace as we were manifesting our dreams of a futuristic society. Simply now... I don't remember much. My mind has chosen to forget all known incidents that occurred after this weapon was created. What I do remember, is that two thirds of our planet was destroyed. Even as I look at the others, all I can say is that this cave was one of several designated safety zones in case something happened. The real problem is not so much the fact that two thirds of the planet was destroyed. We could have rebuilt. But as it stood, there were other creatures that were now becoming a menace to those of us who remained. 

I can smile lightly in remembrance, as there were some laughable moments. Those moments meant tracking and catching these creatures as they destroyed some of the city buildings. We still had some sort of 'military' as people call it these days. We didn't see ourselves that way, but there were those of us who were naturally suited to specific tasks. From a young age in our society, we would determine our natural abilities and what made us happiest. People could choose professions at any stage in their life as we all worked together in our society. Simply- we did not work with 'money' as inhabitants of this new future world term it. People lived more carefree than worked, and life was good. Any tasks were adequately allocated to those best suited for those tasks. If I did a comparison these days- the average citizen in our society, would spend 3 hours in a day on their given tasks, and enjoy the rest of that time with loved ones. It was a good way of life. No man, woman or child lacked anything in our society. We were equal and enjoyed whatever foods were available each season. It was the essence of what some people call a Utopian society. It was so perfect, that we didn't see the darkness creeping into our society before it was too late. 

However, once we settled on this planet, we thought: this is it. Our forever home. This planet was to be our old system's raging success. We could never return to our previous system, but we were determined to make something of this place- so failure was not an option. This was our eden, our one project that would mean we could colonize further star systems. This planet was meant as a way to mine some of the needed minerals. These days it is much more laughable that people do not think much of these minerals. But precious to us they were. 

In the end mining activity stopped once skirmishes and small wars started breaking out between our society and the natural inhabitants. They deliberately sought to sabotage what we were trying to build and simply take. The darkness I mentioned is something that not many of us choose to speak of. There were some among us who chose to adopt and cohabit with the natural inhabitants- something that was forbidden in our society as they were not as advanced as us. As a scientist, even I broke this rule. With regret. My punishment was to watch him die from a natural disease that ravaged this planet. His son followed not long after him. Not my child mind you, but I loved them both as if they were always mine. 

Such is life. It was never meant to be. 

In my grief to heal him- before he passed, I took up the mantle of scientist and learned what little I could about genetics. To this day I will always regret the consequences of my actions. 

I found a way to subdue the natural violent tendencies of the inhabitants of this world. Subdue being a strong word. But it is as close as I can explain in simple terms. How I came about these discoveries were the eventual outcome of the genetics that I tampered with in order to save the people I loved. However, I could not save them. Their faces - with the reassuring smiles they had for me, before death took them- I will never forget. To this day, the emotions I feel for them will never truly leave me. 

I best turn my thoughts to my discoveries, lest I despair in utter regret for hours on end. I cannot risk losing the last bit of liquid I have left in this old and broken body. 

Going back to my discoveries. There were some animals of this world that some traits worth harvesting and it was through these experimentations that I found ways of taking these genetics a step further. In my family's case- jackal DNA was used to help prolong their life, but it could not get rid of this foreign disease introduced by the creatures of this planet. The side effect of some animal traits, had the tendency to produce unpredictable side effects. These side effects meant some racial traits were more prevalent than others- like the tendency to be violent and be more susceptible to suggestion. Ultimately, the council needed these inhabitants to be more docile. As we discovered, it did not work. As such, any experimentation I undertook did not gain traction with the council, and instead, they were enamoured with understanding how  to live a longer life. 

Needless to say, snakes formed a massive part of those experimentations. They had unique abilities that fascinated our society. Especially the snakes in the deserts. They were uncommonly resilient and prone to surviving in harsh conditions. The problems started when we enlisted local inhabitants to catch these snakes. They did not understand what we intended or did with them, and I believe stories made them question what was going on behind the scenes. To this day, I should have seen the darkness, but I did not see it myself. As a scientist I was unbelievably stupid. Naïve. Our society was not prone to superstition or violence like they were. Therefore, by the time the skirmishes broke out, it had become clear that they thought that we 'worshipped' some of the animals we chose to study. Some others felt that we did terrible things, and this fuelled their suspicion to points that caused a lot of inhabitants to be frightened. 

Our council, this time, decided to convene and started asking questions on how we could stop the skirmishes and the superstitious stories from frightening people to the point where they were willing to believe and kill. 

It was then that we decided to 'let them believe.' If the only way we could control them was through superstition, then we chose at that point to 'play a game.' It was a game that would eventually be our undoing. 

Thus, the first Gods of this planet was born. 

For a while, once we fuelled their imagination with stories that were untrue, we could continue our experiments in peace. However, the darkness amassed to degrees unprecedented in our planet's existence. There were those who saw themselves as elders within the natural inhabitant's tribes. Some were sceptical and some fell in line with what we envisioned. Eventually a divide happened between the tribes, and even within our society. Some felt it was wrong to mislead them, and others felt it was the only way to keep them in line. 

Some of the worst consequences happened as result of some decisions- including participating in ritualistic practices of these tribes to appease their people. We should have stopped it then, but we did not. We felt we had complete control. How ignorant we were as the 'higher society.' 

Since snakes were often caught, we spun a story of the snake's unique properties that helped us. There was no way to describe to these primitive people, what genetics were and how it helped to prolong life. Still, we should have stopped then. 

The actions that followed from there on out, meant it destroyed a large portion of the planet and thus, had no way of protecting ourselves against these creatures. These creatures were always here. Just not really a menace to us as our society was well protected. However, the weapon destroyed a large portion of what we built. We did not expect how powerful this weapon could be and did not account for the damage it could potentially cause. As we tried to rebuild, these creatures slowly invaded and wreaked havoc. We were ill equipped to fight on two fronts- the natural inhabitants and these creatures. 

All in all, it took less than 10 years from the destruction day, to where I am sitting now. We have all but died out, and whatever natural inhabitants were left, fled to natural caves of this world. As of late, the extreme temperatures of this planet made things hard for us. 

However, such is life. We do what we can.

Even as I watch the others who were breathing with a heaviness that meant they were close to death, all I could do is look down at this new contraption that I have built. This is supposed to be the one thing that can save the last of us. The last few survivors of our civilization. 

Even as I look down at this device, I knew it was now or never. I could feel an internal tremble. I was really scared. Scared that this is it. That we do not make it. 

Perhaps if I grasp this... and twist this... ah! Better. The two waveforms are overlapping. Perhaps...just perhaps... we can escape to a distant planet. Perhaps....just perhaps... we can start anew. Perhaps...just perhaps...we can learn from our mistakes. Perhaps, just perhaps... we will never tamper with things that were not meant to be. Perhaps then, and only then, we can evolve as one.
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The end.
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[Tera]

TWO
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Removed by myself

[Ferefire]

Very good. Is this fiction/visions/dreams, or memories from a previous life?

[Tera]

Memories of a previous life. Part of it. Have you ever had dreams that made you wonder, 'what the heck?'

How is the conventions going as of late? The last time I was at one of your conventions, was back in 2015 or 2016 I think it was. The best part for me was the Ballroom experience. I mean, I know the last two years couldn't have been easy, but I read your post for the upcoming expansion in 2022. Sounds fun. To be fair, I like the London experience better than the Leeds event. I actually had to stop and look there for a minute, as I know the city started with 'Le' but wasn't sure if it was Leeds or Leicester. It was a very long time ago.

[Tera]

THREE - 25 Nov 21
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removed by myself

[Tera]

Four
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removed by myself

[Tera]

Five
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Removed by myself

 

[Ryuuko]

I think it would depend on the human. Just as it was with your previous flat mate a common understanding and respect for each other was born. It’d be the same with a pine cone if it had a conscious.

It’s wonderful to enjoy a thoughtful gift no matter what day of the year it is.

I don’t believe Holidays are special days of the year and typically don’t celebrate them. Everyday you are alive and interacting with things and life are all unique and alluring in themselves. Why aren’t those days special too? More specifically why not celebrate every day of the year?

[Tera]

Removed by myself

[Ryuuko]

I should tell you if you don’t know already I’m Lord Myne too.

[Tera]

Removed by myself

[Tera]

Removed by myself

[Tera]

I was thinking about relationships, and people. I find it is like this: I don't exclude any race when it comes to being interested, but found that I have been spoiled for the choice the last 5 years, where I had one of the best friendships in life. This person showed me how important it is to want at least 60-70% of the same hobbies as the other person. In that sense, not only do you share lazy days together, or days where you both explore the countryside and places, it means that you understand when to give each other space. I looked at this friend and the fact that he studied A.I. at university spoke volumes on why we were such good friends. We rarely talked about technology on any level that was deep, but we had a clear understanding of technology and the shortcomings of the human race. Sitting down to discuss that was in many parts really interesting. This friend is dating a transgender individual, which I feel is something amazing as they both connected on a level that I was hoping he would find. I always wanted the best for their lives, and to see them meeting someone who matched their interests more like 90% of the time, made me really happy. Over the years, I had voiced it several times that I wanted to see them happy with someone who understood 3D applications more and could help them with their future endeavors. You see, I am an ambitious individual with hundreds of great ideas when it comes to businesses. However, I find I always manage to inspire people with those ideas to take it to the next level. With him, it was no exception. I introduced him to Unity3D and he is now well on his way to coding a VR game to completion. 

Even, if I don't have a mind for complicated systems, or coding, I have the unique ability to draw the best out of others and inspire them to undertake an adventure in life and try something. It is the best I can hope for them. 

There has been moments, where I thought about being a coach of some sorts. But whenever I look at books related to coaching, or courses like the NLP etc. I always find I am 'not interested.' The fact is, if you have lived life and done a lot in life, you will have the natural ability to offer someone something unique. For me, I love teaching through stories of my own experiences. As I said, it is not about wanting sympathy, but more about sharing a story to show something unique- a perspective someone may never have considered. 

As for the questions I answered on that dating site, after I signed up, here were some of the answers I provided (based on answers like this, I can guarantee that 99% of people will go - 'naw!' and run the other way. That is 'exactly' what I want):

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Personal Quote:

An ideal person will be someone who strives for something in their own life. They need to love themselves and have their own ambition, without forcing those same attributes on others. Someone who thinks for themselves without being led by family or friends is very attractive to me. I do not appreciate the type of person who gets easily influenced by other people or media, and would enjoy someone who loves anime/ games/ computers/ VR.
 
The most important thing I am looking for in a person…

Is someone who wants to live life, without being the type who is always on the go. The right person will understand the duality of nature and people’s habits, and will take into consideration themselves, and how their actions influence other people’s behaviours. Hopefully, someone who has lived their own life to some degree and learned through those experiences in life, to become a better individual in the long run.

Something that always makes me laugh…

Is witty and challenging lyrics in songs, or someone who is an aspiring author and has a flair for writing witty comments. Aspiring’ can mean, the intention is there in life, but not that you necessarily need to be one, or overly enjoy it on a daily basis. Plainly put, someone who isn’t afraid to read something that is longer than a paragraph.

A perfect day for me…

Is spending time with someone I love, but also, understanding when to give space to do the things when we need to. I am not that active in life, and sometimes, will try experiences once, just to say, I have done it. In that sense, I do have an adventurous soul, but understand my own body’s limitations. I don’t like forcing myself into situations where I know I will end up doing more harm to my body than what is good.

If I am in a bad mood…

I like my space. You can ‘attempt’ to placate me, but usually I am considered a sulky lion who would bare its teeth in warning when I am in a bad mood. It doesn’t happen often, as I do not go out of way to be in confrontation with people, but if people cross me, I am not opposed to roaring like the King of Africa I am, and letting people know who is boss. Similarly, I am pretty laid back and lazy usually.

I need advice, I’m calling…

Myself. I have had amazing and terrible experiences in life, from being on the street, to experiencing some unforgettable moments- all with the aid of having almost no money in life. You could say I allow the universe to guide me on a path that is correct for the person I am in life.

I spend my free time…

Surfing the internet, listening to music like EXO, NCT, WayV, SuperM, Super Junior, Lay Zhang, DJ Zardonic, Celldweller, Cyberpunk/Electro music, Two Steps from Hell, classical music on occasion, alternative and metal etc. I create digital art pieces when I am in the mood to create, which isn’t often, and enjoy watching Korean dramas, anime and movies (sci-fi/fantasy/action/dancing/romance/adventure/cartoon/kids-disney etc.) I take landscape photographs now and again as a hobby.

The first thing people notice about me…

Is my independence and spirit. I am a loving individual, and get on famously with people who share some hobbies of mine, but do not get on with people who pick fault at little things in life. They get on my bad side, and a relationship like that means it will end in tears- which won’t be mine. I am a very intuitive person and love thinking about a lot of things in life, but do not have intellectual conversations on an academic level, as it can be too disheartening.

I would describe my appearance like this…

I am a plus sized individual who enjoys good food and can cook, but don’t go out of my way to make extravagant meals. My body type can be described as big, similar to Tess Holliday (plus sized model).
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When you see something like this, it is usually a good indication the person in question (me), is very clued up about relationships and experiences. Those are not just pretty words, but me talking from experiences in life. As for ages, I do not think I have ever been bothered with people younger than me. I dated someone in their early twenties, when I was in my early thirties, so, I think for me it comes down to the person's outlook in life, and how they view the world. That is all there is to it.

As for other personality indicators on that site, I did laugh when it said I was a lot more masculine in nature. I have always known that as a child. While, I am a woman, my mind is very masculine and my actions mean that if I put my foot down with someone, they will know.



 

[Tera]

Removed by myself

 

[Tera]

Probably Seven or something- lost count.
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Removed by myself