"We should duel sometime." - Joey Wheeler (Emotive's ALJ)

[GraceMellody]

Oh ok. By the way, did you ever finish schooling?

Regrettably, I didn't. For many reasons... I just kind of fell through the cracks, plus nobody wanted me at the school I was going to, according to the principal at the time.

thats so cruel to say

Thought I'd reply in here.

Actually, her exact words were that I "wasn't welcome here" at the school, but to me it's what it felt like after hearing that. I'm guessing the principal was a woman because that's what mom told me. If she'd told me at the time I really would've come apart, my misanthropy was bad enough back then without hearing that, so she told me in my adult life. That really seems like something a principal just shouldn't say, no matter how difficult a student is. I mean, I thought they were held to a higher standard.

That's just as bad though... I hope you don't let it bother you now

[Emotive]

thats so cruel to say

Thought I'd reply in here.

Actually, her exact words were that I "wasn't welcome here" at the school, but to me it's what it felt like after hearing that. I'm guessing the principal was a woman because that's what mom told me. If she'd told me at the time I really would've come apart, my misanthropy was bad enough back then without hearing that, so she told me in my adult life. That really seems like something a principal just shouldn't say, no matter how difficult a student is. I mean, I thought they were held to a higher standard.

That's just as bad though... I hope you don't let it bother you now

It is, but it's something I can't go back and change, so I try to not let it bother me these days. Thankfully my misanthropy isn't out of control like it was back then though, just really paranoid, but honestly I don't really think about it until I hear about someone intentionally giving up school. Like, if I'd paid more attention to school I bet I would've had a lot more options these days. But, if the spectrum of autism really is something that I have, then it probably would've taken more than Special Ed, which is what I had, but I was young and angry, always getting confrontational because I felt different. God, I was such an angry kid. Even before I started standing up for myself. Which they really frowned on too. I mean... was I supposed to just take it and not react? Damn.

[Emotive]

It sounds frustrating I'm glad you were able to work it out to a point where it doesn't bother you now though.

Thanks. I am too. I'm trying to not let my past become toxic in my current life. I don't think it does, but I'm also more oblivious than most.

[Emotive]

I'll be heading out with mom to run errands today though, and we most likely won't be back for probably 3 or 4 hours. We're leaving soon, like maybe in 45 minutes or so.

[Emotive]

Hope that went well how are you today?

It did. We were hoping to get some taffy, but we'll have to try to get some today because last night they were closed. We'll try to get out today again though, so we'll be able to get some taffy today though. Speaking of, I found out taht Fire Cinnamon is evidently way too hot for my taste buds to handle with taffy. lol I mean, I had to take drinks whenever I found out my mouth felt like it was on fire. xD So, I'm not getting that flavor ever again. But there were others, even Birthday Cake flavored! I think that one was one one of my favorite flavores.

Today though, I'm really tired right now because I didn't really get any sleep. But, the mental situation is still mind, so I think I'll be ok.

Have you gotten vaccinated yet? I've heard on the news there's talk of a possible 2nd booster shot, which mean 4 total. Those vaccine shots were surprisingly painful, but only temporary, so it was all good. We've all 3 got our 2 initial shots though, just need the boosters.

[Emotive]

Birthday cake sounds yummy purr. Yes I am but not the boosters yet. Glad it was overall a fun day hope you'll be able to rest soon.

I hope so too. I'm actually going to try again though in a few. Wish me luck!

[Emotive]

Always! Good luck Emotive

Thanks! Luckily I was able to actually get to sleep. Just woke up.

[Emotive]

Good morning then!

Good morning to you too. lol Well, kind of delayed though. Sorry.

[Emotive]

That's quite all right. Hope the day will treat you well!

It has, and I had a sharp mental decline for a short while but I've gotten over it so for now things are ok again. It's frustrating how the days can be erratic and hard to predict like that though.

[Emotive]

I knew I liked "Understand" by Combichrist for a reason. I kind of let myself go for a very short while, but longer than anyone is probably used to seeing or hearing me do. Then that song came on.

The opening lyrics almost instantly calmed me down:

"Today is not the right day to fall apart
Pick up the pieces, walk out of the dark
It won't discriminate
It will swallow you whole"

I'm glad I have the option to listen to that song. Otherwise I would've kept chasing the rabbit of anger, and probably not ended up in a good place. So, I'm still trying to calm down more, but this song really stopped me in my tracks, because the darkness will absolutely swallow someone whole, without hesitation and without any remorse that darkness is not my friend. It would lead to all kinds of wrong choices, and today truly is NOT the right day to fall apart. So, I just need to calm myself down. I've got it on loop right now though. So, I'll be ok. Just a little hiccup.

[Emotive]

I'll be staying up all night playing Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage to get the Platinum Trophy. I've completed all of Kenshiro's Meridian Chart, so finishing his Legend Mode won't be difficult. I've set it to normal on the difficulty though out of the 3 options of Easy, Normal, Hard, and I remember Hard was really too lengthy, but Normal should be quick enough to where I'm not taking forever in Toki's, Kenshiro's, or Raoh's Legend modes and Dream modes.

But, after chugging a bottle of energy drink I'm still tired enough that I might be able to sleep. So I guess we'll see if I can sleep or not.

[Ivory]

*pops in and waves at Emotive*

I love your recent sig/avi set btw! Wolfs Rain is a great anime. :3

Did you end up getting some sleep btw?

[Emotive]

*pops in and waves at Emotive*

I love your recent sig/avi set btw! Wolfs Rain is a great anime. :3

Did you end up getting some sleep btw?

Hey. I think I've talked to you before at some point too. Unfortunately though my memory has only gotten worse though, so I'm not actually sure what it was that we talked about the last time we did talk, but it's really good to hear from you again.

And thanks! It's one of my all-time favorite animes. It's managed to capture how the wolves can have a supernatural theme to them sometimes. I've always loved wolves, so when I first saw this anime I dropped everything else when it first came on tv. lol But the ending is really sad though. It makes me choke up every time. There's more depth to the ending than I thought though but when watching it it's hard to think about anything other than what the last episode shows, but omg the ending really does make me cry every time.

I did actually eventually get some sleep. I just got woken up by someone slamming things around, probably intentionally getting me to wake up before I got enough sleep though, it'd fall in line with all the other things he's been putting me through. But, it's really not worth me getting all angry over, so I've calmed down... substantially... and I'm just enjoying my games atm. If I get tired enough though I do plan on going back to sleep, unless a certain guy wakes me up again by slamming things around. Thanks for asking though.

It's so nice to hear from you again though! How have you been? * BEARHUGZ *

[Ivory]

*pops in and waves at Emotive*

I love your recent sig/avi set btw! Wolfs Rain is a great anime. :3

Did you end up getting some sleep btw?

Hey. I think I've talked to you before at some point too. Unfortunately though my memory has only gotten worse though, so I'm not actually sure what it was that we talked about the last time we did talk, but it's really good to hear from you again.

And thanks! It's one of my all-time favorite animes. It's managed to capture how the wolves can have a supernatural theme to them sometimes. I've always loved wolves, so when I first saw this anime I dropped everything else when it first came on tv. lol But the ending is really sad though. It makes me choke up every time. There's more depth to the ending than I thought though but when watching it it's hard to think about anything other than what the last episode shows, but omg the ending really does make me cry every time.

I did actually eventually get some sleep. I just got woken up by someone slamming things around, probably intentionally getting me to wake up before I got enough sleep though, it'd fall in line with all the other things he's been putting me through. But, it's really not worth me getting all angry over, so I've calmed down... substantially... and I'm just enjoying my games atm. If I get tired enough though I do plan on going back to sleep, unless a certain guy wakes me up again by slamming things around. Thanks for asking though.

It's so nice to hear from you again though! How have you been? * BEARHUGZ *

*squeaks as she hugs him back*

It's alright, my memory isn't the best at times either. xD I'm sure we have talked randomly in the past but I couldn't tell you about what. >.<

I've seen the first few episodes of it but I really need to go back and watch the whole thing, wolves are one of my favorite animals too second only to snow leopards. :3 I love anything that has to do with supernatural and wolves, vampires etc.

You should tell the guy slamming stuff around to knock it off :< Which game are you playing first?

[Emotive]

*pops in and waves at Emotive*

I love your recent sig/avi set btw! Wolfs Rain is a great anime. :3

Did you end up getting some sleep btw?

Hey. I think I've talked to you before at some point too. Unfortunately though my memory has only gotten worse though, so I'm not actually sure what it was that we talked about the last time we did talk, but it's really good to hear from you again.

And thanks! It's one of my all-time favorite animes. It's managed to capture how the wolves can have a supernatural theme to them sometimes. I've always loved wolves, so when I first saw this anime I dropped everything else when it first came on tv. lol But the ending is really sad though. It makes me choke up every time. There's more depth to the ending than I thought though but when watching it it's hard to think about anything other than what the last episode shows, but omg the ending really does make me cry every time.

I did actually eventually get some sleep. I just got woken up by someone slamming things around, probably intentionally getting me to wake up before I got enough sleep though, it'd fall in line with all the other things he's been putting me through. But, it's really not worth me getting all angry over, so I've calmed down... substantially... and I'm just enjoying my games atm. If I get tired enough though I do plan on going back to sleep, unless a certain guy wakes me up again by slamming things around. Thanks for asking though.

It's so nice to hear from you again though! How have you been? * BEARHUGZ *

*squeaks as she hugs him back*

It's alright, my memory isn't the best at times either. xD I'm sure we have talked randomly in the past but I couldn't tell you about what. >.<

I've seen the first few episodes of it but I really need to go back and watch the whole thing, wolves are one of my favorite animals too second only to snow leopards. :3 I love anything that has to do with supernatural and wolves, vampires etc.

You should tell the guy slamming stuff around to knock it off :< Which game are you playing first?

That's a relief. lol It might sound strange, but when someone else has a difficult time remembering it eases my insecurities about my own memory not working.

It's awesome when someone else has the wolf as their favorite animal. Werewolves though, they scare me on a primal level. I don't know what it is, but they're just incredibly horrifying. I still love werewolf movies though. lol The first one to scare the crap of me as a kid was An American Werewolf in Paris. I love that Stingray mix of "Mouth" by the band "Bush" too. I've loved it since that day too, along with some of Bush's other songs.

It really gets interesting when it picks up. They meet a lot of people along the way that are interesting, including another wolf pack. Although they're more dispirited than Kiba, Tsume, Hige and Toboe. But it's for a good reason, it's just surprising how serious it is and yet has its funny moments, like when Hige always seems like he's hungry. lol

Well, I was playing Xenoverse 2 for a while on my Switch, but there's been a mental decline, so, I'm playing my go to game to vent: Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage. I'm just blaring my Korn playlist as I play too. It's a good fit to the gameplay.