Thank you so much lolin
It does make me feel worried if my work is going to be affected. I seem to be getting by but what I dont really want is questions being raised about whether my day job is right for me. Well... if Im being honest that has already happened in the past but thats besides the point. But what Im saying is that say it turns out that I am on the spectrum and people find out, I dont really want people to say something like "Oh, you probably shouldnt be doing this". They might put one and one together and think that oh, I actually carry out my job somewhat unconventionally and I have my own style in doing things it must be because I am on the spectrum (for reference I am a teaching assistant)
I should also probably mention why I decided to go ahead with a diagnosis and what were the signs that made me think I could be on the spectrum. I will point out this is all based off my own research and comparing some of my autistic brother's behaviours to mine (I will acknowledge that we are not the exact same).
1) I have always struggled with face to face conversations and make irl friends. The general social aspect of things I've always struggled with. I have found that I can feel empathy for someone but I struggle to put it into words. Certain jokes I also struggle to understand, especially if they don't sound like jokes- usually sarcastic jokes or if someone was to say something insulting but in a joking way (apparently that counts as a joke now
2) I feel like I have some sensory issues (?) especially with sound and touch. Im very picky with food textures and I have my own safe foods and textures. If a food is not a safe texture for me then I will not try it. Where things get complicated is that I love strong flavours- I love things super spicy or sour etc so with things like curry I make an exception for, I just dont eat all of the sauce, I pick out the meats and use something else to scoop the sauce out like a naan bread or whatever.
3) Not really essential but some people on the spectrum have certain stims. Apparently hair twirling counts as a stim so theres that, who knew. I also tend to pick at my fingernails and bite them.
I could go on and on but I dont want to make this too long but those were some of the signs I picked up.