Hey! Its me, Lauren. Crazy cat lass strikes back

[LilMissLarBear]

Looks like I won't be getting a cookie sadness

*Sends cookie*

I mean... I will accept cookie donations but I was referring to the fact that im last in my survivor bracket, sadness. Theres always next time

[Ojisama]

Looks like I won't be getting a cookie sadness

*Sends cookie*

I mean... I will accept cookie donations but I was referring to the fact that im last in my survivor bracket, sadness. Theres always next time

I know. That's why I sent a sympathy cookie.

[LilMissLarBear]

*Sends cookie*

I mean... I will accept cookie donations but I was referring to the fact that im last in my survivor bracket, sadness. Theres always next time

I know. That's why I sent a sympathy cookie.

Oh! Well thank you *noms cookie*

[LilMissLarBear]

I'm so tired literally all it is now is wake up early, work, study and sleep. Barely any free time to do fun stuff :/

[UnmeiNoTenshi]

I'm pretty much the same just without the study

[LilMissLarBear]

I'm pretty much the same just without the study

Make sure you take it easy whenever you are not working! I know I, for sure, am guilty of taking on too many things. Much more than I can manage at times. I need to learn to actually rest when I'm not supposed to be working/studying. I blame the hustle culture :/ putting in more than you need to- it's not sustainable or healthy for folk

[Tuffin]

I hear that
I always find it hard to relax because I feel like I should be busy
Hustle culture really sucks : /

[LilMissLarBear]

I get really ratty too when I get stressed and stuff and barely anyone understands that. It becomes a visious cycle because I need the money but then I want the time off . Sadness

[richardallen1976]

I'm just busy, I had 2 MS Teams meetings for work last week, and I've got 2 more tomorrow and Thursday both at 15.00.

I'm not knocking it though, I get paid for attending MS Teams meeting for work at £15 an hour and as of the end of last week I've worked 3 and half hours this month already.

[LilMissLarBear]

That's my two extra days done! Now for the rest of the scheduled week Many science lessons were had which can't complain, love science, but 9/10 science is quite excessive lol and to top it off 3/5 of my lessons tomorrow are science XD oh god...

[LilMissLarBear]

Honestly don't think I can do today, lads

[LilMissLarBear]

Two days left tomorrow until my week off already! surprisingly keeping up with everything so far and everything seems to be looking good Feel quite tired today and i didnt want to do any studying but I managed to get it done anyway. Now I have time to chill out with some Disney Dreamlight valley once it finishes updating

[LilMissLarBear]

So my week and a bit off has been alright while it lasted XD I'm looking into getting a autism referral which answering all the questions and stuff hasn't been that if I'm honest. It does kinda make you feel that you should behave a certain type of way and if not then you could have a label stuck in you, not usually to suggest that something is wrong with you but you always get that one person that will view it that way....

More recently things have been on the forefront of my mind of how, assuming I am on the spectrum, it has affected me all this time which seems a bit off putting. I am aware it I'd not helping but I have been struggling to refrain from having that mindset

[lolin]

getting a correct diagnosis and learning where to go from there is like 50% of the battle with mental health

i wish you luck :>

[LilMissLarBear]

Thank you so much lolin  It does make me feel worried if my work is going to be affected. I seem to be getting by but what I dont really want is questions being raised about whether my day job is right for me. Well... if Im being honest that has already happened in the past but thats besides the point. But what Im saying is that say it turns out that I am on the spectrum and people find out, I dont really want people to say something like "Oh, you probably shouldnt be doing this". They might put one and one together and think that oh, I actually carry out my job somewhat unconventionally and I have my own style in doing things it must be because I am on the spectrum (for reference I am a teaching assistant) 

I should also probably mention why I decided to go ahead with a diagnosis and what were the signs that made me think I could be on the spectrum. I will point out this is all based off my own research and comparing some of my autistic brother's behaviours to mine (I will acknowledge that we are not the exact same). 

1) I have always struggled with face to face conversations and make irl friends. The general social aspect of things I've always struggled with. I have found that I can feel empathy for someone but I struggle to put it into words. Certain jokes I also struggle to understand, especially if they don't sound like jokes- usually sarcastic jokes or if someone was to say something insulting but in a joking way (apparently that counts as a joke now   )

2) I feel like I have some sensory issues (?) especially with sound and touch. Im very picky with food textures and I have my own safe foods and textures. If a food is not a safe texture for me then I will not try it. Where things get complicated is that I love strong flavours- I love things super spicy or sour etc so with things like curry I make an exception for, I just dont eat all of the sauce, I pick out the meats and use something else to scoop the sauce out like a naan bread or whatever. 

3) Not really essential but some people on the spectrum have certain stims. Apparently hair twirling counts as a stim so theres that, who knew. I also tend to pick at my fingernails and bite them.

I could go on and on but I dont want to make this too long but those were some of the signs I picked up.