Bad Joke Journal.

Where you can keep a diary of your life. Only one topic per member, please!

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Shounen-Recycled
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Post by Shounen-Recycled » 26 Jun 2022, 22:10

What’s green and has wheels? Grass....I lied about the wheels
ImageCHEESY PASTA....LETS GO

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Ojisama
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Post by Ojisama » 26 Jun 2022, 23:12

Shounen-Recycled wrote:
06 Aug 2020, 10:35
What do you call a man with 50 rabbits up his bottom?......Warren......

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff.
To those just starting on the journey of life I say...
Bang your own drum. Walk your own path. Live wildly. Love fiercely. 
As you near the end, look back with no regrets.

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UnmeiNoTenshi
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Post by UnmeiNoTenshi » 27 Jun 2022, 00:55

I used to be addicted to soap

I'm clean now
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PharaohAtem
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Post by PharaohAtem » 27 Jun 2022, 01:08

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
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Ojisama
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Post by Ojisama » 27 Jun 2022, 09:55

Why did the cabbage go to the film studio?

Because he wanted to star in a Cubby Broccoli film.
To those just starting on the journey of life I say...
Bang your own drum. Walk your own path. Live wildly. Love fiercely. 
As you near the end, look back with no regrets.

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weeabooweegee
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Post by weeabooweegee » 27 Jun 2022, 14:08

Shounen-Recycled wrote:
26 Jun 2022, 22:10
What’s green and has wheels? Grass....I lied about the wheels
Hahaha hahaha!
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Shounen-Recycled
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Post by Shounen-Recycled » 27 Jun 2022, 16:55

My wife kicked me out the house because of my Bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions......Don’t worry, I’ll return
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Shounen-Recycled
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Post by Shounen-Recycled » 28 Jun 2022, 22:02

I was digging in my Garden and found a chest full of Gold coins. I was so excited I wanted to run straight back in and tell my wife....but then I remembered why I was digging in my Garden
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Shounen-Recycled
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Post by Shounen-Recycled » 02 Jul 2022, 22:27

Just been diagnosed with the peek a boo virus. I got sent straight to the ICU
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Shounen-Recycled
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Post by Shounen-Recycled » 05 Jul 2022, 18:06

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you are prepared for the reaper cushions
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Shounen-Recycled
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Post by Shounen-Recycled » 09 Jul 2022, 08:37

Not to brag but I beat the local chess Champion in 5 moves.....I knew those Karate lessons were a good idea.
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Shounen-Recycled
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Post by Shounen-Recycled » 15 Jul 2022, 20:44

What sits in a tree and goes “Aaaaahhhhhhh”?
An Owl with a speech impediment.
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Shounen-Recycled
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Post by Shounen-Recycled » 08 Aug 2022, 07:59

I was at my mums house and she asked me if I had seen the Dog Bowl? I said i had no idea he did.
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Ojisama
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Post by Ojisama » 09 Mar 2023, 23:23

What's covered in gravy and swings through the streets of New York?

Pie-der-man
To those just starting on the journey of life I say...
Bang your own drum. Walk your own path. Live wildly. Love fiercely. 
As you near the end, look back with no regrets.

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Rich-Allen1976
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Post by Rich-Allen1976 » 15 Jun 2023, 07:11

Ojisama wrote:
09 Mar 2023, 23:23
What's covered in gravy and swings through the streets of New York?

Pie-der-man

Good job you're retired, with jokes like that you'd starve on the comedy circuit mate! :D

2 pieces of string went into a Bar, one says "Pint please", and then the other one asks, the Barman asks, "Are you a piece of string?", the other string says "No I'm afraid not" (A frayed knot) :D

A man in Yorkshire goes to a Jeweller's and asks for a Gold statue of his dog, the Jeweller asks "Does tha want it 18 Carat?" the man says "No I want it chewin' a bone" :D
"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" (Michael Palin in Monty Python's "Life of Brian")
"I am speaking UK English in a Sheffield accent!" (Me most of the time I'm on the landline or mobile)





 

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