Recovery of a Mousy She-wolf

Wolvenessence · Post by **Wolvenessence** » 26 Jul 2020, 13:01

@Ikkle Gemz
Yes true and thank you for your support, I appreciate it~ ( ^,.,^ )

@Akane Mayu
Thank you as well your very kind, I appreciate it and you showing me support as well~ ( ^,.,^ )

Wolvenessence · Post by **Wolvenessence** » 26 Jul 2020, 14:46

July 26, 2020 Entry 03 |

A few things have been going on with me as of late. My anxiety once again slightly on and off has been bothering me once more. Right now it's not letting me focus too much on things I want to get done if needed to be done, or enjoy watching things, even do passions of mine I love not and forgetting researching / studying things as well. Well like many others out there with Mental Health they also go through this which I wish Mental Health wasn't a thing at all in this world and no one would have to suffer. However it is and just part of life for everyone. For those who have Mental Health try YOUR best to stay strong and take each day one day at a time and do your best YOU can. That's all I can say for now from advice or encouragement, apologies.

I'm still however in VERY high spirits though and doing very well with my mood it's just my anxiety here and there that pops up and gets to me. I won't however let it win and do my best to get things done and do the stuff I love. Though not pushing myself in a bad way but just a bit to get back at things and on track once more. Starting monday I'm going do more things I've been slacking a lot at. So hopefully or I know it will boost myself to be proud, feeling accomplished a lot and productive even more as of late I've been feeling.

I'll leave my entry as this, so till next time if anyone reads my journal.

weeabooweegee · Post by **weeabooweegee** » 26 Jul 2020, 20:34

Wolvenessence wrote: ↑
26 Jul 2020, 14:46
July 26, 2020 Entry 03 |

A few things have been going on with me as of late. My anxiety once again slightly on and off has been bothering me once more. Right now it's not letting me focus too much on things I want to get done if needed to be done, or enjoy watching things, even do passions of mine I love not and forgetting researching / studying things as well. Well like many others out there with Mental Health they also go through this which I wish Mental Health wasn't a thing at all in this world and no one would have to suffer. However it is and just part of life for everyone. For those who have Mental Health try YOUR best to stay strong and take each day one day at a time and do your best YOU can. That's all I can say for now from advice or encouragement, apologies.

I'm still however in VERY high spirits though and doing very well with my mood it's just my anxiety here and there that pops up and gets to me. I won't however let it win and do my best to get things done and do the stuff I love. Though not pushing myself in a bad way but just a bit to get back at things and on track once more. Starting monday I'm going do more things I've been slacking a lot at. So hopefully or I know it will boost myself to be proud, feeling accomplished a lot and productive even more as of late I've been feeling.

I'll leave my entry as this, so till next time if anyone reads my journal.

That's a really important life lesson. I have anxiety too and sometimes it feels too much, but I feel it's inportant to stay positive and remember the good things in your life. It's great that your staying positive and not letting your anxiety get the better of you!

Wolvenessence · Post by **Wolvenessence** » 26 Jul 2020, 20:38

@weabooweegee
Thank you for your reply and support, I appreciate it. I'm a more positive and optimistic person now and won't ever stop fighting to succeed to find my inner peace and happiness.

Akane Mayu · Post by **Akane Mayu** » 26 Jul 2020, 21:19

i have anxiaty also and ill always support u and im glad that ur staying possitive =]

Wolvenessence · Post by **Wolvenessence** » 26 Jul 2020, 22:15

Thank you for the support as everyone else on here as well. Anxiety dose suck, though it's not my only mental health issue I have. I'm not sure how I stay so strong as people tell me I do. They also say "Wow you've came so far and accomplished so much!" I've been through... so many things, so much very beyond words terrible stuff with minor things as us humans go through in life. However I still somehow manage to stay strong , positve , optimistic and fight each day even though in reality I'm in so much tremendous pain though you can't see it on the surface. I vowed to myself no more and will show them all who've wronged and hurt severely me I am strong, beautiful and worth something. That I'm not nothing, a doormat nor trash. It took me many years to finally say no enough. So right now 3 and a half years of changing myself on my journey I'm happy I made that choice to live life and not give up and let them win. I'm no longer a survivor but thriveor.

Akane Mayu · Post by **Akane Mayu** » 26 Jul 2020, 22:55

Wolvenessence wrote: ↑
26 Jul 2020, 22:15
Thank you for the support as everyone else on here as well. Anxiety dose suck, though it's not my only mental health issue I have. I'm not sure how I stay so strong as people tell me I do. They also say "Wow you've came so far and accomplished so much!" I've been through... so many things, so much very beyond words terrible stuff with minor things as us humans go through in life. However I still somehow manage to stay strong , positve , optimistic and fight each day even though in reality I'm in so much tremendous pain though you can't see it on the surface. I vowed to myself no more and will show them all who've wronged and hurt severely me I am strong, beautiful and worth something. That I'm not nothing, a doormat nor trash. It took me many years to finally say no enough. So right now 3 and a half years of changing myself on my journey I'm happy I made that choice to live life and not give up and let them win. I'm no longer a survivor but thriveor.

im proud to see you doing good and possitive ^_^

Wolvenessence · Post by **Wolvenessence** » 27 Jul 2020, 11:25

@Akane Mayu
Thank you for your support, I appreciate it~

Akane Mayu · Post by **Akane Mayu** » 27 Jul 2020, 22:43

Wolvenessence wrote: ↑
27 Jul 2020, 11:25
@Akane Mayu
Thank you for your support, I appreciate it~

your wellcome

and i like ur new avatar pic =]

Wolvenessence · Post by **Wolvenessence** » 27 Jul 2020, 23:04

@Akane Mayu

Thank you ~

Hifumi Takimoto from New Game! , Moriko Morioka from Recovery of a MMO Junkie and Saya Kisaragi from Blood-C are women who I relate with and sorta have personalities like theirs.

Akane Mayu · Post by **Akane Mayu** » 29 Jul 2020, 22:07

Wolvenessence wrote: ↑
27 Jul 2020, 23:04
@Akane Mayu

Thank you ~

Hifumi Takimoto from New Game! , Moriko Morioka from Recovery of a MMO Junkie and Saya Kisaragi from Blood-C are women who I relate with and sorta have personalities like theirs.

awsome i like those anime's =]

Wolvenessence · Post by **Wolvenessence** » 29 Jul 2020, 23:59

July 29, 2020 Entry 04 |

I'm posting a very short entry and wow today and I'm surprised how a wonderful day I had today which really never happens to me. I got so much better sleep and woke up extremely confident, great, motivated and happy. I felt like my inner child came out or something I'm not sure what to call it emerged. I'm not really sure what caused my day today to be so great or felt all those good positive, optimistic and self love feelings I felt. Though I'm extremely happy even if this is the only day I have this ( Which I pray it will happen more and for good ) , I had one truly fantastic day at least once in many years. ❤

Wolvenessence · Post by **Wolvenessence** » 30 Jul 2020, 17:46

| Thursday July 30, 2020 : Entry 05 |

Well yet another journal entry from me and I sorta question if anything I write on my journal entries are even interesting to anyone. A few who've responded to me or asked me questions in general I appreciate a lot for them taking an interest in what I have to say and reading what I write. I'm still not here to be popular just not my style or who I am as a person. Though it would be interesting to hear from others on here, perhaps on there thoughts on what I write.

I've been struggling secretly a bit even if my journal says I've been doing really good I am then.. I'm not also at the same time sadly. For two days { Monday & Tuesday this week } of extreme lack of sleep though only one thankfully from not a bad dreams. I long to stay up be more active at night with the glorious beautiful moon herself and breathtaking stars in the galaxy as I used to do. Alas I can't still and trying my best to find a good sleeping schedule to enjoy night , sleep enough to feel well rested and energized then perhaps awake early still watching the sunrise. Since I do love waking up early as well, helps my anxiety.

The quiet in the early hours it gives stillness and peace so it makes me and has been for at least a year and a half feel relaxed and calm before I start my day. Though me being intune with the moon more for personal reasons I wish not to disclose in public here has me longing to be awake later and enjoy the night time once more. It's not easy as some would think at least for me it isn't. However this week a really wonderful thing happned to me. I really can't explain why too much what it was but I felt so happy yesterday. From a reading I got not long ago and another one On YouTube it just all made sense why I was struggling still secretly. I also know now what to do to change things around for the better as well.

I believe in spiritual things and know not everyone accepts or even knows much about that stuff, though I'm into that kinds of stuff { I'm still learning a lot as well } and know it's real. As well know it actually saved my life in all honestly. You can believe that or me or not I don't care if judged on it. Though would be respectful if you didn't. However explaining my spiritual side further that's a very personal thing I only share with people I'm extremely close too, apologies. Well.. I'll end my entry here for today so thank you again to anyone who reads my entries and replies, I appreciate you all.

Wolvenessence · Post by **Wolvenessence** » 31 Jul 2020, 06:49

Currently at this moment extremely exhausted but can't sleep, tried and kept failing so I was up the whole night. Though other than getting no sleep I'm good otherwise. We'll see what happens today for me.

Akane Mayu · Post by **Akane Mayu** » 31 Jul 2020, 09:17

Wolvenessence wrote: ↑
30 Jul 2020, 17:46
| Thursday July 30, 2020 : Entry 05 |

Well yet another journal entry from me and I sorta question if anything I write on my journal entries are even interesting to anyone. A few who've responded to me or asked me questions in general I appreciate a lot for them taking an interest in what I have to say and reading what I write. I'm still not here to be popular just not my style or who I am as a person. Though it would be interesting to hear from others on here, perhaps on there thoughts on what I write.

I've been struggling secretly a bit even if my journal says I've been doing really good I am then.. I'm not also at the same time sadly. For two days { Monday & Tuesday this week } of extreme lack of sleep though only one thankfully from not a bad dreams. I long to stay up be more active at night with the glorious beautiful moon herself and breathtaking stars in the galaxy as I used to do. Alas I can't still and trying my best to find a good sleeping schedule to enjoy night , sleep enough to feel well rested and energized then perhaps awake early still watching the sunrise. Since I do love waking up early as well, helps my anxiety.

The quiet in the early hours it gives stillness and peace so it makes me and has been for at least a year and a half feel relaxed and calm before I start my day. Though me being intune with the moon more for personal reasons I wish not to disclose in public here has me longing to be awake later and enjoy the night time once more. It's not easy as some would think at least for me it isn't. However this week a really wonderful thing happned to me. I really can't explain why too much what it was but I felt so happy yesterday. From a reading I got not long ago and another one On YouTube it just all made sense why I was struggling still secretly. I also know now what to do to change things around for the better as well.

I believe in spiritual things and know not everyone accepts or even knows much about that stuff, though I'm into that kinds of stuff { I'm still learning a lot as well } and know it's real. As well know it actually saved my life in all honestly. You can believe that or me or not I don't care if judged on it. Though would be respectful if you didn't. However explaining my spiritual side further that's a very personal thing I only share with people I'm extremely close too, apologies. Well.. I'll end my entry here for today so thank you again to anyone who reads my entries and replies, I appreciate you all.

I do find ur journal posts untrusting cause I enjoy reading about how ur days r going