Animeleague

I have been gone a very long time and for that I humbly apologize. I must also apologize to the followers of my fanfictions. I have had WB and my Muse has been stubborn for close to a year now so Ch 20 is still Victors of Victorine's latest chapter.

Any suggestions are welcome. Do I have ANY of my old friends and/or followers still around at ANML? I see I still have 2 pages of friends here and for that I am very grateful!

I am currently trying to arrange for my brother Bobby to visit me here in Campbelltown PA where I live now. Bobby lives in a nice nursing home very far away from me and I don't drive. Hard to get everyone to agree on a date so I suppose my hopes of a birthday reunion on my milestone 70th on 8 July is out of the question. I will be alone again.

I did see a very cute Akita pup (Japanese breed of snallish herding dog) up for adoption but too far away for any of my friends to drive me. Local shelters have dogs I don'twant nor like. Closest rescue from me is 50 miles and my friends will drive me no more than 20 miles to adopt a doggie.

Well have a Happy and Safe 4th of July and enjoy the balance of this weekend. Sayonara for now and don't be a stranger here at the Prlour! Thanks for all your loyl support over the years.- The Keiman of Anime

Welcome to journals [mention=19575]keimanzero[/mention]!

Hope you have a good 4th July too.

Teeny wrote:Welcome to journals [mention=19575]keimanzero[/mention]!

Hope you have a good 4th July too.

Thanks for the well wishes, Teeny. Have a swell and safe 4th of July. I just heard from Momo too. Nice to hear from a moddie as wel.- Jack/keimanzero
Campbelltown PA USA

lolol I'm not a mod
yeah, I don't act like one.

Momogari wrote:lolol I'm not a mod
yeah, I don't act like one.

Do Clans even have moderators I wonder? Does ours have one- the Dawn Radicals?

Hope you had a nice 4th of July yesterday, Momo. It was nice to watch the fireworks from my living rom out of my front side window while I was watching TV. Mever moticed that before because I always watched the Pops on TV or the NYV Brooklyn fireworks on TB.

This year again- no Pops on TV and lousy fireworks music from NYV. So I watched Gogan/Carol/Perry as usual and then I finished watching Those Who Hunt Elves on DVD.

No Gogan tonight because they have political debates which are so lame! Talked to Bobby yesterday and Pete on the phone. Still trying to get that visit OKd got Bobby to come here to me.

Just got my rent rebate deposit from the state. I rent and because I am a retiree, disabled and a Vet I get a full rebate each year. So I splurged for my 70yj birthday Monday 8 July. I ordered a bunch of DVDs I wanted and a portable TV set w/ a built in VCR player/recorder.

Last night I watched two old Sherlock Holmes films. Dressed to Kill w/ Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce and Silver Blaze w/ Arthur Wontber as the sleuth and the 007 author Ian Fleming in a rare film appearance as Dr Watson- from 1941. Still looking for that anime Nanase on video. She;s the fire investigator (arson) gal. Ever notice how women tend to predominate anime?

No complaints here, man! I discovered anime via my Lovely Angels Kei and Yuri aka the Dirty Pair. That led me to Crusher Joe and then Bebop and the rest. My sole regret is that I did not find anime earlier. I was over the hill (over 30) when I first found anime and all things of Japan and later fanfictions!

Now I know how to finish Places Vetween the Stars and Victors of Victorine my vurrent ff's. I will use a visit from Those Who Hunt Elves in both scenarios. More about that later!

Gonna be a hot weekend w/ thunderstorms off and on around here. How about where you live, Momo? Sayonara for now and see ya soon.= Jack

Hello there!
How are you, Keimanzero?

NataliaJulia wrote:Hello there!
How are you, Keimanzero?

A little better now that I know that at least here I do still have friends. Today was my milestone 70th birthday and although I got a few cards and tons of emails, it was still very lonely for me because my brother Bobby whom I have not seen since December 2017 and my other brother Pete whom I last saw in April of this year did not visit me. I cannot remember when I saw any other member of my family but it had to be at least 9 years ago. My old friemds that are not just online friends ignored me completely. My new friends and I have very few of them snt me emails and cards but no visits and no phone calls and the only gifts I will get are those I bought and paid for and am awaiting their deliveries.

I looked at my store bought cake and recalled that in 2018 and 2019, I had done something nobody in my family nor my friends had ever had to do- celebrate two birthdays in a row alone w/ just Suzie, Orson and Rudy (a stuffwd Bengal Tiger, Border Collie Dog and a cute Teindeer) for companionship and camaraderie. I started to light the candles and place the golfer on the cake when it hit me that I had nothing and nobody and I started to cry so I am saving my cake until someone does come to see this shut-in retiree Veteran who is disabled.

I watched the first two of gour InuYasha films on TV. Last night I made myself homesick for my ancestral homeland- Ireland when I watched an old travelogue VHS tape and realized I will never see the Old Sod nor my adopted countyry of Japan where I wanted to retire to my own Northern Japan dojo.

You see, I have never ever had a vacarion nor a holiday trip- not even a birthday party. That was what hurt most. A dear friend wjo lives only a few miles from me hinted that I was getting a big surprise for my birthday but it was a secret so he could not tell me anything about it.

Like anyone else, I prepared to act surprised when they knocked on my foor and I opened to Surprise, Jack! and then they threw me my very first birthday party. However, the day came and went, the afternoon came and went and finally, the eevening came and went- and the only surprise I ahd was when my kitchen's surge protector power strip gave up the ghost! Now I have no microwave oven because I have no 3 prong extension cords or surge protectors until Friday when the one I just ordered online comes to me.

My neighbours know I don't drive and that nobody ever visits me so they use my backyard as well as their own for parking! That mans I cannot order out for food deliveries becvause I live on a major highway in the rural countryside and it is illegal in Pennsy to park on the road. So we must use our backyards to pak. It is alo illegal to park in our back lane as it is very narrow so I can only order out when Matt and his family and friends are away from home.

Thanks a lot for letting me rant. Sayonara for now and have a swell eek, my friend.- Jack/keimanzero Campbelltown PA

Hullo there everyone and yes, I felt it was time to revamp the old Anime Announcements Parlour so I have done so w/ this new thread for posting my fanfictions for you kind folks who have endured me for all these years.

OK. A little catch up work first. I still have two currently ongoing titles. They are:-

Places Between the Stars
Victors of Victorine

Unfortunately, I still have writer's block for them and my Muse still refuses to be inspired. So I am humbly asking for suggestions.

In the meantime, however, I have just finished my annual ff pastiche to Charles Dickens's classic A Christmas Carol for the 2019 holidays. Hope you like it and as readers and followers of my MS lore, you know I love tossing in twists and turns aplenty. This tale is no exception.


This year I have decided to put a new twist on Chas Dickens's ghostly tale of Christmastide- A Christmas Carol- so please allow me to set the scene for you.

First, it is now 7 years after Ebenezer Scrooge (Junpei from Those Who Hunt Elves) has seen the light of Christmas. Nephew Fred Wilson (Spike Steigel from Cowboy Bebop) and Bob Cratchit (Lord Aizen of Bleach) are now partners in WCS Enterprises, a new firm that provides video Christmas eCards to most of the retailers in the world.

Sure OK, it is AD 1850 but it's my pastiche tale or saga so I can have technology piquing during the Industrial Revolution if I want! Everyone uses 'vidphones' which most of my DP readers are familiar with which do multiple duties as PDOs (Personal Data Organizers), phones, computers, comm relays, medical tricorders of Trek fame and of course, weapons.

Ebenezer, as usual, stumbles into the parlour of the WCS firm as drunk as a lord on Christmas Eve. Fred's in a vile mood because he has just gotten the bills from the brand new 'Higurashi Mall' where his wife Lucinda Wilson (Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bebop) thinks Christmastide's motto should be 'Charge it' and 'Wreck the Malls' both of which she has done w/ her partner-in-crime, Ms Thelma Harper Cratchit (Thelma 'Mama' Harper from TV's 'Mama's Family') .

Bob has been going over the books and explaining to Fred that many of their customers have asked for credit extensions until after the new year. Now we shall begin at the beginning where nobody is dead nor has been as dead as a doornail (BTW, what the Hell IS a 'doornail' anyway?) but two or three of our characters are a bit 'under the weather' as it were.

'Seasons Greetings From the WSC' or 'Wreck the Malls'

DISCLAIMER: I wish to apologize to the creators whose works and characters we intend to use herein. I am certain sure that they ever expected their charactyers to behave as they will be doing in my latest Carol pastiche nor has this fine old ghostly yarn ever been rendered in this manner. And you folks thought that my first pastiche (Kei's Dream Sequences in 'Christmas with the Dirty Pair circa 1999 I believe) w/ Scrooge and Marley as hired mercenary killers was wild huh? Try this 2019 version on for size.

As always thankee to the creators and if anyone cares to use my own creations, feel free so to do so long as I am given proper credit for it or them. Now w/o any further ado, allow me to introduce Mr Frederick G Wilson and the 'G' stands for greed! He's been hanging around Parliament too long, man!


STAVE 1: "Bobby! Where are the latest invoices? Good Goose Gravy!! Are these Lucy's bills for the whole month, man?" roared 'Frederick G Wilson' angrily. His partner cringed and cleared his throat.

"No, Freddie they ain't. That batch is just for the last three days, pal. 'Mama's (Referring to Thelma Harper Cratchit, Bob's goodwife) haven't come across the vidscreens yet. Oh no! Another bill from 'Kohaku Higurashi' for damages caused by you-know-who, Fred!" replied 'Bob Cratchit' who was fingering the 'Glock 7' automatic blaster under his frock coat.

"This is the last straw, Rapid Robert! Lu and 'Mama' think we are made of money! And turn off that damned Christmas music! I want Lucy's credit vidcards cancelled immediately before we end up in the Alms House! I strongly suggest that you cut off 'Mama' as well! Where's the 'Galusol'? My gut's in an uproar!" growled Fred. Just then the portals crashed open and 'he' stumbled across the threshold!

"Merry Christmas, nephew, Bobby! A merrier Christmas I have given you for many many a year, lads! No more work tonight! Christmas Eve, Dickie. Christm,as, Ebenezer. Clear away these tables and let's have lots of room! And therefore--" screeched 'Ebenezer Scrooge' who collapsed in a heap on the hearth rug by the fireplace!

"We're back!!" squealed 'Thelma Harper Cratchit', stepping on the drunken Scrooge and holding up her vidphone so both of the other gentlemen could see the pictures of all the junk they had just bought at the Mall. Bob sighed, Fred scowled and Ebenezer hiccupped. Then they all jumped when they heard a crash above their heads on the roof of the just remodelled Victorian mansion at 25 (No Longer) Miserable Lane in London's Whitechapel district which was office and also home for both the Wilsons and the Cratchits as well as the owner, Mr E Scrooge, Esquire.

"What in the 7 Hells of Dante's Inferno was that?" screamed 'Mama'.

"Nine. Nine Hells not seven, 'Mama'." corrected Bobby. "It's Lucy of course." grumbled Fred. "Ring for 'Rose' ('Sister Rosette' of Chrno Crusade) to bring a pot of strong black coffee for Uncle Ebby." he added as the room shimmered and a tall blonde woman materialized.

"Black w/ a little cream and sugar, please! The Spirit of Christmas Past here already? You aren't due until the bell tolls one, my dear!" slurred Ebenezer. "In his cups again, huh? Darling, you are going to have to move old St Nicky and his sleigh to the other roof or there won't be any space for left for my speeder to park. Did 'Mama' show ya all the cool stuff we bought for Christmas, Freddie dear?

"Oh and by the way, we stopped for drinks on the way home at 'Battle Moon Alpha Centauri' and none of my vidcards worked! Poor 'Thelma' had to use hers to settle the bill. They must have expired so please do make sure they are OK to use by tomorrow, dearest. I'm bushed. Have 'Ro' bring my dinner up to my room. There's a good little boy. 'Night." said 'Lucinda', pressing her belt buckle's 'traveling stone transporter' control and vanishing from sight which caused Ebby to sit up and spill the java that 'Rose' had just poured for the old geezer.

"That broad's gonna be the cause of my insanity, Bobby. Will you please see Uncle Eb to his room? I think I am beginning to see why he used to hate Christmas so damned much. Oh and when are the kids coming?" replied Fred. Bob consulted his PDO unit and frowned.

"My brood will be here tomorrow around 1100 hours but your two are flying down tonight and should be here before midnight, my friend." answered Bobby.

Here I had best explain the families.

We all know that Bob and Thelma have Peter (Kenpach Zaraki of Bleach. He is now a barrister), Belinda (Ino from Naruto. She is a private detective), Martha (Kei O'Halloran of Dirty Pair. She is an Interpol police inspector and married to Zane Zenigata of Lupin III. Zane is now Chief Inspector Interpol's London offices), Edith (My OC Edie Jordan who works an an Interpol file clerk at the rank of Sub-Ensign. Sorry to my readers but yes, I did demote her but only for this pastiche) and of course, 'Tiny' Timothy (Saitama of One-Punch Man. Tim is now a real hero w/ a 'C' Class ranking. Don't ever piss him off because his punch is dynamite).

Fred and Lucinda have two girls both away at school- one as a student and one as the school's headmistress. Ariana (Ari of Those Who Hunt Elves) is headmistress at 'Hags R Us Academy' while her younger sister Risuke (Reez-Kay)(Risuke of Those Who Hunt Elves) is a third form schoolgirl student studying witchcraft and sorcery under the very esteemed 'Professor Edward Potter', great-grandfather of the beloved Harry Potter.

"Flying down? When did Ariana get her pilot's license restored I wonder? I hope 'Rizzy' ain't flying a speeder. She's only ten!" yelped Fred. "I believe they are flying down here with 'Ed' on his 'jet stick'." replied Bobby. He knew damned well that the doddering old fool could not manage himself on a jet stick let alone ride on one w/ two rambunctious girls! But he would never ever tell Fred the whole truth. Just then there was a second crash on the roofs above them.

"They're here, sirs." said 'Rose' who was cleaning up the java mess having just come down from tucking the wives into bed for the night. "No doubt about it, Freddie. We are gonna need a new roof." quipped Bobby. Two bright yellow flames suddenly appeared on the hearth rug. As they slowly materialized, while the smaller figure was bright and cheerful, the taller one was clearly loaded!

'Risuke Wilson', a lovely ten year old redhead was dressed neatly in the latest 'Hags R Us' uniform which included a long flowing blue cloak not unlike what nurses would be wearing in less than half a century.

"Hi Dad, Uncle Bobby. Mom and Auntie have a few too many again? I saw the wrecked speeder on the roof. Oh, excuse me while I help 'Ariana' off with her furs and-- Holy Hannah! Dad! Ariana's naked as a jaybird uner her traveling furs!" cried Fred's youngest daughter. Fred sighed and pulled the bell rope to summon 'Rose'. He sometimes wondered how they ever got along without her and then again, why the poor girl stayed with them at all?

"Yes, Master Fred, sir? I'm in the kitchen getting out me fresh scones for the young ladies, sir." said a disembodied refined and cultured lady's voice. At one time 'Rose' had studied for the 'Sisterhood' but had soon lost interest and turned to serving wench duties instead. "Uh bring some clothes and underthings for Miss Ariana, Rose, if you don't mind." Fred spoke into the aether and instantly his invaluable maid had materialized beside the girls, her arms full of ladies' garments. Risuke touched her 'traveling stone' belt buckle and the three women and the clothes vanished from Fred and Bobby's sight.

Bob yawned and stretched and then bid his partner a tired good night and retired to his own bedchambers. Fred replied in kind and told Bobby that he too would not staying up much longer.

"Christmas? Bah! Humbug! I hate Christmas! I wish I'd never been born dammit all!" Fred mumbled mostly to himself, carefully avoiding stepping on 'Toby' the household canine.

"Do ye now? Do ye indeed, lad?" chuckled a strange and scary voice from the shadows.

END of STAVE 1

********************************************************************************************************

STAVE 2: "What in Heaven's name? Who- who said that? Show yourself if you dare!" snarled a thoroughly plastered Fred Wilson.

"Not Heaven, lad, that's fer damned sure, sir. Here I be, yer worship. But- didst thou meaneth what thou hath just uttered, sir?" asked a small short squat fellow with a long flowing black beard dressed entirely in Lincoln green.

"I've heard of Robin Hood's Little John but this is ridiculous! Who or what are you, sir?" snapped Fred, leveling an ancient fowling piece musket at the little man. "Hast thou ever been to Ireland, laddie?" asked the short little pest and Fred had to admit that he had never been to Erin in his life.

"More's the pity then, me boyo. I am what ye would call a Leprechaun. And to anticipate thy next question, sir, no, I am not here to share me gold with ye. I be a bit strapped fer cash this year so I am takin' over fer 'Angel Clarence' who will some day save George Bailey's bacon fer him and so gain his wings but that be another tale, laddie.

"But I digress, lad. Did ye mean that ye wished to never ha'e been born at all? Think carefully afore ye answers, laddie." said 'Padraic of Galway'. 'Nah! I was jest blowin' off steam ,man. But I do hate Christmas. Uncle Ebenezer was right to hate the holiday I reckon. Uh, what the devil's that thing, kid?" asked a wary Fred. "This chain ye means, sir? Why, this be yer own chain o' life, Freddie me old boyo. At the verra stroke o' midnight, I will be a-binding this chain around yerself and ye will be a-wearin' it fer all eternity.

"Ye sees what it be made of, eh? eCards, code keys, vidphones, vidscreens and the like. Why ye asks? Because ye dinna wanna help yer fellow man er men and o' course, ladies. Now what was it Clare told me? Oh yeah, now I remembers! Ye has still gots a chance o' escaping yer Fate. Ye kin thank Bobby Cratchit fer that chance. He thinks ye dezarves it.

"I will take ye back to yer past life and show ye life withoot yerself, sair. Damn! (Padraic pulled out a huge turnip watch of ancient beaten gold) Nah, too late now. I have been summoned back to the Knoll by King Brian. He be our Leprechaun King and I daren't be late.

"Instead I'll send ye the Spirits o' Christmas Past, Present and uh, Future to see ya tonight, tomorry night and the next night at 1 AM each o' them nights er uh, mornings I mean. Ye got about a half an hour afore the first one shows up. Look to see me no more unless ye swipes me crock o' gold! Good Night, Master Wilson." said Padraic the Leprechaun who proceeded to vanish into the aether which caused Fred to drop the bottle of Skotch onto the hearth rug. Good thing he had not yet uncorked it!

"Poppycock and indigestion and worrying about Lu's spending and wrecking. Ya know her and Thelma Cratchit are a real 'Dirty Pair'!" mused Fred aloud, bending down to retrieve his bottle.

"Be careful about using that name in vain, Mr Wilson. If you don't mind, sir, I could use a drink of that 'Cuts the Mark' Skotch." said a short bespectacled older gentleman wearing outlandish attire who seemed to have just materialized beside the astonished Fred Wilson. Then he was shaken out of his boots by the bonging of 'Big Benjamin' which could be heard clearly across the length and breadth of 1850 London.

END of Stave 2.

Stave 3: "Who or what the Hell are you, man? I haven't beeen drinking that much tonight, have I?" slurred Fred. "Do sit down, my good fellow, before you fall down and you had better hand that bottle to me, sir." said the gentleman.

"Whoa Nellie! You ain't the first spirit that stupid shoemaker was yakking about, are ya?" yelped Fred, downing the Skotch handed to him by the other fellow.

"The same, sir. I am the Spirit of Christmas Past but you may call me Charles. Sorry, my full name is Charles Augustus Milverton Garner. In my other situation as I believe they were called in this time era, I was a Territorial Sector Chief of the Aquarian Galaxy, sort of like a police commissioner today, sir. (Fred was staring at the old grandfather clock) Relax, sonny. We have until dawn or cockcrow whichever term pleases you to use but we had best be off. (Fred glanced at portal and window but Charles grinned and pointed at the ceiling).

"No magic I'm afraid, sir. However, my shuttle craft is parked on your roof beside a speeder that has seen better days." chuckled Mr Garner of the 3WA (A character from Dirty Pair Flash anime).

"Oh no! Lucy hasn't wrecked another one, has she?" whined Fred who was still nursing his drink. Charles tossed down his own while Fred was staring at the weirdest looking speeder he had ever seen in all of his 37 summers!

"Not quite what you were expecting, Mr Wilson, is it? Take my hand (Fred's face wore a look of shock)- no, we are not going to jump off the roof, son. You see no portals on my craft, do you. (Fred shook his head) That is because we must 'transport' within. Just touch a fingertip to my hand if that amkes you feel better, sir." instructed Charles Garner and Fred gingerly touched a fingertip to the palm of the other man's hand.

POOF! The next thing he knew, Fred was standing in the middle of a huge gallery. The walls were covered with paintings and tapestries and the room seemed endless, certainly much bigger than would seem from the outside. (Charles grinned).

"yes, it is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, sonny. Quantum mechanics and quantum physics is how Dr Cueball (Another DP Flash character) explained it to me. This is called a TARDIS (Time As Relative (to) Distance In Space) and I borrowed it from Doctor Number Two (Dr Who's second regenerated form played on TV by Patrick Troughton) when Paddy comm relayed me to take his place for this jaunt to your past, sir. Sorry there are no seats but apparently the Time Lords of Gallifrey don't believe in creature comforts like the Puritans of your own country's history, uh, may I call you Fred? (Fred nodded absently while clinging for deasr life to some sort of dais or table covered with knobs, dials, push buttons and levers) Fine, Fred it is then. Yes, you had better hold on tightly. The ride can get a bit bumpy at times, Fred." said Charles, activating the controls while Fred stared out at the inky blackness of space.

In less time than it took Lucy to use her vidchip credit vidcard, Charles announced that they had reached their destination. The portals opened and Fred timidly peeked outside- into the middle of his Uncle Ebenezer Scrooge's study! There was the tall wardrobe that was always kept padlocked and which Fred and his playmates were forbidden to open! Fred and his playmate cousin Frieda (A female elf character from Those Who Hunt Elves), however, managed to filch the key while Uncle's butler was napping and they did open the forbidden wardrobe but Fred was too chicken to go inside it. Not the case for Frieda though! She entered and the poor elf maiden was never heard of again! Of course, Fred told Uncle Ebby that Frieda had been recalled to Elfland for a top secret mission. Uncle Ebby was a miser and a skinflint to be certain sure, but he tended to believe anything that was told to him!

"Stay out of that wardrobe, Fred. That's the entrance to another dimension which is where your cousin Frieda lives and she is havign the time of herr young life. (Fred looked puzzled) In Darn Ya Land, you never age like you do in this world. Ah, there is your Uncle Eb now and you as well, young Fred. Rather a dismal holiday for you, was it not, Fred?" said Garner sadly. Fred agreed and wished they could leave.

"OK, back to the TARDIS again. We have a couple more stops to go afore I hand you over to- well- you will see tomorrow night." Fred agreed and raced aboard, noticing that the outside now resembled a tea shoppe down by the Thames docks. Fred noticed now that the centre pylon on the dais or table was piledriving up and down like when one mines for fuller's-earth while a blue light flashed on and off above their heads.

"Lafayette, we are here. Someone I know says that a lot. Anyway, pull that big red lever and the portals will open. (Fred did so) Now, out you go and see yourself learning the ropes of your business, Fred." said Charles and Fred boldly walked outside. This time he passed through a portal in the middle of a wooden cigar srtore Indian chief that was becoming popular outside of London's tobacconist shoppes.

Fred glanced around the gleaming stell and chrome offices and soon spotted himself as a younger Frederick G Wilson seated behind a bank of old-fashioned vidphones. As he watched young Fred said only one of three words or phrases- 'Sell', 'Buy' or 'Stand Pat'.

"Oho. So you were a stock market broker's apprentice eh? And you called your Uncle Ebby a miserly skinflint! These fellows would skin Jack Sprat and he wouldn't even know they'd done it to him!" chortled Charles.

"NO! He's cut off, blast ye! No more credit fer that feller! Me final word on that, Williams!" snarled a tall skinny gentleman in a frock coat and spats. "That's my boss, Chuck. Mr Festering Wound. Oh but he was a hard man with a penny he was and he taught us--" Fred's voice trailed off and her became quite thoughtful.

"To be hard and unfeeling as well, did he not? (Fred reluctantly nodded) . He became your father-in-law, did he not? (Again Fred nodded) Seems his daughter (Lucinda) was just the opposite, isn't she, Fred?" asked Charles in a soothing voice.

"Yes. Yet I still love her very much even though she and 'Mama" are railroading us all to the Alms House." replied Fred glumsly. Charles consulted his PDO unit and frowned.

"Hmmn. I was supposed to show you your wedding and stuff, but I have another rather pressing engagement back on 'Shimougou' in AD 2270 so I think I'll just leave you now. Hope ya learned something, Freddy, me old boyo. See ya around maybe. G-Day mate." said Charles Garner, hopping throught 'Chief Kaw-Liga' and onto his TARDIS which soon whirred and buzzed before the tall wooden Indian chief winked out of sight, leaving a befuddled Fred standing on his own hearthrug back in AD 1850 London!

Fred was dozing when 'Big Benjamin's BONG! jolted him fully awake. Fred vaguely recalled that he had another appointment or two left. He wondered what the Spirit of Christmas Present would be like. He did not have to wonder long.

With a screeching of brakes, a black vintage Packard crashed through the wall of Uncle Ebby's great room and slid to a halt just inches away from the hearth rug upon which he stood! The Packard's doors dematerialized and a short slim svelte young lady climbed out from behind the steering wheel, tossed back her violet-coloured mane of long luxurious locks and pointed a gloved index finger at Fred.

"Mr Wilson, I presume, sir? You must be the little weasel I am supposed to show the error of his ways, are you not, sir?" she asked and all Fred could do was stare at her! She was wearing what looked like two yellow diapers across her breasts and another two across her nether regions. Long yellow gloves and red knee-high Cavalier boots completed her ensemble. A strange looking belt encircled her waist and from it depended a small holster and a short blue cylinder. Fred was sure he was in that place that Alice Liddell had found in that new best-sellin g children's book by Reverend Dodgson better known to modern day readers as Lewis Carroll!

End of Stave 3

Stave 4: "Goodness me! Where are my manners today? My name is Yuri Donovan (Another DP/DP Flash character) and uh, excuse me a sec. (She pulled out a small vidphone but much more sophisticated looking than the ones in 1850!) Oh yeah, Uncle Chuckie (Garner) said that I should tell you that I am the Spirit of Christmas Present and my job is to show ya all the fun you're missing out on this holiday season, man!

"Uh, we can travel in either one of two ways- your choice, Mr Wilson, sir. (Yuri was very polite, unlike- well- that is another tale) We can go by automobile- uh, you can drive if you like. I'm a bit rusty operating ancient junk wheels like this thing or we can use these. (She held up a weird looking contraption similar to the ones used by those characters in the video games that Ariana and Ritsuke and the Cratchit kids and grandkids played at the local arcade) They are called jet packs and we can really move w/ them on, man!" pleaded Yuri but Fred opted for the Packard and he insisted on driving it himself. This causewd Yuri to pout but then she smiled and said 'To each his own'. The dipstick Hellfire redheaded bimbo says that a lot, Mr Wilson."

"Uh, where are we going, Miss Donovan?" asked Fred, carefully reversing the huge limousine across the garden and onto the old road that ran past his Uncle's mansion. "And er where is the control to make this monster go up there?" added Fred and she laughed.

"Mr Wilson, this is an alternate Earthly time era. In the one I am used to, the Industrial Rebellion was not this technically advanced at all." she chortled. "Revolution, Miss Donovan, not Rebellion. I take it then that this boat does not fly? (Yuri nodded ruefully and Fred just could not take his eyes off the young girl who looked to be just a few years older than Ritsuke) OK, here we go. Where to first?" asked Fred and Yuri's gloved finger pointed towards Limehouse. "That way, please." she said with a yawn. Jetlag was always a problem for some time travellers.

"See? See all the fun these folks are hving instead of sitting inside of a dusty old mansion owned by a doddering old fool? My apologies. That's your Uncle Ebby's house, isn't it, sir? (Fred nodded and stared at the Chinese Coolies shooting off fireworks while a skinny old man dressed like Father Christmas handed out goodies to young and old alike.

Yuri continued to direct him to drive all across Londona and finally back to the mansion where his and Bobby's families were celebrating Christmas around the tallest tree he could ever remember being in the great hall these last seven years. Even Uncle Ebenezer was more or less sober today.

The old grandfather clock on the staircase landing struck the hour of twelve midnight and Yuri almost jumped out of the Snow White 'uniform' to which she had changed while Fred had been enjoying the caroling in Hyde Park. "Whoopsy! Time for me to leave you, Mr Wilson, sir. Have I helped you to see the error of your ways, sir. I sure hope to Dickens I have because, believe you me, sir, 'She Who WILL Be Obeyed' is next to come and that gal pulls no punches, man!" yipped Yuri, shaking Fred's hand and sliding behind the steering wheel of the long black limousine again.

Fred was staring at what was left of the three walls in his Uncle's home which the Packard had crashed through. Yuri grinned and pointed a weird device at the wall behind the automobile. "No magic, sir. But I can put back time for the three walls I drove through earlier so that part of the house will look the same as it did when Uncle Chuckie left you before I showed up. (Suiting action to her words, the device shimmered and hey presto! It was as if she had never been there that night.

"Uh- you should have done that after you backed out the vehicle, Miss Donovan?" pointed out Fred and she smiled, blew him a kiss and folded her arms while Yuri and her strange conveyance disappeared into the aether! Fred took a long long drink of 'Cuts the Mark' and promptly passed out! Nor did he awaken until he heard a gruff alcoholic tobacco ridden gravelly voice shouting for him to 'get yer lazy arse up, Willy me old boyo!'

End of Stave 4

Stave 5: Fred stared in shock at the apparition sitting on his couch across the room! Much taller than the last Spirit, this one was chunky statuesque redheaded bombshell who looked to be no more that 14 or 15 (In point of fact, Kei O'Halloran was 17 years old). She had her knees crossed and although this Spirit did wear knee-high black Cavalier boots like Miss Donovan had worn, there the similarity in attire ended.

'She Who WILL Be Obeyed' was dressed all in black from the top of her 'cycle speeder' helmet to the tips of her boots. She wore a leather jacklet, biker gloves and tight fitting black jeans! Encircling her slim waist was a wide belt identical to Yuri's. However, the holster attached to the belt contained a firearm much larger and looked to be much more powerful than the small pistol that Miss Donovan had worn. On the opposite side depended the same sized blue cylinder as that on Yuri's belt.

Kei was smoking a cigar and had helped herself to a tall tumbler of ambre liquor which Fred saw from the bottle in her left hand was his best 'Jameson's Irish Whiskey'! She scowled and pointed her tumbler at the grandfather clock on the landing.

"Let's get this here show on the road, pal. I ain't got all damned night ya know? I got other calls to make and miles to go afore I sleeps. (Fred stared at her and nodded his head) Sorry, guess Mr Froust ain't been born yet huh? OK, my bike's on the roof. Here. Better put this on so we don't get stopped by the cops, Willy." snarled the 'lady' whom Fred was certain sure had to be the--

"Spirit o' Kurisumasu er Christmas Future' at yer service, boyo. Now grab hold to my belt and just shut yer eyes." she ordered. Fred clapped the helmet on his head and took a firm grip on the blue cyclinder (OK, you guessed it! It's a 'laser sword' hilt!) depending from her belt and closed his eyes tightly!

They snapped open involuntarily when he heard the roar of her twin ion engines on her immense black 'skycycle'. "Hands around my waist and hang on tight but no funny business or I'll knock ya into the next time era. Got it, boyo? (Fred barked out a hoarse affirmative) Here we go! Wanna see me take my hands off the handlebars?" chortled Miss O'Halloran.

"NO!! For God's sake, keep your eyes on the skyways please!" yelped Fred, hanging onto her waist for dear life.

"Huh? I thought this time era already had advanced far enough technologically to have flying transports? It don't?" asked a puzzled Spirit and Fred nodded and explained that although he was used to flying through the aether, it was always inside of a closed vessel, not speeding across the heavens in a punk rocker's skycycle!

"Let's go see how your partner's son 'Tiny Tim' is faring these days. We are going forwards quite a few years so hang on tight! Cowabonga, Dude!" screeched his companion on this wild ride. What day was this now? Fred had lost all track of time. Suddenly, the 'Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come' (Why Charlie D never said 'future' is beyond my ken, folks!) swooped low, avoiding some tall trees and finally screeched to a halt atop a decrepit old building festooned w/ ribbons and lights proclaiming to the entire world that the 'World's First Martial Arts Universal Tournament' was now taking place inside.

Fred and Kei walked through the padlocked roof portals and then through a few walls because Kei kept getting lost because, as usual, she was as drunk as Vino Dino Martinio! Finally they stopped and found themselves high above a wresting ring arena enclosed in a gigantic steel cage.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Feast yer eyes on the centre ring. One fall or a submission to the winner! In this corner, weighing in at 350 kilograms (Well over 600+ pounds!) we have the champion and holder of the 'Golden Dragon Balls Belt', your friend and mine and an all around good guy, 'Mr Satan'! (The crowd roared probably because of the shower of credit notes being dumped on them from above!) And in this corner weighing in at (Here the short rotund announcer frowned at the vidnotes in his hand and sighed) Uh, weighing in at a weight so colossal that he has already broken three scales trying to determine his weight- is the challenger who has never been inside the ring much less- steel cage- before this day! Please welcome 'The Masked Exterminator' who has yet to be beaten in any fight outside of the squared circle!" howled ther ring announcer and a thunder of 'boos' and 'cat calls' greeted the monster that had stepped inside ring and cage and crashed through the canvas floor of the ring which had been reinforced for this bout with twelve layers of concrete!

'Mr Satan' stepped forward and shook hands with the big guy in the mask who grinned broadly when 'Mr Satan' explained that he had to 'make it look good' before he 'took a dive' allowing the champion to win and retain his 'GDB' Belt. 'The challenger guffawed and grabbed his opponent in a massive 'bear hug'! Then he tossed 'Mr Satan' lightly into the air and caught him in his arms. Next he raised his hapless and helpless opponent who was wishing that his belt also summoned mighty ShenRon for his three wishes, above his head and spun him about in the dreaded 'skysled spin'!

Suddenly he released the champion and landed a heavy 'haymaker right' into the poor guy's solar plexus region with so much force and power that 'Mr Satan' flew across the ring, throught the cage and several walls before his young daughter 'Videl' handed her baby to her hubby, 'Gohan Son', to hold while she launched herself skywards just in time to catch 'Daddy' before he had been catapulted out oif the building!

The announcer was perplexed and tongue-tied! This was neither a 3 count 'fall' nor was it a 'submission'! Then a short bald-headed guy named 'Krillin Wilkins' pointed out one of the little known rules for a steel cage match. The grateful announcer nodded his approval and lowered the vidmike.

"A rule that is hardly ever used anymore since the Saiyaans have been banned from competition in these matches is that if an opponent leaves the ring not under his own power, he is disqualified and the fighter remaining inside the ring and cage is deemed to be the winner or- in this case- we have a brand new champion and holder of the 'Golden Dragon Balls Belt'! And I believe that this lad needs a new moniker so- I proclaim him as a true hero and I dub him 'One-Punch Man'!" screamed the ring announcer to a thunder of applause, 'boos' and 'cat calls'.

Kei grinned when a medium sized and slightly built bald-headed guy stood, held up his hands for silence (And got it too!) and shook his head. "Sorry Dude but that name's already been taken. It belongs to me- Saitama, the 'One-Punch Man' hero Level C. (A strange looking taller guy dressed in black whispered into Saitama's ear) Correctiojn. Genos just reminded me that I am now a Level B hero. However, I think this guy should show us his face. Don't ya agree?" said Saitama, clapping his gloved hands together and raising them above his head. The room exploded with clapping and the new champ obligingly pulled off his mask causing poor Fred Wilson to almost fall off the beam they were standing on above the arena.

"Th-th-that's my kid! That's 'Tiny Tim' Wilson!" yelled Fred and Kei nodded and took another pull from the bottle she had filched from Fred's great room. "Yup. Sure has let himself go though, don't ya think? Didn't the kid ever hear of 'Neutron-System' or 'Pigs R Us', man? Whoops! (She held aloft the bottle of now almost depleted 'Jameson's' and frowned) This don't look good, boyo. I see a vacant reinforced tire seat propped against the fireplace and a half eaten Danish beside it and-- Hey! Didn't the dipstick violet-maned minx vixen (Yuri Donovan) tell ya this crap already? (Fred shook his head) Well, in another few hours, yer kid will be meeting 'Hayneedle George' up there or down there. Sorry but we ain't allowed to give out them details, pal. Gettin' late so we had best be on our way." snapped Kei and soon they were rocketing towards 'The Temple' of London, where all major business is transacted at the 'Change.

Coming to a rest atop the steps of the London Stock Market aka the 'Change or properly put the 'Exchange', his compadrer pointed out 3 gentlemen conversing at the foot of the steps of the huge building. They resembled 'Simon LeGree', 'Dr FuManchu' and 'The Claw'. So secretive and crooked were they that they were known to each other only as 'A', 'B' and 'C' respectively.

"How'd he die?" asked 'A'. "I heard tell that the poor ganged up on him because he was so stingy and cracked his skull open." replied 'B' who was forever insulting the poor. "Nah. Jest a simple little heart attack I heard. But the administrators of his estate are still looking for his money!" observed 'C' who was fingering a long silver dagger encrusted with precious gems. (We must forgive this trio. After all, they have not foreclosed on a widow or even stole a bone from a dog in more than a week!)

"I heard that not even his widow and kids are gonna attend his funeral." added 'C' with a grin. "Well, tickets to that new rollercoaster ride in Hyde Park, the 'Twisted Brother-In-Law' are hard to come by these days so you cannot really blame them, can you?" chuckled 'B'. "Oh I don't mind going to see off the old coot- if a substantial luncheon is provided." put in 'A'.

"Yes, I will also attend but it had better not be 'Plantburgers' from 'Burger Princess' and those dreadful tacos from 'Taco Big Benjamin's' again like when we planted his uncle." warned 'B' and they all laughed and went on their merry ways. Fred was befuddled, a condition he seemed to have acquired when Charles had walked in earlier today, yesterday, next week, a hundred years ago--

Kei sighed and tossed the empty bottle into the gutter. "One more thing, kiddo. Then-- I told ya there is some things I can't tell ya, baby." said the final Spirit and off they roared to Limehouse by the Thames docks. Soon they landed beside a decrepit old warehouse and she led the way through the walls and portals within as usual. This was so old hat to Fred by now that it no longer frightened nor surprised him. A tall thin cadaverous gentleman sat on a high chair clutching his silver-knobbed walking stick.

Seated around a huge deal table were- Messieurs 'A', 'B' and 'C' whom Fred recognized immediately.

"Does anyone object to my going first?" demanded 'C', brandishing his dagger. 'A' and 'B' nodded glumly but said nothing.

"See what I er 'found' in my travels this day, 'Mr Collins', sir." said the silky-voiced 'C'. "Get on with it, man! I have to be back in my coffin before cockcrow in this blasted country." snarled 'Barnabus Collins' (TV's 'Dark Shadows') and 'C' unfurled his bundle filled with cheap knick-knacks that you can still find at fairs and giveaways at local stores. Their host yawned and held up three crooked fingers that were almost transparent after all these centuries. "Pounds?" asked 'C' hopefully and the other shook his head. 'Credits. Three credits, pal. Take it or leave it." said Collins. 'Done, sir." said 'C' and 'A' elbowed 'B' back from the table and dumped out his 'loot'.

"Well. Vidtapes and a player/recorder as well. Does the dashed thingamabob work, sir?" Collins leaned forwards and fitted a vidtape into its slot on the gadget. "It's a real good thing the old fool's outta the country, 'Mr A'. Otherwise he'd never let me sell 'Collins House' to you. And are you sure you can only afford ten million? Sorry but no, Steven- oh do stop howling, will you? I--" SNAP!

"Now how did that get in there I wonder?" said a red-faced 'Mr A'. "If that tape means what I think it means, my friend, you are going to owe me five million Quid. However, ten, no, seven credits." said Collins. 'A' knew never to look a gift horse in the mouth because vampires do not like to be cheated so he readily agreed to the offer.

"Now open my own bundle, Barney, old boyo. (Fu was spending too much time with Nayland-Smith these days) See? I used my black magic to shrink the whole bedroom suite- oh my! That looks like the same suit they dressed him in at the mortician's house. Well, he won't catch cold where he's going, I daresay, what?" chortled 'B'.

"Twelve and six credits and triple pennies. Now, let us see what it looks like full-sized, sir." said Collins eagerly. 'B' grinned and held out his thin spidery hand on which the yellow fingernails were a full foot and a half long! "That, sir, will cost you another five hundred Guineas, if you please. My magic spells are not cheap, my dear Collins." replied 'B'.

"One more stop I forgot about, Willy. And away we go." said his guide, stopping outside of the gates of the spookiest graveyard Fred had ever seen! "See that small tombstone? Yeah, whatta ya wants on yer Tombstone? It's a joke that was old long before now. Oh uh, yeah, did I mention that I can both 'mind read' and 'mind send'? Yuri can too but she's not very good at it. OK, moment of truth, boyo. Go read the writing on that stone. Hold it. Lemme illuminate things for ya." growled the Spirit, igniting her blue laser sword and directing its beam over Fred's shoulders and onto the soft soapstone grave marker.

"My God! 'Ebenezer Scrooge'!" read Fred and the drunk realized they were in the wrong graveyard! "Whoopsy! Wrong place. Hang on a sec, kid. There! (There was a blinding flash of light and the pair were now standing around a sloppy rain-soaked grave marker while the heavens had opened above the duo. Kei pointed the blue beram of her laser sword and suddenly it flickered and went out! They were in totally complete darkness and Kei cursed a few time causing even Fred to blush!)

"Hang on. Keep yer eyes glued to that stone and don't flinch. CRAACCKK!! Kei had drawn her own Mark XIII ion cannon and fired it at the stone which disintegrated completely but not before Fred had seen the name carved on it in the gunflash!

'Frederick G Wilson'/'He held a credit until it hollered for help!' His birth date was below it and the year of his death not too many years distant from AD 1850! Then the crying and pleading started. Kei yawned and hopped aboard her skycycle and roared off. "Enjoy yer life, boyo- what ya got left of it anyhow! Ha ha ha ha!!" she screeched over her shoulder.

BUMP!! Fred Wilson picked himself up off the floor and shook his head to clear the cobwebs! But was he indeed too late?

"Alexandria, what day is this?" he asked into the aether. "Had a few too many, huh? OK. I'll bite. It's like Christmas Day, Mr Drunkie." replied his 1850 version of the Echo Senior. "Cool! I ain't missed it then. Have Christmas Dinners for the poor transported to them all across London. Spare no expenses, my dear. How much do I pay you?" asked Fred. "Nothing, Stupid. I'm a machine, remember? But it does get a bit lonely around here. How about a 'Dr Watson' to keep me company, Freddie?" suggested the husky female voice from the aether. "Consider it done, Alley-Cat! Order one for yourself immediately.

"I'm as happy as an angel/as merry as a schoolboy/as giddy as a drunken man/as--" yelped Fred. "ya got the last one right, Frederick dear. Merry Christmas, Darling. What'd I get from old St Nicky?" bubbled Lucinda closely followed by Ariana and Ritsuke. The Cratchits hurried down the stairs, vidcellphones glued to their ears.

"I said sell dammit! What? The 'Change is closed today? What the Hell for, George? Oh, it is? Sorry, slipped me mind. But you be in the office all the earlier tomorrow, got it? oh yeah. Heil H-- I mean Merry Christmas. Bye." said Peter Cratchit who was the real brains of 'WSC' and as shrewd and miserly as his father's Uncle Ebby.

"Better change yer tune if ya know what's good fer ya, son. Otherwise you too will have a visit from the Spirits, me boyo. Open that one first Belinda and where's our Martha?" asked a totally changed Fred Wilson. "Don't ya remember, Pop? She's the director of the 'Higurashi Mall's Christmas Parade today." said a pleasingly plump Timothy Cratchit, mouth full of Grandma's fruitcake again. (Fred reached for the bell pull cord) Forget it, dear. Rose is with Martha helping to sober up our Santa again this year." explained Lucinda who was strikingly lovely in her yellow lounge outfit- 'a steal at only twelve thousand, Darling'.

OK. Not to bore ya with the rest of the mushiness let me just say this. As Tiny Timothy observed--

"God bless us everyone and please pass the mashed potatoes and gravy. Any plum pudding left? Where are the Christmas crackers, Pop? Who was that guy and them two broads you was with down here last night, Pop?"

"What two broads, Frederick G Wilson?" demanded you-know -who.

FINIS. Always wanted to use that instead of the trite and overused--

THE END!!

OK you know the drill by now. Please Read/Review/Suggest. I still have Places and Victors to finish before Kurisumasu Ibu er Christmas Eve in Hokkaido.- Story Teller Guy for keiman and kei aka the Keiman of Anime.



Now that you have read it, please let me know your feelings and I need any suggestions you want to make for my next as yet untitled/unthemed/unplotted work.

Oh and to read Places and Victors go here:-

http://www.fanfiction.net/anime/dirtypair

Look for the titles or look for me as keiman and kei as the author. You will find that many of the DP entries are mine.

Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving this week. Yeah, you Canadians celebrated yours on 12 October so a belated Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends North of our borders.- keimanzero

Places Between the Stars is finally finished. I just posted Ch 40. Soon I will begin a new ff but not before I finish Victors of Victorine as I promised and I hope to achieve this before Christmas 2019. Anyway I am attaching Ch 40 of Places.


'Places Between the Stars' Chapter 40 'A Stunning Shock' or 'Where Are We, Donovan?'

Before I give you the Disclaimer, this is the final chapter for 'Places'. Yes, I will tie it all together and set the stage as it were- for 'Victors of Victorine' which I hope to finish before Christmas Eve 2019.

DISCLAIMER: As always, we thank everyone whose works we have used, are using or may use in the yet to come times. A special thanks to the creator of the Lovely Angels aks the Dirty Pair/DP Flash, Haruka-San Takachiho who just celebrated a birthday on the 7th of this month and a happy belated birthday to Haruka-San.

Wow! Story Teller Guy was not kidding when he said it's been a really good while since we updated our fanfictions and I thank him for finishing up this year's (2019) pastiche of Charles D's classic 'A Christmas Carol' and getting it posted before Thanksgiving!

STG tells me it's my turn to introduce the chapter and Chapter 40 is our final chapter for 'Places' and we thank you for waiting so patiently/impatiently. Anyway, when we left the gang, Alley Cat was welcoming John Berringer, Lord Khan and Emporer Ming the Merciless to dinner on Victorine in her own dining hall. Without more rigamarole--

"I don't like the looks of this, sire. Why is the 3WA being so nice to us all of a sudden?" whispered the vilalin who should have been named Ming the Cowardly because he was far looking merciless.

"I hate to admit it Johnny, but the little weasel is right for a change. I mean I never expected them to agree to our terms so readily." whispered the tall space pirate Lord Khan. John Berringer scowled and tossed away his cigar which was immediately whisked away by a quiet 'service 'droid'.

"MY terms, pirate. Besides, she has nothing to do with the 3WA. Alison Poe-Prydonia is the President of this world and the Ambassador to both Shimougou and Mars." snarled Berringer. "Now cool it. Here comes that green thing they call Piccolo." added Johnny.

Piccolo was wreathed in smiles which was never a good sign especially for the Namekian's enemies! "Ah, right on time at 1700 hours I see, sirs. Won't you please follow me, gentlemen?" invited the big green dude. It should be noted that Piccolo was not wearing his heavy training attire and weighted cloak. He was ready for action!

"Welcome, my friends. Please be seated." said Alison and the words tasted like bile in her throat. "Cool it, Milady. Kakkaroth and I know what to do but now is not the time so don't blow it, Alley Cat." whispered Vegeta Brief who was standing behind her chair. Across the table stood Goku Son and the big Saiyaan was all smiles as he seated Commander Revy Roberts whom, like everyone else there at the table, had plastered a grin on her angry countenance.

"Now, Dog Boy?" asked Kouga the Wolf yokai demon who was standing behind the draperies directly behind the hapless villains and the idiots did not suspect a thing- or did they? Beside Kouga stood a grim-faced InuYasha. Both of them were resplendent in their new Colonel's guard uniforms. Behind them was a large force of fighters and they were all armed to the teeth!

Fritz von Dekker aka the Green Baron (A descendant of the famed 20th Century fighter pilot Manfred von Reichthofen aka the Red Baron) stood up and raised his glass for a toast. Everyone else at the table did the same. "What should we do, sire? The wine may be poisoned! Taste it, Lord Khan." demanded Ming.

"Idiot!! Not even the 3WA would commit murder! Pick up your glass and take a sip of the stuff. I already drank some of mine and I'm fine, ain't I?" snapped their leader. "But John, you said she is not 3WA. However, I agree. They would not kill us in front of all these witnesses. Get out from under the table, you coward." replied Khan.

"Here is to a new friendship with our newest neighbours. I drink to your health, gentlemen." said the Baron and everyone drank deeply. Fritz turned and hurled his empty brandy snifter into the fireplace. The rest of the party did likewise. Finally, John Berringer and Lord Khan followed suit. "Throw the damned glass into the fire, you weasel." seethed Khan and Ming tossed his glass as well and it hit poor Lord Kakashi in the chest.

"Stand by for action. Kakashi was Naruto's very first Sensei in his Ninja village. He won't take this laying down." growled InuYasha and the wolf demon nodded his agreement. Naruto began to rise when he felt a hand gently but firmly pushing him back into his seat. "Let it alone, young master. Remember the plan, sir." whispered Ichigo Kurosaki aka the Substitute Soul Reaper.

"No harm done, boyo. How d'ya like Victorine, Your Highness?" asked Kakashi Hakate politely.

"Very nice indeed, sir. I shall take great pleasure in ruling it." chuckled Ming. Khan's and Berringer's faces were dark thunderclouds. Ming had been Emporer of a region of space known as Mongo until King Varin had recovered his throne with the able assistance of the 3WA. Johnny had reluctantly promised to restore him to power after he had helped him to acquire Victorine and Mars and then Shimougou.

"Ahem. I have a document here that I am instructed to read. Thank you." said the Baron, unfurling an old-fashioned parchment vidnote and began to read.

"By Order of Territirial Sector Chief Charles Augustus Milverton Garner, the following criminals are hereby placed under arrest immediately. Jonathan Edward Berringer, Lord Captain Xavier Esmeraldas Khan, Zachary Scott Minglelovsky. Colonel InuYasha, placew these three gentlemen under arrest!" ordered Lord von Dekker and the draperies swished aside.

Suddenly, the trio who had been so cocksure of their power that they had come without arms were surrounded by at least 20 fighters! "Let's get the Hell outta here!" yelped Berringer but his chair would not move! Neither would the chairs of Ming or Khan. "Going somewhere, guys?" asked Goku who was holding the back of Berringer's chair. Beside him stood Vegeta behind Khan and Piccolo behind Ming.

With a snarl, Khan gripped the table and launched himself right into Vegeta and drew a wicked looking 'powersword' which he leveled at Alison. He quickly leaped across the table and grabbed the astonished time lady. "We are leaving now and anyone who follows us will feel the sting of 'Eloise'! Got it?" snarled the space pirate and everyone began laughing.

"Sire! Everyone here has gone insane!" screamed Ming. "Minglelovsky? I never knew you were Polish. Here. Cover me." growled Berringer, tossing the little guy a pistol. He himself had drawn his own Mark XII blaster and was following Khan and Alison.

"Do you think that we would be so foolish as to allow you fools to come here armed and keep your weapons if we thought for an instant that you could use them?" chortled Soul Reaper Captain Aizen. Ming fired or rather he pulled the trigger but nothing happened! "Damn your hide, John! I should have known you wouldn't gimme a loaded gat!" screeched Ming.

John pressed the blaster's firing stud but it did not function either. Khan dropped his powersword and shoved Alison back into the room. A glance behind him told Khan his exit was covered so he raised his hands and grinned. "OK. I know when I'm licked. I surrender." he said.

Yuri Donovan chose this moment to enter the room carrying the first course of dinner. Ming shoved his useless gun into Berringer which propelled him into Khan and Yuri. As they struggled, Ming's hand brushed Yuri's bracelet and all four of them vanished in a flash of flame and smoke! "You stupid dipstick! I told you not to wear that new 'traveling transporter bracelet' until Dr Cueball had worked out all the glitches in it dammit!" howled the red-headed firebrand Hellcat Kei O'Halloran who was a visiting 3WA Grand Imperial Marshall from Shimougou. Yuri was her old partner-in-arms from the 3WA when they ahd both been young 'tro-cons'.

"After them! Now dammit!" yelled Vegeta but Kei grimaced and waved them all back to their chairs. "Belay that order. They are gone, guys. Thanks." said the Marshall, accepting a mug of java laced ehavily w/ her favourite liquor- Jameson's Irish Whiskey.

"Where the Dickens--?" asked Alison and blank looks were here answer from the crowd. "Wherever Dr Cueball the Screwball had the damned bracelet set for- and whenever. That bracelet the dipstick was wearing is a prototype of a 'traveling transporter bracelet'. It's a cross between the soldier sailor scouts' 'travel stones' and our own 3WA 'morphing bracelets' but he added a third ability to the mix- time travel!

"Sorry Alley Cat but in this case I outrank ya. This is 3WA business now. Revy, call Uncle Chuckie (Garner) tell him that we need Dr Q up here like yesterday. That's an order, Roberts! Move yer fanny!" barked out O'Halloran.

"Where in the Universes have they gone, man?" asked Naruto Uzimaki.

"And-- when?" added Kakashi Hakate.

END OF Chapter 40. Exciting huh? To find out everything you wanna know, you will have to read our next fanfiction tale we call 'Victors of Victorine'.





I know it's been a long long time so- here is Ch 1 of Victors for you to use to get caught up and to figure out if you can how I will be blending in the final chapter of Places w/ the beginning of Victors.


'Victors of Victorine'

Chapter 1 'Auntie, the Butler & the Closet' or 'Zamarkand's Sole Survivour'

DISCLAIMER: As the sole survivour of the once mighty 'Zamarkand', I, 'Ahura Gladius Mazdan', have been given the supreme honour of reading this document to you, the loyal readers and followers of these adventures of my newfound friends, the new colonizers of this brave new world of 'Victorine'.

First, we wish to thank the numerous Creators whose works and characters we have the privilege and honour to be graciously permitted to utilize especially our great effendi, Mr Haruka-San Takachiho without whose kindly permission none of these vidreports and vidlog sharings would be possible.

Of course, we graciously and humbly wish to allow the usage of any of our own original works and characters of which we have the honour to be the Creators. We ask only that we be afforded equal credit for their Creation. We ask this in the name of the mighty god whom I myself resemble and whom, on a long ago visit to Terra, the Earth, I was mistakenly recognized to represent- the great 'Ahura Mazda' of ancient Persia.

The following is a brief synopses of the events which are to be related to ye in this modernistic version of the Thousand and One Nights of the beautiful Scheherazade. Therefore, read on and be amazed, my friends--

I'll soon be starting my new ff venture entitled 'Victors of Victorine'. It will include characters from other time eras and places, but they will not be coming through the space/time Continuum barrier. Look for stowaways on a TARDIS instead. That leads me to my glaring problem. My readers and followers want to see Auntie Harriet Cooper and Alfred Pennyworth reunited with Bruce Wayne/Batman and Dick Grayson/Robin on the brave new world. I envision Auntie H accidentally stumbling aboard the TARDIS which will resemble something unusual inside of Wayne Manor.

I also envision Alfred the Wayne Manor's butler trying to rescue her and stumbling aboard with her. Before they can leave, however, the TARDIS will activate and they will be whisked off to either Shimougou's EC or FC 3WA HQ or Academy or to the Federation HQ at Kurestan on Alderaan and eventually being transported via 3WA starship to Victorine where they will be reunited with Bruce and Dick. Of course, it means that Auntie H will have to be apprised of the guys' secret identities. No problem there since everyone in the 23rd Century knows whom Dick and Bruce are in reality- the 'Dynamic Duo'- not to be confused with our own Angelic 'Deadly Dynamic Duo' of Kei O'Halloran & Yuri Donovan.

The problem arises in stately Wayne Manor. What could the TARDIS resemble on the outside that would make her curious enough to step through it or into it and wind up aboard the Type 40 machine?

In my versions, of course, the 'chameleon circuit' has been replaced and now allows the TARDIS's outside to resemble anything that the time lord or time lady might choose or need. Allison's Type 40 resembles 'Kaw-Liga', a wooden cigar store Indian chief, but I just cannot see this matronly lady accidentally walking into it! Ditto for a china closet or suit of armour. Perhaps an armoire or a wardrobe?

In the two Peter Cushing 'Dr Who' films, the 'Doctor Grandfather' kept his TARDIS in the hall closet! Perhaps Auntie H could walk into the closet and fall through the back 'wall' and onto the Type 40? She'd scream the house down and bring Alfie running. Seeing her dress disappearing into the 'wall', he would, naturally, make a grab for it and centrifugal force would yank him through as well?

Because of the commotion, they would come out not in the main or auxilliary control room 'bridge' but in one of the rear storage rooms. By the time that they had finally found the bridge, the TARDIS would be 'lightys' or light years away from Terra which is what we call Earth in the 23rd Century. Taking them back home is now impossible because the TARDIS can never return to the same spacial place or time once it has already landed there once. The only alternative is for the time lord or lady and his/her companions to take the 'stowaways' with them to their mission's destination.

Poor Mr Garner! As Territorial Sector Chief of the Aquarian Galaxy, they would become his responsibility and he'd shuffle them off to the new world that was being colonized on the next available vessel.

In Ch 40 of NGS, I introduced the sole survivour of Victorine. Of course, he knew that world as 'Zamarkand'. 'Ahura Gladius Mazdan' is a powerful, but not evil, Djinn who possesses powers of invisibility amd wish granting as well as being an adept at 'mind send' like a telepath or a Beta Zoid. He has already solved the colonists' water supply problems at the new 'Victoria City', the 'staging area' and the campsite of 'Stalag 13' by redirecting the 'Amaazonian River' and creating a lake, a reservoir and a creek for them. As he has yet to reveal himself to them, the colonists are all agog and possible explanations are rampant!

When they arrive there, Auntie H and Alfie are billetted with ? because Bruce, Dick and the rest of the 'Justice League' and some reformed members of the 'Legion of Doom' are away on another mission for the 3WA or the Federation. Alfie becomes a butler for the Walkers while Auntie H is pressed into service as a babysitter for the new Walker baby and Eric & Sookie Northman's twins who are almost three Earther years. The 'reborn' Angela Walker (She is now 5) makes a huge hit with Auntie Harry. Her older 'sister' (Born a few months earlier and who looks and acts like a grown woman of 20 something) has stowed away to Victorine aboard a space rig piloted by Sir Integra Wyngate van Helsing, the Hellsing leader and her co-pilot, Louie LeBeau from 'Stalag 13'. The older Angela intends to live together with her boyfriend, Paramedic/Firefighter Johnny Gage!

Well, that's how the first few chapters of VOV will be laid out as soon as I decide how Auntie H and Alfie leave Wayne Manor! I am looking for a good pix for the FFN title page. I want a planet with twin suns on the horizon and Tattooine from Star Wars is out because it's a desert planet and Victorine has been newly terraformed and is now being colonized using Dr Brief's 'building capsules'.

I may have found such a pix and I also may have found a good pix of a good Djinn who will resemble the Zoroastrian/Zarathustrian Persian god Ahura Mazda. How about that eh? A Japanese car named after an ancient Persian (Iran) god! Iraq used to be known as Mesopotamia. Can't recall where 'Samarkand' was though although HP Lovecraft used it several times in his 'Great Old Ones' stories as the city of Cthulhu. Arabian land I believe but don't quote me on it.

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"Mrs Cooper? Madam? Did you summon me, Madam Cooper? That is strange. Could the good lady have entered Master Bruce's study? She knows that is a room that is forbidden to her. Oh my goodness! There goes the 'Batphone'! I wonder what sort of a mess Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara have gotten themselves into this time? What a time for the Master and his young ward, Master Grayson, to be away on a mission for those 3WA ladies and I use the term loosely, very loosely indeed!

"Good afternoon, sir. No, I fear that he and Master Robin are not at home, sir. Whom, sir? The 'Time Traveller', sir? He is a new villain, sir, is he not? Yes, I thought as much, sir. Yes, I will certainly convey that message to him, sir. Yes, the 'Bat Signal' is sometimes quite useful, sir. However, in this case, I fear that he is well beyond its range, sir. Yes, as soon as I can, sir. Stiff upper lip and all, sir. Quite a sticky wicket indeed, sir. Yes. Good day, sir.

"Heavens to Murgatroyd! Oh dear me. I simply must stop reading Master Dick's comic books! Mrs Cooper? Madam? Ah, there you are, mum. No, don't dust the Bard, Madam! Oh dear! No! Please do not touch that switch! Oh dear! Be careful, Madam! Madam? How unusual. She seems to have walked through the wall behind the 'Bat Poles'! Madam! I'm coming, mum. My! How that lady can scream! Here I come, Madam. Alfred to the rescue. Ah well, mine is not to reason why, mine is but to-- I am wasting time.

"In for a farthing, in for a Euro, I suppose. My word! Where the deuce am I? Madam! Keep shouting, Mrs Cooper. I am coming. I think that I am, anyway. What a strange looking wall. It seems to be made of some sort of shiny metallic alloy. Not steel at any rate. What are these round things I wonder?

"Ah, there you are, Madam. Allow me to assist you to rise, mum. What's that, Madam?" said the bearded and mustachioed grey-headed gentleman butler of stately Wayne Manor located just 14 miles from Gotham City.

"Alfred! Where on Earth are we? I touched that button inside the bust of Mr Shakespeare in Bruce's study and the wall opened! I was curious and I fell against those two poles marked 'Bruce' and 'Dick'! Then I fell through the wall and bumped my head! When I came to, I was lying on this bed! My goodness gracious! What was that, Alfred? Let's go back to the house." said the matronly white-haired Mrs Harriet Daggett Cooper whose young teen-aged nephew, Richard Grayson, was the adopted ward of the eccentric multi-billionaire, Bruce Wayne.

"To paraphrase Mr L Frank Baum, Madam: 'I do not believe that we are in Gotham City anymore, mum.' Shall we see where this passageway leads, Madam? Do be careful, Madam. The floor seems quite slippery. Oh my stars! Look at this room! Unless I miss my guess, Madam, we seem to be aboard a 'space vessel' of some kind, Madam. No!! Don't touch that, Mrs Cooper! Oh my goodness! Hold onto me, Madam! We appear to be lifting off!" said the Wayne butler, grasping the older woman around the middle with one arm and wrapping his other arm around the strange looking console just as the pylon began 'pile driving' up and down!

"Ach! Who be ye and what be ye doin' aboard Mistress Galatea's 'TARDIS'?" yelled a big strapping Scotsman complete with kilt, sporrin and 'Claymore' broadsword who had just popped through another door and was frantically throwing switches.

"Well? Answer Master MacCrimmon, please. I have never had stowaways on my Type 40 before, have we, Jamie, me lad?" said a tall raven-haired woman wearing a black jumpsuit who had followed 'Jamie MacCrimmon' onto the 'bridge' of her travelling machine. She had leveled an evil-looking flintlock pistol at the two trespassers, but she immediately holstered it when the older matronly lady fainted into the older gentleman's arms.

"Jamie, take the lady to one of the bedrooms. Not you, sir. Surely some sort of an explanation is in order, sir? I am listening." said Lady 'Galatea Getraeran' of the Gallifreyan clan of Karpathia. She quickly 'repped' up two comfy armchairs and a java table beside the console and signed for Mr Pennyworth to sit. He instead walked over to her and held her chair while she sat first and then he took the other chair while she poured tea for them both.

Alfred Pennyworth slowly and carefully explained the events from the time that he had noticed that his own mistress was missing from stately Wayne Manor until he had followed Mrs Cooper aboard this vessel and so on and so forth until they had reached this control room.

"Then you must work for the 'Bat' and his snot-nosed brat, Mr Pennyworth. Is that correct, sir? Lemon or milk? Sugar?" said the tall Patrician-featured time lady who had landed to make a few minor repairs before she, Jamie and Leila the 'Jungle Girl' could return to Gallifrey.

"That is correct, Madam. However, mum's the word around Mrs Cooper, please. Outside of myself and Mr Gordon's daughter, Barbara, no one else knows Master Bruce and Master Dick's true identities and--" explained Alfred and his hostess burst into peals of raucous laughter.

"Really, 'Madam Karpathia'. Manners!" said an annoyed butler angrily or as angry as Alfie ever got anyway.

"Your pardon, my good sir, I beg. However, out here everyone knows that Brucie boy's really Batman and Dickie's really Robin the Boy Blunder, I mean, Wonder. Just where d'ya think ya are, um, may I call you Alfred?" asked Her Ladyship.

"Of course, Madam. That is my name." replied Alfred.

"Finestkind, man. Do call me Gally. Everone else does. Anyway, you seem to have stumbled aboard my TARDIS. It stands for 'Time and Relative Dimensions In Space' but don't ask me to explain quantum physics. All I know is that it travels through both time and space. Looks like you and Granny Moses are with us for the long haul. Hmmn. We cannot very well take you to Gallifrey with us. I know!

"We'll drop you and Grandma off at 3WA HQ in 'Elenore City'. That's in Western 'Shimougou', man. Then you can hop the next flight to 'Victorine'. That's where Batty and Robbie are for the next year. Not to worry! As we speak, clonic replicas of them, you and the old doll next door have 'materialized' in this 'Wayne Manor' place o' yourn so that those two crybabies in Gotham will have somebody to do their jobs for 'em until you, the genuine articles return- if ever that is." chuckled Gally.

"That simply will not do at all, Madam Gally. Not at all. I am afraid that I must insist upon your returning both of us to 'Wayne Manor' at once. Turn this contraption of yours around and--" said a stern-faced Alfred Pennyworth and Gally started to giggle.

"No can do, Alfred, baby. Goes against the rules of Rassilon, man. No time jockey can ever return to the exact same time and place for a second time. Rassy's our founder- ya see? Nah, ya don't see, do ya? Well, one o' my nephews or nieces will explain it all to ya when we get ya to 'El City', pal. Kapish?" said a still giggling time lady.

"I must defer to your wishes, Madam Karpathia. Pray tell- how long will this, um, 'voyage', last?" asked Alfred, helping himself to some of Jamie's descendant's scones. They were quite delicious.

"Uh, lessee. We just left the Terran 20th Century and we're goin' to 23rd Century Shim so-- that's only a hundred thousand 'lightys'-- say, two days, give or take a solar hour or two." yawned his hostess.

"And what, pray tell, is a 'lighty', Miss Gally?" he asked quietly.

"Huh? Oh, that's what we call a 'light year'. The distance from the Sun to the Earth that light travels in a year. I think that is how 'Scarfy' (Doctor No. 4) explained it to me, man. Ask Leila for the details if ya really wanna know. I'm sleepy. I need to return to my catnap. Leila!! Get your cute tushy out here on the double, girlie!" replied Gally, bellowing for Jamie's companion.

"Madam? You must surely be mistaken. Light travels at the rate of 186 million miles per second! It is physically impossible to exceed the speed of light!" shouted Alfred.

"Of course lightspeed's possible, you dimwit! You never heard of 'warp speeds', man?" she asked incredulously and then remembered that there was no such thing as a 'warp' in the 20th Century.

"You bellowed, Gally? What d'ya want now? Damnation! If I knew that we had guests, I'd have dressed! Pardon my kimono, mister! Well? What d'ya want, pest?" demanded the most lovely red-headed creature that Alfred had ever laid eyes upon in his long life! Had he died and gone to Heaven? Surely this Angel was not real?

"Our other guest is in Zoe's old room. Take Alfred here to Stephen's old room across the hall from her. Dinner's at 1700, Alfie. That means five o'clock, man." called Gally after the departing duo.

"Yes, Miss Gally. I do know military time, mum." he said stiffly and Leila took him firmly by the arm and guided him towards the door to the bedrooms portion of the vessel.

"Don't mind Gally, Pops. Her bark's a lot worse than her bite, man. Ya wanna check on the old lady, Alf? Sure, here ya go. Jamie gave her a couple o' 'Hydroxylein' capsules to calm her down. Here's yer room. Know how to use a 'replicator'? Just tell it what ya want and it makes it for ya. See ya at five, man. Yes, I will be wearing more than this old bathrobe at dinner, Alf." chuckled Leila and she turned to go.

"Do we, um, dress for dinner, Miss Leila? Formal attire, I mean?" asked the older gentleman and she smiled.

"Nope. Wear whatever ya wanna, man. Two more days. Um, I did hear Gally say that we're going to 'Shim', didn't I?" asked Leila. Alfred nodded and closed his door behind her.

"Curiouser and curiouser. My goodness. Everyone knows who Master Bruce and Master Dick are really? Extraordinary. Well, I could do with a bit of a rest." mumbled Alfred to himself.

"May I call you for dinner, sir?" asked a voice coming from everywhere at once!

"Who said that? Show yourself, sir." demanded Alfred, reaching for a fireplace andiron.

"I cannot do that, sir. I am Mistress Galatea's computer programming unit. You may call me 'Tod', sir." replied the voice.

"Oh, very well. You may call me at a quarter to five, um, 'Tod'. Thank you." said Alfred, yawning. It had been a tiresome day.

"Very good, sir. Pleasant dreams." replied the voice.

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"I got a real strange feeling about this planet, Boss. You sure that this place is uninhabited?" asked Vash the Stampede, stuffing three more doughnuts into his mouth.

"You are such a p-i-g, pig, Vashie! Don't ya know that it ain't polite to talk with your mouth full, man?" sighed a perturbed 'Derringer' Merrill Stryfe. The 'Gunsmoke Gang' had been speedily pressed into service when the Boss had been ordered to take her flagship, the 'Lovely Angel 2', to her home world of 'Workoh' in the mysterious 'Omega Quadrant'.

Nobody else had fancied trekking halfway across the known Universes in the middle of winter. When Vash and Reverend Wolfwood had heard about the trip, however, they had volunteered themselves and the 'Insurance Girls' and Legato Bluesummers for the voyage. Without bothering to tell them where they were heading until after they had lifted off from 'Elenore City', of course!

"Relax, Gunslinger Boy. I was the sole survivour there until I was ten years old, man. When I left with my 'Mugghi'- (a six and a half foot tall nekomata cat thing that the Boss had kept as a pet)- the place was deserted. We got nuttin' to worry about at all." chortled the tall red-headed Amazon Hellcat firebrand who was now the Supreme Marshall of the Aquarian Galaxy. She was making the trip without her Vice Marshall, Yuri Donovan, who was helping the colonists on 'Victorine'. Kome Sawaguchi was tooling around with the 'Outlaw Star' as a gunner's mate. Marlene Angel- newly promoted Air Marshall of Minerva- was on a mission to rescue the 'Bebops' from the 'Nighthawk's evil and villainous commander. Lord Vicious was well named indeed!

Unknown to her, however, at this very moment in time, Mar and her 'LA5' were streaking towards home- Shimougou- having rescued Jett Black, Spike Steigel, Faye Valentine and Edward Appledore along with Ein the Data Doggie from the 'Nighthawk's evil clutches. Having no authority within the Romulan/Zygon 'Neutral Zone', she had been forced to spirit away the four 'cowboys and cowgirls' and their 'Bebop' starship and make a hasty retreat back to N-Space and then turn for home.

What had become of Vicious and his cronies aboard the 'Nighthawk'? She neither knew nor did she care to stick around and find out! Her mission had been to rescue the 'Nighthawk' prisoners and that she had already accomplished. Time for them to go back home and Vicious be damned!

"I fear that I must agree with Vash, Reds. (Kei grimaced. She loathed that nickname!) Something just does not feel quite Kosher. Your pardon, Father Evergreen! I meant no disrespect to our faith, Your Eminence!" said a worried Nicholas D Wolfwood who was staring out of the ship's 'window'.

"None taken, me boyo. Madam O'Halloran, mum? Why was it necessary for both myself and Nickie to accompany you? We had several weddings planned on 'Vic', ye know?" asked Father Chapel the Evergreen, late of the 'Gung Ho Guns of Gunsmoke'. Like the other 'Guns', he too had turned over a new banna leaf and was now practicing what he preached.

"Ever hear tell of the 'Cybremen'? The Daleks? The Gundamites? Didn't think so, me boyos. We are going to 'Workoh' to seek out 'Mobile Gundam' fighting suits and to be on the lookout for more Daleks and those dreaded pests- 'Cybremen'. The 'G Boys' think tank are of the opinion that all three groups are being banded together under one banner, so to speak- headed up by our old foe. Suffice it to say- Yuck! I'm spending too much time around the Vacuumhead!- they are all bad boys and out to control the Universes, if not Time itself." explained the Commander.

"What foe, mum?" asked a yawning 'Stun Gun' Millie Thompson, the other half of Vash's 'Insurance Girls'. She had been dozing at her post. She and Merrill were two of the ship's gunners.

"That would be our old pal, 'Zygmund Davros', my friends." said the 'Leprechaun', Doctor No. 7. He'd been chosen for this mission because, of all of the other time lords and time ladies, he, alone, had tangled with all three of their opponents and their new fearless leader, Davros, on several different occasions. Mel Bush and Ace Johnston had immediately volunteered for duty and had been speedily accepted. Then they had wished that they had kept their big yaps shut! They too were gunners, but they were under the command of the new weapons officer, Colonel Regina Phillips and she brooked no interference with her orders!

"Is it too late to turn around and go back home?" asked 'Wasp Girl' Susan Stinger.

"Buck up, girl! The Doc's pulled us through tougher gigs than this one, man." Periwinkle Brown reassured the frightened teenager from the 'Big Apple' of a couple of centuries ago. Peri was the ship's 'yeoman' or record keeper and file clerk. Susan was her assistant. They had both been selected because of their familiarity with Daleks and Cybremen.

"I dunno, man. I still got a bad feelin' about this place, Reds. What a dump!" Vash adjusted his spectacles and lit a cheroot.

"I'll thank ya to keep a civil tongue in yer head when ya talk about my homeland, sir." growled the Boss. She too had a lit cheroot in her mouth. "Take us down, Saavy and don't drop our 'cloak'. These old boyos may just be right, kids." she added thoughtfully.

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"Voldevort! Take us down but do not drop our 'cloak'. Better we be safe than sorry, eh? We were damned lucky to make it out of the Zone undetected. We'll lay low here for awhile- say a week- and then we'll head for 'Dariabar Six' to meet up with our new friend and benefactor." said a grim-faced Lord Vicious.

"How in the Universes did old Oakbrain ever manage to escape from the 'Matrix', milord?" asked Seamus O'Malley. This man had been loyal to Vicious ever since he had joined the 'Red Dragons of Mars' all of those many decades ago. Aboard the 'Nighthawk', he was second in command only to Vicious himself. Besides which, the pair were damned good friends.

"What d'ya think, Gael? Behind that outcropping of green rock? There's a small river there." said Voldevort, the craft's adept pilot. Seamus nodded sagely and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Well thought, my friend. We can see the enemy coming from all sides. In a pinch, we could blow that dam above the marshes and escape in the confusion. Make it so, laddie." rumbled the big Irishman.

"Shamey, make sure that you leave a few guards aboard the ship. Then take an away team and scout out the terrain once we make planetfall. The 'widow' (The 'Black Widow' was chief gunner) and her ladies can start din din while the rest of us set up camp. We still have some o' those 'building capsules' that we 'liberated' from that space rig on 'Victorine'?" chuckled Vicious who, for once, seemed to be in a good mood. He was no fun when he was in a bad mood, baby!

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"Commander, sir? I sense an alien presence on the planet, sire." said Vice Controller Gyllead to his 'Cybreman' Leader.

"Where is that, Vice Controller? I sense nothing at all. However, I must defer to your superior telepathics." replied his Leader. Their 'camp' was on the opposite riverbank and directly across from Vicious's goons. Like his enemy, he had ordered the 'mantle of invisibility' drawn tightly above their whole campsite and so they too were not visible to the 'Nighthawk' crew.

"Over yonder, sire. At least twenty or thirty souls- mostly alien and human. Shall I send out a probe?" asked Gyllead, but his Leader shook his head.

"Negative. Perhaps they have merely landed to make repairs or to replenish their foodstuffs and water supplies. We will give them a few days. Our orders from Lord D were to remain hidden at all costs. Remember too that we are but five to their thirty. Has Geologist Special Officer Yaggalak found any of that 'accursed metal' yet?" asked the Commander. Gold was 'cybre death' to these 'Cybremen' and the 'G' word was never used by any of them- on pain of instant termination!

"Negative, sire. It appears that we may have erred in that respect. This does appear to be a dead world bereft of all native life forms. That subterranean city which we found was quite ancient, sire." said Lord Gyllead.

"We will remain here for three more solar days, seventy-two solar hours, Vice Controller. If, by that time, we have still not found any of the accursed metal, we shall depart from here and fly directly to that triple-sunned planet to our South and West. What is it called, Gyllead?" asked his superior officer.

"Shimougou, my lord. It is quite close to the world known as Mars in the Aquarian Galaxy, sire." replied the Vice Controller.

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"You have done well, Marlene. You too, Miss Saavik. Have you explained to the 'Beboppers' the reason why they must make the trip to 'Victorine'?" said Territorial Sector Chief Charles Augustus Milverton Garner.

"More to the point- have they agreed to remain here in 'Elenore City' until the next 'window' opens in a few days, Mar?" asked Aquarian Galaxy Chief Andre Francis Gooley. The 'LA5' had docked a few hours ago after a successful rescue mission and now the Air Marshall and her new Lt Commander Saavik were being debriefed at Western HQ of the 3WA by three of the 'G Boys'. Gustav and Galadriel were with the Federation Senate on Alderaan.

"Yup. They said no sweat so long as they don't have to stay on 'Vic' more'n a few weeks, man. Anyone want a drink or some nosh?" chuckled Vice Territorial Sector Chief Donald Poporo, popping the top on his sixth 'Lykorian Lager' beer container. 'Mr Popo' was to make the voyage aboard the 'Bebop' as an 'advisor' to the colonists. He was to remain on 'Vic' for three monthlets and he was as excited as a kid with a new toy. He was to use a newly renovated 'Type 88' drilling suit to help the colonists to find the precious water that they would need to survive on their new home world.

He had no idea, of course, that Ahura Gladius Mazdan, their gigantic kindly Djinn had already solved the colonists' water problems for them! The colonists knew about the water, but as Mr Mazdan had not yet revealed himself to them, they were as much in the dark as to how these major miracles had been achieved as anyone!

"Go easy on that stuff, Popo! Remember. You're the designated driver tonight." said Gooley.

"He looks more like our designated drinker, Andy. Guess one of us will be piloting us home tonight. OK. I don't have anything else for the kids. You, Andy? Popo? No? Fine. This debriefing is now over. You guys don't mind staying at the Academy again, do ya? The 'LA5' will be taking more supplies to 'Vic' when the next 'window' opens on Friday. Until then, everyone's on shore leave. Oh and do try not to get us banned from any more bars, please? Thank Kami that the Vacuumhead's on 'Vic' and the firebrand's visiting her old stomping grounds again." said Charlie Garner.

"Yeah. After all, what trouble can they get into anyway? One's on a new world and the other one's on a dead world. Here's to peace and tranquility at last." said Andy, toasting Charlie and Don. Mar and Saavy had saluted and left for the rooftop parking docks where Mar's new speeder was berthed. The rest of her crew had been dismissed as soon as they'd landed and they had been transported to various locations throughout the largest city on Shimougou.

"Whew! Man, is it ever hot, Mar! I thought that we were in the middle of winter?" grumbled Saavy, turning the resonator control of the speeder's cooling units up full blast.

"It is, dummy. Didn't ya ever hear about our global warming problems? Wait'll summer gets here. You'll freeze yer bum off." laughed Marlene, shrugging off her jacket and pulling off her heavy deck boots before getting behind the controls of her new green and yellow toy which she'd christened 'Packer Lady'.

"Whoa there, gal! You ain't goin' 'Gypsy Rose Lee' there, are ya?" giggled the Vulcan girl, taking a long swig of bottled water.

"Get real, silly. Is my hair red or purple? Whew! I think that it might be getting warmer. Get your hand clear of your gull wing door. I'm sealing the top too. Ready? Here we go. Next stop, Academia. Wagons roll!" said the grinning blonde and off they rocketed- away from the burning triple suns. The speeder ate up the aether and in another few minutes, they had touched down on the roof of one of the smaller dormitories. Mar had a permanent suite on the top floor- a penthouse no less!

When they had finally stepped into the coolness of the huge 'great room' of the suite, Saavy thought for sure that they were at New York's Grand Central Station! Mar was allowing the entire bridge crew of the 'LA5' and the four 'Beboppers' to bunk in with her and Saavy. Saavy's eyes popped when she saw Ed holding Ein out of the open window- some three thousand feet above the ground! She raced to the window just in time to get spritzed with Ein's sticky urine! Yuck!

"Edward! I told you to take that mutt outside to relieve himself, not hold him out the window!" yelled Faye Valentine who was playing poker with the 'Mayberry' newcomers- Sam Jones, Millie Swanson, Clara Edwards (No relation to Lt Nat and Trace), Howard Sprague, Goober Pyle and Emmit Clark. His wife and Alice Jones were in the kitchen cooking lunch and young Mike Jones was throwing a baseball at the unbreakable transparent windows!

"Dealer takes two. Raise ya a hundred." said Faye, holding her Skotch glass up for a refill.

"There! Gin!!" yelled the pert blonde Millie.

"Millie! I told ya. We are playing poker, not Gin Rummy!" yelled Howard.

"Then I cain't go fish, Howard?" asked Goober who was wearing his 'Jughead' hat as usual.

"Call. I am certainly glad that you talked Mr Steigel out of our playing strip poker, Sam." said Clara.

"Huh? We can if ya wanna, Miz Edwards. Right, guys?" said the big guy with the metal arm, Jett Black, with a chuckle.

"No, that's all right, Mr Black, sir. Do I bid trumps or spades, Sam?" asked Millie who hadn't a clue what game they were playing.

"That's in bridge, Mill. This is poker. Gimme another beer outta the fridge, somebody. Mike! You know that ball playing is done outside! Do you want to break another window? Call." said Sam.

"Has anyone seen my underpants?" asked a completely naked and wet robot-girl whose metal tail was striking sparks from the bannister while the water was dripping off her lithe young body.

"Oh my goodness! Sam! That young lady has no clothes on!" yelped Clara.

"I thought ya said that we wasn't playin' strip poker, guys?" grumbled Spike.

"Mira Yurizaki! You know better than that, young lady! Go and put something on! Sorry, folks. Oh yeah- I fold." said Kyoma Mabuchi. These two were 'coil collectors' of stuff from someplace called 'Dimension W'!

"I told ya! I cannot find my suitcases, Kyoma!" screamed Mira, not caring in the least that she was putting on a free peep show for everyone!

"Then wear something of mine, 'Kitty Kat'. These guys are slobbering at the mouth and champing at the bit. Royal Flush." said Faye, accepting a refill of her Skotch & soda from a 'server 'droid'.

"Damn! How does she do it, Sam? I thought sure that I had her with a straight! Honey! Got any cookies out there?" yelled Emmit. He was Mayberry's 'fix it man', but when he had started beating on the 'replicators' with a rubber hammer, Neko Olson had taken it away from him and boxed his ears! Someone had suggested poker instead.

Now the whole place resembled the opening scene from 'Hunter'! Elly Mae Clampett and Daisy Duke trooped past the company wearing very daring bikini bathing suits on their way to 'catch some rays' on the roof! Whistles and catcalls followed them.

"No more than fifteen minutes, girls! Those three suns will fry you to a crisp if you stay out there any longer!" warned Auntie Beatrice Taylor. "Alfred! Are the canapes ready yet?" she called to the very proper butler.

"Coming, Madam Taylor. Has anyone seen Mrs Cooper?" replied Alfred Pennyworth. He and Auntie Harriet Cooper had been dumped off at Mar's place by Lady Galatea earlier that morning. Then Gally had returned to her Type 40 TARDIS to continue her mission to Gallifrey.

"I seen her, Mr Alfred, sir. She's in the 'star room' trying to call some place called 'Gotham City' on the telephone thing." answered Mike Jones who had stopped tossing his ball at the windows and had discovered vidgames.

"Three more days of this and I will go insane, Mar. Where's the closest tavern that we ain't been banned from yet, man?" asked Saavy who looked cooler in halter and Bermuda shorts than she had in that heavy flightsuit.

"Three blocks down Jupiter Plaza, then cut across the park to Lapis Lazulis Lane. Place is called 'Hangman's Noose'. I don't think that we've worn out our welcome there- yet. Hang on a bit. I'll get changed and go with ya. Anyone else fancy a brewski or two?" said Mar, shouting to be heard above the raucous din. Giving it up at last, she shrugged her shoulders and disappeared into her bedroom.

"OK. Let's go. Parking's lousy over at the 'Noose' this time of day. Let's 'jet' over there instead. Put these on, Saavy." said Mar, handing her friend a pair of 'jet trainer sneakers' and lacing on her own. She was wearing a light tee shirt, jeans and a windbreaker to cover her small Mark III miniblaster. As a 3WA officer, she was required to be armed at all times. She pulled on her 'Patriots' cap and handed one to Saavy.

"We won't be out too long, kiddies. Keep lunch warm for us, please." she called over her shoulder and then she and the Vulcan girl activated their 'jet shoes' and stepped out the window. The flight through the aether took less than a minute and they touched down at the portals to the saloon where their hands were both 'stamped' and 'scanned'. When the 'scanner' beeped, Mar and Saavik produced their 3WA vid ID cards and the shiny '3WA' and the ranks of 'Air Marshall' and 'Lt Comdr' made the 'greeter's eyes pop outta their sockets as he speedily led them to an empty table.

"Rank has its perks, Saavy. If the Boss was with us though, we'd get kicked out for sure." giggled Mar, tasting her icy cold white Zinfandel and nodding her approval at the 'wine 'droid' while Saavy took a swig of her 'Tres Quatro' beer.

"Let's skip lunch now that the weather's turned cooler. I wanna explore the city, man." suggested Saavy and Mar sighed.

"OK. But, remember that we're on call so we might get 'trilled' back at any time. Got it?" said Marlene, digging out her vidwallet. "This one's on me, kiddo. Garcon?" she added and a fat rotund little 'Ferengi' bustled over to them.

"Oh no, Madam Marshall. 'She' is not with you, I hope?" asked the worried alien, glancing around the bar.

"Nah, she ain't, Rudy. She's away offworld for a few weeks. So's the other one. Can't say where though. What are the damages, my friend?" laughed Mar but the Ferengi waved away her wallet.

"No charge today, Marlene. We, uh, heard how ya rescued the 'Bebop' quartet and they spend a bundle in here. Nice to see ya, Vulcan." he replied, leering at poor Saavy.

"Thanks, Rudy. Have a nice day. Bye." said Mar, pocketing her vidwallet. Then she noticed the strange look on Saavy's face.

"What's with that creep, man?" she asked. "Did ya see the way he was looking at me?" she added.

"Oh, it ain't you. He's just not used to seeing women with their clothes on yet. On 'Ferrengastan', where he hails from, only the men wear clothes. Their women are only allowed to dress if they are traveling offworld. Oh and he likes Vulcans. C'mon. Let's motor. I'm not going exploring without 'Packer Lady'. We'll 'jet' back home and see if Elly and Daisy wanna take a ride with us. Wonder what's happening back at the suite?" said Mar and Saavy's mouth dropped open.

"You'll get used to things, kid. Let's split." said Mar and they had soon reclaimed the speeder and invited the now almost 'fricaseed' bathing beauties to go for a jaunt. They had hastened downstairs to dress and now all four ladies were rocketing across the aether while Mar was pointing out the sights of 'EC' and the others were 'oohing' and 'ahhing' all over the place.

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"Look at this, everyone! It looks like a huge footprint!" shouted Mr Peabody and everyone came rushing over to see what the little pest was yapping about this time. However, this time it really was something. The 'footprint' was that of a sandaled foot at least six or seven metres long and half as wide! It was right beside the new lake at the 'staging area'. About twenty feet beyond the 'lake' but on the opposite shore, Helga Schmidt and Manny Hochstetter had found an identical footprint and they seemed to be heading up the side of the big mountain behind 'Stalag 13'.

They all raced back to the huts for their weapons and then they all began tracking the 'beast'! A few miles from their campsite, the footprints ended. Then the twin suns were blotted out and although it was still late afternoon, the sky became as dark as night!

"So! You are my new neighbours, eh? I have provided for your water needs, my friends. A stream and a lake here; a new well and a river at the campsite at the foot of my mountain and a reservoir and an 'arroyo' for your wondrous new city. Incidentally, you have chosen to build your city on the exact site where 'Damagog' once stood many millennia ago.

"Your pardons I beg! I am 'Ahura Gladius Mazdan' and I am what your people call a 'Djinn'. I am the sole survivour of the once beautiful world of 'Zamarkand'. You are welcome to share my world. Up here, if you please. Pardon me! I am blotting out your twin suns! I will rest my weary self on this mountaintop. I am fatigued from my exertions upon your behalf.

"Much better. Fear me not. I have been moving amongst you invisibly so as not to alarm you unduly. Have any of you a wish or two? No, Miss Poe. I know what you are thinking and I am sorry to say that although I can become smoke at will, I do not reside in a jar, a box or a bottle and you need not rub anything to summon me forth. Come now, not even a small wish?" rumbled the giant, who was twice as tall as 'Mt Peabody' which had been christened as such because the small white doggie had been the first one to discover it.

"I sure wish that I hadn't have left my backpack in the hut, Darling. I'd love to take a video of this fellow." whispered Helga to her new husband, the former Gestapo major.

"Granted. Behold!" said Ahura, tossing her backpack to the frightened German blonde beauty who almost missed catching it.

"My right profile is my best feature, Mrs Hochstetter. Anyone else? No? Well, just think your wishes and I will grant them. No, Mr Walker, sir. There is no limit, although others of my kind may have only allowed three wishes per customer. I weary of this talk. I will return to see you tonight. No, little doggie. Your name will remain for my mountain. See? I am not dangerous. I ask only that you do not engage in warring betwixt thyselves. That was how our once beautiful world was destroyed and devastated long long agone.

"Aha! Two of your supply ships have just departed from 'Elenore City' to come here. The 'Lovely Angel 5' whose commander is the lovely blonde, Marlene Angel and the 'Bebop', whose captain is the large giant with the metal arm, Mr Jett Black. They will arrive here in three of your solar days. For now, I bid ye all adieu. Take care, my friends." rumbled Ahura and then he vanished as quickly as he had appeared!

"My word! We are sharing our new home with a 'genie'!" said Mr Peabody, adjusting his monocle and wiping his forehead.

"I prefer 'Djinn' to 'Genie', sir. 'Genie' is so effeminate, don't y'know?" said Ahura's mighty voice although the being himself remained invisible to them.

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"What happened to Angie Poo, Eveie?" asked the other half of the 'Dynamite Kiss Dolls'. Blackie was sitting beside her partner in the 'shotgun' seat of the huge space rig which the girls had 'borrowed' from the 'Victorine Motor Pool'.

"She stayed behind with her Pop, Blackie. Where did ya say that ya saw that glittery cave on our way down?" growled the blonde who was trying to pilot the hige vessel over the summit of 'Mt Peabody' and she was barely clearing it.

"I dunno. I think it was back that way a few miles. I didn't know that you knew how to fly, Eveie. Think ya could learn me?" yawned the sleepy brunette. "Hold it, man! Down there- three o'clock or is that four o'clock? I wish I knew how to tell time, man! Yo! Find us a place to park! I saw that glittery stuff in that cave right down there, man!" yelled an excited Blackie.

"Teach you? I'm just wingin' it myself, Blackie. I sure hope that old dinosaur guy don't notice that this rig's missin' from his motor pool. Hey! I see it now too! Funny. I never heard of a gold mine this high up a mountainside, man. Looks wide enough and high enough for the rig. I'll put us down inside the cavern. There! Down safe and sound.

"I'll scout around to see what's what. In the meantime, you better put some clothes on, Dumbass. Ya can't go explorin' in a towel! Hmmn. Don't look like no mine I ever seen, kiddo. Pass me that laser torch from the glove box. Don't worry. I won't be long. You can set up camp for us while I'm gone. Use them 'capsules' o' Dr Brief's in the back o' the rig. Just toss 'em on the ground. OK? I'll be back afore ya know it, Honey. Wish me luck." said Eveie, shouldering her plasma rifle and igniting the laser sword 'torch'. Then she was gone.

"Good luck, Eveie. Don't get killed or nothin', man!" yelled Blackie, the echoes of her voice deafening the blonde who was already 200 metres deep in the cavern, her 'jet boots' rocketing her further and further away from her dark-haired companion.

Ten minutes later, Blackie cautiously crawled into the 'semi' portion of their rig and pulled on a flightsuit and deck boots. She slid her trusty 'katana' Samurai sword into its sheath which was strapped across her back. She slipped a 'small' Mark XII disruptor blaster into its holster and then she used her laser 'torch' to heat up a few rocks which she had found arranged in a circle.

POOF! POOF! POOF! Three unusual looking 'buildings' were now standing behind the makeshift 'campsite'. The brunette girl dusted off her pants and lit up a cigarette by pressing its tip against one of the 'hot rocks'. Eveie had taken her cigarette lighter and matches away from her when she had 'accidentally' burned down the hotel that they were crashing in back in 20th Century Terran 'Roanispur'.

Next, she arranged the two 'food rations' packets on the bed of moss which she had used to start a small fire for them. As soon as the packets were smoking, she carefully tipped them onto a 'replicated' table and poured bit of water on each and hey presto! Two steak dinners complete with all the fixings and two cans of ice cold 'Lygurian Lager' beer.

"Eve-ie!! Lunch is ready, man!!" she screamed at the top of her young lungs and an extraordinary thing happened. The wall disappeared and so did the light from the twin suns streaming in from outside of the cavern! Cool and calm as she always was, Blackie panicked and began blasting away at the shadows and anything else that moved- including the fire!

"That will be quite enough of that, young lady! Give that to me. Young ladies should never play with firearms- especially young ladies as beautiful as you seem to be, my dear child. Must you be so noisy? It took me ages to fall asleep and thou hast awakened me." roared a voice from the darkness.

Blackie's blaster was yanked from her grasp and she fell down flat on her bum! She yanked out 'Laurina', her trusty 'katana' and held it out in front of herself while her wild cat-like eyes raked the area illumined by the firelight and she saw- nothing!

"Show yourself, cowardly cur! Or do you gets yer jollies by scarin' poor innocent defenseless girls outta their wits, man?" yelled the 'DK Doll' angrily.

Raucous laughter filled the cavern just as Eveie came racing back to the campsite, leveling her plasma rifle and sending a blue bolt of ionic energy right at and through the thing that was slowly materializing in front of her astonished eyes! So tall was this apparition that he was forced to lower his head almost to his knees and the poor guy looked as uncomfortable as Hell!

"Please! Ladies! I beg your pardons for not revealing myself sooner! I think that I had better take this and this from thee, children. Then we will continue this discussion out of doors." roared the immense bearded giant who was wearing a dark morning suit complete with cravat, spats, white gloves and black topper! He was also carrying a 'cane' or 'walking stick' in his gloved fist only it was really a small tree!

He had plucked Black's 'katana' and Eveie's rifle from the frightened girls as easily as you might have have taken a toothpick from a young human child! The giant led the way out of the cavern and into the bright sunlights from the twin suns with the two girls following him warily. The 'Dolls' had already left the 'staging area' when Ahura Gladius Mazdan had made his debut to the other settlers.

"Hmmn. I see that you are both well-armed under your attires. However, rest assured that I will not ask you to disrobe. None of your toys can harm me in the slightest. He tossed down blaster, rifle and blade and signed for the girls to reclaim their properties which they wasted absolutely no time in doing!

"I apologize for frightening you, my children. I am a 'Djinn' and--" began the giant.

"A 'Genie'? A real live honest to Kami 'Genie'? Better not fXXX with us or we'll stick ya back in yer lamp, buster! I means it!" shouted a defiant Blackie.

"Yo! Stupid! If he is a 'Genie', he can grant wishes. He can wish us back through the time Contimuum barrier and back to good old Terra! Earth, Dumbass!" whispered Eveie to her compadre and Ahura (For of course it was he! Whom else could it be?) chuckled loudly. He didn't even admonish them for the 'Genie' insult.

"Yes, Father Ahura Gladius Mazdan can indeed grant wishes, children. However, sending you back home through the time barrier is beyond even my powers, Evelyn Jane Rockford. And I do not reside in a lamp, box, bottle or whatever else they say about us 'Djinn' in your Terran folklores, Kira Lorraine Yamaguchi. You may call me Ahura, children. Now, I imagine that you are both quite hungry? (Both girls nodded eagerly and Blackie rubbed her tummy and pointed to her open mouth! Blackie is quite baka stupid.) Have no fear. Although Miss Yamaguchi's fireworks display hath ruined your dinners, I can easily rectify matters for you. Behold! Eat and drink to thy hearts' content!" rumbled Ahura and instantly a huge table filled with goodies of all kinds appeared before the astounded girls. They were still trying to figure out how Ahura knew their full names which neither girl had ever revealed to anyone save each other!

As soon as any dish was emptied by their voracious appetites or any pitcher became dry of liquid refreshment, it was instantly filled again- like magic! Well, he is a 'Djinn', ain't he, folks?

While they ate and he drank from a drinking horn the size of a bath tub, Ahura explained his strange history to them and told them all about his new 'friends'- the colonists. Evelyn (Her father was Jim Rockford, the 20th Century California private eye. Eve had run away from home when she she was twelve.) listened attentively, fascinated by his tales. Not so Kira (This child had been trained by her grandfather in the arts of killing. He had been a mighty 'daimyo sensei' Shogunnite leader in Terran Japan until Kira had almost beheaded the poor chap! Ashamed of her lack of skills, she had packed up her goodies and 'Laurina' and left his 'dojo' for good not long thereafter.) who was bored and sleepy so she merely yawned a few times, stripped off her flightsuit and deck boots and curled up by the cavern's entrance 'au natural'. Ahura produced a blanket and pillow from the aether and tucked in the cute little minx tigress.

"By the by, Evelyn- your 'borrowing' of a rig and its contents has been discovered and the white doggie is zeroing in on your 'vidcellphone's comm relay signals. Yes, I understand, child. The pair of ye are hopelessly lost and ye have discovered that this cave is not a gold mine. Instead, ye have discovered an underground city. That city is 'Zerzura' and once upon a time, it was the shining jewel of your Terran Sahara Desert. Built by Crusaders returning from the wars to Europe, they became hopelessly lost and built this wondrous fortress city which I transported here at the behest of my people of 'Zamarkand'." explained the kindly 'Djinn' to Eveie.

"It is what you now call 'Victorine', Evelyn dear. I read minds as easily as you might read the morning 'vidpape', child. I grow weary again. Know this before I leave thee. Before the setting of yonder twin suns, your friends will arrive and take ye back to this 'staging area' as they refer to the place. I fear that your leader will be quite cross with thee and Kira. However, Allison doth a kindly heart have within her small breast and all will be well once more. Farewell, my little flowers of 'Zerzura'." said Ahura before he vanished in a cloud of smoke.

"There you are! Boy, are you guys ever in trouble, man! Dynamo almost blew a gasket when he discovered 'Teggie's rig was gone! Wake up, sleepyhead! Rise 'n shine, Sweetie!" said Ranger Jimmy Trivette, flipping the blanket off of Blackie and then doing a double take. Boy! Was his face red!

"If I were like Willy Klink, you would each get a monthlet in the 'cooler' for this escapade. However, you did discover a hidden city beneath the surface and 'Gladdy' told me that you had meant no harm so- I will overlook it- this time. Next time though--" warned a stern-faced President Poe.

"Ain't gonna be no next time, mum. And you can take that to the bank, Excellency. C'mon, Blackie. We beat that rap." said Eveie.

"Not quite, ladies. Report to the kitchens. You have KP duty for the next monthlet. That should keep you both out of mischief." said Lady Galatea. The time lady had just returned from her mission to Gallifrey and had finished her debriefing session with Allie Poe only moments before the two miscreants had returned.

"Ya means that ye're gonna let this bitch give the orders around here, Alley Cat?" demanded Blackie who'd polished off a case of 'Lygerian Lager' on the trip back to the 'staging area'. The blonde grabbed her by the arm and frog-marched her out the portals.

"Yes'm. Very fair punishment, ma'am. When will you ever learn to keep that big mouth of yours shut, Dumbass? That 'bitch' is replacing Allison as the new Gallifrey/Federation/3WA/Shimougou and Mars 'liaison officer' and she's even older'n Allie!" said Eveie, dropping her voice to a whisper when they had left the office.

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"Well! Not a very bad job for a bunch of stupid colonists, man. I won't mind becoming their new king, that I certainly will not mind, Lord Karrolton. You have done well indeed- for a disgraced Councillor. You will receive your thirty pieces of silver, sir and I consider thirty billion UniCreds a bargain. After all, I am buying an entire world- for a song! Ha! Ha! Ha!" chortled a voice from the shadows outside of the President's offices.

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"I still say that there is someone else here, Boss." said a worried Vash the Stampede to his Commander, Supreme Marshall O'Halloran. They had just touched down with the 'LA2' upon the surface of 'Workoh'.

"This time I gotta agree with the doughnut freak, Reds. Something strange is in the aether." said Nick Wolfwood who was sitting astride his motorcycle which had his 'Cross Box' strapped on behind the reverend.

"Perhaps a scouting expedition is in order, Madam Marshall? I sense the presence of two groups. One on either riverbank. You feel it too, don't you, Legato?" asked Father 'Chapel the Evergreen' who was fingering his 'Exorcist Special .45' holy bullets pistols.

"Unh huh. I do feel something, Excellency and it feels positively evil. May I suggest that Vash, Nick and I check out this river first?" replied Legato Bluesummers. With the exception of Vash, these men had all once been part of the 'Gung Ho Guns' gang on 'Gunsmoke' and Chapel had been Nick's mentor. Blue had been the gang's leader although he reported directly to Vash's brother, Knives. The latter was now cooling his jets on 'Seto Kaibo' where he would remain for another five centuries. The poor fool had attempted to assassinate 'Supreme Commander Madam President Solo' at Kurestan on Alderaan. The high justices had been unsympathetic to Mr Mason's pleas for leniency much to the delight of Mr Ham Burger.

"You will need spiritual guidance and my 'mercy bullets', Legato so I had better accompany you. With Madam Marshall's permission of course?" said Chapel very softly and Kei nodded curtly.

"Make it so then. Nick's in charge and no arguments, boyos. It's like 1500 (3 PM) now and I want you bozos back no later than 1700 (5 PM) and stay in touch with us. Got it?" growled the Boss firebrand Hellcat in a tone that brooked no interference.

"Understood, mum. Vash- you and Blue each pilot a skysled. Excellency, you will ride with Blue. And don't forget to 'cloak'- yourselves and your crafts. We'll rendezvous at the mouth of the river. Let's move out." ordered Nick.

"Uh, what river, Nick?" asked a confused Vash and Chapel sighed and pointed to the ribbon of silver sparkling in the pale sunlight in the distance.

With a roar from his twin ion engines, Nick and his cycle winked out of sight and off he roared. Vash was next followed by Blue and Chapel who were similarly 'cloaked' and invisible to anyone's average eyesight. Of course, 'cloaks' never worked on the Ninja Hyuugans' 'Byakagun' eyes but they were back home on 'Shim'.

"OK. Let's start a quad-scan from the North to the South and another from the East to the West. Report anything unusual to me. I'll be in my quarters. Peri, you're with me. Now-- where was I, kid?" growled the Commander and Peri backscreened to the report which Kei'd been dictating for Garner.

"And so, you dirty old (expletive)(expletive) male Chauvinist pig, I demand that you send Mar and the 'LA5' to rendezvous with my flagship on 'Minerva' as soon as-- That's where you stopped dictating, Boss." read out Periwinkle Brown, Kei's current yeoperson. All of her previous yeoperson personnel had put in for transfers following a mission or two with 'She Who WILL Be Obeyed'. Peri was different. She adored the Boss and admired her spunk and no nonsense attitude.

"Better omit the expletives and the male Chauvinist pig crap and change 'demand' to 'request', OK?" said Kei.

"If I may suggest, mum- 'humbly request' might put Mr Garner into a better mood and--" began Peri.

"Don't push it, Ensign. Just using 'request' sounds a lot like I'm grovelin' at his feet, don't it?" seethed the Boss, pouring out Jameson's Irish whiskies for herself and Peri who was starting to develop a taste for the stuff! Poor kid!

"I'm a Subaltern, mum. Not an Ensign anymore." corrected the Floridian 'beach bunny' and Kei grinned.

"Nothing is forever, Sweetie. Oh, forget it. I'm in a foul mood today, dammit." she replied, swallowing five fingers of hooch in one gulp! Peri sipped hers appreciatively, having learned the hard way what happens when one tres to drink like an Angel drinks! She'd been sick for a week!

"And when aren't ya in a foul mood?" said Peri under her breath. If the Boss's keen hearing had picked up on it, she gave no sign of being angry- or rather- any angrier.

"Ya know, Boss. Charlie's not gonna send yet another Air Marshall out to this Kami-forsaken world. You're just wastin' yer breath and my time." slurred Peri and then bit her tongue.

"Your time? I'm wasting YOUR time, Suba Brown? Since when does a 'yeo' offer an opinion? And-- to me? Just comm relay that signal to Chuckie Boy and don't change another word of it. Understood?" snarled Kei and Peri was quaking in her sandals. "Oh and don't forget to spell 'Lattie' (Warrant One Jane Lattimer) on the scans at 1600 (4 PM)- after you send that off to Chuck Garner." added the Boss.

"Yes'm. Um, where is he these days, mum? Alderaan or Shimougou?" asked Peri.

"Shim." replied Kei, lighting a cheroot using a 'spill' from the fireplace.

"East or West?" she asked, meaning 3WA HQ in 'Furool (Foo-Lon) City' in the East or 'Elenore City' in the West.

"He's in 'EC' but his offices are at the Academy. Just ask 'Shimformation' for his address and vidcode numbers. Do I gotta do everything, Brown?" yelled Kei angrily. Must be the booze talkin'. thought Peri, making a hasty retreat. Balderdash! I sure as Hell hope that she ain't gonna insist on goin' on tomorrow's away mission to explore that underground Dalek city! Wherever Kei went, her shadow went as well. Peri and the Boss were inseparable.

"Rats! I was gonna take a nice long bubble bath tomorrow on the TARDIS and then play a few rounds of golf on the holodecks. After all, it IS my day off, isn't it?" mused Peri while she was tapping in the codes for the relay to Shimougou Central.

"Hi there. This is Suba Brown, 'LA2' here. Fine. You? Great. Listen, can ya patch me through to TSC Garner, please? He's at the Western Academy. No? He went where? Damnation! Sorry, captain. OK. I'm sending you a signal 'Eyes Only. Top Secret'. Make sure that you 'scramble' it and then comm relay it directly to Mr Garner's office. By the by, why'd he go all the way to 'Kagura', Ashley? You're kiddin'! No! Yeah, must be nice. The closest I ever get to a swanky course is the holodecks! OK. Here it comes. Got it? Good. Don't forget to 'scramble' it afore ya relay it to him. Don't muck it up, Ash. OK, but your tushie's grass if anything happens to it and-- 'She' will be the lawnmower! If ya get my drift, Honey? OK. Don't bite my head off, captain. I'm just the mailgirl! OK. Bye bye, Ashley. My best to everyone there. Toodles. Brown out." said Peri and then she sat down in her quarters with a nice steamy mug of hot cocoa and mint leaves. Then the chromo chimed four times.

"Subaltern Brown. Please report to scanning immediately. You are needed. That is all." blared out the squawkbox above Peri's head. She sighed and took her mug in hand and snagged her jacket. Then she strode swiftly to the lift.

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"OK, Dynamo. I'll bite. Where the Hell did ya hide the rig?" demanded Major Integra Wyngate van Helsing.

"Mon Dieu! (My God!) My crepe suzettes and streudels were on that truck, mon ami! Now they are gone!" cried a furious Louie LeBeau.

"Der streudels vere on der truck? I vill starve! Please make some more, little cockroach!" pleaded big fat Hans Schultz who was our resident glutton- especially when it came to Louie's cooking and baking.

"Never mind der damned streudels und French pancakes, Schultz! My easel and oil paints vere on dat truck!" sobbed Willy Klink. "Gruss Gott! (Good God!)!" he added while big Freddie Burkhalter tried to comfort the big crybaby.

"I do wish that you'd stop using profanity in front of my 'child', please. Especially 'that word'!" admonished Godric Northman, the ancient vampire.

"Wait a damned minute here! You're tellin' me that Will & Sonny's rig is missing, 'Teggie'?" rumbled the big Triceratops alien dinosaur 'truck push'. He tossed away his cigar butt and fired up another one of his foul smelling 'stogies' which caused Allison Poe to cough and retch. He ignored the poor time lady and threw open the sliding doors of the 'parking lot'.

Sure enough, like 'Teggie' van Helsing had been complaining, the parking dock slot assigned to her rig was empty! 'Ryuuk' and Light Yagami strolled over to see what all the commotion was about.

"Ya mean the big space rig that was in that slot, Colonel Dy?" asked the big ugly 'Shinigami death god' who was eating yet another apple.

"Hey! Slow down on them things, pal or I'll have to put ya on 'NutrySystem' or 'Weight Droppers', man." warned Light.

"Yes, the rig truck that was in that slot, Ry. Have you seen it?" asked Allie, attaching a sterile doctor's mask over her nose and mouth so that she could breathe a little easier.

"Sure thing, Miz Poe. Them two brats that came in with Miz van Helsing and Mr LeBeau flew it out this mornin' around three AM, I mean 0300 hours, mum. Why?" asked a puzzled death god, opening a new bushel basket of 'Golden Delicious' apples.

"You didn't think to ask them if they had permission from Mr Dynamo, ya big lummox?" demanded Light Yagami and 'Ryuuk' shook his huge head.

"I don't suppose that you thought to ask them where the Hell they were going, did ya, Ry?" demanded a very angry dinosaur alien. Light yanked Ry's tail viciously.

"O' course I did, Light! The brunette said they was goin' off to find a mine and the blonde asked me which way was West." explained 'Ryuuk'.

"What kind of mine, mon ami?" asked Louie curiously.

"She said a gold mine and to keep my yap shut about it. Oops! Guess I wasn't supposed to be a big blabbermouth, huh?" replied the big hulking death god.

By this time, the Texas Rangers had arrived on the scene. After all, as the soon to be law enforcement department here, they were the law on this new world. Walker had wormed the story out of Major Jeannie Huntley who was to be the new hospital's head nurse temporarily until Subaltern Dixie McCall arrived on the next transport ship.

"OK. Guess we'll have to go find 'em, folks. Jimmy- you and CD take a skysled and head West. Gage- you and Sidney take another sled and head North. Captain Hogg- you, Bo and Luke take an air car and head South. Paul and Alex- you're with me. We'll take one of the surace crafts and go East. Don't worry, guys. We'll soon find 'em. Wonder where that girl got the bright idea about a gold mine? Didn't Ahura tell us that there were no mines on this world at all?" said Brigadier Cordell Walker.

"We are talking about Eve and Blackie, aren't we? The two 'Dynamite Kiss Dolls', dearest. Those two morons would believe anything. Oh, hello there, Jed, Jethro, Granny, Ellie Mae. What are you doing here?" asked Lt Colonel Alexandra Cahill-Walker who was married to Cordell Walker.

"Seems like you folks are gettin' together a searchin' party. You'll need all the help ya kin gits. Jethro's got the Dukes's 'General Lee' racin' car and I've got Mr Stiles's Corvette sporty car so Jethro and Ellie Mae will go with Frank (Gage) and Sidney (Gage-Cooke) while Granny and me will tag along with Jimmy and Colonel Parker. The Drysdales are playin' that golf game with the Howells on the holly-deck (holodeck). Let's gits a-goin'." said Jed Clampett. Granny snorted.

"Golf huh? More'n likely it's just plain laziness, Jed. Did ya know that Mr Howell never gits up afore noon? And ya knows yerself, Jed, that Mr Drysdale never opened up that bank o' his'n back in Californy afore nine o' the clock! Wastes the whole damn mornin' they does. Here, Jethro. make yerself useful and put my ol' shootin' irons in that there automobile that Mr Stiles ain't finished buildin' yet." yelled Granny. Granny just didn't understand about convertible tops.

"Should we bring the engine truck and the rescue truck just to be on the safe side, Ranger Walker?" asked Captain Hank Stanley who was to command the new 'Victoria City Fire & Rescue Service 51' when it was built. Walker nodded and soon Chet Kelly, Mike Stokes, Marco and Henry, the fire station's pooch along with Hank, were racing off towards the West with the big hook and ladder fire engine rig. Johnny Gage and Roy deSoto's rescue truck weren't far behind them.

"Oh, I do love going for rides, don't you, Luna dear?" purred Artemis. She was sitting up on the rescue truck's console and watching through the windscreen.

"Yes, it does break up the monotony, Artemis love. Wake me when we find those two idiots, please." yawned Luna, snuggling up into a ball on Johnny's lap. Since Henry was the fire dog, Luna and Artemis had decided to become the 'rescue cats'.

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"Where d'ya think we are, guys?" asked the short cute brunette in the flowered kimono. A tiny flying squirrel, her pet, popped its head up out of her cleavage which one of her duet of male traveling companions had not taken his eyes from for the last ten minutes of their journey!

"I dunno. You're the dumbass that wanted to take this road ya know? I'm starvin', man!" said the tall 'ronin' fighter wearing biker shorts and a red shirt under his dirty patched dark blue kimono. Across his back was a huge 'katana' blade while a shorter 'Kadaschi' blade was strapped to his right hip.

"From the two suns' declination, I would estimate that we are proceeding in a Southeasterly direction. As they seem to be setting in the North behind us--" observed the very tall and skinny brainiac know-it-all 'ronin' Samurai wearing a pair of old-fashioned horn-rimmed tortoise shell spectacles. By his left side rested a pair of 'katana' blades. This third companion was a true Samurai, albeit one who had killed his 'sensei' and had been ostracized from his 'dojo' or training hall school.

"Wait a minute, Jin. I don't know very damned much about star gazin' and stuff, but I do know that there ain't but one sun up there, not two!" yelled Mugen, the 'ronin' wandering self-taught 'Samurai' fighter, ticking off his objections on his fingers.

"And I know that the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, Jin. What is it, Momo? Oh, it's just a flying machine of some kind. Nothing to worr-- Holy shit and shinola cookies! Look up there, guys! Jin's right! There are two suns and they are both sinking into the Northern horizon!" screeched Fuu. She and her pet, Momo, were the only females in the small group of travelers.

Mugen had already yanked out his sword while Jin had grasped his own blade, preparatory to drawing it forth while Fuu had picked up a handful of small rocks for her slinging weapon. She loaded up with the first pebble and whirled it around and around and let it fly-- right into Mugen's jaw!!

"OW!! For Kami's sake, Fuu! Aim that thing someplace else, will ya! What d'ya make of that thing up there, Jin?" yelled Mugen, but all that the Samurai could do was shake his head back and forth.

"I have, of course, heard about the aviational strides being made by the Brothers Montgolfier in France and Leonardo DaVinci's 'flying birds' in Florence, but never have I seen or heard of anything quite like that, Mugen." said Jin.

"Guys? Something tells me that we are no longer in Japan. Perhaps we are not even on Earth anymore. Don't worry, Momo. We'll protect you from the bad sky people, won't we, guys?" said Fuu.

"Speak for yerself, kid. What d'ya think, Jin? That thing looks like it's comin' down- and fast!" said Mugen.

"Discretion seems to be the better part of valour in this case, my friends." observed Jin.

"What does that mean, O wise one?" demanded Mugen.

"I think that it means that we should run like Hell, Stupid! Let's go!" screamed Fuu, turning to flee and sliding down the stony mountainous path and landing on her keester!

The huge flying 'thing' slid gently to a stop beside them and the top popped open! A big lanky 20-something guy with broad shoulders hopped out of the contraption followed by a slightly shorter dark-haired guy. They both grabbed one of Fuu's arms and yanked the frightened girl to her feet. She put down her right ankle and shrieked in pain from the twisted ankle caused by her fall. The first guy swept her up into his powerful arms and carried her to the flying vessel and gently laid her across the back seat while the other guy fished out a first aid kit and sprayed her ankle with some smelly stuff while an older heavy-set (OK, fat!) gentleman dressed in white and smoking a fat cigar, began wrapping an Ace bandage around Fuu's ankle.

Momo leaped out of her cleavage and perched herself on Fuu's shoulder. By this time, Jin and Mugen had warily approached the machine and were gingerly feeling it to make certain that it was real and not just an illusion, mirage or an hallucination brought on by the keg of 'sake' liquor that they had polished off last night!

"Ahh say thair, suhs, ma'am! Where are mah manners today? Lemme introduce mahself to ya. Ahh am Jefferson Davis Hogg, suhs, ma'am, but ya kin calls me 'Boss'. These two strappin' youngsters are the Duke boys- the medical fella here is Luke and that big strappin' laddie thair is his younger brother, Bo.

"Luke? Ya better had, um, call up Walker and tell him that we ain't found them 'Dolls' yet and we've been a-goin' South fer two hours. Tell 'im that we are bringin' in three new strangers named-- (Jin made the necessary introductions all round.) Jin, Mugen and Fuu- strange names fer three nice young folks if ahh does says so meself- Fuu's got a sprained ankle and she has a lil pet mouse too. You three folks feel up to travelin'?" said the big Terran from ancient Georgia in the Southern US of A.

"Got any food, man? We ain't eaten in a few days, man!" whined Mugen.

"We ate breakfast three hours ago, sir. However, we have been unable to find water. Our throats are a bit parched, Mr Hogg." corrected Jin quietly. Fuu moaned a little and Luke held one of her hands while his brother held the other one.

"Give her some o' that thair 'snake bite remedy', boys. If she kin stomach that Japanesey 'sack-ee' stuff, a hunnert and fifty proof 'moonshine' ain't a-gonna hurts her none. You boys be a-kereful o' them thair 'pig stickers', won't ya? I don't fancy bein' sheesh-ka-bobbled, suhs! Close down the top, Bo. Luke, 'rep' 'em up some burgers and stuff and give 'em somethin' to drink too. Everyone set? Then away we go!" chortled 'Boss' Hogg, formerly of Hazzard County, Georgia.

They arrived back at the 'staging area' to the good news that Jimmy Trivette and CD Parker had found the 'DK Dolls' safe and sound along with the 'borrowed' space rig. However, as the twin suns were setting in the North already, they had decided to spend the night in Ahura's cavern.

"Young lady, you are very lucky that someone had the good sense to wrap that ankle right away. Otherwise, gangrene could have set in from that matchstick fracture that you sustained when you fell. Dix? Get a soft cast on her ankle and you'd better find her and her friends some clothes. What's that thing doing in my treatment room, Joe?" said Dr Kelly Brackett, new Chief Surgeon at the makeshift 'Victoria City Clinic'.

"Just Miss Fuu's pet, Kell. Her name's Momo. Isn't she cute?" said Dr Joe Early, petting Momo gently with his index finger. Momo was purring quietly and starting to fall asleep.

"This is no place for white mice, Joe. Get it out of here and I mean right now!" yelled Kelly.

"If she goes, I go, dammit!" screeched Fuu, trying to stand up. Her hospital gown slid to the floor revealing her perky breasts and flat tummy over her 'box'. Dixie hastily tossed a blanket across the naked girl.

"Have a heart, Kell. Momo seems to be a clean little animal. And she's a 'sugar slider' flying squirrel, not a white mouse. Didn't you have a pet when you were a kid?" asked Dixie, petting Momo's head.

"Yeah, an Airedale, not a rat! Oh, alright! You win, Miss Fuu. Momo can stay, but keep her out of mischief. A Helluva way to run a hospital! You and Momo are staying here for now. Bed rest for at least a week and no visitors until tomorrow." grumbled Dr Brackett. Then he too patted little Momo's head. Dixie tenderly tucked the small pet under Fuu's blanket. She administered an 'autohypo' of 'Axileine 15'- a sedative- to the girl and switched off the illuminators when Fuu's eyes closed and the young girl drifted off to sleep.

"A good thing that Luke had the good sense to immobilize that leg, Joe. All of that bumping around in Boss's 'air car' could have caused a real fracture or worse. Where are the other two?" asked Kelly.

"Mugen's having dinner and Jin's with Allie in her office. Kell? How did they get here? Garner confirmed that there are no rifts in the Continuum and they sure as Hell didn't hitch a TARDIS ride. They seem to hail from 17th Century Japan on Earth. According to Jin, they never even noticed the transition until they noticed the twin suns above them and saw the 'air car' flying overhead. So how'd they get here I wonder?" asked the blonde head nurse, lighting a cigarette for herself and Kelly.

"That's what I'd like to know, Dix. Maybe one of our time jockeys will know. Who's on duty tonight?" replied the doctor.

"Sookie Northman and Flossie." answered Dixie McCall.

"Have 'em check on Miss Fuu every hour. I don't want her getting out of bed. Better tell Mike (Dr Morton) too." said Kelly.

"It seems, Mr Jin, that you and Fuu and Mugen passed through a 'temporal vortex' which was why you never noticed the transition. These vortexes open every so often in the time barrier wall, but, unlike a true rift or hole, they close up again almost immediately so there is no danger of upsetting the Universes' status quo. I must say that grey pinstripe suit really makes you look quite handsome, sir." said Allison Poe to her guest. She poured out more tea for them and Jin smiled at the 'young' time lady.

"May I ask you a question, Madam President?" asked Jin and she nodded.

"Where exactly are we and what is the year?" he asked, sipping his tea.

"This is the newly terraformed planet that we call 'Victorine'. We have only just begun colonizing it. The year is AD 2260 in the 23rd Century and, if I may anticipate your next question, sir- this will be your new home from now on. To quote Thomas Wolfe- 'You cannot go home again'. Now, as to what we will do with you? Temporarily, I have assigned you rooms in this building. Each room is equipped with a 'replicator'. Pretty simple to operate. Simply tell it what you want and it will be made for you. Your friend, Mr Mugen, has already availed himself of his 'repper' and he is- I believe the Terran term is 'pigging out'- in his rooms. You have a suite of rooms next door to his and I have assigned the suite on the other side of yours to Miss Fuu. Here are your vidkeys and vidcodes. Someone will teach you how to use them. Now, I'd better have you taken to your rooms. I have such a mass of vidpapes to go through before tomorrow and my yeoperson is indisposed. (Too much celebrating at her birthday party last night!) Please send Lancer Williamson to my office. Thank you. Any other questions, Mr Jin?" explained Allison and he shook his head.

"Lancer Williamson reporting as ordered, mum." announced Thelma Ariel Williamson, snapping to attention and giving her superior the 'Galactic Salute', right fist striking left breast.

"At ease, Thelma. This is Mr Jin. Please escort him to Suite 107 and demonstrate how his vidkeys and vidcodes operate. You might coach him in the usage of his 'repper' as well. Thank you. Have a pleasant stay, Mr Jin. Thelma will come at 1700 hours- 5 PM- to escort you to dinner. Attire is casual and you will find ample wardobes in your rooms, sir. Good day." said the always efficient time lady.

"Very good, mum! Please come with me, sir." she replied, clicking her bootheels together, snapping to attention and saluting her superior. Then she took Jin's arm and led him down the long hallway to a portal marked '107' where she carefully explained to him the workings of the portal release systems until she was certain sure that he understood it.

"One more thing, sir. Your 'comm badge', 'wristchromo' and 'Mark XIII' ion cannon weapon, sir. Speak into the aether and your badge will comm relay your voice to whomsoever you are thinking about. The 'wristchromo' operates the same as a Terran wristwatch, but it also contains a computer, calculator, alarm, calendar and it is luminous as well. This is a hand held 'Mark XIII' ion cannon. Loads thusly with a 'power pack' cartridge and is capable of firing an ionic blast that can incapacitate, paralyze or kill your opponent. I will demonstrate." said the efficient NCO girl, aiming the 'gun' at the ceiling which was also the quonset hut's roof.

ZAPP!! A small hole the size of a dinner plate was burned through Jin's ceiling and dark starlight streamed through it. The scorched smell permeated the room until Thelma activated the 'aether cleansers'. A 'repairs 'droid' popped out and speedily patched the hole in the ceiling and roof. To say that Jin was impressed would have been an understatement! He was scared out of his wits!

"That was its lowest setting, sir. I advise you to keep it set on either 'low' or 'stun', sir. No questions, sir? Then I will return at 1645 hours to escort you to dinner unless you wish to 'rep up' your own? (Jin shook his head.) Until then, sir." said Thelma, saluting him. He waved back and she was gone.

Jin tapped on the communicating bulkhead wall and there was no answering knock. "That must be Fuu's side." he mused and crossed the room to tap on the other wall.

"Yeah? Who's there and what d'ya want, man?" called Mugen's voice.

"It's me. Jin. Fuu's still in hospital. Doctor's holding her a week for observation. Dinner's at 5. Going?" replied Jin.

"Hell yeah, I'm goin', pal. A cute green-haired babe's comin' fer me at a quarter to 5. You goin'?" asked Mugen.

"Of course. This surely seems to be a much better place than the Japan we came from, doesn't it?" said Jin softly. "Did they tell you that this is 'home' from now on?" he added.

"Who cares? Waited on hand and foot. Good lookin' chicks at my beck and call. What ain't ta like, man? Coolest duds, too. See ya at din din." said Mugen.

"Hmmn. Thelma said that most everyone wears these 'flight suit' things so- when in Rome eh." mused Jin, removing his pinstriped finery and donning a black and silver flight suit and soft doeskin boots. He had showered as soon as his escort had left him alone. Mugen had hunted in vain for a bath tub and had finally asked the machine thing for one and it had appeared in the bath room, filled with soapy sweet scented flowers. He had luxuriated in the warm water for a whole half hour before he too had stood in the 'drying alcove' and then dressed himself in a flight suit identical to Jin's. However, boots were not for him. Instead, he had 'repped up' a new pair of wooden sandals.

While he awaited his dinner escort, Mugen amused himself with his new 'toy' by shooting holes in the walls and watching the 'repairs 'droid' fix them. Jin had discovered a 'vidtextbook' entitled 'History of Shimougou' and was reading it carefully. Madam Poe had told him that most of the 'colonists' had originated on this faroff world in a place called 'Elenore City' and he was curious to see how these folks differed from those of his own world of Earth which they called Terra.

Sharp at a quarter to 5, Thelma pulled both guys' klaxons and escorted them to dinner. No longer in uniform, the pert blonde was wearing a dark green pantsuit over a pale green turtleneck. She wore green/white sneakers on her feet. She stared at Mugen and Jin and then shrugged her shoulders.

"Nobody told ya that ya can wear whatever ya wanna, huh guys? I thought for sure that I had told ya that, man. Oh well, heres our dining hall. She threw open the double portals as she spoke and Jin and Mugen stared in shock and amazement. The 'hall' was bigger than the dining room at 'Edo Castle'! They found seats at a table with the Clampetts and the Dukes and Boss Hogg.

"Better than the 'pigs' table', I suppose." sighed their blonde escort. Jin and Mugen forebore asking her to elabourate. Mugen looked around and smelled the delicious odours in the room's aether. Jin politely asked Thelma where the menu was. A cute kid wearing a waitress's outfit complete with a lacey white cap atop her blonde curls jetted over to their table and braked her 'jet boots' to a screeching halt between Mugen and Jin.

"What can I get for you guys?" asked Mira, the 'coil collector' robot girl.

"Just bring us a menu, please. Thank you, miss." said Jin. Thelma used her napkin to hide her giggling while Mugen began pulling on Mira's electrical cord tail until she whirled around and smacked his face.

"And don't try yankin' my skirt off either, mister! Sheesh! I get all the freaks, man! No menu, sir. Just order it and we'll make it for ya. Hurry up. We're short-handed today so please give me your orders. I'm comin'! Hold yer horseys, man! The usual, Thelma? You'll have the same, sirs? Great. Be right back and, sir, you can either move that hand or lose it, pal!" yipped Mira.

Dinner was much more than they had ever expected it to be and after dinner, Thelma suggested a stroll by the new lake. Jin was willing, but Mugen's eyes were on the big red-headed Colonel Revy Roberts. The stroll was very pleasant and Jin kissed Thelma in the light of several moons before they adjourned to an empty hut and, well- you know, right?

"What happened to you, Mugen? Get drunk as a skunk and walk into another door?" chuckled a grinning Jin. Jin never grinned- as a rule! Mugen was sporting a real 'shiner'- a black eye! Jin 'repped up' a piece of raw steak and taped it to Mugen's injured optic while Mugen explained that 'that big damned redhead hits like a trooper!' Jin looked at him and grinned.

"OK! I followed the lady into her hut. She'd been winkin' at me and I thought it was the 'come hither' look. It wasn't! When I grabbed her and kissed her, she belted me one! Then she told me that she had something in her eye. When I tried to help her to remove it, my hand accidentally slipped down to her belt buckle and-- POW! That was when she gave me this 'shiner'!" whimpered the poor 'ronin' fighter who was still in pain.

"You mean that you went after Colonel Roberts? After what Dynamo told us about the lady? You got a death wish or something, Mugen?" laughed Jin. Then he told him all about his evening with his voluptuous blonde bombshell. They finished off the night by splitting a magnum of champagne.

"Hey! What's that stickin' outta yer pocket, man? That pink thing I mean." asked Mugen and Jin pulled out a pair of ladies' pink thong panties!

"Cool! You got a trophy, Jin! Let's show the guys!" yelled Mugen, making a grab for the pink silken underdrawers. Jin was quicker and snatched them back.

"I will return them to Thelma in the morning. Can't think how they got there. Oh- yes, I do. She didn't want to get them all dusty so she stuck them in my flight suit's pocket. I hope that she doesn't catch a chill tonight. Well? Why shouldn't I have a little fun as well as you, lecherous one? No harm done, is there?" said Jin, pocketing his lady's favour and tossing the empty champagne bottle down the recycling chute before he went back to his own rooms.

In the morning, both Mugen and Jin were rousted out of their bunks at 0600 hours- 6 AM. Jin and his friend opened their portals to find, not Thelma Williamson, but a tall statuesque brunette standing there.

"Gentlemen? Name's Kresh, Lt Anastasia Kresh. I'm OD- officer of the day. Would you guys please dress and accompany me to the Commander-In-Chief's office? She wants to speak with the both of ya. I'll wait in the hall for you." said the vivacious 'Agrarian' female wearing full battle dress. A brace of wicked looking ion cannons were strapped to her hips. The guys dressed hurriedly and followed Ana Kresh to the big office at the end of the long hallway.

"OK. I can take a joke as well as the next girl, gentlemen. However, you have gone too far, sirs. I did not invite you to sit, Mr Mugen. Now- which one of you had the date with Lancer Williamson? You remember her, do you not? Thelma Ariel Williamson?" demanded a furious Allison Poe, who had not yet changed out of her pajamas and dressing gown. Jin raised his hand and cleared his throat.

"I did, madam. Surely Miss Williamson is past the age of consent? However, if your customs are not the same as ours, I humbly apologize. I left her late last evening at the, um, hut that was our trysting place last night. In fact, I was on my way over to see her this morning before breakfast, madam." explained Jin.

"Wait a moment. What is that in your pocket, sir? I say! These are certainly not yours nor are they Mr Mugen's, sir! Look, Alley Cat! These are Thelma's! See? Her name is stitched inside the waistband, mum! OK! (She drew one of her cannons and rammed it into Jin's back!) Where is she? I am not kiddin', fella! Where's Thelma?" snarled Lt Kresh angrily. Suddenly, both of Allison's fists crashed down on her desktop.

"That will be quite enough of that, lieutenant! We are civilized here even if this planet has yet to be fully colonized. Am I to understand, Mr Jin, that you did not know that Thelma Williamson has dsappeared? That she failed to report in to Lt Kresh, the 'officer of the day'? Then I take it that you have no idea where she might be, sir?" demanded the new President of Victorine.

"As the good Kami is my witness, Madam Poe, I know nothing of her disappearance nor have I the slightest idea where she might be, madam. I left her at our trysting hut and I went back to my rooms. Mugen can confirm the truth and veracity of my statements. I wanted to see her back to her own hut, but she told me that she might get into trouble for staying out past curfew so I left first. I swear that I thought that she'd be right behind me, madam." said Jin earnestly.

"If ya mean, was Jin and me together last night after midnight, the answer is yeah. We was together until almost three. We done now? I'm hungry." fumed Mugen.

"Has the hut been searched yet, Kresh?" asked her superior.

"It's the empty one behind the big warehouse by the motor carriages, madam." supplied Jin.

"I searched that one myself, madam." admitted Kresh.

"And--" prompted Mugen impatiently.

"All that I found in there were the rest of her clothes. Pantsuit, turtleneck, sneakers, socks and brasierre. You recognize this clothing, Mr Jin?" asked the lieutenant and Jin nodded.

"Yes, miss. That's what she was wearing at dinner last night. She was still in the bunk when I left the hut though. Apparently, something must have happened to her after I left her, Madam President." replied Jin. He and Mugen began worrying. They well knew what could happen to a girl late at night back in Japan. Was this place any different?

********************************************************************************************************

"No! That's not the right girl, you blithering idiots!" screeched Zorin Oakenshield when his minions dragged in a tearful naked Thelma Williamson and tossed the manacled and force-beam cuffed girl roughly at his feet.

"She's a blonde, ain't she Oakie?" asked DeJoliet, Zorin's number one officer. "Where did you find her, Peterson?" he added.

"In the hut beside the motor pool, sir. Right where you told us that Air Marshall Angel would be staying, sir. We waited for her boyfriend to finish their bit o' nooky first and then we grabbed her. Now ya say that she ain't the right one, man?" replied John Peterson who had been sent to kidnap the svelte blonde Commander of the 'Lovely Angel 5' starship. This was the female 3WA Commander who had nabbed Zorin back in '57 and Zorin had sworn vengeance on her.

"Oh for the love of kitty cats, you can see that this squalling brat cannot possibly be a starship commander! I doubt if she is even intelligent enough to be an officer! Are you, my precious child?" purred 'Catwoman', who was sharpening her claws on a piece of sandpaper. "By the way, Oakbrain- if you're going to keep her here,you might as well give her something to wear. The pretty kitten will catch cold." she added.

"Williamson, Thelma Ariel. Lancer Third Class, 3WA. VidID number XX3778042378821. DOB 14 JunJul AD 2242. That is my name, ranking, service number and date of birth, sirs. That is all that I am required to reveal to you under Section 6, Subsector XX-7, Paragraph 168 of the 'Galactic Law Codes'. Do what you will with me, sirs. I will not tell you anything!" sobbed Thelma.

"Like the pretty kitten knows anything useful, Oakbrain. Oh, let me cover her indecency at least." hissed 'Catwoman'.

"Oh, alright. Get her into some of your clothes, Cat. (Zorin turned to Peterson again.) Tell me that you at least saw Marlene Angel's 'LA5' docked somewhere." snapped their leader angrily.

"Yeah, we seen it, boss. It was under triple guard, man. I felt that was a lil bit ridiculous given that this is a new planet." drawled Tom Jorgenson. This old trooper had served with the infamous Khan aboard the 'Botany Bay' and had been part of Khan's ill-fated first crew when they were picked up by the 'USS Enterprise'.

"Then Angel could very well still be aboard the 'LA5'? Isn't that so, Tom?" asked an excited Zorin Oakenshield.

"Seems that way, boss. Can't be sure though. Want that we should try again?" asked Tom, but ZO was poring over a hastily scrawled map of the other side of Mt Peabody.

"Isn't she just purr-fect now that she is dressed like the cat's pajamas?" hissed 'Catwoman', ushering Thelma Williamson back onto the bridge. The embarrassed blonde was wearing a black latex 'catsuit' complete with ears, whiskers and fluffy tail! You could tell that the poor girl was not happy in her new finery at all!

"You'd best send her back, boss, before they send out a search party to find her." suggested DeJoliet quietly. Without looking up from his vidcharts, Zorin signed for him to carry on. "Peterson, Jorgenson. Take Miss Williamson back to the encampment where you found her. Wait! Blindfold her first. We don't need the 3WA blundering into our little hideout here, do we? My apologies, my dear girl, but it is necessary." apologized deJoliet.

"You may keep the 'kitty jumpsuit', my sweet little tabby. It looks absolutely purrr-fect on you. I wonder if I have one to fit Miss Angel? Oh, Peterson? Try not to muck it up this time. Zorry wants Air Marshall Marlene Angel. Bring the cat back this time, not the kit!" hissed 'Catwoman' angrily.

Tom Jorgenson blindfolded the terrified girl while John Peterson placed forced-beam cuffs around her trembling wrists. Then deJoliet carefully guided Thelma onto the small skysled and snapped the top down tightly. Tom fired up the engines, hit 'silent mode' and quietly lifted off with nary a whisper to betray their presence. The trip back to the 'staging area' took less than ten minutes.

Suddenly, Thelma felt herself gently lifted and carried. She heard the shoosh sound of a portal sliding open and then she was set down gently on a bunk. While Tom removed her blindfold, John unlatched her cuffs. She tried to scowl at them, but all that she could manage was a wan smile. After all, they had treated her well and it was that 'Zorro' guy that had ordered her snatching, not John or Tom or even Mr deJoliet.

"Again, allow me to offer my apologies for your rough treatment, miss." said Tom.

"And I would not advise your friends to come looking for the 'Starmauler' either. I--" said John.

"Peterson! Why don't ya just tell her the rest o' our plans while you're at it, blabbermouth?" scolded Jorgenson.

"Sorry. I didn't think, Tom." replied a chastised Peterson.

"However, John is right, young lady. Don't try to find our camp if you know what's good for ya. Been a pleasure making your acquaintance, my child." said Tom. Then they both kissed her forehead, locked the portal behind them and left her alone in the hut where she and Jin had 'trysted' last night.

Now that her terrible ordeal was over, Thelma did what any other frightened girl would have done. First, she banged on the portal which remained sealed. Then she threw herself down on the bunk and wailed and sobbed like a baby! An hour later, she remembered that she still had her comlink earrings. Of course, her wristchromo, 'morphing' bracelet, crucifix necklace (Thelma was one of the few Catholics on 'Victorine') and comm badge had been taken from her as soon as she'd been taken before that horrid Zorro Oak-something guy!

"Uh, can anyone hear me, man? This is Lancer Williamson. I'm in a quonset hut and I'm locked in. Can anyone hear me? Over." she said into the aether.

"Yeah. I can hear ya, Thel. It's me. Andy? Andy Carter? From 'Stalag 13'? Remember? We met at the debriefing session last week. Are ya in the hut that you and Jin used last night, Honey? Over." trilled the former USAAC sergeant.

"Affirmative, Andy. It looks like the portal's latches have been fused. I can't get out. Andy? Hullo? Hullo? Dammit! I knew that I should've replaced that mini-power pack last week! If you can hear me, Andy, send help! Over." yelled Thelma. Dead aether was her answer.

"Damn and blast! Power's gone! Great! Nothing in here to use for a tool and no weapons either! Take that, door! Ouch!" screeched Thelma when she launched a kick at the Kelvinite portal which hurt like Hell!

"OW! Darned old 'Catwoman'! At least, she could have given me some boots or shoes instead of these slippers! Help!!" screamed the girl, beating on the portal with gloved fists.

"Simmer down in there, Thelma! We'll have ya outta there in a few more minutes." said Ranger Walker.

"Make sure you're decent, Honey." chuckled Ranger Jimmy Trivette.

"Just about there, Rangers. Just a few more crossover wires to go." said Rock Obajime, Revy Roberts's 'Black Lagoon' partner from ancient Terra's Roanispur.

Suddenly, the portal shooshed aside and Thelma rushed out and right into Cordell's arms.

"Easy there, kiddo! I'm a married man, ya know?" laughed the bearded Ranger. "Where on Earth did ya get that get-up, Honey?" added Walker.

"Yeah, ya look just like--" began Jimmy.

"Please don't say it, Mr T. The 'Catwoman', right? Guess who's here with Mr Oak Tree and his pals?" said Thelma. "I was aboard the 'Starmauler' and--" she added.

"Did you say the 'Starmauler'? Garner comm relayed us that somebody swiped that ship from our base on 'Minerva'! Oak Tree? Kee-Rist!! You couldn't mean Oakenshield? 'Zorin Oakenshield'? And 'Catwoman's with him too?" rumbled Dynamo.

"Yeah, I think Tom said his name was 'Zorro' or something, man. Why?" asked the puzzled Lancer girl.

"Because he must be here to rendezvous with Lord Vicious, that's why, my child." explained Allison, wrapping the shivering girl in a fur cloak and leading her towards the big hut where a belated dinner awaited her.

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An hour later and back in uniform, Lancer Williamson was being debriefed by Commander-in-Chief Poe about her harrowing ordeal. According to her story, after Jin had left her alone in the hut (To preserve her dignity. Ladies did not sleep with gentlemen they had only just met! At least, that was how Jin explained it!), she had just started to dress when a rag was pressed across her mouth and nose and as the sickly sweet smell permeated her sinuses, she felt herself being gently carried while some kind of blindfold was tied across her eyes.

When she awakened (No idea when but it had to have been at least an hour later because the twin suns had both set and there were stars above her.), she seemed to be aboard some kind of vessel and poor Thelma was shackled and force-beam cuffed! She was also still completely naked. A bright-eyed teenaged girl a little younger than Thelma and dressed in a black uniform brought her supper in on a tray and then vanished without a word.

"I remembered my training and I didn't eat or drink anything, mum. I was thirsty and there was a small basin with taps. I drank some water and then I began to try and escape. The room was barren of anything save a mattress, a chair and a toilet. The silverware was made of soft plastic as were the plate and cup. I could find nothing metallic at all so shorting out the door's circuits was impossible. I was just about to start on the low ceiling fixture which I could just reach by standing on the chair on tiptoes when an older woman arrived wearing a nurse's scrubs.

"This lady told me that her name was 'Grendel' and that she was a nurse. She injected me with an autohypo and left. It must have been a sedative of some sort because when I came to, I was lying on the floor, still the same way I was when the stork brought me home. The mattress was still there, but the chair was gone and so was the light fixture in the ceiling. A soft glow emanated from the walls so I wasn't in the dark. My food tray had been removed as well.

"I dunno when it was that two big guys came in and told me to get up. My ankles must have been asleep because it was like trying to stand on pins and needles! The one guy told the other one to be careful with me and then they half carried/half dragged me out of the room and down several corridors and stairs. Finally, we rode a lift car up a few floors and I was brought before their leader.

"He was a short dumpy man and he had a cute mustache- guess that's why I got Zorin confused with Zorro. Remembering what I'd been taught, mum, I gave my name, rank, vid ID number and my date of birth- and nothing else. That was when I found out that they hadn't been after me at all, mum! Mr Oak whatever was really after an Air Marshall, someone named Angel! Then there was quite a bit of discussion about what was to be done with me.

"This 'Catwoman' lady insisted on my being properly clothed first and she stuck me into one of her 'kitty cat' outfits. Then I was again bound, gagged and blindfolded. I was again carried somewhere and we lifted off- I heard the whine of engines. They brought me back here and untied me, took off my gag and blindfold and left me in that hut. As an extra precaution, they fused the latches after they had sealed me in. Then Mr Walker came and-- you know the rest, mum.

"Oh and one of 'em let it slip that I'd been aboard the 'Starmauler'. There were a lot of rocks we flew over because Tom kept cautioning John not to crash into the mountains during the trip back here. They seemed to be waiting for somebody coming with a 'night hawk' which made no sense at all, mum. Goodness! It's almost 1800 hours (6 PM), mum! I'm due on duty at six!" said Thelma. She made to get up, but Dynamo's strong arms held her in her chair.

"Take the rest of the night off, child and all day tomorrow as well. And make sure that these are on your shoulderboards when you report to your OD Friday at 0700. You are dismissed, Warrant Three Williamson. Get some sleep, girl." cooed Allison Poe. Thelma's eyes were as big as saucers when she looked at the blue warrant officer- third class 'stripes' in her hand.

"Yes, mum. Thank you very much, mum. Oh and whom will be Friday's OD (Officer of the Day), mum?" she asked.

"That'll be you, dear girl. So- report to my office Friday morning at seven- in proper uniform, Miss Williamson." said the small white doggie who was the base's logistics and strategies officer- Colonel Peabody! Thelma saluted and left. As soon as she was out of sight of the command centre hut, she whooped for joy and ran all the way back to her quarters to show the other ratings her new 'stripes' and tease them- just a little!

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"My lord!! She is here! The spitfire Amazon! I was gathering firewood on the other side of the mountain and I saw her flagship! Just for an instant and then she 'cloaked'! It won't be possible for us to remain here for a week! We--" shouted Voldevort excitedly when he had rushed back into the campsite beside the 'Nighthawk'.

"Damnation! Fire and brimstone! Raven's on 'Minerva'! So that's out too, Lord Vicious!" growled O'Malley angrily.

"Widow! Any word from Zorin yet?" called Vicious over his shoulder to 'Black Widow' who was operating an extension comm relay set which was tied into the ship's main comm systems.

"The fool's on 'Victorine', Vicious. He's after that blonde bimbo, Angel. She's an Air Marshall now, don't ya know." replied the Widow.

"Catwoman's with him too. Jordan just trilled me. They kidnapped the wrong bimbo! Know what he did then, man? He sent Tommy and John Peterson to take her back where they found her- in the 3WA's 'staging area'! That means that we can't rendezvous with Oakbrain on 'Vic'." grumbled Lady Ranee.

"Kagura is too bloody close to Shimougou and Mars. Unless we wanna tangle with the ISSP and the 3WA not to mention KASP and the IGSC! A pretty pickle we are in, my lord!" whined Ming the Merciless, who was a bigger crybaby than Prince John!

"Dammit all! This bloody planet was perfect! Why the Hell'd Reds have to show up here- of all places? Did anyone see you, Vol?" snapped Vicious, causing his pilot to jump up nervously.

"No. At least, I didn't see anyone, sire. However--" stalled the former headmaster of Hogwarts Academy.

"Out with it, man!" ordered the Ranee.

"Across the river there is an encampment of-- of-- what looked like 'Cybremen'! There isn't any gold on 'Workoh', is there?" stammered Voldevort shakily. Gold was the only thing that could destroy 'Cybremen'. Sorta like Superman and Kryptonite.

"Wunnerful! Got any more good news, Volly?" demanded Alicia Adams aka 'Panther Girl' who was fingering her daggers.

"I did notice that the 'Lovely Angel 2' had just launched something and it was heading this way." admitted Voldevort.

"A probe!?!! That tears it, man! Me and my TARDIS are outta here, V! We ain't got anywhere near the firepower to take on that flagship and the Cybre creeps! Anyone wanna come along?" seethed Lady Ranee who was sitting beside her 'Poseidon statue' Type 40 traveling machine.

"Cool it! And that's an order! We're 'cloaked' so let's just get all o' this junk packed up and get everyone back aboard! As far as leaving this planet goes, we haven't got a prayer, baby! The 'Cybremen' and Her Nibs would spot our vapour trail in an instant. Let's just see why 'She' is here, shall we? It doesn't appear that 'She' knows about us. 'She' may know about the metal freaks, but not us. A probe launch means that 'She's looking for something else and it ain't us. If we have to, we'll submerge in the lake and just wait her out- and those metallic meatheads too. OK! Strike camp! Everyone pitch in and help. That means you as well, Ming. I wish that Khan was with us." snarled Vicious, dumping his java on the fire.

"Where is he anyway, my lord?" asked O'Malley, carrying five tents at once back aboard the ship.

"He's at Kurestan by now. Oakbrain sent him after something that the Senate is guarding. You know as much as I do now, my friend. Careful, Orgok! That comm relay equipment is delicate. Hurry up, gang! The suns are setting and it'll soon be dark. But that probe doesn't need light to find us. Let's move it!" growled their leader and in a twinkling, everything had been stowed aboard and the 'hot stones' tossed in the lake along with the remains of their fire. 'Panther Girl' and the Ranee scattered brush and leaves to conceal any traces that they might have left behind them.

"I sure as Hell hope that 'She' doesn't have that half Indian Ranger with her. Walker could track us all the way to Gybipp!" said the Ranee, manipulating her TARDIS 'statue' back aboard the 'Nighthawk'.

"Ranger guy with the beard ya mean? He's not there, milady. Tom, there's no way that Miss Williamson can find her way back here, is there?" asked Voldevort anxiously.

"Nah. We had her blindfolded and the sled was sound-proof. She did see our campsite for a few seconds though and the mountains behind us, but only for a few seconds before we blindfolded her." replied John Peterson, hoisting a box of kitchen utensils onto his shoulder and striding towards the 'Nighthawk'.

"I defy even Ranger Walker to find us here, milord." chuckled Tom Jordan.

"Especially since we are not going to be staying here much longer. Are we, pet?" purred 'Catwoman' sweetly and stroking Lord Vicious's arm with her claws before he yanked his arm away from her.

"I told you not to call me that anymore, Cat! Our relationship is all business now and nothing else! Got that?" snarled the tall dark-haired gang leader angrily. "It's high time for us to head for 'Minerva' anyway. Saddle up, everyone! We are leaving this world in ten minutes. Be aboard by then or I'll leave yer arses behind! Now, get a move on yer bums!" ordered the impatient Vicious.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the huge mountain, Kei and her away team had returned from their exploration of the ancient underground Dalek city and they had found nothing new there.

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"Damnation! That was a bloody waste o' time, Saavy! Not even booby-trapped and with good reason! Nothing left in the damned city! Sure looks like one o' 'Workoh's moons may have been the Daleks' original home world. OK- so we tried. Now, we'd best head for 'Vic' to help the new colonists. What's wrong with you, 'Kadara'?" growled the Boss when the 'young' time lady came racing over to her with a vidsignal clutched in her fist.

"Bad news, man! One o' our lancer girls has been kidnapped from 'Victorine', mum! And she was taken away 'sans clothing', my dear child!" shouted 'Kadara' whose actual age was closer to a millennium. She was a Gallifreyan after all!

"I am NOT 'your dear child', Sub-Lieutenant Greystokes! I don't insist on military courtesy, but I am a grown woman same as you, 'Kaddy'! Good grief! Now what? Here comes 'LeAnna' and she's got a vidsignal too. Over here, Lee!" grumbled Kei.

"Your pardon, mum! This just came over the aether wires! It seemed to be important so I took the liberty of decoding it for ya." said the short plump blonde 'Beta Zoid' whose native world was 'Bjorn'. No need to ask how she just 'happened' to know a top secret code either. Kei's memory was phenomenal and she never wrote anything down on paper, parchment or even on her PDO! All of it went into her fantastic brain!

And 'Beta Zoids' are notorious for reading minds like we might read a newspape or vidnovel!

"Hmmn. Uhn huh. Yeah. OK. That tears it. We are going to 'Victorine' right away. Make the 'LA2' ready to go, Saavy. Lancer Thelma Williamson has just turned up back there where she was snatched from- safe and sound- and-- wearin' a 'catsuit'. We all know what that means!" snarled the Boss, grinding both vidsignals beneath her boot heel.

"Unh unh. What?" asked LeAnna innocently.

"Even I know that answer, Lee. It means that the 'Catwoman' has teamed up with Lord Vicious! I wonder where the Dickens he is though?" replied 'Kadara Greystokes'. Kei laughed aloud.

"Vicious? He's camped in a small ravine on the other side of that mountain. He's no more than a few kilometres from here. I too have 'mind send' abilities, 'Kaddy', even though they are not as pronounced as yours. Remember- this world was my home until I was ten!" chortled the redhead.

"Then why ain't we goin' after him, Reds?" demanded Vash the Stampede.

"Because that is not my mission, Doughnut Boy. My mission was to explore that strange subterranean city and report back to 3WA HQ any findings or discoveries that we made. I was also told that if, in my own judgment, 'Workoh' posed no threat to the Federation, to immediately make my way to 'Victorine' to assist the new colonists in any way that I can. Those were Garner's orders and Uncle Chuckie was relaying orders from 'God' himself- Uncle Vito Galadriel! I might disobey Charlie Garner's orders or Andy Gooley's or even Willy Gustav's- I will never ever disobey a 'royal command' from the 'God of the 3WA' and 'United Galactica Federation of Galaxies'! I may be crazy, but stupid I ain't! Savvy, I wanna lift off within the hour. Somehow I suspect that Vicious's destination may be the same as ours. Let's go, ladies and gents! I wanna be well clear o' the 'Omega Quad' by suppertime! Make it so!" commanded the tall redheaded Amazon firebrand Hellcat whose very name invoked fear in grown persons throughout a dozen galaxies!

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"Vicious!! This is Oakenshield! I too am on 'Workoh'. I will follow you to 'Victorine'. Understood?" trilled Zorin Oakenshield across the squawkboxes aboard the 'Nighthawk' which confused the Hell outta both O'Malley and Vicious who had been sharpening his 'katana' blade.

Several hours ago, the 'Nighthawk' had lifted off from 'Workoh' unseen by the 'LA2'- or so he thought! Nothing escaped 'Old Eagle Eye' though!

"Say again, Oakbrain! We are heading for 'Minerva' to rendezvous with--" trilled back Vicious.

"No! No! NO! Negative!! Stay well clear of 'Minerva'! John Raven's there and he's laid a trap for us! I say again! Avoid 'Minerva' at all costs. New destination is 'Victorine' and for Heavens' sakes, stay 'cloaked'! No telling what kinda firepower they have down there, V!

"By the by, what's this I hear about your trying to kidnap Air Marshall Angel and grabbing a mere 'sub-striper' instead? Did she get back to 'Vic' safely? Over." trilled Zorin and Vicious sighed and handed his vidmike to Tom Jordan.

"Sire? Commander Jordan here, milord. Leftenant Peterson and I personally escorted the girl back to where we'd found her on 'Victorine', sire. She was blindfolded both ways and since we left immediately thereafter--" trilled Tom.

"Yes. Yes. Well done, sonny. Oh, by the by, you did know that we were sharing the river back on 'Workoh' with some 'Cybremen', didn't ya? Over." trilled Zorin.

"Of course, Oakbrain! Give us credit for a little common sense, will ya? One o' the Gael's men spotted 'em right off the bat. They seemed to be looking for gold and you already know why, Zo. Over." trilled Vicious.

"Oh and be careful around that big mountain in the Southeast on 'Vic'. There's at least one indigenous creature native to that world- and it's humongous, my friend! See ya on 'Vic'. Oakenshield out." trilled Zorin and his leering face vanished from the vidscreens.

"Vicious out. OK, turn this vessel about and head for 'Victorine' and do not drop our 'cloak'. Better mask our vapour trails and muffle our thrusters and afterburners, boyos. 'Catwoman'! You and the 'Widow' get on the scanners. I wanna know if a space gnat takes a dump within a hundred kilometres of us. Got it?" snarled Vicious.

"Aww, have a heart, V! I just came off 12 hours o' KP duty and afore that, I had a double shift guard mount, man! I'm bushed!" said the 'Black Widow'. Vicious thought for a moment and then pointed to Ming the Merciless who had been misnamed! He was nothing but a crybaby!

"Ming will fill in for you this shift. Get some sleep, 'Widow' and spell Ming at midnight. 'Zandar Zan' will take over from the Cat at midnight. I really don't give a damn who's on those scanners so long as they are manned for the duration of this voyage. Otherwise- heads WILL roll! Kapish? O'Malley! Make sure our weapons are fully loaded. That includes the small arms and our newest toy that we 'borrowed' from Dr Cueball's labs at the 3WA! I'll be in my quarters if ya need me." ordered Vicious and he picked up his Samurai blade and headed for the lift.

Shall we leave both of these vessels bound for 'Victorine' and instead head right straight to their destination and see how the colonists are faring?

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"I said that I was feeling OK, sir. And you look like you need some dispatching help too. I used to work as a dispatcher for a space trucking company. Well, it was only a summer job. That was the year before I joined the 3WA, sir. And--" said Thelma and the big Triceratops dinosaur alien 'truck push' grinned at the girl.

"OK! Call off your dogs already, Honey! Light! Over here on the double, laddie." yelled Dynamo and Light Yagami came over to see what his boss needed.

"You bellowed, Mr Dynamo?" asked Light, tipping his cap to Thelma. Then he caught sight of her epaulettes and her new Warrant 'stripes'. He raised his fist for the galactic salute and then dropped his hand to his side again. As a First Lieutenant, he outranked the 'striper' so a salute was not needed. However, Thelma remembered and saluted Light belatedly. He returned the salute and then shook hands with the girl.

"Take Miss Williamson over to the comm hut. Show her the ropes and stuff. She's gonna be our comm relay dispatcher. That'll save your shoe leather, kid. I don't really trust that apple chompin' pal o' yours around those explosives. See ya later, Thelma." growled the big guy and Light beamed a smile to his new replacement.

"Follow me, Thelma. You have any experience with dispatching loads?" asked Light. She grinned back at the 'Death Notebook' 20 year old guy.

"A little. I worked for 'Waldess Industries' a few summers back as a 'truck push'- before I joined the force, sir." replied Thelma.

"OK. That's your vidmike hookup and that's the vidcode chart. You simply assign loads to rigs. Got it? (She nodded) Oh and I'm Light and I'll call you Thelma, OK? I hate military protocol and so does Dynamo. Any questions?" said Light.

"I don't see any destination codes, si-- I mean, Light." replied Thelma. "I mean where--" she added confusedly.

"That's because we don't need any destination codes. This is the 'staging area' and everything we send out is going to the same place- the newly erected 'Victoria City' on the other side of 'Mt Peabody'. Just assign loads to rigs. That's it. Simple. Anything else you need, kiddo?" asked Light.

"Well, I could do with some lunch and a jug o' java. If it's not too much trouble?" asked the girl.

"Just use the 'repper' on that table behind ya, Thelma. You do know how they work, right?" replied Light.

"Oh. Sure, I do. I didn't see it there, Light. Thanks. Don't worry. I'll be OK now. Oh, could you please tell the Prez where I am, Light? I am supposed to be 'OD' tonight at suns' set and--" stammered the worried girl. Light smiled.

"No problemo, milady. I will personally inform Miss Poe that you're working with us. You'll be too tired to be 'OD' tonight though. I'll have her replace you with another officer. No, you won't get into any trouble, kid. Don't look so shocked, my dear. Ya hang around 'mind senders' enough, it's sure to rub off on ya. I seem to be able to read some minds every now and then, especially those of the younger crowd. OK! I heard ya, 'Ryuuk'! More apples comin' up! Oh and if you see a big tall dude that looks like seven kilometres of torn up aetherways, that'll be 'Ryuuk'. He's harmless, but he's been hangin' around the Ninja and Demons so he may be a little flippant towards ya." laughed Light. She looked a question at him.

"He's a 'shinigami', a 'death god', but he's under orders not to kill anyone without permission. He may come in here for apples. He's addicted to them. Like I am to smokes and booze. Just 'rep up' a bushel or two for him and he'll be as happy as a clam. I gotta go and you have work to do! Comin', Boss!" yelled the Earther guy.

"Let's see now. Hmmn. 4,000 'Nitroglycine' blocks for someone named 'Ahura'? Oh yeah, that big 'Djinn' guy giant. Guess I'll assign 'em to Number 6 rig. Mr 'Bear' the 'ice roader' and John Kinchloe, the former 'Stalag 13' POW. Yes, they are both responsible enough to haul boom booms without blowing themselves up. (She picked up her vidmike and keyed it) Attention in the huts! Will Mr 'Bear' and Mr Kinchloe please report to the 'dispatch hut' as soon as possible. Please bring your vid ID cards and rig vidpapers with you. This is the new dispatcher, Warrant Officer Third Class Thelma Williamson. That is all. Out."

When she had finished speaking, she hung up the vidmike again and began to fill out the necessary vidpapers and vidforms for the shipment destined for the giant 'Djinn'. 'Ahura is foreman on the ground clearing project for the new courthouse on Mason Square, Thelma. We trust him implicitly. Sorry! I forgot how unnerving it can be to hear someone's voice inside of your own skull, my child. Not to worry. Light told me that you are their new dispatcher so I have made Colonel Peabody 'OD' for this evening. Until further notice, you will be our rig dispatcher. However, I want you to get at least six hours of sleep between your shifts. I'll have someone take over for you at two tomorrow morning, my dear. Have fun. Allie Poe out.'

"Man! Is that ever weird! Wonder how come I can't 'mind send' or read minds or nothing? Oh well, mine is not to reason why. Mine is but to do or die. Now, where did I put my PDO unit?" mused the new Warrant Three, repping up a big lunch and a big jug o' java.

"Staff Sgt John Kinchloe reporting as ordered, ma'am." said the big tall former POW NCO of 'Stalag 13', snapping to attention and saluting Thelma. Thelma placed her right fist across her left breast- the galactic salute.

"Bear reportin' as ordered, ma'am." said 'Bear' the ice roader without saluting her.

"At ease, gentlemen. Your vidpapers and vidID's, please." replied Thelma, holding out a gloved hand for the requested vid-docs.

"Here's mine, Honey." said 'Bear', doffing his cap.

"And mine, ma'am." chuckled John.

"What's the joke, Sarge?" she asked.

"Oh, nothin', ma'am. Just that I was reminded o' the dozens o' times that a German soldier asked for my papers back at the stalag. O' course, they were usually forged by Alvin (Newkirk) or Andy (Carter). They were never questioned though." replied the big dark sergeant.

"These are genuine though, I take it, Mr Kinchloe? Mr 'Bear'?" she asked dryly and they both assured her that they were.

"Very good. Here are your orders. Four thousand 'Nitroglycine' blocks for Mr Ahura in the new city. They will be loaded in Rig Number 6 and ready to go by the time that you have finished your dinners, gentlemen. Questions?" she said efficiently.

"You doing anything Saturday night, Sugar? Or don't you newly commissioned officers fraternize with us non-coms, Warrant?" asked John Kinchloe.

"As a matter of fact, I, er, already have a date for this weekend, John. However, thanks for asking. Yes, 'Bear'?" said Thelma.

"Same route as before, ma'am? Through the mountain tunnel and past the stalag? Then, up the aetherway to 'Vic City', right?" asked the older rig driver.

"Affirmative. Be sure that you let Mr Dynamo or Lt Yagami know when you're leaving. Dismissed." she said, saluting them again.

"Uh, we are supposed to salute you, not the other way around, Warrant. Bye." said John with a wink.

"C'mon along, Casanova. I told ya that she had a thing goin' with that big gawky Samurai guy with the specs, didn't I?" chuckled 'Bear', clapping his partner and co-pilot on the back.

"Like Bobby (Hogan) always says- 'Nuttin' ventured, nuttin' gained', pal. Let's get some chow." replied John.

"Amen to that, brother. No offense, son." said 'Bear'.

"None taken, my friend. There doesn't seem to be any prejudice in this century. At least, I have yet to see any. Mmmmnn! I smell roast duck! Let's hurry before the chow hounds get it all!" said John, double-timing it towards the dining hall. 'Bear' tried his best to match the younger guy's speed, then gave it up and settled into a stroll.

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"No! No! No! Hamilton! Perry says that I cain't have an office next to yourn! Why the heck not?" demanded Ben Matlock, attorney-at-law.

"Because we are defense attorneys, Ben! Hamilton's a prosecutor even if he isn't the district attorney anymore. I have put your offices on the next floor above. Will you explain it to him, Michelle?" said a frustrated Perry Mason who was poring over the details of his architectural drawings for the new 'Vic City CourtHouse'.

"Perry! I need a bigger office!" yelled Paul Drake.

"We need a bigger office, Darling! I'm your partner in the biz as well as your partner in bed!" snapped Yancie Drake-Drew.

"Mrs Drake-Drew! A little decorum in your language, if you please!" yelled Hamilton Burger, first assistant DA of the new city.

"Perry? Now that I notice it- I need a tad more space in my office as well." said Della Street, handing out java to everyone.

"I don't like the colour scheme, Mr Mason and--" began Michelle, Ben's partner lawyer.

"That is E-NOUGH! I am going home! We'll take up these matters tomorrow!" yelled Perry.

"And why are the damned courtrooms almost on the roof?" screeched Mr Burger at the top of his lungs.

"Can't blame Perry for that one, Hammy!" snarled Paul. "Galactic Law states that courtrooms must be within easy walking distance from the roof because that's where the main parking docks are located." he added.

"What about the lifts? Surely they could be used to get to the lower floors?" suggested Lt Tragg, burping on his beer.

"Here! You read it, Arthur! 'Galactic Law 2260'. Section XXV, SubSection XVII, Paragraph XIII. Explains all about the unreliability of the lifts in this quadrant! So the lifts are out!" stormed Paul Drake.

"Ladies! Gentlemen! A little less noise, please. Um, I just came up to borrow some sugar." said His Eminence, High Reverend Chapel the Evergreen. Seventy floors down were the 'Ecumenical Offices' for his parishes. Why church offices were in the law building was something that none of them could fathom. However, since it was just a few offices the size of an amusement park, Perry had grudgingly agreed to allow him to share their building.

"How's your cathedral coming along, Reverend?" asked Della politely while she was loading sugar, creamer, java beans, tea bags, candy, cookies, pastries and practically the entire larder onto an anti-grav trolley for the big preacher.

"Splendidly, Miss Street. Nick (Wolfwood) has the ne'er-do-wells painting the place for me- Tom Sawyer style. Oh, do you have a few extra PDO units, my dear? And some extra vidfile folders? Thank you ever so much. Well, I will allow you to return to your 'discussions' now. Ta ta for now and thanks again." said Chapel, trundling his over-laden trolley out of the door of the 'war room'.

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"Look, my lord. They have already arrived and the colonization has begun! Look at that city, sire! Sire! There is a deposit of the 'yellow metal ore' here! Where shall we put down?" said the 'Number One' Cybreman officer.

"Land us on the Southeastern side of that tall mountain, 'Number One'. Do not drop our 'cloak'." ordered his superior.

"Are you certain that 'Her' flagship is also headed for this world, my lord?" asked his exec.

"She will be here before nightfall. I hope that we can find that mine before suns' set and be well away from this miserable planet. Take us down." commanded the Cybremen's Leader.

END of Chapter 1. Chapter 2 'Law & Order' or 'Ahuran Antics' coming soon. Have a swell weekend. Read/Review/Suggest away. Reviews & Suggestions always welcome here! See ya soon, folks!- Thelma and Your Friendship Team.




OK? All set to go? OK then I will try and make the wait a very short one. Yes, I have to revamp this opening chapter a bit to blend in the end of Places w/ the start of Victors. Then and only then can I finish up Victors before the end of this year. I am shooting for Christmas though.

Thanks again and read/review/suggest away.- keimanzero

that is a heckin lotta text

Momogari wrote:that is a heckin lotta text

And that was one of my shorter chapters, Momo.

BTW, I did it at long last! I have finished the final chapter for Victors of Victorine and have finally ended an adventure begun 1999 (in another Century) w/ Christmas With the Dirty Pair.

I had to revamp parts of Victors of Victorine so I will post here both the revamped Chapter 20 and the final chapter of Victors, Ch 21.

Please Read/Review/Suggest away because I have not yet decided on a new ff, a new title or a new plot or theme. Any suggestions are welcome even if they seem silly or mundane.


Because ANML refuses to allow me to post a link to my own documents you will have to bear with two long chapter posts or (Listening Momo?) go here:-


https://www.fanfiction.net/anime/dirtyp ... fvictorine


VOV Ch 20 'Back to Normal' or 'Seeking the Blade'

DISCLAIMER: Story Teller Guy's feeling a bit too much holiday cheer today so I have finally decided to come in and assist him. My name is The Keiman and yes, I am the creator of the O'Halloran and the Donovan Angels although the original Kei & Yuri Lovely Angels/Dirty Pair, were created by Haruka-San Takachiho who also created the Crusher Joe characters.

Most of you know that Yuri was made a Donovan because in Gaelic history, the Donovans were a powerful ruling royalty clan. However, many of you have asked why Kei is an O'Halloran and we told you that was because I once saw a very old horror film called 'Dementia 13' which was directed by Francis Ford Copola and produced by Roger Corman and which was set in Ireland in the family castle of Clan Halloran.

In Gaelic lingo, 'O', 'Mac' or 'Mc' before a name means son of or grandson of that clan. The Hallorans, besides being a very powerful clan were also quite notorious as, my pardon to any Hallorans or O'Hallorans out there, thieves, brigands and murderers. Sounds like Kei, right? Well, I saw that film last night- So now ya know.

OK, it's my task to deliver the diclaimer this time around. We thank all of the creators whose creations we have used, are using or may use in future writings. We especially thank Mr T w/o whose Angelic creations, there would be none of these starship reports and other sagas.

Now, I trust that everyone enjoyed our little take-off on Mr Dickens's classic 'A Christmas Carol' or 'Scrooge' as Hollywood has dubbed it in later remakes. Please forgive us for playing a bit looser with the story and characters, but pastiches are not easy to write w/o their sounding hackneyed and repetetive.

OK. Somehow, Dr Cueball and Wolfie, his research assistant in the 23rd Century for the 3WA's R&D department, have managed to snatch the 'Outlaw Star' and 'Blackmail Special' gangs back through time and space to Minerva where their mission will now commence. I know they need to seek the terrible sword on Fryygia, but- oh Hell, they miscalculated. Now begins the next part of our latest saga:

"Will you please get off me, Melvina! Ye gods, girl! You weigh a ton- at least!" howled James West of the 1885 Terran American Secret Service. "I apologize, Mr West, sir. However, my foot is stuck under some kind of pedal. I will attempt to pull it free." replied the Star's robotic android girl.

"NO!! Don't even flinch, Honey! No telling what that pedal's for. Hmmn. Jimbo, according to the vidscreen, we are back in AD 2261 and it's 2 January. We are back on Minerva. Professor Challenger! Can you assist me, please? We don't want to leave on another joyride, sir." called Artemus Gordon, Jim's agent partner.

"Oh my stars and great Caesar's ghost! Hold her foot as tightly as you can, Mr Gordon. Stay absolutely motionless, Mr West. That treadle is used to travel between parallel dimensions in space and time. I say- MacDougal! Could you please bring me some duct tape? Thanks. Please hold that treadle up as high you can while I tape it in place. Thankee.

"My dear? Try and pull your foot loose, please. As gently as possible, Miss M. There we go. You can get off Mr West now, my dear and do go and dress- please. We may be older gentlemen, but we are still men. How will I ever explain to my dear wife that I have been traveling through Victorian England and the future aether with a nude female child? Oh dear, oh dear." said Ed Challenger.

"I don't have anything to worry about, being a bachelor like Holmes. John, what wife are you on now?" chortled Dr Professor Sir Hiram MacDougal, the 3WA's resident archaeologist. "Jennie LeBeau is my fifth wife, sir." replied John Watson coldly.

"Before I get dressed, when are we lifting off for Fryygia, Captain?" queried Melvina. "We all need a good night's rest, my dear. We will lift off at suns rise tomorrow. You may as well get dressed." said Territorial Sector Chief Garner. He had berthed his 'Blackmail Special' shuttle belowdecks beside 'ALF's whatever it was. Challenger and MacDougal transported Ed's 'time travel machine' down to the docking berths belowdeck and, as an added precaution, the shuttle, 'ALF's 'car' and Challenger's 'machine' were all locked and all 3 vessels were placed behind forced beam barriers.

It had been decided that everyone would travel aboard the Star for the entire voyage to the frigid icy world near Mongo. After a light dinner (They had all pigged out at Fred & Gracie's Christmas dinner party back in AD 1860), everyone went to their quarters while 'Winston' kept the Star in orbit around Minerva.

Lift-off occurred at suns rise (0500 hours or 5 AM) and they were now rocketing along at a mere 35 Warp or 35 times the speed of light.

"Captain Starwind? We will make for Mongo before we go to Fryygia. We will need a guide when we reach Fryygia." explained Garner. "You are thinking of the princess's lady-in-waiting, 'Mademoiselle Flossie', sir?" queried 'Winston' and Garner nodded.

"Who?" asked a yawning Hildy who had just awakened. "He means 'Florabelle de Luana' who assisted us on Mongo when we defeated 'Lord Ming' for 'Prince' now 'King Varin'. She knows that ice world like the back of her hand." answered Hiram MacDougall.

"Aw! That's two whole 'lightys' off our course, man." whined Jimbo Hawkins. "Don't argue with me, sonny. Just do it. Head for Southern Mongo. Flossie usually takes her winter holidays there." said Garner.

"At least it'll be warm, won't it?" asked Grandma Dorothy. "A Southern Mongo winter is usually around twenty below zero Kelvin, Dottie. In your lingo, minus 25 degrees Fahrenheit." chortled ALF. "Yes, but Southern Mongo has a weather shield barrier so it feels like Miami Beach does all year round, Furball." explained 'Hot Ice' Hildy.

"OK. You win, old man. Jimbo, lay in the fastest course for Mongo." sighed Gene. "You heard all of that, 'Winston'?" asked Jimbo H. "Of course. However, we have no power to move yet. Miss Mel is still napping, sir." replied the computer programme.

"I'll wake her up, guys." offered Lynn Tanner and she jogged down the hallway to the bedrooms. "There's nothing on TV, Willie." complained 'ALF' who was carrying a huge bowl of chips 'n dips in one paw and a vidTV remote unit in the other.

"What TV, 'ALF'?" asked Willie. "The big one back in that space room. Darned remote must be busted or it needs batteries." replied the alien dust mop. "That's no TV set, 'ALF'. That's the 'star window's vidcam monitor screen." explained Gene, helping himself to some chips. "It's polite to ask first, Captain. Ain't that right, Katie? That was one of Kate's rules when I moved into their house." said the 'ALFmeister'.

"Since they're our chips and our dips, why should I ask? Did you ask?" chuckled Gene. "Who swiped my chips, dammit?" howled Aisha who was balancing several trays of goodies and beverages in her paws. Kate, Willie and Artie each grabbed a tray before the nekomata catgirl alien dropped everything. Catching sight of the bowls in 'ALF's paws, she glared icy green daggers at him.

"Jimbo, see if ya can get anything on vidTV for us. I'll take first watch. West'll spell me followed by Willie, Ed, Hiram and Artie. Show our guests to the 'TV and game room'. How long 'til we reach Mongo, 'Winston'?" asked Gene. "A few solar hours, sir. We should make planetfall around dinnertime, 1700 hours (5 PM), Captain." replied 'Winston' who was always very polite unlike his 'Cousin CC' back on 'Shimougou'.

"What's a 'lighty', Dad?" asked Brian Tanner. "Ask little 'Lord Know-It-All'. He seems to know all about this place." replied a sarcastic Willie. "Of course I do. It's an abbreviation for 'light year', the distance light takes to travel from the sun to the earth- 186 million miles per second so Mongo's about 400 million miles away from here. Like 'Winston' said, a few hours at 35 Warp." explained 'ALF'. "You've been there before, 'ALF'?" asked an amazed Kate Tanner.

"Many times. 'Ming' was always stirring up trouble until the 3WA finally got rid of the little pest. Hey, Chuck! Has good old Varry been crowned King of Mongo yet?" asked 'ALF', glancing at Mr Garner who nodded abstractedly while perusing his PDO unit. 'ALF' ambled over to Garner and peered over his shoulder, lowering his voice to a whisper.

"Are we really going after the 'Ten Sword', Chuck?" whispered the astute alien and again Garner nodded. "Have you ever been to Fryygia, 'ALF'?" whispered Garner and it was 'ALF's turn to shake his head. "I haven't been there in years which is why we need Flossie for a guide. Hence, our side trip to Mongo. Last time we were there, I had the 'twin terrors' along with me. They are both on long overdue vacations and I don't need Donovan and O'Halloran around to screw things up." whispered Garner. "Gotcha, pal. Mum's the word, man. Um, Chuck? We sorta need a new toaster in the galley." whispered 'ALF'.

"Might I ask why?" replied Garner. "How was I supposed to know what would happen when I put cheeseburgers in it, Chuck?" whispered 'ALF'. "When you did WHAT!!" howled Garner and everyone turned towards him. "Aisha? Please 'rep up' a new toaster for us and please don't ask me what happened to the old one, my dear. Thank you." said Garner. "I hope 'ALF' is going to behave himself this time, but I doubt it." whispered Willie to Kate. They were playing bridge with Jim West and Artie Gordon. Grandma Dorothy was reading the famous 'CC Moore' Christmas poem to Brian and Lynn while Jigen and Goemon were listening attentively.

Jimbo H was helping Becky, Fujiko and Hildy to whip up dinner in the galley. Melvina had stumbled sleepily to the bridge, shedding her clothing along the way and was now 'powering' the 'Star' stark maked and yawning. 'Winston' obligingly decreased their speed to 31 Warp so the robot android girl could power the vessel and nap at the same time. The first 'shortcut' was still an hour away and 'Winston' could easily negotiate it without human assistance. Lupin was ensconced in the ready room (office) behind the bridge with Ed Challenger and Hi MacDougall where they were deciphering the runes on the ancient Fryygian vidstar charts.

"That fortress won't be a piece o' cake to get into, guys. Any of those runes gonna help us, gents? 'Pops', this time I am being asked to steal something for the good of humanity. Gimme a break, will ya? Put those cuffs away and go watch TV or shoot some pool or something, man. I give ya my word that I won't steal anything while I'm aboard this ship. OK?" grumbled Lupin.

"OK, Loo-pon. Just remember that I'm a-watchin' ya- real good. You two call me if he tries anything cute and that's an order." snarled 'Pops' Zenigata, Lupin's nemesis from Interpol. "Rest assured, sir. If we need any help, we'll call ya so split." said Professor Edward Challenger. He was exasperated. "These runes are not 'Coptic'. Nor are they' Cuneiform', 'Babylonian' or 'Celtic'." said Dr Professor Sir Hiram MacDougall.

"Of course they ain't. They're 'Melmacian'." piped up 'ALF' who was standing in the doorway. "Are you certain?" demanded Ed while Hi grinned. "I should think the laddie would know his own language, Eddie, don't you?" chuckled the big Scotsman archaeologist. "I suppose so. OK, translate it for us, young anteater." said the weary British scientist and inventor from Terra's Victorian Era.

"There are three quatrains here- so far. Hmmn. 'Strike the bird thrice when the moons have arisen to reveal the keyhole'; 'Use the key which is guarded by the last Melmacian visitor' and 'To reach the 'Blade of Blades', to rise ye must fall'. Now, turn the chart over and get me a candle." said 'ALF'. Ed went off in search of a candle. "Go down to my 'car' and bring up my suitcase, Mac. Hurry up if you want that key." said 'ALF' and the big Scotsman strode off towards the lift banks. He ran into Ed along the way who had found a box of wax tapers and some matches.

"Let's wait for Mac to get back with my suitcase." said 'ALF' to an impatient Ed Challenger. "Here ye go, me old boyo. Damned heavy, I must say. What ha'e ye got in here, rocks?" chortled Hiram. "Light a candle and hold it precisely sixteen centimetres above the chart. Yes, I said 'above', not 'below'. Just do it, Eddie baby! Now where's that danged key. OK, here 'tis. See the outline in the candle glow? Now, I place my 'key' (It looked more like a child's toy yoyo though) thusly and look!" yelped 'ALF' when the far wall was illuminated by a beam of greenish yellow light.

"My word! An ancient 'hologram'! Hot damnation!" swore the Scotsman while Ed's mouth dropped open. "Look fast, guys. Better yet, snap a pix w/ yer vidcellphone- quick! See that thing in the middle what looks like a crucifix? That's the 'Blade of Blades' mentioned in the third rune." explained 'ALF'. Hiram snapped several vidphotos and then a strange gust of wind extinguished both candle flame and 'hologram'.

"But what does it all mean?" demanded Ed. "Aye, little laddie. Makes nae sense at all to meself." agreed Hiram.

"Hey! All I am is the keeper of the key. I remember me old great-grand-dad 'Thomas Shumway' telling me that I was destined to be the last survivour of 'Melmac' and he made me swear never to reveal that I possessed the 'key' unless it was a matter of life or death for the Universes. He didn't know what any of it meant either. You're the eggheads, not me. I translated it for ya. The rest is your own problem. Here's the 'key' which is supposed to unlock the 'Great Eastern Gate' of some old fortress or castle. Guess we'll find out soon whether we can find that old sword or not. Hey! I smell food! Must be dinnertime! See ya!" yelped 'ALF' and he scampered off to stuff his face and fill up his eight stomachs. (AN: Melmacians have only 10 internal organs and 8 of them are stomachs)!

---

"Hullo there, Miss Flossie. This is Charlie Garner. Remember me? 3WA? Right. Hate to bother ya on your vacation, but- I need a favour. D'ya know Northern 'Fryygia' where the old fortress is located? Yeah, you and your boss lady used its outer walls to hold back Ming that time we helped you guys defeat him and put Varin on the throne of Mongo. OK, I need a guide to take a mission team to that fortress- and inside it. (Garner held the vidphone away from his ear when Flossie began shouting) I ain't askin' ya to do it fer nothing!

"How does 5K UniCreds sound for a few days' work? 12K? Seven. OK, 10 it is. We'll be on 'Fryygia' in another day or two. Gimme yer co-ordinates. Unh huh. Got it. See ya soon. Pack yer snuggies. Guess I don't gotta tell ya that. The ship? Called 'Outlaw Star'. Yeah, we'll rent a couple of 'ice skimmers' when we get to 'Norwyka' (A province in N Fryygia where the fortress is located) No, I'll pay for that too. Honey, we are after the 'Blade of Destiny'. Calm down, please. We ain't gonna use it! 'God' (Mr Galadriel the self-proclaimed 'God of the 3WA') wants it destroyed before 'Young FuManchu' can get hold of it. I'll brief ya fully when we get there. Sure, I'll arrange things so that you get an extra fortnight of vacation time. Your boss lady owes me quite a few favours.

"OK. See ya soon, love. Sayonara. My best to your sister and Varin. Toodles." said Garner, cradling his vidphone.

"Get us a guide, Chuck? Burp." asked 'ALF' who never knew when to mind his own business. Garner grinned. "Sure did. Gonna cost Mr Galadriel 10K, but he's given me a blank cheque for this mission. Son, not a word about our quarry to anyone. 'Young Fu' could have invisible spies aboard this vessel. Don't even think about that weapon we're after. In this era, almost everyone can 'mind send' and mind speak'. Leave any food for the rest of us." chortled Garner.

"Kate and Dottie are cookin' up a storm in the kitchen, Chuck. Even I couldn't finish everything! Burp." replied 'ALF'.

"Which part of 'Fryygia' are we headed for, Mr G?" asked Jimbo Hawkins. "These co-ordinates, son. In the South. We have to pick up our guide. Know anybody who can rent us a couple of 'ice skimmers' in 'Norwyka'- up North?" asked Garner.

"I don't, but I think that Gene knows a broad who runs a rental place near the old fortress. Want to join me for dinner? That is, if the fuzzy 'Teddy bear' left anything for us." chuckled the Star's navvy.

"Delicious, ladies. My compliments. Melvina! Please don't walk around the ship in your underwear! We have children aboard. What's our ETA? I assume that young Hawkins has given you and 'Winston' the new co-ordinates?" asked Garner.

"Yeah. Around elevenish tomorrow morning. Gene found us a shortcut to Southern Fryygia. "Mom! That lady's running around the ship the same way that Lynny used to when she was a little kid!" yelled Brian Tanner. "For heavens sake, girl! Have you no shame? Put some clothes on, dear." cried Grandma Dorothy, covering the boy's eyes. "Hubba hubba, baby! She's really stacked, Willie! Not like Katie or the old witch!" chortled 'ALF' and Willie Tanner pretended that he was somewhere else.

"Get dressed, Melly and that's an order too!" yelled Captain Gene Starwind who was shuffling through several vidstar charts. "Relax, guys. I put the ship on 'George', er, 'Winston'. Who the Hell ate the last blueberry muffin? As if I didn't know, right?" grumbled Gene. "Just tell the witch and Willie's old lady to bake some more fer ya, 'Starscreamer'. That's what they're here for, right Willie?" replied 'ALF'.

"I believe that I am going to take the kids to the 'star room'. I wouldn't rpeat what you just said around Kate or Dorothy- if you value your life, 'ALFmeister'. Come along, Lynn, Brian." said Willie Tanner who wanted to put some distance between himself and his resident alien Melmacian.

---

The next morning at ten hundred hours or 10 AM, 'Winston' and Melvina orbited Southern Fryygia while Artie and Garner took a speeder shuttle down to the surface to pick up Flossie. A doey-eyed ash blonde 20-something wearing a khaki jumpsuit and boots had just hopped out of a 'holotaxicab' when 'Uncle Charlie' coasted his speeder to a halt beside her.

"Uncle Charlie! I thought that you said elevenish? It's only a bit past ten, man. Good thing I checked out early. Hi there, sir. Name's Florinda but everyone calls me Flossie. Pleased ta meet ya, man. Well? Get my stuff outta the 'holocab', Unkie. Thank you, sir. Oh, I mean Mr Gordon, OK, Artie. Unk? Can you pay the 'droid driver please? He only takes UC's and all I have is local 'Zennies' and 'Double $$' bucks. Thanks." said Flossie. Artie held open the gull wing door for her and Flossie stepped into the speeder's rear seat.

"Strap in, my dear. Hands clear? OK, let's go." said Garner, snapping the top shut. Artie secured the doors and they lifted off smoothly. Within a few minutes, Flossie was being introduced to the passengers and crew of the Star. "You look tired out, kiddo. Sorry, but you'll have to share a room with Becky and me. Follow me." said Fujiko, hefting two of Flossie's suitcases while Brian Tanner grabbed her overnight case and 'ALF' hefted her remaining two suitcases.

"Hi there. You must be Flossie. I'm Rebecca, call me Becky and I see you've already met Fuji. We're in those two bunks so you can have either of the other two- upper or lower. "I'm claustrophobic so I'll take the upper one, ladies. Thanks a lot, guys. See ya later, man. Bye." said Flossie. Fuji glanced meaningly at the furball and the kid. Brian bowed and left while 'ALF' ogled the newbie until Becky firmly shoved him through the portalway. The portals swished shut and the two helpers were left standing in the hallway.

"Not even a tip! She could have at least kissed us!" growled 'ALF'. "Why on Earth would she do that?" chuckled Willie Tanner when 'ALF' told him about their non-reward for playing bellhops to Flossie. "She'll get used to him, Daddy. Ooh! Look, Brian! A shooting star!" cooed Lynn Tanner, pointing out the 'star window' which was really a vidscreen for the exterior vidcams.

"That ain't no shootin' star, Lynny. That's a humongously big starship! Not Federation or 3WA neither. 'Captain Starscreamer'! Get your butt in here! Now!!" yelled 'ALF' and Gene came hot-footing it down the companionway to the 'star room'. "What's wrong, furball? Holy jumpin' 'Hot Ice Hildy'! Yo! Aisha! Come to the 'star room' pronto!" bellowed Gene into his comm badge.

"Can't a gal even take a bath in peace on this tub, man?" howled the nekomata catgirl alien who was dripping wet and- stark naked! 'ALF's eyes popped, Willie covered Lynn's eyes while she covered Brian's. "Is that one of your 'CtarlCtarl' ships, Aisha?" demanded Gene. Kate arrived and yanked a tablecloth off the central table and draped it around Aisha. "Nope. That's an R-Class battle cruiser. Can't quite make out her name. Somebody raise the 'window's magnification to plus a thousand. (Gene did so and the faroff ship seemed to leap through the heavens) Unh huh. The 'Wandering Gypsy'. Ever hear of it, Hildy?" asked Aisha.

"Yeah and I hope to heaven your eyes are wrong, Kitty Cat! Oh no! It is the 'Gypsy'! Get Garner and I mean now! That's 'FuManchu'! The guy we don't want getting hold of you-know-what! For Kriss-sakes, she's decent- sorta. Lynn? Go find Garner, but don't mention the ship to him. The walls may have ears and eyes, kiddo." ordered 'Hot Ice' Hilda. Lynn took off.

"What the Hell's all the hubbub here? Oh my socks and garters! It's 'Young FuManchu's vessel! How far off is he, Gene? Are we cloaked, 'Winston'?" snarled Garner. "Relax. About a thousand 'Lightys', Chuck. Yeah, we're still cloaked. I suggest that we loop around to the dark side of Fryygia and approach 'Norwyka' from the East. That way we'll have the light side between us and 'Fu'." said Gene and Garner nodded. "Make it so and do it fast. Don't go 'hyperspace' just yet. We'd have to drop our cloak and I don't want 'Fu' following us." ordered Garner.

"Willie? Tell the old geezer (Garner) that other ship's headed for the 'Timonian Galaxy'. If he noticed our exhaust stream, he'd have closed with us." said the obnoxious Melmacian furball. "He's right, Chuck. The 'Gypsy's headed West. I agree with Gene though. We shouldn't take any chances of being spotted. It'll only add a solar day to our voyage anyhow." pointed out Hildy.

"Yeah, but we can't use Gene's shortcut now. Wait! How about the 'Vegetan Trough'? It runs through where the 'Saiyaan' homeworld used to be and then continues through the space dust that used to be my homeworld of Melmac. That'll bring us out damned close to 'Norwyka' and still keep the light side between us and anyone trying to follow us." suggested 'ALF'. After all, he used to be on a Space Patrol so he must know his way around the galaxies, right?

"Fine. Do it. It's like having 'She Who Will Be Obeyed' in command all over again." sighed Garner. Most of the ship's inhabitants had no idea what the Dickens he was yakking about. However, those who DID know were keeping mum. Garner had enough problems already. "Mr Shumway? ('ALF's real moniker was Gordon Shumway) You will take over navigational duties. Hawkins will become a fore-gunner. OK, move it, people! Time it be a-wasting!" snapped Garner. 'ALF' broke the speed record and Jimbo wasn't far behind the lil furball.

"Yuck! Look at all that junk out there, Kate. What's up w/ this place?" asked Grandma Dorothy. 'ALF' looked sad and so did Gene. "That's all that's left of two great civilizations, Granny. On the left is the once proud warrior world of 'Vegeta', homeworld of the mighty 'Saiyaan' race. On the right is what used to be my home- 'Melmac'.

"That long stretch of space between 'em is the 'Vegetan Trough'. It'll lead us East to the dark side of 'Fryygia's Northern province of 'Norwyka'. The great old fortress of 'Frosty Acres' is not more than 500 kilometres from there. We should be there by tomorrow night. 'Winston', Melly? Hard a-starboard and floor it. The sooner we get there, the better, man." ordered the Star's new navvy.

"By your command, sir." replied Melvina and 'Winston' simultaneously. The ship accellerated and went into a tight corkscrew turn. Soon they were rocketing through a collection of space flotsam and jetsam. Everyone not on the bridge had their faces pressed against the side 'windows' of the vessel.

---

"Sire? I am no longer picking up that 'pinging' so it must have been 'residual fallout', my lord." reported the 'Wandering Gypsy's scanner officer, 'Lt Commodore Ishidora Moto'. "Really, Ishi? I am not so sure, my dear friend. 'Sir Denis Nayland-Schmidt' is no fool. I am almost certain that he has been dogging our tailfins ever since we left 'Minerva'. 'Irina'! My pot of green tea is empty. What was it that we learned at that inn before we left, Ishi?" asked the silky-voiced Chinese Mandarin whose ancestour had been the insidious 'Dr FuManchu' and whose name he proudly bore.

"Only that the 3WA's top Sector Chief Garner had visited them with some officers from the 'Outlaw Star' and met the gang of that expert art thief, 'Arsene Lupin III'. Oh yes, and for this mission, their nemesis from Interpol, Inspector Zenigata, has joined forces with Lupin's gang and the 3WA. Master, do they seek the 'Blade of Destiny' as well?" replied Ishi.

"Most assuredly this is true, Ishi. Ah, thank you, my dear child. Green tea clears the mind for deep thought. Have some, Ishi?" asked the tall, cadaverous Chinese warlord who resembled his ancient Terran ancestour.

"Thank you, Master. Oh no! Not again! Did we have to drag that blasted crybaby along with us, Sire?" asked Ishi, accepting a cup of tea from 'Irina Fah Lo Suee FuManchu', his Master's lovely niece.

"No doubt you refer to that deposed dictator, 'Ming the so-called Merciless'? It is written in the stars that he who shall first lay hands upon the 'Tenth Sword' shall unlock its true potential and lose his life in the process. Would you care to be that person, my friend? No? Neither would I. Hence, our need for this foolish former 'Emporer of Mongo'. More tea? No? Then please return to your scanning duties." said the warlord quietly.

"Please send 'Lord Arkuro' to my quarters, 'Miss Zenna'. Thank you, my child." said Fu into his vidphone. A few moments later, a tall and regal-appearing Oriental entered the room and bowed deeply. "Arise and sit with me, my friend. Tea? No? Very well. What is our present course?" asked his Master.

"We are heading West towards the light side of Southern 'Fryygia', my liege." replied 'Arkuro Takashi' who was the ship's navigator. "Ah, that is not good. Please to alter our course by 180 degrees, my friend." ordered his Master.

"But Sire, that will take us to the dark side of the South-" began 'Akuro' before Fu waved his hand impatiently. "No. We must head for the dark side, it is a fact. However, I wish to reach the Northern hemisphere of this ice world. Understood?" commanded his Master.

"Sire, the honourable 'Lord Moto' picked up that signal in a generally Southerly direction. In my opinion-" began Takashi.

"I do not wish for your opinion, mongrel!" shouted a furious FuManchu. "No doubt the fools are going to pick up some sort of 'guide' in the South. Their ultimate destination must be the same as ours- 'Frosty Acres' and that is in the North. No doubt they will need to rent transport upon their arrival. We already have 'ice skimmers' aboard and need not waste precious time. So make for 'Norwyka Province' with all possible speed. Is this clearly understood? (Takashi nodded) Then make it so. We must reach the castle before this 'Oulaw Star', Arkuro. Dismissed." ordered Fu and Arkuro bowed and left him.

---

"Good job, son. Glad that your friend remembered that place that rents skimmers in 'Galajorn Province'. We only lost a few hours and now we can fly straight to 'Frosty Acres' without a stopover in town." said a grateful Garner.

"That's good, Chuck because the 'Gypsy' is not far ahead of us." said a grim-faced Hildy. Everyone raced for the 'star windows'.

"I don't see anything out there, Miss Hilda." said Brian Tanner, his nose pressed to the glass while 'ALF' fiddled with the 'window' controls. 'Hot Ice' Hilda sighed and lit a cheroot before replying.

"I didn't say that I 'saw' anything, kid. I have 'mind speak' and 'mind send'. In other words, I have 'sensed' its presence by 'reading the minds' of a few of the inferior beings aboard the 'Gypsy'. Captain, they are no more than a few hours ahead of us." said Hildy. Garner looked worried.

"Then they will reach the fortress before us, my child?" he asked worriedly. She nodded and sipped her java.

"Sure. However, they will need to solve the same riddles as you have in order to get inside the place. Yes, the young Chink somehow has dupes of our vidstar charts and that old grimoire of yours, Hiram." sighed Hildy.

"Maybe they'll leave the door open for us, guys." suggested Gene while Hawkins made a circuar motion around his head and pointed to his older shipmate. "I doubt if they will even if they had that option, Captain." said 'Winston'.

"He means that once a riddle is solved, the castle will allow the gateway to remain open only long enough for Fu and his co-horts to get through before it seals itself again. Par for the course for magical talismans and such." growled Ed Challenger who was dropping cigar ashes all over the floor. Sir Hiram MacDougall nodded sagely and agreed. "Not really the sporting thing to not make us solve our own riddles same as the young Chinaman." he laughed.

"Questions?" asked Garner. "Isn't it dinnertime yet?" asked 'ALF' who was hungrily alternately eyeing 'Lucky', the Tanners' pet cat and the ship's own nekomata catgirl alien, Aisha CtarlCtarl. "Stop lookin' at me, man. Ya gimme the creepy crawlies." snarled Aisha.

"Don't even think about it, 'ALF'." cautioned Willie Tanner. Aisha scooped up 'Lucky' and left the room.

"Us kitties gotta stick together, kid. Want some catnip?" said Aisha when she had locked herself in her bedroom with Lucky.

"I think we could all use some sleep, folks." suggested Artie Gordon and everyone agreed. Artie and Jim West lagged behind the others and stared out of the 'star room's 'windows'. "Senny sen for 'em, pal." asked Artie and Jim sighed.

"If we ever get outta this mess and get back to good old Earth, do me a big favour, Artemus. Whatever we come across that is unusual, please leave it alone. Wow! Look at that thing out there. Flashing lights and a 'Save the Jacarondas' bumper sticker on it." replied Jim West. A furry something hopped onto the sill and stared at the new starship.

"Huh? 'InterGalactic Space Command' all the way out here? Wonder why?" queried 'ALF'.

"That is our back-up, Mr Shumway. Hildy 'mind sent' for it on my instructions. In case you have not noticed it, gentlemen, this vessel is devoid of any heavy firepower. The 'Nova Hellsing' is a 3WA ship currently on loan to the 'IGSC'." explained Garner.

"Not the 'Vampiress's ship, man? Oh wowie wow wow! 'Vickie' always gives me the heebie-jeebies!" meowed Aisha who was cradling her new kitty cat friend Lucky in her arms. Aisha had changed into jammies, kimono and slippers and now she was quite fit for mixed company.

"Yes and please don't tease her or 'Lord Alucard'. You know how sensitive they are about their, um, condition." warned the silver-haired oldster Sector Chief.

"Vampires? Really? You mean like blood drinkers, man?" howled the furball. Garner grinned. "Not to worry, little bear. They only drink animal blood." he explained. "Not from aliens like you, furball." chuckled Gene. "Their boss lady will not allow them to harm anyone or anything so stop fretting." said Hildy. "Better warn them to cloak the 'Hellsing', Captain." warned Garner.

"Jimbo's gone to comm relay 'Sir Integra', Chuck. There. See? They just cloaked. I don't think the 'Gypsy' even noticed them." said Gene. It was true. The starship had vanished from sight. "Time for some shuteye, folks. See ya in the morning." yawned Garner and they all retired to their rooms except for 'ALF' who gazed wistfully at what was left of his homeworld.

---

"What does that first rune say, 'Lord Algernon'?" asked FuManchu. The 'Gypsy' had landed and cloaked itself on the high escarpment which overlooked the old fortress known as 'Frosty Acres'. 'Lord Algernon Wickersham-Kramer' grunted and squinted at the parchments he had laid out on the floor of the 'ice skimmer'.

"Hmnn. 'Strike the bird thrice when the moons have arisen to reveal the keyhole.' is how I make it, Sire. This ancient 'Melmacian' scrawl is difficult to read. Damned lunatics couldn't write worth a shit. A 'keyhole' means we need a 'key' though. In any case, the 'moons rising' means nightfall so we must wait until dark in any case." observed the spindly-legged archaeologist.

"What bird, milord?" asked 'Irina' quietly. The elderly scientist pointed above his head towards the battlements.

"I should think that one up there, my dear girl. "The gargoyle?" suggested Takashi. His lordship nodded sagely. "Must mean a hidden keyhole to be revealed at moons rise. "How many lunar planets surround this world, milord?" asked FuManchu.

"Six, Sire. We must wait another four hours for suns set. Awaken me then." yawned the elderly archaeologist.

"They must have the 'key'. My niece, do you think that you can 'jump' to the 'Outlaw Star' and find this key we require?" asked the Mandarin and she nodded. "Very well. Prepare thyself for my invisibility formula. You gentlemen must wait for me at the gates of this castle. As you know, my invisibility formula can only work on bare flesh and my niece's modesty must be protected." said FuManchu firmly. The others quickly left the 'ice skimmer' and huddled together under the ice encrusted trees a short distance beyond the gates.

"Quickly now, my child. Divest thyself of thy garments." commanded her uncle and unabashedly, 'Irina' stripped to the buff. Fu began muttering incantations in a language that was old when the Universes were still new. Slowly, the raven-haired girl vanished into the aether until she was completely invisible. "Hurry now, my dear. Remember that this 'key' could look like anything. However, notice that stone bird above ye. That figure's image will more than likely be upon the key somewhere. Go now and godspeed." he added.

The invisible girl cocentrated 'chakra power' into her feet and legs, flexed her knees, prayed to the luck god 'Kwan Yin' and leaped upwards as far as she could while picturing the interior of the 'Outlaw Star' in her mind. Soon she was traveling faster than light itself until she stepped out onto the cold deck floor of the 'Star's central hallway.

"Ain't my fault that the damned 'key' looks like a kid's yoyo. The sacred 'Fire Bird' is engraved on it so it's the goods, man." mumbled 'ALF' who was toying with the yoyo from his own vessel. 'Irina's eyes lit up with a cool green fire and the Chinese maiden smiled. This was going to be easier than she had thought it would be.

"I will take that, thank you, little one." she breathed, snatching the toy from 'ALF's paw. "Quickly now. Back to Uncle Fu- Oh dear! What is happening? I feel so strange and- No! I can see my hand! That means that I am becoming visible! I cannot 'jump' when I am visible! I must hide!" she thought to herself. Suddenly, the cold of the ship began to penetrate her naked body.

"Wow! Where'd you come from, baby? Hey! That's mine, dammit!" howled the little furball, snatching away the yoyo.

"Gotcha, Honey! Don't struggle so damned much! Artie! Get some cuffs and some rope. We have a prisoner." yelled Jim West who had the now fully visible 'Irina' in a painful hammerlock. It was the work of a few moments to bind and gag the naked girl despite her squirming and cursing. Hildy appeared on the scene and sent Lynn to bring clothes for their captive.

"You need not fear my escaping, my friends. I am powerless to 'jump' when I am visible. I thank you for covering my nakedness. My uncle will reward ye handsomely for me. He is- announced the Chinese girl haughtily.

"Young Dr FuManchu unless I am greatly mistaken, child." said Garner. "So- Uncle Fu knows about the runes, but does not have a 'key' to unlock the gateway, eh?" snapped a jubilant Professor Edward Challenger.

"Like the Terran TV star 'Sgt Schultz', I know no-thing, eminent scholar, sir." she snarled.

"Seems that we have no other choice save to keep 'Miss Irina Fah Lo Suee FuManchu' as our hostage. Her uncle is undoubtedly awaiting her return at 'Frosty Acres'. She was sent to steal the 'key' from us. I have heard of her venerated uncle's experiments with 'forbidden jutsu', especially the ancient 'spell of invisibility' which only works on naked flesh. We are in a bit of a dill pickle here, ain't we?" mused Sir Hiram MacDougall.

"No other way into this place, professors?" asked Willie Tanner. "None that I ever heard tell of, Tanner." growled Challenger and Hiram shook his head sadly.

"Then let's have another gander at those charts, gents." suggested Artie Gordon.

"That looks like an old tunnel on the Eastern face of the wall." pointed out Jim West. The scholars agreed that it might just be worth a try. Aisha placed a strange looking silver-chased tiara around 'Irina's shapely coiffure.

"This will keep her from 'mind sending' to dear old Uncle Pain-in the-rumpus. I do not trust this bitch one little bit." snarled the nekomata catgirl alien and 'Irina' looked daggers at her. However, with her hands 'force beam' cuffed, she could do nothing.

"My uncle will be cross with me for allowing myself to be captured." cooed the maiden. "Why? It's his own damned fault ya got to be seen by us, ain't it? His magical spells wore off, didn't they?" said 'ALF'.

"Of course, with him waiting at the gateway, we cannot very well use our 'key', can we?" asked 'Dr Watson'. "No, indeed we cannot, old fellow." agreed 'Sherlock Holmes'.

"Have 'Winston' take an Easterly heading and land us near the Eastern wall, Captain." ordered Garner.

"I say, where are our 'ice skimmers', eh?" asked Gene when they had landed and re-cloaked a few hours later.

"On their way here, I hope. I made arrangements with those Terran 'Ice Road Brigade' pilots." snapped Hildy. Suddenly, a huge 'space rig' swooped low and set down in the middle of a wide ice-covered river. The canopy popped open and a fur-clad figure emerged followed by another fur clad figure. "They look damned familiar. Not any of the 'Ice Guys' though." said Garner.

"Hullo there, guys! Sorry we're a tad late, but I had a lousy navvy." said the first figure, flipping back the hood on her parka. "Not my damned fault, Xy! You grabbed the wrong vidmaps at that space truck layover place, man!" snarled her companion, a guy.

"As I live and breathe! 'Brigadier Hogan' and 'Captain Xylo Phone'! Glad ya could make it, Bob, Xy. I trust you brought our skimmers?" asked Garner anxiously. Hogan nodded and yanked open the rig's airlock portal. "Yeah, 'Bear' claimed that he and the rest of the 'Ice Roaders' had been re-assigned to a secret mission. Transporting some kinda 'Gundam Mobile Suits' for 'Uncle Vito' (Galadriel) but it's a hush hush top secret deal. Hiya, 'Hot Ice'. How's tricks? Still hangin' atound w/ that crazy kitty cat and that asinine assassin babe?" laughed Xylo, trundling the last skimmer down the ramp while Bobby Hogan re-secured the airlock portal.

"Ugh! Are they the best ya could get, old geezer? They're ancient!" said 'ALF' while Willie attempted to apologize for the furball's bad manners.

"We were lucky to get these four, Fuzzy. And they are AD 2255 models so they are only about half a decade old. Excuse me, Bob, Miss P. Where d'ya think you're going?" said Garner when the two fur clad Eskimos headed back to their rig.

"We have a week of R&R, Chief. We are goning to spend it on 'Orion 6' and-" cooed Xylo excitedly. Garner shook his head.

"No, as of now you and the Brigadier are part of my mission team. Not to worry. I have cleared it with Mr Galadriel and when this mission ends, you'll both have a month of R&R to spend together. Can your rig 'cloak'? (Xylo shook her head) Then get it aboard the 'Star' quickly. You'll travel with us on one of the skimmers. Sorry, but I must insist this time, my dear." apologized Garner.

"OK. Bobby, better grab our gear before I dock our rig aboard Gene's ship. Anybody need parkas, gloves, winter boots, scarf or ski pants? We brought along a lot of 'em." drawled Xylo. The Tanners, West and Artie started grabbing the furs. FuManchu's daughter was the only one besides Artie and the Tanners who bothered to express her gratitude. Remember that she had arrived aboard the Star completely nude.

An hour later, the four ice skimmers jetted off towards 'Frosty Acres'.

---

"Well, there's the gateway, guys. No sign of your uncle though, Honey." said Gene. 'Frosty Acres' loomed above them. The fur-clad svelte raven-haired niece of Young FuManchu grinned. "No doubt my uncle has relied on our overconfident navigator. They are probably behind this fortress. For your own sakes, I urge you to leave this evil place. My grandmother told me that this is a haven for spooks and demons." replied Irina.

"Look, guys! The moons are rising! Who's got the key?" yelled 'ALF", pointing a fur-mittened paw at the now revealed 'keyhole' high above them.

"Let us take care of this, folks." said a confident Jim West, firing a miniature grappling hook at the wall. "NO! Do not do that, Mr West! You have forgotten the booby traps!" howled Edward Challenger, diving for cover behind a skimmer.

Suddenly, multi-coloured light beams began blasting them. The 'weather shield barriers' deflected the beams which stopped as quickly as they had started. 'ALF' stuck out his paw and Hiram MacDougall gingerly placed the scuffed 'yoyo' into the alien's paw. 'ALF' dug through his rucksack and came up with Brian Tanner's slingshot. Using the 'yoyo key' as a projectile, 'ALF' fired the 'key' straight and true (Surprisingly!) into the 'keyhole'.

There was a deep rumbling sound and the mighty gates dematerialized as if by magic! Willie Tanner came hurrying over to the alien's side. "Do you have any idea what would have happened if you had missed that shot, 'ALF'?" he snarled while Brian demanded his toy from the wily alien.

"But Willie- I didn't miss, did I? So let's just go and find this old sword, OK?" replied 'ALF' and Willie threw up his hands and walked back to his family.

"Once more into the breach, dear friends- once more." quipped Xylo who had once read a few of the immortal Terran Bard's plays.

"Yes, by all means. Lead the way, young Teddy bear. I fear that I must trouble all of you to hand over your weapons to my accolades. Come, ladies and gentlemen- no heroics if you please. Take a look behind your 'ice moving crafts' where the causeway joins the highway. The balance of my crew are still aboard my ship and they have guns trained on all of you.

"Careful, Mr West, Mr Gordon. If I lower my right arm, my minions will open fire. However, if I lower my left arm, they will power down their weapons. I propose a temporary truce. We must work together if we are to recover the 'Sword of Ten', my friends. We each possess half of the means of reaching the immortal blade safely. In your parlance, do we have a deal?" asked a tall and slender Chinese Mandarin warlord of an indeterminate age.

"Where did you come from, man? Who are ya?" yelped 'ALF', shoving Dorothy, Xylo, Lynn and Kate in front of himself. Big brave 'ALF', right? Irina laughed with scorn. "He is my uncle, little bear. He possesses secrets handed down from our illustrious family lineage. Appearing out of thin air is mere child's play for him. I congratulate you, my honoured uncle. You masked your presence quite well, sire." she said, bowing and curtseying to the elderly looking old grandfather figure.

"You're lying, sir. You possess nothing of value to us." growled Aisha.

"I would not be so cock-certain of that, young lady or kitten or whatever you are. However, of one thing I am quite sure. The insidious Dr FuManchu always speaks the truth." said a harsh male voice coming from behind Irina. Her eyebrows rose a centimetre. That was the sole sign she gave of being surprised by this newcomer's appearance.

"Greetings, Commissioner of Scotland Yard Sir Denis Nayland-Schmidt. You have also masked your energy well. However, Sir Denis does speak the truth. My honoured master would never tell a falsehood. Test him with Miss Prince's 'golden lariat of truth' if you still disbelieve, dear friends." said Irina, showing the grizzled old bearded gentleman the same respect that she had just shown to her master/uncle.

"What do you have that we don't, Grandpa?" demanded Jimbo Hawkins angrily. Dr FuManchu smiled.

"You already possess the star vidmaps with the three riddles and the 'key' which you have just used to unlock the gateway portals. However, know this. 'Frosty Acres' was not built by any ordinary race. This fortress was constructed by the 'Daleks' who are a machine race of aliens originally from the now destroyed world of 'Kaled'. I need not remind you, Sir Hiram MacDougall, what sort of 'booby traps' they have been wont to use to protect their investments." said the tall Chinaman quietly.

"And are we to assume that you know how to get past these so called 'booby traps', sir?" asked Willie whose eyes had not left the Chinaman's space vessel. FuManchu had lowered neither of his arms- yet.

"Of course he does, you fools. But, why the olive branch offering, Fu? Why not attack these people by force. I presume that your 'Dacoits' are with you?" grumbled Sir Denis, grinding a cheroot beneath his deck boot's heel.

"Because I am their prisoner, honourable Commissioner. I was careless, sir." replied Irina.

"My niece was foolish, old friend. Where is your companion, Sir Denis? Dr Petrie? Another mission, perhaps?" chortled the tall lean Chinese warlord. "Dr Petrie is as close as this police whistle and he is not alone, Fu." growled the Englander.

"Now who is the liar, my friend? Ishi, show them that photograph upon your vidcellphone. (Ishi Takashi complied and held up his phone which clearly showed a slightly stoutish tall gentleman and a lovely blonde woman seated beside him) Notice the time stamp upon the photograph, Sir Denis. Mr Garner, sir? Do we have an agreement or do we not, sir?" asked Fu quietly.

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"Ouchie! Stop yanking on my bracelet, sir! That darn well hurts!" yelped Yuri Donovan.

"Sorry, my dear lady. Where the Hell are we anyway?" asked Johnny Berringer. "We are all going to die!" whined crybaby Ming the Merciless. "I sincerely hope we are not where I think we are! But this looks a lot like 'Skarran' where the 'Davros' created his 'Dalek' machine race of pests that raised merry Hell w/ the 'time jockeys' of 'Gallifrey'." replied a worried Lord Captain Khan.

"That is exactly where you are, gentlemen, Madam Donovan." said the oily voice of Young Dr FuManchu.

"Search them for weapons, Jigen." ordered Arsene Lupin III. "I want to find that treasure trove of the 'Knights Templar' and get the Hell back to 'Shimougou'." he added grimly. "They're clean, Lupin. However--" said Jigen, lighting another cigarette.

"Oh, for Kami's sake. I'll search milady myself. Let's go, sister." grumbled 'Fujiko Mine' whom along with the big Samurai warrior 'Goemon Hayakawa' made up Lupin's gang of thieves extraordinaire. She led Yuri into an alcove of the cavern. A few minutes later, she dragged the violet-maned minx vixen back to the others and shook her head at Lupin. "She's clean, Lupin, except shell need a fresh pair of underpants." chuckled 'Fujicakes'. Yuri looked quite embarrassed.

"What doth thou seeketh, Intruders?" roared a voice of thunder.

END of Chapter 20. Chapter 21 'Treasure Hunt' or 'Lupin Does His Thing' to follow as soon as possible. We apolgize for this much delayed chapter posting. An early Happy Mother's Day to all of you from Your Frinedship Team.- The Keiman.

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Victors of Victorine Ch 21 'Treasure Hunt' or 'Lupin Does His Thing'

This will be the final chapter to Victors of Victorine. It will also bring to a close the entire saga begun many years ago with Christmas with the Dirty Pair.

DISCLAIMER: Greetings dear friends, I am Young Dr FuManchu and I have courteously agreed to do the honours for this portion of the records of the 3WA. We thank all those whose creations have made our long voyages possible and we will graciously allow anyone to use our own creations provided we are given the credit which is our due. Tit for tat as it were.

As we are all looking for the same treasure trove of the ancient 'Knights Templar' order which I have tracked to this bleak world of 'Skarran' and since my niece Irina is a prisoner of the 3WA, we have all agreed to join forces including our latest guests who appeared out of nowhere.

I refer to Madam Donovan, Mr Berringer, Lord Khan and Emporer Ming of course. After many wrong turns and near fatal encounters with the traps laid by the Templars, we have at last reached the final stage of our quest. I am weary now so I will turn things over to Mr Lupin III.

"We seeketh the treasure of your Order, sir." I shouted and I felt like a damned fool answering a voice inside a deep cavern.

"Are ye prepared to take our Oath? I must warn thee that if ye ever break thy Oath, thou shalt never leave these caverns alive." rumbled the voice of the 'Keeper of Skarran'.

"The ancient scrolls said nothing about any bloody Oath, pal!" screeched Irina and her uncle boxed her ears.

"I will take thy Oath, my lord." replied FuManchu. He raised his withered hand and swore never to reveal the secrets of time and space to anyone who had not taken the Oath of the Templars. The 'Keeper' intoned a long diatribe in a language that none of the others recognized yet Fu seemed to understand him perfectly and intoned 'I so swear' at last.

"Very well. First, thou must locate the 'Sword of the Usurper' key. Second, use this 'key' to release 'Lord Kronos' from his sleep and finally, thou must answer his riddle correctly. Be warned! Thou shalt have only three chances to answer the 'Titan of Time' correctly or you will join him in his millennia of sleep." instructed the voice solemnly.

"And the treasure?" I demanded anxiously. "If thou answereth correctly, all will be revealed to thee. Now go." roared the 'Keeper's voice. "No clues, man?" asked Jigen. "The 'key' is guarded by 'Talos'. Look to his ankles. I can say no more. May the good Lord guide ye to what thou seeketh." was the cryptic reply of the voice.

They all looked puzzled until 'Wasp Girl' snapped her fingers and pointed towards the far wall of the cavern. "I dunno guys but that sure as shootin' looks like what we want! A sword shaped like an old-fashioned jailer's key for a dungeon in ancient times, don't it?" yelled an excited Susan.

"That's it for sure! Grab it, Khan, and let's go!" shouted Johnny Berringer. Ming jumped forwards and reached for the weapon suspended from the ceiling of the cavern by a slender wire. Khan grabbed his outstretch hand and yanked him back down. "Look, Stupid! See that wire? It's attached to something above us hidden in the shadows. Don't you remember what happened to the poor crooks in those 'Home Alone' vid-films we watched on the ship?" growled Khan.

"Yeah and they were only up against a schoolkid brat!" agreed Johnny. "Then how the Hell do we get the damned thing down?" whined Ming the Cowardly. Young FuManchu looked thoughtful before pointing to his niece. "Irina. Please use your levitation skills and fly up to the ceiling for us. Take care not to touch that wire. Tell us what that wire is attached to up there." said her uncle quietly.

"OK but if I lose my concentration up there, someobody had better catch me." said a nervous Irina. She sat down and assumed the Yoga position known as the 'Lotus', closed her eyes and began to mumble a series of chants. "Do not leave thy home without it. Find new roads. What is in thy wallet? It is what thou doest. No credits down are needed for thy purchases. Thy dragon sleepeth this night. Om. Om. Om." she intoned and the girl began to rise very very slowly.

"Well I'll be damned." said Lord O'Malley, Vicious's Number One. "Most certainly that will happen if my niece falls because of your talking and breaking her concentration." said Uncle Fu, his eyes never leaving Irina's svelte lithe slender form.

"Then how does she tell us what's up there I wonder?" thought Lord Khan. "By 'mind sending' to myself of course, Lord Captain. Please think very quietly. My niece can also read minds as well as send to them." whispered Young FuManchu. "Aha. The wire is attached to a crumbling wall above this ceiling and the slightest tug will bring the entire cavern down on top of us." said Fu.

"Irina, can you lower yourself to the sword? Do so then. (The girl suddenly materialized beside the sword 'key' of the 'Usurper' whoever he was supposed to be. Her eyes remained closed.) Very carefully, with your mind alone, my dear. Untwist the wire from the weapon while keeping the sword levitated beside you and be very very careful not to disturb the wire too much. Work quickly before your nerves betray you, child." This was the message 'mind sent' by her uncle to his niece.

Slowly the wire began to untwist from the hilt of the 'Usurper Sword' while the blade itself remained motionless in the aether. "Now lower the weapon carefully to the floor taking care not to move the wire at all or none of us will ever leave this cavern." 'min sent' Fu to Irina and sure enough, the sword lowered itself to the ground and then very carefully laid itself on the floor of the cavern. A few minutes later, Irina had lowered herself to the ground. I went to assist the girl to rise only to be held back by Goemon.

"The child is in a trance and it would be most perilous to awaken her too soon." whispered Uncle Fu and I sat down again. Slowly her eyes opened and she blinked several times before rising to her feet still in the strange 'Lotus' position with both crossed arms and legs. Her uncle snapped his fingers and Irina awakened and asked if she had done OK. "You have done well, my dear child. Now you must rest. I believe we should make camp here for the night, my friends. Mr Lupin, please bring me that sword. Never fear. It is quite harmless unless it is being wielded against you, me boyo." chortled FuManchu who was for once in a jovial mood.

"Here ya go, Gramps. Hey! What a kooky name for a sword! 'Mo-Dred'!" I chuckled and suddenly everyone was looking at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears! The name was familiar somethow but not as the name of a weapon- like ' 'Excalibur'! That was it! King Arthur! 'Modred' was Arthur's illegitmate bastard son whose mother had been Morgana. This was her son's sword. 'Modred' was the 'Usurper' who almost killed his father to claim the throne of the Britons!

"Quite correct, Mr Lupin. (Would I ever get used to this 'mind read' thing?) This is, indeed, the sword belonging to the 'Usuper' of King Arthur, Lord Modred who was Arthur's bastard son." explained FuManchu. "Now we must find the blasted prison cell and free this Lord Kronos using that thing as a 'key'." snarled Lord Vicious who was thirsting for action.

"Could that be it?" asked 'Wonder Girl' pointing at a box cage suspended from the ceiling and I swear it had not been there a second ago! "Then where's the guard? This 'Talos' chap?" asked Jigen, igniting yet another cigarette. Goemon, 'Pops' Zenigata, Fujicakes and I all followed suit and soon the cavern was like a smoke filled boardroom in Trump Towers!

"I don't know if that thing qualifies as this 'Talos' character but he sure looks mean to me." said 'Brigadier Klink' who was still miffed that 'Helga', his former 'Stalag 13' secretary, had decided to marry 'Colonel 'Wolfie' Hochstetter' instead of the former Kommandant. His bony finger was indicating a huge statue that filled the cavern and which likewise had not been there before!

"Thou hast stolen the 'Key of Time' and now seeketh to free the Titan of Time himself from his millennium of sleep. This thing shalt thou never accomplish." rumbled a voice of thunder and the 'staue' began to move towards us with an upraised bronze sword that was the length of the 'Lovely Angel' patrol starships- a good mile or more! He continued advancing and slashing at us albeit rather slowly and clumsily.

"Look to his ankles, fools! Remember what the 'Keeper' told us, man?" shouted 'Helena, the Hawk Girl' who was already racing towards the statue's feet. Then I saw it too! What Helena had seen. 'Talos's right heel had some sort of bronze 'plug' on it. Obviously designed to keep something inside the monster's frame but what?

"I cannot do this thing alone! A little help perhaps is indicated?" said Helena sarcastically and we all rushed to her assistance and finally Goemon's 'katana' managed to yank the 'plug' out just before a sparkling dust or powder began spewing out of the monster and onto the floor of the cavern!

At the same time, 'Talos' dropped his sword and clutched at his own throat with both of his hands which were the size of Rhode Island! Then he swayed back and foth, barely keeping himself upright and then-- CRAACCCK!!! 'Talos' cracked up and began to fall to pieces and we backtracked out of the cavern chambre- except Ming. He fell and we fled for our lives! There was a massive explosion followed by a deafening crash and then all was silence again.

'Lord Vainamoinen', our Viking companion from 'Kagura' shrugged his enormous bronzed shoulders and picked up his battle axe which was so heavy, fifteen men could not even drag it more than a foot! "Time, it be a-wastin', lads, lasses. Don't we gotta free some old guy from that funny box in there? Then he better tell us where this treasure o' his be or else! Who be with old 'Vainee'?" he yelled and his warriors screamed their battle cry- 'Sacking and Looting!'- and raced after their leader, arms loaded with sacks and chests to hold their treasure! Those guys give us honest thieves a bad name, folks!

"Look at this mess! I sure as Hell ain't gonna clean it up, guys!" yelped 'Diana Prince' who was tired of running around half naked as 'Wonder Girl' and had changed back to her human form which was wearing a jumpsuit, boots, gl;oves and a dozen overcoats and scarves. The strange silvery 'sand' which had filled 'Talos's immense gigantic 'body' was everywhere in the chambre. Fu had dropped the 'Modred' sword in his haste to save his own hide, even shoving past Irina in his haste to escape.

I bent down and picked it up by the hilt and the hilt came off of the sword above the crosspiece! "Unh unh! Now the 'Knights' order will make you pay to have that fixed, Lupin. You broke it." chuckled Fujiko who needled me constantly but I still adore the skirt- a lot. Marriage? Me? Wait a sec. I am married- to that Italian bombshell heiress- Rebecca deMonet!

"Let me see that, son." demanded 'Professor Edward Challenger' who was our resident archaeologist in the absence of old 'MacDougall' who was back on 'Shimougou' teaching classes at the 3WA Academy. Never knew when digging up busted pots and pans might come in handy to a 'tro-con' copper!

"Why this be yer key, ladies and gents. That was a real serendipity (a happy accident) when the head crook there broke off the hilt. This is what we need to free Lord Kronos!" announced the professor in his booming voice.

"Correct!! So get on with it already! I have slept for a thousand years and that is long enough! Release me at once or--" boomed out a voice that filled the cavern! "Or what, big mouth? You're like the Djinn in the bottle whom, when released from captivity, instead of being grateful to his benefactor, instead tried to kill him. (Jigen turned to me and whispered "Then the old fool got tricked into going back inside the bottle where he learned some manners.") So do your very worst, sir." invited my wheelman and firearms expert.

"Or it will be the end of all Creation and Creations for all of Time itself." replied the voice in a quieter tone. That sobered us all up and damned quick too!

We hurried across the floor and we saw that the 'box cage' was some hundred feet above our heads. Bart the 'Green Arrow' sauntered over and he raisded his crossbow. "No problemo, folks. I will just shoot the wire holding that thing up there and--" chortled the archer. "No, you fool! Remember the wire that held up the sword? What if that wire is attached to another disaster waiting to happen?" warned 'Bulma Brief' who had tagged along with us to keep her hubby (Vegeta the Prince of the Saiyaans) outta trouble.

"Hey Irenee! Get yer fanny up there see what's what. Chop chop, kiddo!" ordered Johnny Berringer. Irina remained where she was. "Fool! My niece is exhausted and cannot levitate for another solar day at the least." snarled Uncle FuManchu angrily. Maybe he does care about the kid after all.

"OK. Then 'Wonder Girl' can do it. Transform, Di and show 'em." yelped 'Wasp Girl', Susan S. "Honey, I can't fly. All 'Wonder Girl' can do is leap straight up and a hundred feet is a piece of cake. Only I have to land on something solid and if I land on the 'box cage' up there--" explained 'Diana Prince'.

"All Hell will break loose down here!" finished her Father, LaMont 'Shadow' Cranston who had been amusing himself flitting in and out of the shadows. "Ya got that right, boyo! One yank on this wire and you will awaken the 'thousand years old dragon', 'King Ghidorah' for certain sure. So no way can you guys and gals untwist the cage from the wire like ya done with the word in there.

"But there's no need to do any of that stuff. The 'key' is not for this 'box cage' which I am not inside of anyway. It is for a 'lock' that keeps me imprisoned in 'N' space's dimensions- 'N' for 'Nowhere'." boomed out Lord Kronos's voice.

"Then you're the real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land, ain't ya, man?" cooed 'Cynthia Stevens' aka the 'Black Widow'. Cynthee never was the brightest bulb on the tree! "Yes, child. I am that and I wish to leave this 'NowhereLand' asap so get on with it and find the damned lock already!" howled Lord Kronos.

"And the treasure?" we all screeched as one voice. "All will be revealed as soon as I am free so huryy it up, guys and ladies." he replied from everywhere at the same time. "Hey! Why is that wall glowing green I wonder?" asked 'Hawk Girl' pointing at the side wall. A beam of green light seemed to be joining the 'box cage' above us and the glowing wall.

"I may well have taken leave of my senses, 'Police Girl', but what if the lightbeam itself is the 'lock' and only needs the 'key' to interrupt the beam? Try that, king of thieves." suggested 'Lord Alucard' the vampire chief of 'Van Helsing Enterprises' aka 'The Extermination Squad'. 'Police Girl' was his disciple human girl turned vampiress, 'Subaltern Seras Victoria' of the 3WA.

That was when I realized that I was still holding the sword's 'key' when 'Ming' (Thought he was lost when 'Talos' blew up?) grabbed for the 'key', eager for the loot it would unlock! I watched in horror as the 'key' flew from my grasp and Ming's and passed right through the green lightbeam and-- no! It was suspended within the beam itself. Suddenly the whole cavern shivered and then vanished!

We were all standing or sitting in a huge brilliantly lighted hall! We were clearly inside some palace or castle. "Thank you, my dear frioends, for freeing me from that 'time corridor'." boomed out Lord Kronos who was seated on an immense throne made of clocks and other things that tell us the time! Well he was the 'King of Time', wasn't he?

I strolled down the hall to stand before the throne which was some forty feet above my head and I am 6'4" tall. I bowed deeply and dropped to one knee. "Your Majestic Highness. Sire, I humbly request that you fulfill your portion of our verbal agreement by handing over the treasure trove of the 'Order of the Templars'. Thank you, sire." I finished my speech to a raucous thunder of applause and cheers from the whole gang.

Kronos raised his hands to quiet them down and then spoke. "Friends, I am most grateful for all of your hard work and foir setting me free at long last. However, I am sorry if you did this for material gain or profit. You know how humble was the 'Templar Order'. Although they were as rich as Croesus himself, they themselves despised wealth. Before that fateful Friday the 13th day, when Philip the Fair (Nothing but a dirty cheat and a rotten crook. Another dude that gives honest thieves like us a bad name, man!) ordered their knighthoods revoked and their Order closed and ordered their leaders to be burned at the stake for heresy and sorcery, neither of which were true by a long bowshot, they did not 'hide their booty' which gave rise to the treasure trove idea like Philip had imagined.

"No. They had secretly arranged for their bounty to be shared with the world's poorest people using secret guardians who encircled the globe- Earth. The loot found earlier by the 3WA in AD 2247 was actually the treasures of some obscure greedy emporer from another world in a faroff galaxy- a world called 'Hashooeen'. The Templars contracted to hide the loot for this old meanie but when he refused their payment for this service, they moved his treasure to where the 3WA team and you, Lord Captain Khan, found it." laughed their host.

"But the 'Keeper' told us that you would tell us the location of the treasure, sire." pointed out 'Sherlock Holmes' who had tagged along because his colleague, 'Dr John H Watson, MD' was our group's medical officer and the great detective was bored. Really most of us had forgotten the famous duo was even with us!

"And so I shall, dear friends. Life. Life itself. Creation itself. Time itself. Are they not treasures enough for thee? To know that thou hast saved both Time and Creation and all of the Universes doth not make thee proud? No? Well-- then hast thou ever heard tell of the 'Admiral of Persia' known as 'Pere Reis'? He is rumoured to have discovered both the 'Jar of Pandora' and the 'Library of Alexandria'. Now I have a pal who has an old star charts map and--"

END of Chapter 21 and the end of both 'Victors of Victorine' and this very very long saga itself which was begun when we posted 'Christmas With the Dirty Pair'. Incidentally, the early arc within an arc known as 'Galactic Treasure Hunt' explains how the 3WA acquired a treasure trove they thought was the loot of the 'Templars'. Now please read/review/suggest and let us know what you think our next fanfiction should encompass. All suggestions welcome no matter how silly or mundane they may be.

As promised, we have finished 'Places Between the Stars' and 'Victors of Victorine' and have brought to a climactic closure (?) this thrilling saga of the 3WA and their staunchest heroines- Kei O'Halloran and Yuri Donovan in the not so distant yet-to-come eras!- keiman and kei, Keiman of Anime, Story Teller Guy all of whom as you know are myself- Jack McElwee

Campbelltown/Palmyra PA USA
thekeiman0@gmail.com BTW, I am also a beta reader at FFN

I just received this eMail message from minion89:

Dear keimanzero,

minion89 has just replied to a thread you have subscribed to entitled - Sorry for the long hiatus, dear tomodaschi mine! - in the AL Journals forum of Animeleague.

This thread is located at:
showthread.php?122591-Sorry-for-the-lon ... to=newpost

Here is the message that has just been posted:
***************
Great because of the knowledge you share with us, I will always follow your blog and will share your blog with my friends.
mapquest directions
***************

I cannot find that reply from minion89 anywhere in this ALJournal page.

It's been so long since I posted here that I do not recall which moddie I can ask for help w/ this dilemma.

As you can see, minion89 has also included a Mapquest page of his or her location.

I want to reply but Gmail will not permit replies from Animeleague at all! Can one of the admins or moddies please contact me at

thekeiman0@gmail.com
keiman0@yahoo.com
keiman.zero@yahoo.com

You can use any of the three but Gmail is my mainstay eMail address. Thanks and stay healthy. Sayonara for now.- Jack/keimanzero
Campbelltown PA USA

Oh yeah and do ANY of you folks here know the title of the anime this pix hails from. I love it and I know I saw this anime years ago but I cannot recall its title at all. Another friend suggested it was Oreimo but that is not the correct title. As I recall, it was re two Japanese schoolgirls- one was a modern day kid teen and the other was her pal but she was a Yakuzza princess like The Gokusen. Reminded me of the old Patty Duke TV series. Thanks again and have a swell weekend.- Keiman of Anime

[mention=19575]keimanzero[/mention]
Hi keimanzero.
The message that was left in your journal was a spam message.
I removed it because it contained a suspicious link for people to click on.
The user was leaving comments in multiple threads across the forum, yours and a couple of other peoples journals being one of them.
We get these occasionally on Anime League, they pretend to be people and try and get others to click on their websites.
I hope this helps and you are staying safe from the coronavirus.
I have sent you a PM aswell.

Teeny wrote:[mention=19575]keimanzero[/mention]
Hi keimanzero.
The message that was left in your journal was a spam message.
I removed it because it contained a suspicious link for people to click on.
The user was leaving comments in multiple threads across the forum, yours and a couple of other peoples journals being one of them.
We get these occasionally on Anime League, they pretend to be people and try and get others to click on their websites.
I hope this helps and you are staying safe from the coronavirus.
I have sent you a PM aswell.

Thanks very much for the concern, Stardust Crusader. I thought it strange to have a reply from an ALJ last replied to before Xmas 2019 and I never ever got a Mapquest link to someone's domicile.

I must ask this, my friend. Is your avatar a character named Bulsimia or something from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure- Golden Wind? He certainly looks like the 'cappa' who just tried to deliver Trish to the mysterious Boss who is supposedly her father! B intends to kill him because of all the misery he has caused his family and others by trafficking in narcotics.

If I could impose once more. I use this wallpaper from an old anime arc for my PC. I saw the series once but only once before on Adult Swim Toonami. I have since forgotten its title and a friend at another Q&A website suggested it may have been Oreimo but the characters and plotlines are not familiar to me.

This anime concerns two BFF schoolgirls in Japan. One is a modern day kid while the other is a Yakuzza princess. The anime reminded me of the old TV show where Patty Duke played dual roles of Patty the modern day tennaged HS girl while Cathy her cousin was refined, demure and travelled all across the globe. Wm Schallert portrayed Patty's father and she and her family klived in NYC's Brooklyn Heights before it became a war zone!

Any ideas of a title, Crusader? Thanks and stay safe. Sayonara for now.- Jack/keimanzero Keiman of Anime

keimanzero wrote:Thanks very much for the concern, Stardust Crusader. I thought it strange to have a reply from an ALJ last replied to before Xmas 2019 and I never ever got a Mapquest link to someone's domicile.

I must ask this, my friend. Is your avatar a character named Bulsimia or something from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure- Golden Wind? He certainly looks like the 'cappa' who just tried to deliver Trish to the mysterious Boss who is supposedly her father! B intends to kill him because of all the misery he has caused his family and others by trafficking in narcotics.

If I could impose once more. I use this wallpaper from an old anime arc for my PC. I saw the series once but only once before on Adult Swim Toonami. I have since forgotten its title and a friend at another Q&A website suggested it may have been Oreimo but the characters and plotlines are not familiar to me.

This anime concerns two BFF schoolgirls in Japan. One is a modern day kid while the other is a Yakuzza princess. The anime reminded me of the old TV show where Patty Duke played dual roles of Patty the modern day tennaged HS girl while Cathy her cousin was refined, demure and travelled all across the globe. Wm Schallert portrayed Patty's father and she and her family klived in NYC's Brooklyn Heights before it became a war zone!

Any ideas of a title, Crusader? Thanks and stay safe. Sayonara for now.- Jack/keimanzero Keiman of Anime

Yes, my avatar is Bruno Bucciarati from JoJo Golden Wind

I'm not familiar with the anime you are talking about sorry.
Maybe [mention=107568]unoduetre[/mention] or [mention=6444]Momogari[/mention] may know?