How have you dealt with unsupportive people when you were coming out?

Post by **LilMissLarBear** » 02 Oct 2022, 17:33

Hi, this is a genuine question for people who have not had the reactions they were hoping for when they were coming out to either family, friends etc. Despite never being in a relationship, for a while now I've had a strong feeling that I'm a lesbian since my attraction towards men is practically non existent but I can at least feel a romantic attraction towards women.

I am very scared to tell my parents this because I already know that they are not overall supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, especially my dad. In the past my dad talks down on me if a girl approaches me and tells me she likes me and I get told to not speak to her again. It makes me really upset that I'm being held back this way. Anyway, I digress- I'm sure that's for a different thread.

My question for you lovely lot, if you can answer, is how have you coped with unsupportive reactions to your coming out? And how are your relations to the people you have come out to that haven't been supportive then? Was it more of a "agree to disagree" situation or or have those relationships totally changed?

Post by **lolin** » 05 Oct 2022, 18:48

honestly, if they don't respect you, you might have to cut them off

i told my dad it was transgender me or no me at all

he's still very much processing it but he's working on it

doesn't believe in it at all because of his religion but he still tries to call me by my chosen name

sometimes people surprise you and will be open to it! my sis-in-law switched right over to calling me sophia, was crazy since she's mormon

my brother? he needs convincing still, but we'll get him there

Post by **LilMissLarBear** » 05 Oct 2022, 20:39

For me it seems hard to think about cutting them off if they are not supportive. While that would be more beneficial mentally, I *want* folk to be supportive so I dont have to resort cutting anyone out. Friends that I have mentioned it to are welcome with it with open arms. But then again most of those friends I havent known for over 5 years so you could say they are coming in with an unbiased picture. Parents and siblings however, different story since theyve known me all my life. Im 24 and only just discovered this about myself, I think they will be wondering along the lines of "since when?" if you get me?

I totally get what you mean, its just the concept of it all seems scary. Cutting someone out shouldnt be something i *have* to resort to especially with parents because they are meant to be the ones supporting who you are. Then again i never picked to be lesbian, I genuinely dont feel an attraction towards men so if they dont like it then yeah, I think you would be right there to suggest that.