
Originally Posted by
Hatsumomo
OK, I'm here to comment on your awesome stuff! Let's start with Braincell, since it is your most recent piece. Also because I really liked it. Similar to the narrator, I had an enormous curiosity of what was going on. How you articulated the overwhelming questions in her head, and situation altogether, was so thought-provoking. It was all very engaging to me, as the reader. So good job with that.
You also have a way of building this mysterious setting.
The ground was a key element here and I thought that was really neat.
This was an effective short story, seeing as the ending was when everything became clear and that realization packed quite a punch. The whole time she'd been stuck inside a computer... such cleverness! Loved it, Expendable :3