This year I saw myself hit the big old three-one. Yes I turned 31 years old and... I still lack any clue on where I am meant to go in life. I know things I want to do and such but I gotta make it happen somehow. Maybe it's due to being poorly for so long and then caring for sick children I just lost my mojo, but I feel the whole "where do I go in life?" feeling again.
One thing I loved doing was events. I found that from starting Alcon all those years ago. And over the years I have been part of various events doing things like photography, interviews, co-hosting and promoting. But one thing I do enjoy is being on stage, I loved doing that but rarely get that chance. I enjoy interviewing people on the stage as well as being part of panels. I've not done a panel in a very long time. This year I had a panel scheduled but sadly I had to cancel due to illness. That really kicked me down as I felt I had let myself down.
I don't know what to do. But not only that but I have this constant fear of whether what I want to do will be beneficial to my family. I have two children that I need to feed, clothe and a house to pay for. If this calling I love so much cannot pay for the basics then what? What should I do?
I'm probably going to use this blog for more serious things going on in my head, my ALJ will be more short and simple, but regularly updated.
Hope you start to feel better soon. <3
AL wuvs ya.