~ RESULTS ~
Ok so here are the results to the grading challenge!
For those whose work is incomplete, your grade is based on what you have done. Your efforts are still very much appreciated however but let's get it in completed next time!
For those that have submitted completed work you will be rewarded with a banner =D Please link it with your MF portfolio so others can see/read your lovely work.
All grades have been marked by various staff and reviewed to give the fairest result.
The Seat of Power
A different Earth. Man has spread out from the third planet to colonise the rest of the solar system, thanks to the science of magnetic propulsion, founded in the 1850s. In the 2010s Earth is but one planet among many, and the rulers of the old nations are waking up to an uncomfortable truth: they must unite Earth under one rule or face domination by the other planets. To this end the king of England calls a summit of leaders from around the world. Chief among them a representative from America, the king of the French Empire, the Chinese Emperor and the Russian Tsar. Things are all set for negotiations to begin when an assasination attempt is made on the Kings of England and France. After saving the kings, it's up to the Royal Guard to track down where the assassins came from and who is trying to disrupt the summit. Namely, the task falls on Martin Clay, junior guardsman, and Scott Banks, Captain of the guard. Their journey takes them around the world and into space as they unravel the plots and scheming that all the houses of power are filled with. But as they get closer to discovery, their enemy's plans move forward. More assasination attempts are made, some of them succeeding. Among the losses is the British Prime Minister. The talks break down as accusations fly as to who is responsible. Just as various rulers and representatives are preparing to leave for home, word is received from Clay and Banks from the Moon. They have discovered the culprits and are returning with a witness to testify. They land in London, but before the witness can give a statement battles break out all over London. An army had been waiting, hiding amongst the people and was now attacking everything in sight. In the chaos Clay and Banks get word to the king on who the attacking force is. They are from Saturn, and don't want Earth to unite and stay the dominante power in the system. The attack is a last ditch attempt, knowing previous schemes have failed now that they have been found out. Clay and Banks rush to the kings side, and find their journey has come full circle, defending the king in pitch battle. Although the Saturn forces started with the element of surprise, they are beaten back by the British military, and in the centre of it all where the attack is strongest, the various security forces of the representatives band together to protect their leaders and the people. After hours of fighting and heavy casulties, the Saturn forces surrender. The newly united Earth leadership quickly begin preperations to either negotiate with Saturn or declare war.
Profile for: Martin Clay
> Gender: Male
> Race: Human
> Age: 26
> Birthdate: 5/06/1985
> Astrological Sign: Taurus
> Blood Type: A-
> Height: 5'10"
> Beliefs/Religion: Agnostic
> Hobby: Reading novels.
> Basic Description: Fresh faced and bright eyed, being a veteran of the palace guard hasn't broken him. He smiles easily and sweats under pressure.
> Family background: Older brother to Natalie Clay, son of Artemus Clay, a simple builder.
> Birth place: Kent
> History/Background: Wanting to be more than his father, Martin signed up for the army naively believing he'd have a medal in no time. He didn't get the medals, but he proved his ability and was assigned to priority duties, culminating in being made part of the King's personal bodyguard.
> Home: Military barracks
> Possessions, make-up, jewelry, etc.: Sending most of his money to his family, he doesn't have much more to his name than the clothes he was wearing when he signed up, and his books.
> Pets: Percy, a plant.
> Hair style: Crop cut
> Eyes: Bright blue
> Body: Lean with a bit of muscle
> Physical condition:
> Marks, scars, tattoos: A regiment tatoo on his right arm.
> Clothing: Military uniform
> Likes: The young ladies that work at the library.
> Dislikes: The men and old ladies that work at the library
> Fears: Getting kicked out of the army.
> Goals: Get promoted to general
> Occupation: Soldier
> Favorite food: Toad in the hole.
> Most prized possession (important or emotional value): Picture of his family.
> Psychological condition: Nervous but excited.
> Aptitude: Marksman
> Social and other pressure, problems: Being shuffled around so much he is frequently the new guy, and the bottom of the pecking order in what ever unit he is in.
> Beliefs, superstition, moral value: If you doubt something for even a second, don't do it.
> Positive characteristics: Friendly, eager, humble
> Negatives characteristics: Naive, slightly gullible.
Profile for: Captain Scott Banks
> Gender: Male
> Race: Human
> Age: 47
> Birthdate: 2/01/1965
> Astrological Sign: Aquarius
> Blood Type: AB
> Height: 5'11"
> Beliefs/Religion: He doesn't have time for that crap.
> Hobby: Fishing.
> Basic Description: Grim faced, with a scar just missing his left eye. Dark hair is cut short. His eyes never stop moving as he scans for threats.
> Family background: Banks is part of a long line of military men. They have loyally served the king since time immemorial.
> Birth place: London
> History/Background: Banks was born and raised into the military, and knows no other life.
> Home: Imperial guard barracks
> Possessions, make-up, jewelry, etc.: Collection of medals and swords.
> Pets: None
> Hair style: Crop cut
> Eyes: Ice cold
> Body: Lean but muscular
> Physical condition:
> Marks, scars, tattoos: Scar on face just missing left eye.
> Clothing: Military uniform
> Likes: A well executed mission.
> Dislikes: Surprises.
> Fears: Losing.
> Occupation: Soldier
> Favorite food: Rations
> Least favorite food: Anything gourmet. Too fancy, too much grass in it.
> Most prized possession (important or emotional value): Fishing rod.
> Vernacular (way of speaking): Military shorthand
> Psychological condition: Stoic
> Aptitude: Spotting threats
> Social and other pressure, problems: Is not good at dealing with non-military people.
> Relationships (with who and what kind): Father figure to most of the guard.
> Beliefs, superstition, moral value: Has a code of honour that he follows strictly.
> Positive characteristics: Unrelenting, will of iron.
> Negatives characteristics: Unforgiving.
Clay (in civilian clothes) and Natalie are in a viewing room (one wall is all glass) waiting for a spaceship launch. Natalie is impatiant, while Clay tells her to wait just a little more. Then Natalie spots something and points.
Splash page. View from behind Clay and Natalie as a spaceship launches into the sky. But rather than a rocket, this ship is launched by magnetic engines, glowing blue, that don't leave a smoke trail.
Clay and Natalie continue to watch the ascent. Natalie bids Paul goodbye, who is on the spaceship. Clay reassures her that Paul will be back soon.
Natalie checks her watch, tells Clay the time. Clay panics, he is late. He bids quick goodbyes and runs off.
Clay is running through the streets of London. Past riders on mechanical horses, weaving through traffic of cars hovering on the same blue magnetics as the spaceship. He knocks down a man in a top hat and almost bulls right into a woman in a frilly dress, he gives apologies and runs on.
Clay arrives at Buckingham Palace (the servants entrance) and heads in, saluting guards as he goes.
He arrives in a locker room and quickly gets changed. Dressed in his uniform he grabs his rifle from within his locker and heads off, into the interior of the palace.
Elsewhere, the king is leaving one room and walking into a corridor. A squad of guards awaits him, leading them is Banks. The king greets them. The squad that was with the king in the room departs. The king notices something is amiss.
The king asks why the squad is incomplete. Banks says he is unsure, but will rectify the problem with the missing man as soon as he can. Clay runs up, panting. Apologises for being late. Banks tuts at him. The king asks why Clay has a rifle.
Clay looks around. He has a rifle, while none of the other guardsman do, they are armed with pistols. Clay smiles sheepishly and says it was force of habit. Banks introduces Clay to the king, Clay has just been promoted from the palace guard, this is his first day in the royal guard.
King says that as Clay is missing his pistol belt, they'll have to do. The king and the squad head off down the corridor. The king tells Clay to try and keep the rifle out of sight.
The king and the squad arrive outside another room. The king straightens his clothes quickly. Then he opens the door. Inside he greets the king of France, they are old friends. Clay slips in with the squad and stands in the corner, keeping his rifle behind his leg.
The two kings engage in small talk over tea. Clay is scanning the room, he has an internal monologue as he remembers his training. "Don't watch your man, or the one closest to him, watch your opposite." Clay spots a french bodyguard across the room, watching him.
The two kings continue to talk, one makes a joke, both laugh. Clay is oblivious as he watches the man watch him. He sees the guards eyes shift to Clay's rifle, then accusingly at Clay.
The synopsis is described really well, is not verbose, nothing is left to the case, problems and motivations are valid and well explained. Detailed writing and character briefs, reading your char.
The plot is very interesting, the false betrayal of the two main characters is very interesting because it offers to the story a psychological aspect that is usually lacking in this type of manga.
The two main characters are described really well, lacking, perhaps, some important physical details, but it is not a real mistake, I think is more of a choice. Each of them has certain facial expressions, or emotional reactions, which make them effective and lively.
Paneling pacing is classic, which, personally, I appreciate. The sequence shown in your pages, is very smooth and natural. The behavior of the various characters are consistent with their nature, I noticed a lot of attention into details about reactions of the characters in the different situations in which they are, which creates the right mood, relative to the situation. The setting changes are well planned, and everything runs as it should.
Based on this, to me, your work deserves a 5.
I may not be good with some terms and stuff but I can see the potential of your story and you are very good at describing and give life to the story, the visual impact is great, I can not see any flaws.
5/5 - Expert
Page 1) Very good. The panels are laid out quite well but a little plain and simple. There were large gaps of white in the scenery and it leaves the page feeling a bit empty. There was however a clear concise story line and it was easy to read and follow. The font used could have been more of a 'comic' style font to add to the style of the actual panel. The drawing and the details are quite good but I think a bit more detail could have been added into the backgrounds and the buildings.
Page 2) This page is a lot better because as soon as it loaded I immediately saw it was more 'busy' with detail and the text placement. The panels are laid out a lot better there was more going on in the panel and no empty space. The drawing of the characters is very nice and the hairstyles of the class, although from behind, make them seem more individual and personalised. The text bubbles make it seem more interactive with the reader as we can clearly see the difference between the 'thought' bubbles and the 'speech' bubbles.
Page 3) Again, this panel is quite plain. The drawing of the characters is very good but the thing that lets it down is that in the first panel, the drawing seems to just stop at the shoulders. To improve on that, a slight shaded gradient or some shading on the characters would have padded the panel out to make it more 'busy' and interesting to look at. The second panel's perspective is quite sharp but it is consistent making it look believable. Again, the character design to make them look different is rather good but perhaps a school poster or board at the back representing something to do with the school would have made it look better. Plus it would also set the scene with the name of the school and an emblem of perhaps what it represents. Or perhaps adding some books/pens/paper on the desks so it looks like they are about to do something.
Overall: The standard of drawing is very good. Again with the detail of the characters, and the detailing of panels, I would try to work on that and to pad out the panels to make them look less 'white'. The font style could be changed to a more comic book style and adding even a bit of shading or gradient would do wonders! Also, you seem to have a crutch when it comes to perspective. There's only one 3/4 portrait here, everything is straight at the camera, backs to the camera or 90% to the camera. Practice drawing a single character eight times, eahc from a different compass direction.
3/5 - Journeyman
Really nice line drawings, but slightly confusing. It's very hard to tell in pages one and two what the order of the panels are, or even if it's left to right or right to left. Panels need to be laid out so actions can clearly be seen to follow each other. Extra dialogue can help with this, but try not to rely on it. Aside the initial confusion, your panel pacing is great, you manage to make it fast during action and then slow it down till the last two panel, which create curiosity, actually if it was longer I would have turned the page to see what the guy with the black dress did next! The characters design deserve a mention, you create a group of totally different characters and just by their clothings and expressions you can understand a bit of their charcter and role in the story. The dialogue looks really good to me, there is no really need of it in an action schene like the one you show, but what they say let us understand they are all worried and that repetitive "Palm out...!!" create a good tension! Anyway, yes, your drawing skill is awesome, character faces could use some more definition but over all awesome! Great work!
4/5 - Advanced
Incompletes (no banner)
Very impressed with this. The colours are lovely and suits the brightness of the swirly, galaxy looking thing against the dark blacks and purples and blues of space, it gave it a mystical aura and feel. The use of the Photoshop brushes I can see clearly with the 'bubbly' effect as well as using the eraser to create the same effect. The slight colours inside the swirl are subtle yet they add to the detail without having to do much and the yellow stars add that little bit extra.
You have done what I have seen in quite a few comic books and added a gradient within the narrative speech bubbles and used an appropriate colour to match the rest of the image yet it still allows the text to be readable. The only thing about the bubbles is that the text is a bit too plain, the 'comic-style' font really makes a page look like it is pulled straight from a full comic.
I do think that it could have been blended a little bit better (depends on the time needed), especially with the 'waterfall' effect that is coming down from the swirl but apart from that, overall it is a very nice piece.
Artwork: 4/5 - Advanced
CG: 5/5 - Expert
Now this piece is very simple when it has come to the drawing but as it is coloured in the way it is, I am very impressed. Great shading and toning where needed, even the grass has texture. The face has bounce light on the left hand side which makes me think you have thought about lighting and where it is coming from. The emotion on the face is evident and the detail in the hair is very nicely done. In the main panel, it looks as though there are trees either side of the road blocking out the sun due to the different shades of green and the amount of detail in the grass is amazing. The thing that lets it down slightly is the drawing of the characters, especially the standing figure as they look a bit stiff. You have used the comic-style font which always makes comic panels look a lot more genuine but the blocky white does ruin it slightly as it looks a bit sharp and rushed. Refining these blocks, making them look a bit neater, perhaps adding a gradient to add more colour would greatly improve this already very good piece.
4/5 - Advanced
A young girl of the age of 16 , Mira, was forced to go to her twin brother’s school and pretend to be him. her brother, Shin, is very sickly, and if he misses more days at school, he will have to repeat. Seeing as how she has already put in enough days not to repeat for the year, her parents make her go to his school in disguise.
Her parents tells Shin and Mira’s childhood friend Kouta about this predicament and offer’s him $1000 to help Mira get through the rest of the 3 weeks without letting the secret breakout.
Mira end’s up making friends and rivals throughout the school. Some people ends up knowing her secret identity. Kouta, was forced to convince them in various ways to not tell anybody the secret.
Pretty soon, some one spreads the rumour of Mira’s secret and it quickly spreads throughout the school. Those who already knew about mira quickly acted upon trying to dispose of the rumour.
Appearance- black hair, male school uniform, green eyes.
Personality- clumsy most of the times, an air-head, but is also kind, caring, and will never leave anyone in need of help alone. She is usually cheerful, but when she gets depressed, she tends to stay in an isolated space and cry by herself without anyone hearing. She’s a bit of an honour student and usually helps her friend Kouta with homework issues.
Appearance- Dark blue hair, male school uniform, red eyes, usually has headphones around his neck.
Personality- hard working on things that interest him, but isn’t very good with homework(Maths and geography in particular). He is honest and only ever lies when forced to. He always keeps his promises and has always defended Mira since they were little kids. He loves music, and has a talent for convincing people. He gets lured into doing things through money pretty easily though, since he’s poor and living by himself.
You've got a clear premise, and hooks for a lot of drama, but no clear end. Is the house of lies going to collapse, or is Shin going to go back to school and everything by okay?
The character profiles are straight forward, giving more plot hooks.
Overall it's got potential, but not enough here now to convince me.
3/5 - Journeyman
MOONLIT MEMORIES ENTRY
From what you have done, it is very nice as a start. The detail in the characters and their faces is very well done. There is a lot of movement in the images which make it interesting to look at but as there is no text, I have no idea what is going on. The second page I cannot really comment on apart from the drawing that you have done is a good start.
You have the potential to be 4/5, especially with shading and colouring but as this is only half done and basing this only on the lines, it's a 3/5.
3/5 - Journeyman
The mangas name is Knight Recorder and it's about a knight of the Fliridian Order who is being hunted down for coming into contact with the princess of Golomeda, the main country under the protectiong of the Fliridian Order, and unfortunately committing Pleothiae - the act of knowing or learning the name of somebody's soul. The knight meets the princess through a twist of fate and, due to her dreams of leaving the castle, wherein she will be used by her faher to bare suitable heirs to his throne, she shares with him her Plae- her soul name -and the magics set in place to stop the knowing of a person's Plae instantly notify the militia and her royal guard of the occurence, place and those involved.
Knowing that one or both of them must now die because of the seriousness of the matter, Syrill - the knight, uses his new-found abilities as a Plae Recorder- someone who utilises the innumerable power of the soul for various black-listed things -to turn the princess into a means of escape, a massive sword in this case.
The end of the chapter/story/etc. sees the two committing to each other and their new lives of convicts.
Basically, it's probably mostly action for this chapter.
As synposes go, this is short, only giving bare bones and the start of the story. The princess has obvious motives, wanting to be more than an heir factory; but the knight is left blank. He meets the runaway princess, but does not immediately return her home. Does he fall in love with her? Does she give him her Plae immediately, implicating him in the crime? Also, why is Pleothiae (a made up and hard to spell word) a crime?
You might have more in your notes, but it should have been put down in your entry.
2/5 - Apprentice