{[ The Adventures of a "soon to be" Animator ]} The Last Year in College...

[Kunita Mizu]

01/14/12- 5:45pm

Hey, oh man as soon as December hit it was like non-stop work. Have I said how I work at fedex to pay for college? Well I do and they are great for the money but jeez, I didn't realize how many people shopped online for the holidays. Of course some of that was stores restocking or getting ready for their big sells. I'm finally free, passed my last semester with flying colors and went to break. Of course with work it didn't feel like a break and now I'm in another semester.

I'm so excited, I only have five more classes left to go and I'm taking two now. For one class I will be making a reel for when I go job hunting, not that I haven't looked around. The other class is called Team-production. What that means is how it sounds. I will be working with a team of people on an animated short. Which is awesome because it will be like working at a studio. I'm excited, but already (on the first day) my a couple of my team-mates are uneasy. I can't really see why, I mean I know people are unpredictable but know we have a chance to make something really sweet! Things will happen but all we have to do is prepare for it. Hopefully they will see it like that and we can make a good short.

I need to get started with inspiring or at least be on top of my tasks. I don't know how else to make them see. I have hope and I will not let it go under.

Later

[Kunita Mizu]

02/21/12- 11:48am

Well I never thought that I would be falling behind because I was lazy about it. It seems like I'm being over confident or something. One part of my brain is thinking I can do all that I need to in one week so whats the point in doing it now. The other part of my brain is screaming "what the hell are you doing!" I need to get my act together and quickly.

My team production class is going on time. The one that i'm having a problem with so far and being lazy with is my solo capstone class. I'm making a reel of rigging and animation. Besides for what I just mentioned all I have to do is unwrap and texture the models I got from other students. I'm only suppose to focus on rigging and animation because this reel is going to be presented to my future employers, for a resume. Yes its true that I want to work as an animator or rig models but making this reel isn't fun to me at all. I mean for this class I've already gone through two other stories (both have completed models and backgrounds) and redoing those and then scrapping them for this just made me lose interest in it. I guess when I'm done with this reel I guess I could finish the two stories and have them as back-ups, but right now I just want to sleep.

I shouldn't be thinking this way. I have to make it perfect that way the ones who watch it will be so inspired to hire me and that all I really want. I'm so close I can't be doing this right now. I can't be losing interest in something I've been trying to work into for so long. I also don't feel like I should take a brake. I feel like if I take a break from this that I'll not want to get back into it. I know I love making stories and creating characters. Ahhh, I feel sooo tired. Maybe a little nap wouldn't hurt, I mean I can't work myself too hard either.

I'll keep updating as much as I can but I have a feeling I won't be back on till I'm on break.

Later

[Kunita Mizu]

03/8/12- 4:15pm

I feel so down right now. Things in school are going as good as they can right now, but now there seems to be complication with my financial business. What I mean is my school is being stupid. I don't think I can trust them with anything right now, except teaching me (they do well there). Also in my team production class everyone seems to be doing their own thing. We have two weeks left and we are behind. I have everything ready in the previs so I'm just waiting on the final models. I need these models so I can replace them in the reference editor, in maya, that way when the instructor looks at the previs (3-D storyboard) everything will look like its going to without the textures.

I honestly don't know what to do because its taking longer than it should and some of the team are starting on other things that, don't get me wrong, do need to be finished but the main part of our grade is the 3-D storyboard. This class is two semesters long and in the next semester it need to be all about animating. I know that lighting, texturing, and rigging need to be finished in two weeks but right now my team is leaving me sitting here with nothing to do. I was, for the meeting today, suggest that I help out with something that needs to be modeled but no one showed up and no one has answered me. I was so excited for this class but if this is all I'm going to be doing then I might as well just stay home. I don't understand why no one is asking for help. I'm right here...and we only have two weeks left. I hope this ends well.

There is one last thing. I transferred shifts at work so that I could take the rest of my classes but it seem next semester one of my FINAL classes is at night. The time of my new shift is 8pm to midnight. This is getting to the point where I believe fate just wants me to wait but that's not what I have planned out. I have only three more classes after this! JUST THREE MORE and I'll be able to be like hey look I have that super special awesome degree now, want to hire me? I'm going to see if there is any internships going on. Maybe I can finish off my college credits working at an animation studio. I heard that cartoon network was doing one awhile ago....probably not now.

Well that is all I'm going to unload on you, hopefully it will all turn around. Everyone have lot and lots of fun for me!

Later

[Kunita Mizu]

5/9/12- 12:37pm


Wow, my apologies. I haven't added a new journal in a mouth and that just proves how busy you can get. I've gone into another quarter and this one is the last one. I'm so wanting to be done with all this and work on some real stuff. I'm back with my team and we are finishing our animated short for this quarter. This quarter we were suppose to focus on only animating the scenes, but we didn't finish a lot of things. Its already passed midterms and there is only five more weeks left. I'm freaking out here, mostly because me and one other person are the only ones (out of four people) to have gotten our animated scenes in the finalizing stage. One of out team mates isn't coming to school anymore, because she doesn't have any money to take classes but luckily she isn't leaving us in the dark. This one person is important because she is our Art Director, which means that everything from the way the characters look to the way things move have to be checked by her. This animated short is practically her baby.

I think if every one of our pieces can be completed on time and everything animated next week we can finish this with no problem. The story is great and the colors are bright, I really cant wait to see it all complete. The image below is of the 2D puppet I made in Maya for the story.

I'm not sure if I said what the story is about but I'll tell it again. The story starts with a little girl just sitting in her bed. Shes reading her favorite pop-up book about pirates. She starts to get sleepy and is soon fast asleep with her book in hand. It fades to white and soon you hear seagulls and ocean waves. The scene fades in, from the little girl's perspective, and right away a seagull screams in her face. The scene cuts to her sitting on a 2D paper bed. She backs up, startled, while the seagull takes off into the sky. She cant believe her eyes as she looks around. It looks like shes in her pop-up book and that is what this scene shows in the link I put below. The scene you see is just her first look around the 2D world. Its just a playblast, which means that when its rendered there will be effects like shadows and contrast of light.

http://youtu.be/o0-pXwKJ9dA

I'm also in portfolio presentation class and I'm realizing how far behind I am with self branding. My logos are primitive at most. I need something cool and something the says everything that I want to say. Well anyways I'll save some for later, if you want to hear more of the story well I might be willing to let you see a previs. The previs is basically a 3-D storyboard in motion.

Later <3

[Kunita Mizu]

7/19/12 - 12:08pm

Oh what the hell! Excuse me, I am going through a little bit of a down hill. To update, my team production class turned out to be crap. Mostly because two team members didn't know how to do things and the others didn't want to call back or reply to txts when there was a meeting. I would expect that when you ALL agree to meet at a time and place that ALL will hold that agreement. I can't believe how many times half of the group didn't show up towards the end. Our last day in class was horrible, since our animated short was only half rendered and only half textured. Can someone hand me a fish? I wish to slap these people with them.

Anyways, break is over and the new quarter, semester...whatever, has come. I have only one class left. I can fully concentrate on this one capstone project without out any worries for another class, but I've his a wall. I look around me in this school and I get more depressed about my future. There are so many other people in the school who can do so much more than I can. Most of them are going through break-downs thinking they will never make it, but I see their work and their passion for their stories or what have you I can't see why. I get depressed because I know I have a extremely long way to go before I think I will be excepted by a studio, but these people with the break-downs and panic attacks are of high skill. They don't need to see a therapist to talk about if this is the right chose for them. They belong in this field! How come I'm the one who keep trucking through? I'm mediocre at best. So far I have failed to finish even one good project and yet I cry only when a sad scene comes on in a movie. I know they all have dreams and I know they all want this. Why are they doing this to themselves?

Listen up and listen well! If you are one of those people who is told, every time you draw something or write something, that you are good and have talent then don't you DARE get down on yourself when someone critiques you for the first time! Even thought it might hurt at first or that person is incredibly rude to you that does not mean that you are bad. Because right now I can guarantee to you that there is someone far worse than you and they are dreaming right now of being something more. Right now that person who has been criticized from the beginning is finding grounds to push themselves higher. You have the skill and all you have to do is refine it. They have to learn everything that you already know! Those people who are behind you right now will pass you faster than you can think it. You, with the talent and the passion, are just like my best friend who is going through a major break-down. She is letting money and thoughts of failure stop her. She is taking another semester off from school and is falling behind. While I, who is constantly having to look up how to do things, am passing her and I am graduating this September. I will be out there sooner. I will be working in a studio sooner. Why, because she couldn't take someone telling her that she needs more refinement.

Its not a bad thing when someone, either rude or nice, gives you a critique. Whether they mean to or not they are give you the fuel you need to push you further than you thought possible. Its apart of growing up. When you graduate high school and go into college you are going to experience a bigger world. You are going to see that you are small compared to the .... what is it now, like 2.5 billion people in the world? Of course you are going to feel insignificant, so is the majority of the college students who want to be something. The point is you can't let everything be a burden to you. I mean hello! Has anyone read how Miyazaki started out? He started out working for a major animator in Japan. He started out in a studio with everyone else. When he created studio Ghibli his first full length animated feature, Nasica and the valley of the wind, was shut down! The backers that fund the films told him "why would we want to make a movie when it doesn't have its own comic series?" and do you know what he did? He started drawing out comic strips that he got to be published in an animation magazine called Animage. Also his producer never gave up, his good friend Toshio Suzuki, who saw his passion and marched in there and talked the ears off of those financial backers. Now look at where they are today, to me that is impressive. If you want more proof, maybe closer to home if you live in America, then look no further than Pixar! Did you know that Pixar was just a little departement attached to Lucas films? George Lucas decided that he didn't want his company to focus on programs for computers so that department was going to be shut down. It was John Lasseter who broke that department away and said that he would like to try and make it into something. Then with the help of Steve Jobs, who lost more the four million dollars at first to Pixar, they didn't give up on that idea. The group of animators that came with Lasseter and him worked hard to develop a program to better help with 3D animation and Steve Jobs didn't back down from being their financial backer and talking with Disney to help them out. It was a long time before they saw anything out of it but with their first movie, Toy Story, they started to see that they could do it! Pixar could be more than what it was started for. All of that because of people who had talent and the passion to be fueled by those who said no or told them they needed more refinement.

I think I may have over done it on this post, but I'm really serious when it comes to this. I maybe passing my good friend but I want to see her succeed. She deserves it more than me. I want to see more people coming out of their ruts. You people, whether your like me or like my friend, I want to see you one day with your names somewhere. Maybe in a big list on animators in the credits. Maybe as one of the background actors or stage hands at a theater. Maybe your singing in some small gig at a bar somewhere. The point is everyone is going to feel low and start off somewhere where you just blend in, but the point is to not stay there. Have a dream and don't let go even if your life depends on it. I don't want to see anymore people give up just because of something that they could use as fuel. If anything I'll believe in you and all my friends. Don't let go, please.


I feel like crying now... T-T I got to go. I have to work on my capstone so it will look perfect.

Later <3

[Kunita Mizu]

10/25/12 - 4:15pm

Ahhhhhhhh, my feet are killing me! Ok heres the update. I did it! I am graduated, but I have to attend the ceremony next year because I didn't finish with my course until after the one for this year was over. So yeah there is that...eventually I will get out of here. I probably should start a new journal since this one is suppose to be about my last year in college... ah well I'm sure its ok if I finish out the year in this journal.

Lets see I was finished in the end of september and already I again regret going to a college all about their business then the students. Career Services has already called and told me I needed them to send them my resume and a reel, which I know is for my own good but I have a plan in place and I have a feeling they are just going to help me get black listed. For those of you who don't know blacklisted is when you make one bad/horrible mistake with one important company and from then on no one else will hire you. I don't know why but I get the vibe that they are going to schedule me for an interview that is not in my plan and its just going to fall from there. Right now I am working day and night shift at my current job, which is nowhere near what I want to do for the rest of my life, to afford the big move to California next year. I plan to move there in September of next year so it will be that time when it gets a little cold and so I will officially be graduated when I leave. I probably am thinking too much about the whole Career Services thing. I'm sure they have my best interests in mind...hopefully. I have until the end of October to finish an awesome reel... so seven days? Well crap.

I'm sure it will work out somehow. I mean its not like I have to start from scratch, I do have all those animations I've done while in school. I hope it goes well and I hope that they fixed their stupid email because last time I sent them something they never got it and sent that letter five times before I gave up. I had to go to the office and talk to them about it. I don't think going to the office with a reel on CD and a paper copy of my resume is what they had in mind. Maybe I should just build a website and send them the link to that. Yeah that fixes everything... except the time limit. I can't fix up animations and create a web site in seven days...make that six if I don't include today. Uhhhhg, my body is tired, I have to work tonight, and there is just no time in the day for this side adventure. Oh whatever world, I know I should have prepared for this sooner but I haven't seemed to have a break yet. I just going to take a nap, goodnight.


Wish me luck! Later <3

[Kunita Mizu]

2/20/13- 11:53am

Dear lord, I haven't been on here since September. ;>> I'm sorry about that. Here is an update, not that anyone reads this expect you know staff that make sure everyone is up to date, but you know that's normal. Anyway, the point is I feel like crap. I was able to get an interview with a company here in my city of Indianapolis, but I failed the asset test. For those who don't know its basically a little test to see if you know your stuff and if you can do it within a certain time frame. Two hours, four different mini projects. I don't know how long I stared at that first one. I kept thinking 'there is no way that its that simple' and I kept thinking that through all the projects. I wasted so much time re-reading the instructions to find a hidden meaning or something else I was suppose to do that with the last project I didn't even get to finish. I feel so incredibly stupid. I know I'm suppose to get my foot through the door but how am I suppose to do that when the only thing over here, in good old Indiana, is advertising? Through out the test i thought I was doing something wrong, but maybe its not what I expected. I thought I could work and have a job relating to what I studied and then move on, but I keep finding myself thinking that maybe I should just jump right to going to California and try to apply at a studio. But I know it can't be that simple, I can't expect that I'll get a job with just the stuff I worked on at school.

The career services people are trying to find me a job with some kind of motion graphics. I mean I do like that kind of animation, but at the same time the only thing that really inspires me when it comes to motion graphics is music. I mean I guess I could make a story based one for my portfolio. I don't remember if I explained what motion graphics is when I had the class but I've got this link here to show what I mean.

Its a reel to Clement Morin, this person is awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c2sZ4A-QFU

Now some of that stuff on his reel is just using high resolution images to create 3D worlds and most of it is actually more along the lines of visual effects, but its all pretty sweet. The program Adobe After Effects is the program that I'm familiar with, but I'm sure there are a lot of programs that you can use to make all those things. I'm sure I mentioned this before but Video Copilot.com is a great place to start at to learn about after effects and to see if you would like working in that field.

Here is the link to the tutorials: http://www.videocopilot.net/tutorials/

....What was I talking about again, Oh yeah my total failure. Well any case on Saturday I'm having a meeting with career services about where I want to take things and what kind of job I'm looking for. It a good thing I still have a job at FedEx, I would totally starve without them at this point. I need to stop handing out freebies. Oh I'm also supporting my self my making jewelry and things online. I usually also try to sell my stuff at conventions. I've only got a few things up right now, I should load the rest of the photos I have so it doesn't look so depleted but I haven't been able to find the time. Oh man, maybe I'm just spreading myself a little too thin with everything thats going on. I need some heavy inspiration and its killing me that music seems to be the only thing right now. I mean I love music, but I don't want it to define what I'm to do with my career...I know a couple of people who have comics!! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE! I love this site, get all my best ideas talking to myself. I'll animate a comic book one of my friends made and that will be a perfect motion graphics piece to my portfolio. I hope they think its a great idea too. Oh, please let my friends think its a cool idea ><;

T-T Animeleague. net what would I do without you to confined in and work out stuff in my head. Have I mention that right now, because the weather is forever changing its mind, that I have a head cold so my mind doesn't seem to working right. Not that its ever worked right from the beginning, but you know it just overly crowded right now. I feel super creative right now! ... but now that I think of it, maybe I should worry about getting better. I need my health before anything else. I'm going to take medicine and go to bed now.


Later <3