Isolated space(DJ_Desolate's portfolio) [A/W]

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Hi...time to re-introduce myself again lol...My name is Jedric Serrano (most people call me Jed or DJ...mostly cuz i like music and i tend to wear headphones a lot) I'm age 14 I live in Australia and go to B.B.H.S....my birthday is at october 19 and i clearly like video games, music, drawing, making stories and lots of other things but your gonna have to ask me via PM if you want to know.

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just posting some more... oh yeah, and new chapter for Phantom world, sorry for the long wait, i had a bucket load of things i had to do...

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here it is...

[Moonlit Memories]

THe sycth is definitely my favorite out of all of these. The details are really great!

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i won't be here in saturday, going to my grandmother's house for her birthday

[babyface]

tell her happy birthday for me

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Some more stuff i havent posted in yet

[Capousky]

Hey DJ!! Just taking a look in your portfolio. I like to see you drawing more human figures, excellent!! You are very talented, so I am sure you will improve faster and faster, just keep working hard and you will see the progress.
Glad to have you here with us

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MORE!!!!

[Capousky]

DJ, I want your skills for drawing weapons!!! You are improving a lot there. Also I see you are working hard with your humans drawings, very good. I bet you will enjoy our future workshops to learn more about anatomy ^^


Now, one favor I need from you. Can you please indicate in your portfolio title that you are an artist and a writer? That will help us a lot ^__^

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done, thanks for reminding me

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i just remembered i drew these a few days ago...
P.S. sry, i took it with my DSI and sent it to facebook a few days ago, but it got ruined....so this is all i could get from my Facebook account.... oh yeah, and im pretty sure people who haveplayed persona 3 or has watched/read bleach will atleast be able to identify one of these two
Ichigo kurosaki-bleach
Minato arisato- Persona 3/Persona 3 FES/ Persona 3 Portable
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?fb...7&l=cd2896b7a0

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hey guys, sorry for not being able to do any actual work on my portfolio, hope you guys can understand... (Ive been bombarded by homework recently and there are also some other things i needed to take care of) anyways, i did this for my English assignment. hope you guys like it.

[Capousky]

Oh, I really like this short story!!!! You should try to make a script with this one, really!!!
Now some points of Advice.

Arcane was surprised to see so many people who were not even knights, training and preparing to liberate Arcana castle and defeat the evil warlord. There were even tents that have been set up as temporary barracks for the men who are fighting against the warlord.

In this part I saw a combination of verbal times that is incorrect, if you are talking in past, then keep at it, that are that I underlined is definitely wrong. Minor issue, but be careful with that.

Leila told the men. Her charisma was remarkable, and her speech was motivational. Everybody cheered after her speech, and it was clear that everybody was motivated.

I think you should use more synonyms, in this part you could replace, even if you need to change the meaning a bit, but that will make the story to sound better ^^


Well, I hope that helped you a bit. I am not very good with grammar, tbh, but I can try to help you as best as I can


Now, about your recent drawings. I really liked the work you did there, very well done fanarts. The best way to understand the manga style is with fanarts. I know it may look as copying, but when you are starting you are allowed to do so. With time this fanarts will help you to find your own style, so keep drawing and drawing like mad

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thanks for the critiques capy^^ wait...your name is changed, so should i start calling you something else? just making sure if you have a new nickname... anyways, ill try to make sure the punctuation is better next time, though im probably gonna get minus marks for this in school... anyways, thanks for the pointers