Tadashi didn't hesitate. Again, acting instantly. Almost like he has been waiting to hear her words. To have her consent before doing anything to get her out of that place. She followed him. Absorbing his words as he tried to reassure her. They will go to a nice place. A peaceful place. One were she would be safe. Where she could finally be free. Where none of her demons would come get her. However, even as she imagined the beach house, her mind was spinning with all the different ways it could go wrong. Every fiber shaking. Nervous. Terrified. Sato finding them escaping. Sato furious. Sato killing Tadashi. She...didn't want Tadashi to die because of her. Why would another person have to suffer because of her? If it came to choosing, she would choose Tadashi's life in a heartbeat. Would become Sato's slave. Would endure anything he put her through. If it meant that Tadashi could live and escape.
Effectively, everything that could go wrong happened.
Sato intercepted them. The feral rage in his eyes a sight that turned Azusa's blood cold. In a blink of an eye, both men went at each other like maddened beasts. Both with the intent to kill. Azusa stood in a corner, watching the brawl take place. Watching both men beat each other bloody. Snarling. Growling. Pounding at each other. Tadashi seemed to have the upper hand due to his size, mass, and skills. The anxiety didn't leave her for a moment. So very worried for Tadashi's life. Her eyes glued to Sato for any sign that might put Tadashi's life in danger. Right when she saw that familiar shine that belonged to a gun, Azusa called it out. But it wasn't fast enough. A gunshot. A bullet passed straight through Tadashi's knees, making him buckle in agony. Of course, that wouldn't satisfy her husband. No. He had to put several more bullets through the same spot until the gun was entirely empty. The horrific sight made her eyes well with tears. Watching dear Tadashi writhe in pain as blood poured down his mauled knee. Moving her body, Azusa fell to her knees between Sato and Tadashi.
"Don't kill him! Please!" She pleaded with tears. "I'll do anything you ask. Anything you want. You can do anything to me. Just please spare him..."
Her words fell on deaf ears. Sato screaming at her. Making her flinch in fear. And confusion. He gave her what she wanted? No he didn't. She only wanted to be loved. To be cared for. To know she was someone precious to him. All she got was pain. Pain every damn night. Humiliation. Mortification. Abuse in every shape, way, and form. All she got was being turned from the beloved wife, to his personal sex slave. If that was his idea of what she wanted...then he was more twisted and sick than she had ever imagined. The only thing he accomplished...was killing her inside. With a pained cry, Azusa held Sato's hands as he grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the nearest wall. Pain surged through her body as she connected with the wall. Feeling the throbbing pain in her head. Disorientated, she hazily focused on Sato who once more picked her up by the hair. But then it was his hand that connected with her face. She cried out. Tears rolling down her face. Tasting the blood in her mouth.
Had...Sato just...hit her?
He hit her...
He had just stepped on whatever was left of her. Killed it. Shattered it. That lingering, faded part she realized she still had. The one that had believed Sato would never be like her Father. That whatever speck of love he had for her would prevent him from ever hitting her. Once more...Sato killed that. Proved her wrong. She felt his hand smack her again. More forcefully. More blood in her mouth. More tears. More shattered pieces from her already broken heart. Sato was beating her up. This was...just like her childhood. She had returned back to the past. The suffocation burning at her lungs as his hand was literally now around her throat. Lifting her up from the ground. Choking the life out of her.
Sato...was literally killing her...
Her vision began to fade as oxygen was lost. More than that, the vision she saw of the man she loved was also fading. Disappearing. Vanishing. Dying. Almost like the man she remembered from before had been an illusion her mind created. Someone that had never even existed. A dream she had lived too deeply in. With a loud grunt, her body reconnected with the floor. Laying down. Battered and bloodied. Coughing for breath again. Two figures arrived. One frantically tending to Tadashi. The only shooting at Sato. Damion and Ru...surely. But she was tired. So tired...aching so badly all over; in both both and heart. The dizziness becoming too much, Azusa passed out. Preferring the darkness of being unconscious to whatever horror she was surrounded in.
Her entire world had just finished crumbling down.
There was nothing left.
Just the tears of the dream that once had been.
The next day, Azusa woke up finding herself lying down in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room. Body connected to monitors. Injected with IVs. A side of her face bandaged. One thing she instantly recognized, however, was the sound of the ocean waves and the smell of the sea water. The beach house. Every part of her throbbed, even the slightest movement. Each pang of pain a reminder of what had happened yesterday. Of how her world fell apart and shattered. Of the way Sato...had become her Father and mercilessly hit her. How was it possible she could still cry? One would think that the hell she lived in and all the tears she had shed would have sucked her dry. It seems...her husband had broken her so badly that there wouldn't be an end to the tears. Each drop a reminder of the abuse. Each drop a memory of the loving past that had brutally died at some point.
To add more stress, Ru had given her news. News that she was yet unsure how to react to. She was one month pregnant. She was...with child. Again. Normally the news should bring her joy. After Hwan, it was hinted the damage to her core was so severe she might be unable to get pregnant again. But here she was...with a baby already growing inside her. And joy was not something she felt. Only dread. Only sorrow and grief. To think...she had been so close to putting a bullet through her head and thus ending her baby's life. Killing another baby of hers again. God...if Tadashi hadn't arrived when he did...she would have killed another baby...was she this big a piece of shit? Not only that but she was sure it was Sato's baby. Even though she had slept with Tadashi, Sato had taken her every single fuckin night. It had to be Sato's. She was carrying the child...of the man who destroyed her physically, emotionally, mentally, and morally. The only remaining part of, perhaps, the Sato that had actually loved her. If he ever had...
Placing a hand on her stomach...more tears cascaded down her face. Still grieving over the death of her and Sato.
Getting out of bed, ignoring the ache all over her, Azusa made her way to the room Tadashi was in. The beach house was more of a mansion. Tadashi was in the room beside hers. She went to him. Ru was tending to him, monitoring. His knee...was destroyed. Completely. If he ever hoped to walk again he had to have several surgeries done and therapy. And even that didn't guarantee he could walk. Tadashi was destroyed...because of her. If only she had toughened up and stayed...if only she had not said nonsense to escape...then Tadashi would be fine. Not like this. Ru left the room. Azusa crawled on the bed and snuggled beside him. Placing the arm that wasn't connected to anything around her. Crying, she sobbed against him.
"I'm sorry Tadashi...I'm sorry..."
They had escaped.
They were free.
But at what price?
Ru had done everything she could be currently done to his knee. When he finally woke up about a week after leaving Mansu Ru informed him the extent of the damage done. That their beat option to get the most mobility out of his right leg again would be to call on Percy. The damage done to him wasn't in her skill set to repair. There was worry in her eyes that she may have cause more damage when she worked on him.
The thought of calling Percy... turned his stomach. Did he even have the right to ask for Percy's help after what he did to Hera? No matter how much he thought about it... He just couldn't bring himself to give Ru the okay to summon him here. Instead he told her to look for another skilled doctor to bring here to work on his knee. Then dismissed her wanting to be alone for a bit while he thought everything over. Currently Azusa was asleep, after Ru peeled the girl away from him. Informing him the girl was like a leech to him, clinging tonhis body while he slept. While it annoyed Ru it made him smirk.
He held no concern about his knee, however it turned out it turned out. Taking it as finally paying some kind of payment for what he had done to Elle. He didn't die, but he would suffer with it for the rest of the time he was breathing. Azusa didn't think it was a light matter. Understanding her worry and more then likely guilt that he got injured helping her.
Not much time passed before the very girl he was thinking about made her into his room. The state she was in hardly made him at ease. Catching her when she was close enough he pulled her to him, getting snuggly snuggled into his side. "You didn't listen to me." He whispered against the top of her head. Pulling the blanket up and over her he tucked her into bed with him. "I told you to run if Sato showed up, not beg for my life and allow yourself to get beaten. Are you feeling out? Has Ru tended to you decently?"
Ignoring the pain in his leg he adjusted a little to look over her. Touching her face light it was heavily bruised from Sato's blows. Knowing exactly why it ended up this way... He had hesitated to kill Sato because of her. With Azusa standing there watching.. He didn't want to kill the man she had so deeply loved in front of her. Didn't want that image to be connected with him. Instead it had allowed Sato to one up him, not having an ounce of hesitation. "You still look beautiful." Brushing his lips lightly over hers he smiled alight before laying down more comfortably. Keeping her in the safety and warmth of his arms. "Did you go to the beach yet?"
Ignoring Ru's blatant annoyance and insistence that she remained in her own room instead, Azusa spent every waking moment beside Tadashi. If not in his bed nuzzling against him, then sitting in a chair beside him as she held his hand. Not wanting to spend a moment apart from him. He was like this because of her. He would probably remain invalid because of her. What if not even Percy could help him recover? Had she just taken away from him any chance of a future? On the moments she wasn't writhing in guilt towards Tadashi, she was still finding ways to absorb the reality of the life that was steadily growing inside her. Unable to shake away the dread that filled her whenever she thought on how close she was to killing it. And that this child was the only surviving connection she had to the Sato that loved her once upon a time.
During his week she had not slept. At all. Only pretended to be asleep so that Ru or Damion wouldn't nag her about it. She didn't perceive they liked her very much. Surely blaming her for their leader's horrid fate. Nonetheless, they kept an eye out for her and took care of her. Most likely acting on behalf of what Tadashi would expect from them. Making sure she had her meals, even though her appetite was scarce to none, and making sure she went to sleep. But when night arrived, her body went on high alert. Hyper aware. Most of the times feeling that fear rattle her body and senses. Her mind connecting the dread of the night to the abuse she was subjected to daily. Being pregnant prevented her from relying on her sleeping pills to be able to sleep soundly, and her insomnia didn't let her fall asleep normally. Even so, if she did close her eyes in her current state, the only thing that would happen is making her fall in the nightmares and memories of this past months. Make her relieve every single mortifying moment. Hell...even just feeling the night fall had her breathing hard and heavy. Like the suffocation and constricting ache in her chest hadn't gone away.
In fact...even while awake breathing hurt. Each inhale and exhale.
Hearing voices in Tadashi's room, Azusa head there. Finding him finally awake. When he took her hand and pulled her into the bed, she settled close to him. Surrounding herself by his warmth and his scent. "You should know I'm stubborn." Azusa stroked the length of his arm. Being careful with his countless bruises. "I couldn't let him kill you..." And yet, perhaps this fate was worse than death. The mere possibility of being invalid because he had been trying to protect her. Because she had cursed him with her existence too.
So why was he asking her how she was doing and what had she been doing? Why was he focusing on her state and still not failing to give her affection and attention? Why wasn't he lamenting himself for his grim future? Why did he still looked at her as if nothing had changed in how he viewed her? Why did he still want to kiss her and hold her? Why didn't he blame her or pointed out all she did wrong? Why was he...so different and special that it made her want to cry...? Feeling his warm, soft lips brush against her, Azusa reciprocated the gesture. A thumb stroking his cheek as she cupped one side of his face. Gazing at the softness in his eyes, and at his beautiful smile.
"Tadashi..." She swallowed a heavy lump from her throat. "I'm pregnant..."
The shame and self-reproach once more gnawing at her and ripping another part of her.
"I tried to kill it...if I had pulled that trigger I would have..." Distressed, tear-filled eyes looked at him. Despair and grief reflected so heavily in them. "I was about to kill my baby...again...again I would have lost another one because of me." Her chest heaved as she panted. Hyperventilating. Voicing the truth of it made it all that more real. It weigh in on her the reality of what she had almost done. "I almost killed it...I almost killed my baby..." Azusa sat up, running a distressed hand across her hair. Her eyes began to look around the room, frantically. As if she was on high alert. Paranoid. As if she was waiting for Sato to come and take her away. To take her baby away. Or maybe kill it. He...he also tried to kill it... "Sato...Sato might take it from me...Tadashi...is Sato going to come for me?" She looked around. Still terrified. Still imagining her husband. "Did you close the doors? Tell Ru and Damion to be safe...Sato is probably mad...I am not home by now..."
She was losing herself.
"....do I have to go back...?"
Something he had not expected her to say to him. While it should be something she should be excited about, rejoicing with the one she loved with... she said it to him with such sorrow. Panic. Guilt. Fear. None of the emotion she should be feeling right now. To add it triggered a mental break down for her, consumed so quickly. She was upright looking around, scared that Sato would pop up like he had in the Sky House when they were leaving. "ZuZu." He called her name softly. Tugging on her lightly he made her straddle his stomach and nuzzle her head under his chin. So she was as close and plastered against his body as she physically could.
One hand rested on the small of her back, the other very soothingly trailed up and down her back. "You're safe here. Damion and Ru has made it so Sato will go on very long wild goose chase, but never arrive here. No one even knows this island exists, this is Hera's private island." Once again he pulled the blankets over her, encasing her in warmth. The dark circles under her eyes screamed that she hadn't been sleeping. "Sleep in my arms, just relax. Nothing bad is going to happen here, it is just us." He whispered to her as he kissed the top of her head. After a moment of silence... and bringing himself to do something he hadn't done in a really long time, he sang softly for her. Sang and continued to stroke her back.
Not even Elle had heard him sing, no one, but Azusa got the pleasure of hearing him sing. Rather desperate to give her an anchor. Usually his option would to be physical, but that was out of the question. In his mind for the rest of their lives. He would just stay by her side, hold her, maybe kiss her. But he would never take her body that had been abused and used for physical pleasure. He valued her too much to take from her like that. Brushing hair behind her ear he gently brushed his thumb over her forehead. "I won't let you go, ZuZu."
Stroking her back. Kissing the top of her head or her lips. Letting her nuzzle against him. Ear resting over his chest, listening to the anchoring heartbeat. Unforgettable scent and warmth. Hearing him softly sing with the deepest but most melodious if voices. That was how Azusa managed to sleep soundly. Only like this. Only in Tadashi's arms. Feeling his safety as well as her tenderness. Three months had passed since they escaped Mansu and arrived to the beach house. Since Azusa knew she was pregnant. Since Tadashi had a few surgeries done to his knee, attempting to recover some mobility. During this time Azusa saw Tadshi's promise be fulfilled. Saw the way he never failed to care for her.
Finding joy and laughter in life again was hard. It was like Sato had killed her capacity for it the day he raped her in front of everyone. But Tadashi, true to his word, tried his best to make sure she was happy. Sure, her smles were rare. Her laughter even rarer. But there was always warmth whenever Tadashi was with her. Bringing her flowers. Writing sappy letters to her. Singing to her. Reading with her. Finding any possible way in which he could tell her she was safe and that he would keep his promise. Showing her how special she was to him. Even when the paranoia and trauma triggered in, making her lose herself in panic attacks or waking up in the middle of the night to hide in the closet from Sato, Tadashi never got irritated. Never berated her for being weak. On the contrary, he was patient and so very loving. Kindly holding her when that happened and bringing her back to the safety of her current reality. Using his physical comfort to ground her again.
As the months had passed, so did her pregnancy. Now she was four months in. Her belly already growing. Showing the growth of the baby inside her. With each passing day she found herself loving her baby more. Happy that it was okay and it was alive. That this baby wasn't dead. It hadn't died. She...wanted to be a good mother. Would she be a good mother? She wanted the baby to always be happy. To always be loved. And Tadashi took special attention to her. Satisfying every midnight craving. Stroking her little bump. Singing to her and the baby. She loved his voice. Loved to hear him sing. It would always soothe her troubled heart. Momens like thos reminded her that she was away from hell. From the nightmares and the monsters. That evem when she had a flashback and lost herself in it, Tadashi would find her and lovingly bring her back.
Today she was at the library. The house had a small one but Tadashi expanded ir for her, knowing how much she adored to read. Even made a small nook for her with cusions and blankets. Azusa sat down in her own personal nook. Reading maternity books. It felt so much like deja vu. To think that almost 2 years ago she had been in a nook as well, at Beakyun...reading maternity books because...she was pregnant. It seemed like life was very much against her having Sato's child. How would things have been if Sasuke hadn't died? Would Sato still have loved her? Would he have not...? Azusa stared blankly at the window. Gazing aimlessly at the ocean. Pondering about the what ifs. And how maybe...her life wouldn't have been so miserable. Because back then...Sato cared about her so very much...
She heard Tadashi enter. Recognized his footsteps.
"I think about my other baby sometimes. Sasuke. Do you think...Sato wouldn't have changed if maybe I hadn't lost him...? That maybe he'd still love me?" A hand reached her tiny bumo and stroked it. "I read these books to orientate myself but...they always remind me of when I was at Beakyun in Thantos. When I read them for Sasuke. I was so sad...I lost him. He was going to be my first baby boy. Tadashi...I am scared...to lose this baby too..."
"Just take her back to her brother." Damion still felt the burning sensation in his chest towards the fact he hadn't killed the fucked up bastard that damaged his Leader to this extent. The pain was so bad Tadashi couldn't even attempt to hide it from his expression. Another surgery, more pins and metal pieces put in to keep his leg one functioning body part. Sato had severed and damaged a lot in his right knee, so much that the Doctor they flew out took a whole day to map out how to attempt to salvage it. Currently Doctor Zhi was sticking a needle into the side of his knee, injecting a pain killer directly to ease the pain. Three days had passed since the last surgery. "She is pregnant with some low lifes baby, let her family deal with her. I don't care if we live on an island, I don't want the girl to continue to make you bend over backwards for her. Your knee is obliterated, but you are babysitting her constantly cooing and coddling her to help her feel better."
Grinding his teeth together he grunted in agonizing pain, to the point he felt light headed and was sure he would pass out. Meaning most of what Damion said fell on deaf ears, unable to concentrate as the pain seized him. It felt like eternity before the needle came out of the side of his knee, followed by the numbing sensation.
"This pain... will come often." Doctor Zhi told him as he stood to his feet, Damion had summoned him urgently when he found Tadashi withering in pain on the floor. Refusing to scream because he didn't want Azusa to know. Knowing she had enough guilt, the girl thought his knee was getting better, that it didn't hurt him much. He didn't want Azusa to know, she could know anything, but this. Already she cried her eyes out every time he had a surgery for it. "Alert me right away and I will give you the shot. You should be fine now."
With that the Doctor excused himself, leaving him with Damion. "Why would I just live on an island?" Tadashi finally asked him. Finally able to breath, the pain no longer strangling his lungs. "Azusa gives me a reason, if she is taken out of the picture I am left with the decision had I tried to make before. I don't have Vlahakis and I don't have Elle."
"So you are just going to replace all of that with this girl? You're going to work yourself to the bone without any regard for yourself... for some girl that doesn't have a place in her heart for you? I give you Elle. The girl had the balls to die for you, the feelings she had for you were charming." Something he didn't grasp till he held the gun to the frail girl's head. After writing the letter the girl didn't beg for her life once, set on dying so Tadashi could live. With a sigh he got to his feet. "Send her to her brother, Tadashi. She doesn't need people like us, not after what she went through."
Painfully slow, Tadashi toddled to the library where Azusa was. His hands had a death grip on the crutch that offset his weight from his injured leg. It was only three months, he shouldn't be moving around. However, since he had started moving Azusa seemed relieved. Knowing he was getting better and she hadn't forever bedridden him. When he got to the door he adjusted himself, put himself together. Removed the sweat from his face. Then entered the library, no longer struggling he seemed to move over to where she snuggled in her nook with ease. A light smile on his face as he kissed her ever so lightly on the lips.
Scooting her over he joined her listening to her share her inner thoughts with him. Bringing up her dead child and Sato. Draping an arm around her he pulled her into his side. "I don't have answers for you questions, ZuZu. But I know this child is going to live. Nothing is going to happen to it so long as I am around." Stroking her stomach a gentle look touched his face as he stared at it. "If you would allow me, I would like to protect and care for your baby... If you need me to, I would raise it as my own. Give it my name to keep your child from ever being taken."
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)