The Forum Piracy Guidebook
Submitted by FreeSaiyan.
Do you worry about your forum having crappy rules?
Do you wonder how on Earth you can attract more members?
Does the system seem all wrong? Why doesn't a welcome announcement saying 'hey u guyz, ^____^' seem to attract anyone?
Never fear! For piracy Inc have released our guidebook on how to make your own forum!
It's simple set of steps is a masterstroke. No more, do you, the owner, have to make up those boring rules, or worry about putting in the effort to make something vaguely original. Hell, you don't even require any admin skills... We make this so simple that a monkey could quite literally do it.
Go here and copy absolutely everything! Even copy the forum layout. And to add some extra flair, why not copy some popular member's identities too? Think that the Ramblings hmod, Sin, is cool? Well, don't fantasise about being him any longer, BE HIM! By copying his signature, avatar, aim, msn, email and all his mannerisms, your coolness factor will increase ten fold. Make the ctrl c and ctrl v keyboard combinations your best friend!
Ah, you ask! What if you've stolen someone's identity, and he aims you in a frenzy to demand his name be removed? What if he flames you?!? WHAT IF HE WANTS TO KILL YOU?! Well, never fear! As our guide suggests, you simply hand him your head admin username and password to cool his outrage.
Don't believe us? Just look at our previous customers who bought our guidebook. Destiny anime are thrilled with the results, as is this forum here . Please ignore the fact that it is now hacked to shreds, and abandoned, this has absolutely nothing to do with their stealing another forum's material or the person who is probably the most angry being handed the admin username and password. Instead, in such a case, find a random scapegoat to ban; someone you don't like works superbly! Thus the members are reassured, and you've killed two birds with one stone!
Yessiree, The Forum Piracy guidebook details all this and so much more. Once you've read it, you'll never want to take your fingers off that copy and paste button again.
Trojan Condoms.
Submitted by Elvish Gleeman.
Do you have problems “keeping it up?”
Or
Is your man not “man enough” to satisfy your needs?
Or
Is your girlfriend just so ugly that you need to finish for yourself?!
Well, at long last, men and women, you can be satisfied with your lovers’ touch!
After several attempts to sway the CEO of Trojan Condoms’ favor, Mewski has done it at last (Lawsuit number one coming our way - Ed) ! Trojan brand condoms with faces of your AnimeLeague favorites for controlled climax!
Is your girlfriend just, that, hot? Have you had shameful and embarrassing experience with premature ejaculation? Well, now that’s OKAY! Now, printed on the latex of your Trojan brand condoms, is a picture of the, one and only, Monster FreeSaiyan!
With only slight augmentations to his facial features, we GUARANTEE that, after seeing this picture, it’ll be hours and hours before you can finally “shoot your load!” (Lawsuit number two.. -Ed)
WARNING: Do not purchase this product unless your woman is ABSOLUTELY stunning! In extreme cases, when no countermeasures were used in conjunction of this product, consumers came down with a condition known as E.D. (Erectile Dysfunction).
Now, how about those men that just aren’t lucky with women? You know, the ones that have girls that are, on a scale of one to ten, a zero? The guys that just can’t get a white girl ( .. Goodbye, guys, it was nice working with you.. - Ed) ! Well, we’ve catered to them as well! Using the same state-of-the-art technology as before, we’ve printed a latex condom with a picture of The Beautiful Bregan on it!
AGAIN, use with caution! Unless you’re dating one ugly son of a bitch, your ability to please your counterpart could be jeopardized! You’ll need to “take care of business” really quickly, or you might blow your load thinking about the picture!
LADIES, these condoms are NOT ONLY TO SUIT MEN! Buy these condoms for your man if they have issues when it comes to satisfying you!
REMEMBER, FOLKS: If you can’t please, LET US HELP YOU!
Past Issue Technology Items.
Lazy Ass Buster.
Anti Flame-wear.