Lazy Ass Buster 2005.
Submitted by Roy Leggbuster.

Do YOU run a forum and despair as your staff do feck all? Do you wish that there was a way to force them into actually doing work for a change? Do you watch deadline by deadline go by, and see dream projects like say, a newspaper for your website go down the drain? Stress no more! Lazy Ass Buster© is here! Yes siree, with the L.A.B (catchy friendly sounding title, eh folks?) you can live the American Dream (Or British or Australian or even French! Hell, we don't discriminate against you for not having been born in the land of truth and liberty!) Your staff will work all day long for absolutely no pay whatsoever! Let's look at the case of Little Mikey. Little Mikey owned a moderately successful forum called Animeleague. The poor boy would despair as day by day he'd see his staff do fuck all. Indeed, things got so bad that he was considering hiring foreign immigrants from China (Oh noes!). Thankfully, we stepped in and gave him his dignity and his life back. Now, he employs over 50 million members of staff who work for absolutely nothing around the boards! Let's look at someone who did NOT employ the Lazy Ass Buster. Veko and Bender decided one day to make a newspaper for AL. Ignoring our protestations, they plouged on without investing in L.A.B. Deadlines passed, and the paper fell behind it's release date. However! Little Mikey was smart, and stepped in with his L.A.B when all else seemed lost and saved the day! As you can see, if the member of staff fails to do their work, L.A.B uses advanced Psychological conditioning to fix this behavioural problem. After a few thuds with Mr Whacky, the defective member of staff is fixed! L.A.B is available at a discount price of 9999.99 gil. Why not take advantage of Roy's repayment plan? We will give you L.A.B, and you pay us absolutely nothing for six months!* * This deal can be changed by us at any time. Don't worry though! Leg Buster Roy is a really considerate and fair kinda guy!

L.A.B uses the innovative technology of scary men with big bats (S.M.W.B.B ©).

---

Anti Flame-wear.
Submitted by MewSaiyan Ltd.

So you are new to AnimeLeague and a bit scared of the members that have been there for a while. You keep seeing this 'Flaming' going on in places like Ramblings and so forth. Well no more hiding for you! Anti Flame-wear is the latest clothing brought to you by MewSaiyan Ltd. These super cool and totally awesome looking outfits ignore flames and baits by bouncing right off and back into the face of the flamer. "They are soft on your skin, cosy and can be worn any time of the year!" says the inventor of this highly desireable clothes line. The Inventor asked not to be named so for the inventor privacy we are using 'Mew' as a nickname. "Fashionable too! We do both male and female Anti Flame-Wear and currently working on unisex for those who just have no idea whether they are male or female." 'Mew' added. "It's shocking how many people out there want our clothing and don't seem to have a single gender." You can choose different colours and style Hawaiian Shirts which come in yellow and blue and for the winter outfits we have Eskimo Jackets. Both are just examples of our stylish Anti Flame-wear Clothes line. We must warn you though that users are advised not to machine wash or tumble dry this product. The outcome will shock, amaze and surely ruin your favourite Anti Flame-Wear clothes. Remember to read the label. Considering buying one? Well good for you! They are only 500,000gil each and will be coming soon to an AL Shop near you.