The Party to Literally End all Parties!
Animeleague Version 2!
Whining is banned.

The Party to Literally End all Parties!
Submitted by FreeSaiyan

 

Now we finally know why the world did not end in 2000. Why? Because 2006, AL's FOURTH birthday in fact heralds the end of everything as we know it. Everyone was startled last night as the Scientists working in General Discussion came to this devastating conclusion.

 

As usually happens, the cynics proclaimed it to be drama #28974 on animeleague, the n00bs started a stampede, and the staff shrugged and waited for the ruckus to die down. Few actually believed that the predictions would be true. Oh how wrong they all were. At 1am on the morning of the 24th Feb, the spam on the boards reached critical density. For years animeleague had averted this potential disaster, but with Ramblings being promised FREE GIL for spamming topics and posts within it, the spammers went wild.

 

This in itself would have been containable, if it had not been the wild parties that were going on at the time. The staff, all drunk (Blame free drink - Ed), did not realise until the tidal wave of spam reached them and swept through them. Suddenly every word they said was interceded by 'lol' and 'spam' and '+1!'. So, the ability to speak, gone. This was but the first sign of the oncoming apocaly-

 

(Hey guys! I am going to have to stop him there! This is Ed. Sorry about the rather negative opening article to a very happy day! Surfice to say, none of this is true, so don't duck and cover quite yet! Yes, today is AL's fourth birthday. Have fun, drink lots, and don't hit on animeleague! She is apparently very easy, but she is apparently FreeSaiyan's gf (and Mewski's, and SephyGirl's, and... *reads off a long list of names), and he WILL ban you for attempting to steal her away! You have been warned!

 

*Runs off to partake in the FREE DRINK...*

 

Hey? How much did it cost to buy all this? Oh... THAT MUCH? Luckily the server's paid for up till June, isn't it? Oh? It's not? Until 25th Feb 2006? Uh oh....

-Ed)


Animeleague Version 2!
Submitted by FreeSaiyan

Crowds gathered around AL last night as FreeSaiyan announced the advent of AL version 2, real life edition. This revolutionary new board technology includes the follow innovations:

- Sunlight.
- Social interaction modules.
- Anti-drama tredmill.
- REAL people. Instead of posting to people, you speak to them in what we term a room.

Unfortunately AL version 2 does not include post counts or joined dates. This has sparked a revolt within Ramblings (to be called the garbage dump in version 2). The leader of the revolt demands for all post counts to be tatooed on members, with a tally added to someone's body for every sentence they say. Fierce debate continues as to whether the biggest spammers would have enough body space to incorperate their count.

The staff of animeleague are nevertheless happy at being given the Whitehouse in Washington for their area. AL Council were slightly miffed at only being handed the Houses Of Parliament in London. Meanwhile General Discussion have been handed the United Nations building - to continue their 'useful' work in debating anything and everything for an eternity with the rare achievement of useful results (cue debate in GD about how useful the UN is!)

Roleplayers Realm and CityScape are delighted to have the real life edition of AL. However, there seems to be a slight bug - if players jump out of high buildings to fly off, they seem to instead fall down to the ground and die. Other powers such as resurrection and regeneration also seem to be missing.

Meanwhile, AL have been so kind as to hand the real life upgrade to Gaia Online as well! Apparently all Gaia members are to be put into a space rocket (though oddly enough without space suits) where they'll be blasted off to a 'wonderful and happy' place in outer space. Curiously the same service has been offered to myspace, and livejournal users as well. FreeSaiyan was commented as saying to this, "Clearly those who cause the most drama and act the most n00bish deserve to live in a different place than our world!" As to why he was saying this with a smirk on his face, and the other admins standing behind him in hysterics is beyond our knowledge.

 

 

 

 

Whining is banned.
Submitted by Tennin.


Whining about the weather or the offline radio are offences for which you can now be de-opped and even kicked at a forum that has banned moaning. Strange as it seems, employees at the company #AnimeLeague.Net Networks Ltd., have to agree to be in a good mood as part of their employment contract.

The Head Manager ~FreeSaiyan said those who get up on the wrong side of the bed should stay at home or offline and deal with their grumpiness rather than come into work, but he warned those taking too much time off for bad moods would face the sack.
"We made the ban on moaning and grumpiness at work official after one female employee refused to subscribe to the company's philosophy of always emoticon-ing," he said.
"She used to moan so much that other employees complained about her complaining. Once it was part of the contract however, our employees really started to think positively.
"Mood is an important factor in productivity and everyone here works hard and is happy."


@Damion, who has been with the company for all of its four years, said: "It's great that whining is not allowed. If one person is grumpy it makes everyone else feel bad and ruins what could be a good day."
IT Trade Union Lawyer, Perry Mason said: "In principle, employers and employees can contractually agree on anything if both sides are happy and that includes banning whining
"But I am not sure if being a sourpuss is enough reason to fire somebody."


Past Issue News Items.

ZOMG!!! N00b Flu Strikes Back!
Ramblings Implodes!
Gaia Online Defeated!
Crazed Bombers on AL!
Nobody Suspects..
N00b Flu
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