n00b Flu! Oh noes!
Submitted by The Editor

Animeleague was in a state of panic yesterday as the n00b flu epidemic continued to spread. The first outbreak of the deadly disease which attacks the brain was reported recently, when FreeSaiyan began to act oddly. The initial custom title change to 'omglolz111' was disturbing enough, but nothing could prepare the masses for the shock of their leader renaming himself to DbzLover999.

The devastating effects of n00b flu are revealed.

From the newly rechristened DbzLover999, the disease rapidly began to spread. Within hours the Ramblings forum was starting to act like a genuine collection of complete idiots rather than pretending to be (For the love of God, tell me they pretend - Ed). It did not take long for the other sections to respond. The borders from Ramblings into the other areas were immediately shut down to prevent it's spread. However, it was too little too late. The next area to be affected was General Discussion. For many years a haven of brilliant debates, full of polite people, and no one ever seeking to insult or show one another up, this changed. As the bug spread, the GDers began to argue relentlessly, sought to make fools of those who did not agree with their own opinions, and when all else failed they started to rant about Ramblings being the devil (Are you sure this was n00b flu? - Ed)

So, how does n00b flu affect you, and how can you avoid it?

N00b flu is a postually transmitted disease that attacks the brain. As you can see in the illustration above, it can have devastating effects once you catch it. Within hours the victim is reduced to desperately trying to find a forum member to 'marry', starts sending out and genuinely believing in chain letters, spends more time making his or her signature than actually posting, and overloads their posts with so many emoticons that the smiley faces push a typical user over their bandwidth limit for that month.

Even more scary is the dreaded 'final metamorphosis' stage. Almost like a grim parody of the horror movie, the Fly, the affected goes through many physical changes. Below is a drawing by someone who was lucky enough to survive the close encounter.




Thankfully, Scientists are rapidly working on a cure to n00b flu. It is believed that a n00b can be killed by chopping off their head. Of course, this may result in a slight side affect of severe blood loss, limb loss, and even death, but advancing techniques should make this save in good time. Until then, staff advise that you stay out of the infected forums, and try to avoid contact with anyone or anything that appears n00b-like.

This is your editor, signing off! ..lolz1!...

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AnimeLeague Riots
Submitted by Mewski/nekochan9363

Is it you going mad? Is it a hacker? No it's not and it's causing riots all over the place. As the n00b flu starts to spread over AnimeLeague in places such as General Discussion and Roleplayers Realm people start going crazy and wild to the extent they have all rushed into Ramblings to complain and whine that they are seeing too much n00b talk on AnimeLeague. But having such a mass of different members from different areas gather into one forum helped the flu spread further and now AnimeLeague is burning up with the n00b flu. With temperatures rising and no medication for the sick members there is no hope for this message board.

I decided to question the head and founder of the website. I had heard rumors he was running around Ramblings like some noob but it didn't stop me.

Mewski: First of all how are you feeling Mr... Dbzlover999?
Dbzlover999: gud u? WE MUST STOP TEH RIOTS! ITS NOOB RIOTS!!1 lolz *licks ur mic*
Mewski I hear it could be a hacker leaving some sort of purple powder like the ones used not long ago in the Houses of Paliment. Is this true?
Dbzlover999: no cuz if he wuz a hacker then hed hack the bag b4 he could empty it lolz im funny!!!
Mewski: any ideas what may of caused this 'n00b flu'?
Dbzlover999: n00bs or flu... 50-50
Mewski: Will there be any medication on the way to AnimeLeague for those infected by this flu?
Dbzlover999: wut doz medicaton mean?
Mewski: ... medicine...
Dbzlover999: yuck no thats icky

I think we have uncovered several things in that short interview. First of all the founder and head admin of this message board has about as much chance passing his driving theory test, which he has booked this week (14th November. You have been warned!), as a fish. Secondly the rumours of him having the n00b flu seem to be true as he speaks in 'n00blish' as the n00bs call it. Finally we see that the riots could continue for many days to come as no medication to stop it will be handed out due to the fact it is 'icky'.

This is Mewski/nekochan9363 signing off.

PS - i too have the flu n had sum1 help me and check my speeling. kthnxbye!!!1