If you have a letter that you'd like to send to Uncle Gleeman, then click here to send Alia of the Knife a PM over animeleague.
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Dear Uncle Gleeman, Today my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant and I...well, I freaked out. One thing led to another, and I don't know what to DO. Somebody's going to notice the smell eventually, and I can't keep the cleaning staff out for much longer. What's a good brand of air freshener? This is actually an easy one! I've had this problem in the past, in fact. To deal with it, however, I took a different approach--being as I'm a bit older, with a steady job and a good credit rating, I invested in a "DeWalt-DW364K Saw." Now, what I did next might come as a bit of a surprise--after cutting her into manageable pieces, I decided to eat her. Oh, and reader, the hindquarters have the sweetest meat. Dear Uncle Gleeman, I'd like to keep my name anonymous. Listen, my boyfriend and I broke up the other day. It was for... well, the most ridiculous reason ever. I just... I can't get him back for some reason. I don't know why! ALL I did was give his "secret" Instant Messanger name to his friends, and he just, he totally flipped out! Please Uncle Glee, I need him back, he's my everything! What can I do to get his trust back so I can get his new secret AIM name? ... My poor, poor little girl. Perhaps you don't understand how important one's internet username is! How... sacred, and beautiful it is. Perhaps you need to learn to appreciate the beauty of a name that... well, a person chooses for his or her own self. It is... an expression of one's very soul! Have you ever wondered why users often continue the use of a single name? No, of course not! You, who are a half-wit! You never even considered how deep we delve into our very essences to choose our names... To come up with a thing like "FreeSaiyan," or "Elvish Gleeman," or "Dark Knight 007." That, my dear darling, is beauty. Here, a look into the lives of a couple with a woman who couldn't appreciate this lost art: here Dear Uncle Gleeman, im ne w2 then et. Im new 2 th eforum seeen a swell if that makes sense 2u. Any way i just joined the AL site and I am afraid of postnig! Evrey tiem i write a pots some1 cums and pix on me. I think the other member sof the forum callt hese ppl... trolls or something? How should I reackt to this? Well... This might sound a little complex, but hear me out. Here, I'll give you step by step instructions: #1. Fill up the bath-tub. #2. Get IN the bath-tub. #3. Take your electric heater with you. |
Dear Uncle Gleeman, I've noticed an alarming trend of minorities in positions of power on the Internet. Assistants, Moderators, and even one or two ADMINISTRATORS! How much longer can we sit idly by before they run into our threads, trying to sell us fried watermelon or raw panda meat? Even abducting our children to raise them with CULTIST VALUES! I'd like to know what's being done. Don't worry, reader! Numerous concerned staff members have their head in the same place as you, and are fighting vigorously to get niggas off the net. Dear Uncle Gleeman, I'm in a bit of a pickle here. I'm twenty-four years old, I have a wife, and a kid on the way. I use the internet a lot, and often visit the AnimeLeague.net website! Well, onto the point--The other night, my wife put in a movie and we snuggled in bed while watching it. I fell asleep. Well... I guess, she told me I was moaning, and when I finally said something distinguishable, I was calling someone's name--she said, that I said, the words Midnight Raven! Please Uncle Glee, what can I do? Well, first of all, what I need you to do is send whatever pictures, photos, cyber chat logs or WHATEVER you had with Midnight Raven, to me. Next, you should probably splash yourself in the face with cold water to get things into perspective. Anyway, what's more important to you? Some random skank from the internet, or your god damn wife?! She's there for you to use more often than not, right? Dear Uncle Gleeman, what's with these fucking goths? All they do is cry and cut themselves and generally bring everyone else down! See, what I don't understand though is, WHY THEIR PARENTS DONT DO ANYTHING! Seriously! The pastor at my church handed out slips one year to our congregation, explaining evidence of the presence of a demon or devil--black fingernail polish, black lipstick, poor self esteem, bad hygene, etc! So why don't parents just exorcise their children by beating the living hell out of them?! -Paladin of God's Grace Dear reader, shut the fuck up. |