Hey there you party freaks! It's Mewski here once again waving my staff around as it begins to glow. For you see, people, I can read your future! Wanna learn more? Read on! :D

Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)

You will decover a tasty birthday coming your way, a few alcoholic drinks (if you are of the legal age or a certain website we all know and love) and have great fun with the person or people you care about most. Enjoy yourself and don't get worried about getting old! It's not that bad! Well.. that's what I have been told by FreeSaiyan... gulp!

Aries (March 21 - April 20)

You are going to prepare yourself for a birthday also! Aw crap! But least you have time to prepare of your new age to smack you in the face. I suggest buying a few cans of beer or some alcohol and hiding out for a few months til it's over. Alcohol is your only love!

Taurus (April 21 - May 20)

Eeep it's a bull! Wait these are just star signs I forgot... Where was I? Oh yes if you are born under this sign you will find yourself in a freaky online party of some online community birthday bash. Don't ask me! That's what my glowing staff tells me! Sounds a bit whacky, huh?

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

It's twins! Always trying to get away from your problem and never facing up to it. But that doesn't stop you being dragged to a great few hours of pure fun and even a quiz in some sort of chatroom. How odd... But I am interested myself! :D

Cancer (June 22 - July 22)

Bit crabby, eh? Oh the puns just keep on coming! Quick your snapping (another!) and just relax. Go with the flow of the water (another!) and move forward not sideways (haha I suck at these puns). Suggest maybe going to a party. You never know you might be invited to one!

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)

RAWR! Calm down, kitty! Wow you are one hot pussy. Oh okay I'll tone down the puns! Anyway. Maybe you need to let out all this tension in a positive way. Get on the dance floor at... hmm.. I dunno some sort of party or something? Always a great way of getting rid of any tension on you!

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

Ah Virgo. So pretty. I envy you, bitch! *growl* but that's not what you are paying me for- I mean reading this for totally free for! You wanna know what you should do this month? Well meet some new friends maybe at some sort of be do. I hear something is happening on 24th February. Might wanna check that out! Also Mewski's staff says you need to relax more. Oh and buy a present for someone on 3rd March. I have no idea what THAT could be about <_<;

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

Always weighing things out and worrying! Well worry no more! Take time off and get ya kit off at a local community near you like... AnimeLeague! Haha I am good at this, huh?

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

Eep don't hurt me! *eeps* I'm sure you are safe, right? Well if not I hear I can put this down as "injury at work" and sue FreeSaiyan's ass. Opps I am saying things I am meant to keep in my head! Eerrr.. So Scorpio! Put that tail away for it can scare a few people off and it's probably the main reason people are put off by you. Do something about it and then try and meet new people at some place where people commute. I hear there's some room of chatting in AnimeLeague (cough#animeleaguecough).

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 20)

Dude you have four legs and two arms? And a tail?! Oh and people think I'm weird for having a tail and pointy ears but you are one odd thing! But you are a customer- I mean reader! Put down your bow and arrow, please! Yeah sure might make you look heroic but my staff tells me you need to let yourself loose and take a trip out somewhere like a party... Man I really am pushing this, huh?

Capricorn (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19)

baa! Someone's horny! Haha more puns! Sorry... Anyway they are somewhat deadly those horns. You could poke someone's eye out! Christ that wouldn't look good on your record. Although would make an interesting topic of discussion for my staff tells me you should take a trip to an online community's IRC Channel. How odd... *shakes it* Is this thing broken?

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

Water, Water, everywhere but not a drop to drink! Oh that wasn't too bad, surely?! Drinking water is all very well but alcohol is more fun! Get a few shots of vodka in ya instead or maybe a glass of cider at a club or party going on on the 24th February.

And so thus ends my Horoscope for this month, people! Wow my staff says you are all going to be partying... wait whats this computer doing connected to my staff?

...FREESAIYAN!!!!

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Past Issue Horoscopes.

Mewski's January Horoscopes.
Scafl's December Horoscopes.
Washu's November Horoscopes.