Glorious Leader Inspires Shining Revolution
Momentum Sparrers are scary
Beware of Family Bearing Gifts
Glorious Leader Inspires Shining Revolution
Submitted by Citiz- er... Arbiter Azariah.
The First International Citizens Conference was recently held, creating a spectacle not quite like anything ever seen within the realm of Anime League before. Crowded at the wharf, numerous Citizens crowded to await the arrival of their fearless, brave, cunning, intelligent, loving leader.
As darkness descended over the docks, the crowd began to grow in size and zeal. A young by the name of Citizen, 21, was quite content to communicate his feelings of anticipation to our correspondent.
“Well, I’m just awaiting the coming of our master and leader, Citizen. I’ve waited a long time to catch a glimpse of his face; so rugged and powerful. I wonder if he’s anything like he is on the posters? I sometimes go and collect them… they’re all over my walls.”
Suddenly, a mighty cheer broke out amidst the port, piercing the night much the shrill whistle of a steamboat powering into the harbour. Standing heroically upon the railings of his vermilion sea craft, Citizen gesticulated towards the wild throng of supporters. His poster perfect, his gestures silky smooth, the glittering in eyes knowing, compassionate, stern and kind. His khaki uniform was almost as neat and well cared for as his soaring moustache, almost concealing a smile that seemed to ooze charisma.
Leaping off the side of his ship and onto a nearby soapbox, he gave a sharp salute. This was indeed a man that had the word of the man on the street; the ringing in our correspondent’s ears courtesy of the young Citizen next to him was a testament to that. When some of the raucous cheering died down, The Foremost Citizen addressed his crowd at long last;
“Free men and women of Anime League! I greet you not just as a fellow member, but also as a Citizen! A Citizen of what is a mighty movement that will shake things up, around, and possibly sideways as well! That movement, my friends, is the way of the Citizen. That movement, my friends, is you and me!”
The crowd broke into a mighty applause, one that seemed to go on for minutes upon end. This was the glory of the Foremost Citizen; his great ideas, his glorious didactics, his grand and inspiring vision. It was truly a sight to behold. The Foremost Citizen held up his hand to call for silence, and he went on:
For this vision to be realised, we must establish our Citizenship now! Go forth, fellow Citizens! Grow your facial hair to impressive standards! Defend your Citizenship with all your might; remember that there is no logic but Citizogic! The journey towards the realisation of our goal shall be long, hard, but glorious. Hop aboard the Steamboat of Opportunity, to the Vacationing Island of Glorious Revelation! Toot toot!
The applause broke out again, amidst rhythmic chants of “Toot toot! Toot toot!” The crowd lurched and surged, running through the cobblestone streets, seeking out their target. A source of everlasting evil and suffering, and what was truly the antithesis of Citizenship. With a shout and a bang, the stampede penetrated the gates of Ramblings.
The attack was fierce, brutal and (to some) strangely arousing. The power of Citizogic could be seen in almost every crevice of the chaotic streets of Ramblings. A member of the attacking force, a young woman by the name of Citizen, tells us of the experience.
“Well, we were just pouring through the streets. You know what it’s like when you add liquid to a full glass? It was like that. Either way, we heard someone try and raise the alarm, screaming something like “Ho shit, Citizen attack!” I think that was it, it was hard to hear amidst screams of ‘oh noes’ and stuff like that.”
When asked about the manner in which the Citizens struck, her faced creased into a grim smile.
“It was brilliant. You could hear the sizzling of melting brains, you really could. Nothing beats Citizogic. It is a beautiful gift, one which our blessed and wonderful leader gave us to further his noble and righteous cause…”
With this, Citizen, 19, seemed to break off, her eyes misting over.
Our correspondent went to seek a professional opinion in the name of informed journalism. Political scientist Dr. Citizen reports that the surge in Citizenship number was a reaction to what were essentially revolutionary pre-conditions.
“Well, with n00b flu on the rise, the people had to turn to a man who could lead them out of the darkness. A man they could put their trust in. A man of strong wit, peak intellectual form, a true example to us all…”
However, prominent pubic figure Citizen slammed Dr Citizen’s theory, declaring that Citizenship was an inevitable movement.
“How can that man believe that the people would not take a knee to the Foremost Citizen without pre-condition? He is beyond pre-condition, beyond bourgeois logic. He is great, mighty, admirable, virile, nubile…”
With that, Citizen ushered our correspondent out of his office, claiming he “needed alone time.”
Momentum Sparrers are scary
Submitted by Retox.
"I've been afraid to set foot in MS ever since I've joined RR. I'm going to get my face chewed off." - Midnight Raven, 10th November 2005.
Hello. I'm an active member of Momentum Sparring's community and I think it's time to change this reputation Momentum Sparring has come to gain.
First off, I'd like to say that we're really cool guys and girls to chill with. Really, we are. We hang out in our Roleplayer's Realm forums all day long telling each other how cool it is crap on new players and beat the fucking shit out what's left of their text-talking minds just for shits and giggles. Then we realise how lazy we are and how it's been forever since anyone of us actually last did that, so we change the subject.
Um... Unfortunately, the change has been permanent which is why you can't find any of us actually posting about crapping on new players. And our old and aching finger bones are too tired for us to start beating people up again, so we just laugh at our computer screens. That's another cool thing we do. Laughing at our screens. It's cool.
Anyways, as I said earlier on, I'm one of the more active members of the community and coincidentally one of the least influential ones. Yeah, because you see, the less you post the more you become famous. That's what's cool about us, you can totally not post in our forum and still be uber popular - you just have to say you're gonna join, watch everyone get hyped and then you can laugh at your screen like us, because that's a cool thing we do. It's cool. Like Momentum. Cool.
How do we spar? Oh, well, uh... You mean right now or back in the day? Because back in the day was probably before you were born, so there's no point diving into that pool.
Uh... WE laugh at our computer screens, which is cool. Did I already mention that? Oh man, I must be catching Alzheimer. You can't catch it that illness? Man, that's how bad it's getting...
Dear readers, I would to say one last thing before my heart fails (writing this is an incredible effort for my active-yet-lazy-ass fingers to type and I'm afraid it's already taking a haul over my metabolism) and it is that Momentum is really a cool, cool place for you to chill and be frosty and just be every synonym of cold known to man.
So come and post in Momentum, because it's cool
Beware of Family Bearing Gifts
Submitted by Ajax, Soup, and PoliceGirl.
I am having a hard time understanding the concept of “The Thank You Card”. This subject is currently a dominant one right now due to graduation or as I like to call it, the “family members you’ve never even heard off throw money at you extravaganza.” So now that I’ve raked through all the checks and cashed them all, I find I have to send little cards saying my thanks.
Why? It was a gift right? Shouldn’t the note from the bank saying “your account has been drained” after I moved the decimal places on the check over to the right a few spaces be enough?
I do find the thank you card scenario a bit ridiculous. Not sending a thank you card gets you blacklisted faster than walking down Washington DC with a shirt saying “Card carrying member of the Communist Party” during the Cold War. People get so wound up over this insignificant piece of paper that entire families get torn apart.
And even worse than not sending one is sending an email instead. My Uncle did that to his sister and lets just say next year he got a vasectomy gift package.
The last option available to those not wanting to spend money to thank someone for giving them money is the telephone. This is a rarely used technique simply because everyone knows it won’t work. Why? The point of the thank you card is not the actual gesture but the physical paper itself. You can not keep a thank you phone call in a box to later be used as evidence against you in some unrelated (by any logical form of thinking known to man) to the actual argument.
I know my family isn’t the only one obsessed with the thank you card. I’ve heard the horror stories, all ending with someone being attacked by the Hallmark Assassin Guild of the Suburbs or HAGS.
Julius Cesar forgot to send a thank you card to Brutus and we all know what happened there. The Trojans didn’t thank the Greeks for the horse, which lead to Troy being burnt to the ground.
Hallmark conspiracy? Cultural nuisance? Either way, I’m going to stay on the good side of my family because they know where I live.
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The Americans With No Life Act